Vincent and I were alone. Staring at each other. His hands were folded together under his nose. Every time he breathed, the hairs on his knuckles moved. It'd been five minutes since their meeting ended. Neither of us had acknowledged any of the voices downstairs though. This was more important to me than anything else at the moment.
Vincent let his hands fall to his sides. Following, was a short sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back on the edge of his desk, which he was seated on. When he removed his hands from his face, he looked straight at me again.
"I owe you an apology," he started, "for suspecting you . . . mistreating you . . . and doubting you." He inhaled a soft breath in between each sentence. I sat quietly, waiting for him to finish.
He continued, "I don't intend on falling back on my word. Which means we won't go back on the promise we made with you. We'll uphold our end of the bargain and fulfill the deal we made. As my father said, it's only right that we repay you for the trouble we've caused."
"Do you regret everything?" I blurted. My leg wouldn't stop bouncing.
My sudden outburst caused his eyebrows to shoot up. He crossed his arms, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. His eyebrows eventually lowered. They lowered until they were latched together. He thought about my comment for a few seconds.
After thinking carefully, he said, "I'd be a liar if I said I did."
My stomach quenched. "You don't regret everything?"
"I regret wrongly directing all of my anger and stress towards you. Regret being unforgiving. Especially now that I know for sure you weren't feigning innocence. And for that, I need to make things right. But if you're asking me if I regret everything, including my feelings. . .
"Then, I don't. All of my emotions, my reactions, and my actions were genuine, and have always been genuine concerning this very situation. So, I can't regret the feelings that I hold about his death. No matter who it should be aimed at." His voice didn't waver one bit.
I took a deep breath, nodding my head slowly. "That's fair enough."
"However, again, that doesn't mean you deserved any of my anger. So again, I'm sorry. I'm sure my apologies mean nothing," he kept going, "after all, it can't make up for everything I've done and said to you. It's not like you're obligated to forgive me anyways. And you shouldn't."
I pressed my thumb to my bottom lip, chewing on the skin inside my mouth. "Now do you believe me? About the shadows and everything else?"
He gave me a nod. "I'd be a fool not to."
We sat there for a minute. Vincent's face sunk into solemn, as if he was lost in a daze, thinking hard. I noticed his eyes drifting to Amaury's photo on the desk. They drifted once, then twice. Every time they did, the solemn on his face grew heavier and heavier. His shoulders were slumped too. I observed in silence. It didn't take long to figure out what was bugging him.
He tilted his head back. His gaze was set on the ceiling above us. His hands were clutching onto the edge of the desk. The rest of his body was as still as stone. I followed his gaze up and let out a quiet sigh.
"For what it's worth, what happened between Amaury and I shouldn't change your views on him. I know he didn't bite me with malicious intent. . . He stayed true to his morals to the end." I fixed myself in my chair, hugging my knees to my chest. "The thing I saw took control. He wasn't himself. I witnessed him changing. There was no saving him. I should know. . . I tried."
I had to stop myself before I said more. Now wasn't the time to bring up my communication with his dead brother. However, I still wasn't sure when the right time was. Would it have been okay to tell him now? Even if Amaury and I were still investigating? Amaury told me to wait until we had a better understanding of these things and I gained Vincent's trust.
But now that the truth was out, I didn't think I'd need to hide what I knew anymore. All of Calamitous would soon know about the existing threat. I guess keeping Amaury and I's contact a secret made sense in a way or whatever. Vincent would have probably thought I was making everything up in the beginning. Including talking to Amaury.
Now that I thought about it, it was no wonder Amaury said those things. If I'd have told Vincent about my talk with him, it would have all looked like nonsense. Amaury could barely convey what happened that night to me. If I tried to convey that little bit of what I'd learned from him, to them, I'd have seemed like a liar making up stories. It wasn't enough information.
"Hmm, I know. I guess that's true. I'm just . . . trying to understand," Vincent said.
"Trust me, you're not alone there," I assured him.
We both lowered our heads again, eye-level with each other.
"You know, that wasn't as fun as I thought it'd be. . ." I murmured in disappointment.
"What do you mean?" he questioned with a frown.
"I don't know. . . I thought getting an apology out of you would be more of a challenge."
"A challenge, huh? What good is an alpha if he doesn't accept and admit his faults?" Vincent shrugged.
"Sure, but sheesh, you made that so easy, my response doesn't need to be as demanding as I planned it to be. Do you know how long I sat here and over-thought this? I thought I'd have to pry it out of you. Make you feel sorry or something!
"I mean, how am I supposed to be firm with you when you already took accountability!? Well actually, I'm happy you did but now I can't criticize your apology. You were so blunt and sincere! I was looking forward to watching you squirm a little at least."
My rant ended with a huff and my arms crossed. I couldn't begin to understand my own annoyance. I heard a soft noise fall from Vincent's chest. When I tilted my head to get a better look, I noticed he had snickered. It was short and quick, but it was audible.
"You can still scream at me. Go ahead. Curse me out. Do whatever you'd like. Take out your frustrations. I won't stop you," he encouraged.
I thought about it for a second. His offer was tempting. So damn tempting. But I couldn't convince myself to go through with it. If there was one thing I'd learned about myself growing up, it was that I had too much empathy to spare.
I forgave, but never forgot. It was both a curse and a blessing not being able to hurt others the way they'd hurt me. But knowing they felt pain and guilt—that had always been what gave me an emotional rush—because it was a feeling they couldn't escape that they'd think about forever. It was what made me able to move on.
"No . . . I can't. That won't make me feel any better about any of this. I'm just happy I got the words out of you." I sighed. "And as long as you feel sorry whenever you look at me . . . that's good enough." He must've felt the sincerity to my words because his eyes softened.
"I will," he muttered.
I hated that. The way he was looking at me. Like he actually felt bad. Sure, I wanted him to feel sorry. I wanted him to reflect and show me he was. But his face. Damn, his face. It did things. All kinds of emotions bubbled within me that I didn't want brought to life. And it was all because of his stupid apology and his stupid apologetic expression. I needed to be pissed. I needed to show him I was pissed.
I shot up from my chair, waving my finger at him. "Don't look at me like that! None of that means I'll forget about this any time soon. You're forgiven but you'll have to work to pay off this debt. You'd better be lucky I don't hold grudges because your ass would be grass right now! Do you get me? Grass, mister. I want a year's worth of snacks. No, I want a life-time of snacks!"
"Snacks?" he quoted to himself, his face scrunched.
"Yeah! All kinds of sweets. Chocolate for my emotional distress. Not the cheap ones either! Some Godiva. And Lindor. And oh! Ferrero! Yeah, all of that. And some other treats for my physical distress." I puffed up my cheeks like a blow fish and threw my hands in the air. "Okay, I might be exaggerating here. But still. You've also got to finish helping me with my job hunting! I'm sure your wicked charm can come in handy for my benefit."
"Wicked charm?" His face only scrunched more.
"I'm going to write a list! When I think of some more, I'll hand it over, okay? You got me?"
He stared at me wide-eyed. He blinked once. He blinked twice. His lips started to curve. I thought he'd frown. But no. It was the complete opposite. He smiled. No, I could've sworn he was grinning. A full-blown, fully fleshed out grin sitting on Vincent's face. Then, I heard a sound bellow out from his chest. He bent over and dry-heaved. I stiffened.
Was he doing what I thought he was doing? He was laughing. That was genuine laughter. I'd never heard him genuinely laugh before. It had my full attention.
"You're laughing. . ." I stared at him in shock. His laughter continued. Louder and louder. I opened my mouth, but I still hadn't processed the sight before me. So, I closed it to avoid looking like a babbling idiot. When his laughter quieted down, I slapped both my cheeks with my hands. It hurt but it snapped me out of my strange trance.
"What? What is it? What the hell are you laughing at?" I demanded.
"Nothing, I just . . . continue." His smile sat on his face. "I'm listening. Are you done?"
"I-I. . ." I couldn't form words. It was nearly impossible after hearing him laugh, then seeing him smile. It suited him well. "Um, yeah. I'm finished," I mumbled, averting my gaze.
"Okay. . . Don't forget that list." He straightened himself.
I wasn't sure if I was imagining things or not. One minute he was smiling, the next minute he wasn't anymore. It slowly faded into absence. I shivered at the chills in the air. It felt as though the atmosphere changed again. What the hell? Did he put his guard back up again? Whatever I'd just witnessed was locked away by the stoic disguise he was catering to. My brain was confused.
Shit. Once again, I'd lost sight of the fact I was supposed to be angry too. I raised my fist to my mouth, clearing the confusion from my throat before I spoke, "Well, I suppose I'm not fully off the hook yet. I won't leave without upholding my end of the bargain as well."
"What?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"Proving to you the shadows exist was only the first step in the process. I promised you all I would figure out who the dagger belonged to and find my laptop, didn't I? My laptop is still M.I.A.," I said, a wicked smile spreading across my lips, "and the dagger is the only key to finding out which one of these fuckers tried to frame me. I don't want to miss out on that."
When I caught the strange glint in his eyes, as he surveyed me, I smirked. "Did you think you were the only one who doesn't like going back on their promises? All this means is you're not allowed to treat me like an enemy anymore. But you've got to swear on it!"
"Um, what do you want me to do with this?" He frowned at my pinky finger lifting in front of his face and examined it closely.
"You're supposed to wrap your pinky around mine. Look, I'll show you. This is how you keep a promise to ensure you won't go back on it where I'm from." When I noticed he wasn't moving, I inched my pinky finger closer, almost nudging his face. I rolled my eyes and cuffed our pinky fingers together. He tensed at first, but his shoulders slouched again.
"Geez, I'm not going to hurt you. See?" I smiled.
"Oh," he replied. "You could've just taken my word for it."
"Giving your word and taking people's word is your thing. But my thing will always be pinky finger promises. Think of it as a way of reassurance. For me, that is."
"Oh," he said again, "okay then."
"By the way, what is up with you and thinking I'm going to hurt you all the time? Don't you think I'd have tried to do it already from the start?" I mumbled.
I figured alphas would always be on the alert. It was their job to protect. And wolves were naturally protective, instinctive animals who reacted on impulse. However, Vincent was on the offensive all the time. Specifically, around me. It wasn't as bad as it was before. But still.
"We can head back downstairs now. I've got a few announcements to make and a few things to clear up. We'll continue this discussion later to figure out the rest of the details." Vincent avoided my question and stood. It was hard to contain the growl that slipped out of me as I watched him leave the room.
Dammit, he seriously wasn't going to answer my question. I stomped down the stairs behind Vincent, my arms folded over one another. I was sure he could feel my rage easing off of me. But he chose to ignore it. If I was bold enough, I'd have kicked him. Right in the butt. One good kick for ignoring me. But that wasn't worth losing my life.
"Thank you for having us, Vincent. We'll keep in touch if anything." I heard Alpha Kai say as I made it to the last step.
"Of course, Kai. You know the wolves of Lichen are welcome any time. We hope to hear from you again soon. We wish you a safe trip back to PA."
Alpha Kai nodded. "Thank you. Same to the wolves of Calamitous. Farewell. Until next time."
Vincent jumped in front of Alpha Kai and said, "allow me." He walked Alpha Kai to the door with his men. Bennett and Claudia accompanied him, at his side. I had noticed a few of them, mostly his Beta Odin, looking back at me. The curiosity was all over his face.
While they walked away, I took a minute to lose myself in thought. There were over a million of them running through my head. But the one that was the loudest was, I wasn't under suspicion anymore. And it was the best I felt in a while, thinking about it.