Hell no. This is not happening right now.
The guys are giving me concerned looks but I can't think about that. My body is shaking with too many emotions at once and my skin is chilled despite how warm it is outside. From longing to desire to surprise to a new kind of grief with the knowledge that my mom was killed.
Oh my god! Did dad know? That's another blow to my system. But surely he doesn't. He can't. He wouldn't hide this big of a secret, would he? Does Susan know? And the king...
"Ava!" someone shouts.
Hearing my name, which I think they might have been saying for a while, I come out of my thoughts. The guys hover around me with each one wearing a different expression on his face. Ryker's is guilty, Ryan's is resigned, and Zeke's is surprised. They should try being me and feeling most of that and more.
"Ava, are you okay?" Ryker asks as he reaches his hand towards me but I back away from him. From all of them. I can't have them touch me right now. I don't want to even think about what we were doing just a few minutes ago. Has it been a few minutes? With a quick check on my phone, I realize it's been over an hour since I left the house.
Shit. How long were we touching? How long have I been standing here in shock? Am I still in shock? No. I'm aware of them standing near, not quite touching me, but it's still like an electrical static pulsing into my space.
Without bothering to look them in the eyes, I reply, "No." What else can I say? I went from being alone to maybe finding my mate – or mates – to finding out my mom was murdered. I don't know what to say or think so I stay quiet. I want to go home, to leave them, to leave what they made me feel and what I just found out about behind. But go home to what - more lies? More hate? Instead, I just tune the guys out again as I stare at nothing. I will my mind to empty. But something nags at me... something I should care about. What was it that Ryker said? I replay his words in my head, shuddering as I do so, and then I clasp hold of it –
Holy fuck! I'm a dragon?
"I'm a dragon?" I sputter. The guys immediately stop talking. They all look tense from everything that's happened. Zeke's arms are folded over his chest and Ryker's hands are fisted at his sides. Ryan's the only one that stands with his arms lose, but his tight shoulder muscles give him away.
They glance at one another until Ryker speaks up. This time he has more of a sheepish expression. "Yes, I found out the night my father reprimanded me for that morning with you. Something he said made me curious, so I waited until he was alone with Charles and eavesdropped. It took a few days, but I finally heard him tell Charles to put something away with the other papers. His words were very odd, not specific, and he is always specific on what he wants. I followed Charles to the library and –"
Ryan interjects with a smirk. "To dad's secret stash of hidden documents?"
Ryker rumbles at him, "Yes. By your smirk, I assume you know about it already?"
"Of course, I do. Dad's been grooming me for years to be like him." His words are cocky to goad his brother.
Ryker lunges at Ryan but Zeke grabs him before he can start a fight. "You fucking knew and didn't think it was important to tell us, to tell Ava, about her mother?"
Ryan shakes his head and explains. "I knew about the hidden stuff, but I'm not allowed to be in there without dad or Charles. The only reason you were never caught is that I doctored the security video the night you sneaked in. I knew you must know something and started following you. I was hoping you would come to me, but you didn't." His voice goes soft with hurt and sadness.
Ryker stops struggling and tells Zeke to let him go. "How could I trust you? You were dad's spy!"
This time Ryan steps into Ryker's space and shoves at him. "Because you should've known I would never hurt Ava damn it!" Zeke tries to get in between them, but we can all tell that their lions are wanting to burst forth to show dominance over the other. They are too angry to be rational.
"ENOUGH!" I bellow. "This is not a time to be arguing about what was said or not said. Ryker don't forget you kept this information from me, the person it affects the most. So, before you cast blame, remember you should have told me instead of leaving."
He pounds his fists against his thighs in anger and frustration. "I left because I didn't know what to do. I had no power, not really. I didn't know what my dad had to do with your mom, and still don't. I don't trust him, but I guess there's no reason for him to kill her. I just know he covered it up to look like a car accident. He might've worried about the dragons attacking us."
My head pounds as yet more information is given to me without warning. "What dragons? I thought they were extinct. That all the shifters banded together to eradicate the dragons because of their power over us." This is what everyone has been taught since grade school. Why would they lie? I scrub my hands over my eyes and face trying to release the tension as Ryan picks up where Ryker left off.
"Not exactly. From what dad has told us, they are hiding. Among us even. But they can hide their scent, most likely as your mom did. We, Ryker and I, have this knowledge because all high-ranking members of their shifter group are taught about it when they turn eighteen, graduated or not."
"Holy shit," Zeke utters. His eyes are as wide as mine feel. "Do you know what this means for shifters, for us, for Ava?" He runs his hands through his hair and closes his eyes. "We are so screwed, aren't we?"
I'm done. I'm out. I can't handle any more information today. My brain is overloaded with knowledge and my body is overwhelmed with what it feels. I need to retreat and escape to my tree, dad being pissed be damned. My expression must give me away because Ryan's eyes narrow.
"Ava..." Ryan starts but I stop him with a head shake.
"No. I'm leaving. Don't bother to follow me. I need away from this, and all of you. Too much has happened since Ryker returned, especially this afternoon."
"You could be in danger. At least let one of us come with you," Ryker tries.
"No." My voice is sharp with anger, anxiety, sadness, and bitterness. "No. None of you get to make decisions for me anymore. I trusted you. All of you. It all feels like one big lie, even if it's deception by omission. I'll be fine. Dad's scouts will find me soon enough and will protect me."
"What if you need protecting from him?" Zeke asks.
I laugh bitterly. "You really think he'll hurt me? No, he's had plenty of time to do it. Just let me go."
The guys want to protest more but a quick no from Ryker stops them. I give them each one last glance full of the many emotions I feel before running off. I have to figure out what happens next, with or without the guys, because the last three years have taught me one thing – rely on yourself and no one else, even if they promise to love you.
*****
Hours later I return home feeling calmer but still in shock from being bombarded with all the information Ryker threw at me. Luckily, avoiding the others goes smoothly and I retreat to my room without having to interact with anyone.
After taking a quick, hot shower a nap sounds wonderful. Just as I'm dozing off to sleep, the phone buzzes and scares the bejeezus out of me because I'd already forgotten about it. Seeing the S pop makes me laugh a little though because I'd forgotten I named him that.
S: Are you okay?
Me: What do you think?
S: Sorry about today. It didn't go as planned.
Me: How did you think it would go?
If I could insert sarcasm into a text right now it would so be happening. Hum...
Me: *inserts* eye roll
S: You never answered my question...
Honesty or avoidance? Whatever is told to him will probably be told to the others.
Me: Are you going to tell the others?
S. Do you want me to?
Me: Idk.
S: I won't if you don't want me to, but they need to know. They are part of it.
He has the answers I need but getting caught... would be the worst thing any of us could do at this point.
Me: Is this phone safe to use?
S: Yes, it's encoded and a burner phone. No one should have access to it unless they look really hard and they need a very skilled hacker at that.
Me: How about a little give and take?
S: I always want to give to you. I never meant to take, Hummingbird.
My heart swells with emotion but it needs to stay focused and on par with my head. Getting distracted by my feelings will not help me right now.
Me: You give me some information and I'll let you know how I feel.
S: What do you want to know? I've told you everything.
Me: Not the finer details. How did you find out, exactly, about my mom, shifting, me having more than one mate – all of it!
S: I'd rather tell you in person.
I vehemently shake my head no, but remember he can't see it.
Me: NO. I need to know now!
S: Fine.
I can almost hear him sigh on the other end of the phone.
S: I knew your mom was a dragon and I needed more information. So, I used what happened three years ago to leave and find it without arousing dad's suspicions.
Me: Where did you go?
S: All over. First to some of the larger Prides, then other shifter groups. But everyone is too afraid of dad's wrath to give anything away. It was the smaller groups that offered something no one else had – secrets.
Me: What kind of secrets?
S: That dragons still lived.
Me: Do you mean me?
S: Yes, but not exactly. That whole communities exist but they live in plain sight without no one the wiser. That they live among us, like your mom. Now, like you.
Me: But how do they hide? How will I?
S: They hide in fear with the knowledge that if someone finds out it will mean death. Are you scared? We will protect you.
With an eye roll, I wonder why most men think the phrase "we will protect you" actually means they can. How do the guys plan to protect me from the king? From all other shifters? It's not feasible unless the hidden dragon communities, and other shifters, are willing to stand up for people like me. Worrying about the large scale problem won't fix my immediate problem - hiding who I am when I shift.
Me: Yes, I'm scared. How will I hide that I'm a dragon when I shift?
S: You may shift into a lion. But on your birthday, or close enough to it, we should know because I have a feeling that you will shift into a dragon. Dragons shift earlier than other shifters. You'll need to be with me. With all of us.
Me. Why?
S: For safety. Their early shift is another reason non-dragon shifters eradicated them or tried to. Also, it's to help you transition into whichever form you shift into. If you're a lion, that's easier. If you're a dragon you might be scared at first and not recognize us as mates.
Me: How do you know all this?
S. I found a dragon. One of the smaller beds of sloths told me.
Me: Damn. You went to South America?
S: Brazil. They had a fire dragon among them. She talked to me because you were my mate.
Me: How did she know? You just told her and she believed you?
He doesn't answer. Text bubbles pop up like he's typing, then they disappear again.
Me: You there?
No answer. No bubbles. It's been five minutes.
Me: Where did you go? You okay?
He's starting to worry me by not answering. Ten minutes and nothing. Did he get caught? Suddenly the phone dings signaling he's finally responded. Glancing down, I almost drop the phone when I read what he sent.
It's an image of a tattoo in the middle of his back about five inches in circumference. It's a dark, golden brown lion claw with a golden crown sitting on top. The crown has such intricate detail on it I don't think it's real at first. The crown is made of ivy filigree with the light green colored Bells of Ireland flowers woven into it. In the center of those flowers are oval-shaped, dark jade jewels. Along the top side of the crown, every few centimeters, are filigree shaped triangles, making it look even more majestic.
S: You there?
Me: ...
S: What do the dots mean?
Me: It means I'm speechless. What the hell is that? Does your dad know? When did you get it? Do the guys know?
S: LMAO. Slow down. No, he doesn't know. I keep it hidden. The guys know after tonight. I had to warn them.
I feel like I should know this answer but it's alluding me.
Me: Warn them?
S: I got this three years ago. After we kissed.
Me: Why? You didn't know I was a dragon.
S: It SHOWED up on my back after we kissed. I woke up with searing, burning pain and rushed into the bathroom. I slammed the door which is what woke Crystal up. But I hid it before she or anyone else could see it and left.
Me: HOLY SHIT! You think I somehow marked you? I've never heard of this happening before.
S: It happens to dragons. It's why the dragon believed me.
Me: What's with the ivy? And crown?
S: She thinks it resembles your heritage, but she wouldn't say why.
Me: That's odd. So, you think the guys will get the tattoo also?
S: Yes, she said all of your mates will. But they will differ slightly.
Me: Why do I have more than one mate? Because I'm a dragon? Why am I not mated to a dragon?
S: She thinks it's because you imprinted on us when we were younger. Dragons are stronger than other shifters in many ways, but one reason is that they can mate with all shifters, not just of their kind. She also told me one of the reasons dragons had to go into hiding is because it's harder for them to breed, even between mates. When the other shifters rose up against them, they didn't have dragons to overpower the revolt.
Me: Well shit. Will I have other mates?
No answer. What the hell is with not answering me this time? Call me paranoid, but I have a feeling he thinks I'll be upset with the answer.
S: IDK.
Me: What do you mean IDK? I didn't expect three mates as it is. I sure as hell don't want anymore.
S: She told me you having more than two mates is unusual but not unheard of and it would be rarer for you to have more with already having three. But dragons mate with the people they need most.
I bang my head on my pillow a few times. Fuck me. This means the guys are supposed to be mine, but that I might also get more mates. I'm elated and aggravated at the same time. I never thought I'd be allowed to mate, even moving Prides. I damn well never thought I get to keep the guys, especially as mates.
The next few days I have to consider how I'm going to let the guys back into my life. According to Ryker, they're here to stay. The intense, almost make out session proves that my body knows what my heart and head are trying to avoid. Hopefully, I'll figure it out by the next time we get together again.
Feeling overwhelmed and needing time to myself I text back a goodnight.
S: I want to see you soon.
Me: My birthday is in a few days and I'll meet you in the spot again the night before.
There's a long pause before he answers back.
S: That's a long time, but I'll wait. I'll come to get you.
Me: No. I'll be fine. I'll meet you about an hour before midnight. That should give us time in case something happens.
S: I don't like this idea.
Me: Too bad. Night Simba.
I shut off the phone before he can answer. Let him wonder and stew about the name.