Ch - 42
Sana smiles on herself and think ways by from which sidharth will share his past. Suddenly a idea strikes on her mind that should start from the guitar, if its him then definitely he involved in singing. And here she didn't know single thing about singing, people will run miles away if she start singing. She keep thinking by biting her lips when sidharth come out from the washroom.
He shook his head by looking at her, sitting beside he open his Mac book and start doing something on it. Sana look at him with corner of her eyes and rest her back on the bed post by closing eyes. Taking a breath she start humming a song slowly. He turns to her with colliding brows, this is the first she do something like this in front of him.
Don't she knows that he hate music, closing eyes he calm himself down because some memories came in his mind which made him more irritate,. Fisting hand he says by try to keep his voice calm, "Naaz." She knew it, now its confirmed that he has some relation with singing. And from his voice its sounds clear that monster mode is on.
But she didn't stop and asks through hand gesture, "what?" Looking at the other side he says, "Stop humming!" She give her a hi five from inside as now she can start a discussion or maybe arguments on this with him. Preparing herself for monster's attack she takes a breath and says, "What? But why will i stop, i love humming and listening music."
She again close her eyes and start humming, he gritted his teeth and says by grabbing her elbow, "I said stop it, don't you get that." She look at him with narrowing brows and asks, "But why? I am not humming so loud that it's cause problem in your work." He takes a breath and says, eyes turned red in anger, "Naaz, don't start argue in everything."
"Get one thing clear on your mind that, no one listen mu..whatever you did right now, here in my hell. If you want to listen them then put ear plugs and no humming. At least not when i am around you." She collided her brows in confusion, why he has problem with words. First didn't take love, and music. Now she more deliberately want to know his past..
Frowning she asks, "Why not in front of you? Don't you like music? And how can someone be away from any kind of music?" He hate the thing whenever the word is repeated. Why she never listen to him and doing her stubbornness, leaving her hand he get up from the bed and says a little louder, "No, i hate even that word, and this is hell no one listen all this here."
"You also never dare use that word again in front of me, otherwise i don't know what will i do," Said he move outside the room by banging the door. She close her eyes, never wanted to make him upset but its important for him to take out from whatever inside him. It's make him suffer more because, never try to come out from his past. The nightmares will never leave him, until himself try to forget the reason behind all this.
And for this, he need to open up whatever running inside him. She knows it is not easy nor will be..seeing him hurt, her heart crunched but she have to give him some pain in order to bring him back from forever pain and the hell in which he captured himself. Holding head she close her eyes when suddenly realized that where is he? Shit!! If again go to that drugs, getting down she rush outside.
Here sidharth come towards his study, after almost a month,..she didn't let him go out of the room in all these days. But right now this is the exact place for him, he need those drugs to forget all those memories which again came in front him,..those memories which everytime sucked his soul from body and tear him apart. He never want to remember anything, but seems that his past every time come in front him to again give him the extreme pain.
As soon as he entered inside the study shocked to see all his shelf filled with alcohol is empty. Not a single bottle is there, just the reality hit him that, since the day from accident he didn't take any of his addictions. Widened his eyes in shock he move to the drawers and not a single packet of cigarettes there, what the hell? Where is everything?
It's so shocking for him that be normal, sleep properly without those addictions and not d even crave for those in one single day. Suddenly Sana's face come in front of him, "Yes she is the reason....she is the damn reason, bigger than any other addictions of mine." With her he forget almost everything, being human from the monster...but no...he can't let himself change.
He is a devil and never wants to change himself. No matter who is in front of him, groaning in anger he pick a chair and break the glass table in several pieces by throw the chair on it. He call one guard who is just stand outside the room and asks in anger, "Who come here and remove my things?" Guard says, "Sir, mam..told aadi sir to remove everything."
Fisting hand he going to hit it on the wall but stop in middle because sana come in front of him. His olive eyes are bloodshot red while her brown eyes look directly into them, his jaw clenched while her face calm. A clash between his anger and her patience. Gritting teeth he grab her shoulders and asks by pushed her on the wall, "How dare you to touch my things? Who give you the permission to order here?"
She knew this will come, from all this days she somehow manage to divert his mind but now its not easy. And also she have to be ready for his hurtful words, which he always use in anger. Don't know what will happen but she promise herself that not let him go back to that alcohol...... He look her not answering, which made his blood boil more in anger.
He Pulled her close by shoulder, his nails digged inside her which cause pain but she didn't react. "Answer the damn question naaz! Who give you permission?" She look directly into his eyes and says, "You, sidharth shukla give me the permission." He narrowed his brows and says in a loud voice, "What? Are you fucking mad or what? When did i?".
She takes out the black beaded chain from inside her t shirt and says, "This, give me the permission to touch your things. A wife has the equal rights on anything belongs to her husband and i can't let you die by consuming those dangerous drugs everyday." Clenching jaw in anger he again pushed her to the wall and says, "Shut up naaz, just fucking shut up.. Its my life, i can do whatever i want."
"Don't show your fucking care, because i not need it." She nodded in no and says in the same peach of voice, "Its not a fucking care sidharth, the reality which you don't want to believe,...i do care for what's mine. Just like the way you do." He leave her and says, "Oh please! You care about me, nothing can be a big joke than it,.. I am one who destroyed your life and you care for me.. Hhaha.. Wow."
She says by narrowing her brows, "Yes, i do..because i forgive you...i forget whatever you did to me.. Don't i told you that, we can't hold grudges or things and live whole life according to that. Need to forget, forgive and move forward. And if you destroyed my life than also the one who save me." Holding head he punched the wall and says, "Stop your fucking lectures.. Its not easy to forget things...."
Taking a breath she hold him from shoulder and says, "I know that, but at least one needs to try." Sidharth immediately look at her frowning and asks, "Did aadi told you anything?" She gulped her saliva and slapped herself inwardly for spitting out like this, and says, "No he didn't,..is there anything?" He sighs a relief and says by jerk her hands off, "No, and you listen don't interfere in my life and show all your care or whatever."
She collided her brows and says, "You remember what i told in the morning that will repeat whatever you did. So, the time you stop caring about me i will also stop." He close eyes in irritation and yells, "I don't give a damn about you, who said i care about you? I keep you safe just because of aadi, he care for you. Not me...you are nothing to me..put this thing in your mind."
He turn his back to her and throw the other shelf in anger. She look downward but didn't take any of his words seriously this time, now very well know that never ever believe his words in anger and also he don't know how to put proper words.. Maybe if its earlier she get hurt but this time, she will not step back. She love him and now do anything possible for it ...
Taking a breath she smirks and asks, "So, are you sure didn't care about me?" He run fingers on his hair and says without turning back, "Yes, can't you heard in once, now get lost." Smiling she walk forward and asks again, "You didn't give a damn about my pain, hain na?" Biting lips he fisted in anger, and yells, "No..no i didn't...just leave now."
Closing eyes she come just behind him and asks, "If i matters nothing to you then, you'll not even care about my wounds, right?" He rub fingers on his forehead and turns by shouting, "Why you asks one question repeatedl..." But stop in middle, eyes grew bigger in shock look at the blood all over the floor.
Smiling she going to fall on the floor filled with broken glass pieces but he hold her. His stomach crunched to see blood oozing from her bare feets, frowning he pick her up on his arms and move towards the room. Sana smiles and says by looking into his eyes, "You didn't care, right?" She might look mad but know will ready to anything for her love.
He give her a death glare and just walking without saying anything. Needles pierced inside his heart by every drop of blood fall from her feet.
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Let's see what happens next!!
Zakhm jinhe tha dafnaya, saalo pehle
Phir chubh rhe h woh bankar kaante
Ho chahe sehne kitne dard pyar me
Kar liya hai yeh wada khudse
Na chorenge or na hi chutne denge yeh saath.