This is a bonus chapter called How to Help. Yes, donating money to those helpful websites is excellent to help and the same thing as sharing someone every chapter of my life. This chapter is going to be different with a bit of me and my idol. If you are wondering how to help someone differently, then this chapter is perfect for you. I'm going to present you with Bobby, a fictional character. (No, I do not know anyone's name, Bobby. If your name is Bobby, this story is not about you nor about someone you know that their name is Bobby. If you have a pet name Bobby, this is also not a story of your pet).
Now, let's say Bobby is a happy person and we are all friends with him. He always likes to help people smile on his face, and he always makes sure everyone is comfortable around him. Let's say that one day we saw Bobby feeling sad a bit, but he quickly turns to a smiley face so that everyone is happy around him. We know something is wrong, so we approach him and ask him why he is sad. He secretly replies that his grandfather just passed away. Now, I know what you are thinking. He is allowed to feel sad about his grandpa's death, but we try to cheer him up by reminding him of his grandfather's great memories. The next day, he saw him feel sad. Again, it is okay to feel sad, and we let him be. His sadness continues every day until we start seeing him not being able to eat appropriately nor sleeping well. You may think how someone can feel sad about their grandfather's death has returned into physical and mental sickness. Well, we do not know if Bobby has been collecting a bunch of sadness throughout his life (like I did), nor we know if he was pretty close to his grandfather. So, we decide to help him, but how.
Should we ask him if he wants help? That is not a bad idea, to be honest, but let's say we helped him anyways. We start looking for a professional psychologist or psychiatrist (both are two different professionals, but to make this story a little bit short, we look for a psychologist). We start searching on the beautiful thing called the internet to a psychologist near us until we found one. How can we bring Bobby to see the psychologist? Forcing him? No, never do that because I will explain that later. Let's say we know where Bobby lives, and we surprise him by texting him that we are outside of his place. Let's say that he approaches our vehicle and asks us what we are doing, and we tell him that we want to take him to a party. Now, we know we are not going to take him to a party, we are actually taking him to a psychologist, but if we say we are taking him a psychologist, he probably will not come to us, so we lie to him a bit about it. Now, Bobby is inside our car. He is feeling excited about this party that we are going to until he sees that we are approaching a psychology center and not a party. He probably will feel strange, betrayed, and worried, but that is okay. Should we drop him off at the psychology center and then pick him up an hour after his appointment ends without coming with him nor giving him an explanation? Why are we there? No, because he felt scared to go in and worried too, and to be honest, when we feel worried or scares to do something new, we would like someone to come with us to feel less scared.
We go inside this psychology center with him until we let him talk to a psychologist privately. While we are walking with Bobby inside the building, we tell him that we are here to help him, and if he does not like that particular psychologist, we will look for someone new. While we wait for his appointment to finishing, we remain in the waiting area until he comes out. Then, we start asking how that went without crossing any boundaries. If he wants to share it, he will share it, but if he does not say anything, then let him be. Then, we ask him when is the next appointment and tell us it is tomorrow. So, we come back to his place to pick him up, take him to his appointment again, and wait for his appointment to be finished in the waiting area. If we are busy with our lives that we cannot take him to see the psychologist, we ask his family or other friends to do it for us. Let's say Bobby does not have that kind of health insurance to pay for his appointment, but we still want to help him. For the sake of the story, let's say that each one of his friends collected money to pay for his appointment and take turns to help him get there on time. Why not let Bobby pay for his appointment or bring himself to the psychology center because he probably does not want to pay money to someone to help him. I mean, he did not want anyone to help him from the beginning of the story. Eventually, he would probably pay for his appointment and drive there by himself, but that will take time. So, we all do this to remind him that he is not alone.
If we continue doing this to Bobby, he probably one day will thank us for doing it, but that will take time, and do not, I repeat, do not force him to thank us. Let's say this story he ended up continuing living his beautiful life and thank us for help him. I told this story is similar to mine and Zach's, but I will explain it later with the Zach story. Did I want to go to the college health center or go to an emergency center? No, because I was feeling scared and worried too and my boss knew it, he went with me, and the same thing goes to the college policeman taking me to an emergency center in an ambulance. Did these two people ask me if I wanted to get help? No, because I probably would not want to get help. These two people were smart enough to take me there with them, so I do not feel too scared about trying something new in my life for my sake. The same thing goes with my friends from church that introduce me to a suicide helpline. Did you think they just gave me the number and told me to use it anytime I needed it without trying it with them? I wish it were that simple. We probably spent about an hour or so (to be honest, I do not remember exactly how long it went) to call the helpline to see if it would help me. Did these friends know that the helpline would help? No, they were just curious as I was too and wanted, of course, to help me. I'm glad they introduced me to that helpline because I indeed needed it and used it every time, I feel like I needed to. I want to ask you not to judge my other friends or family for not helping me because I did not let them. If we forced Bobby or me to get helped, Bobby or I would never speak to someone about our sadness or depression ever again, making it a lot worse than it already is.
I know what you are thinking about how Zach's story is similar to Bobby's. I know Zach did not have depression-like Bobby or mine, but did you believe Zach had an easy life with cancer? I wish it were that simple too. You see, throughout the movie, it shows Zach's difficultness with cancer. When he found out that his life was terminal, he wanted to know how long he had. Multiple times realized he probably would never experience high school graduation nor college experience, nor experiencing having a family with his girlfriend. He wanted his suffering to end as soon as possible like I wanted to when I had depression, but with his friends and family's help, they tried to help him off thinking that way by continuing being with him as much as possible. When Zach wanted to raise awareness about the experience he had with cancer, he wanted everyone to know that having cancer is not easy. This goes the same thing with depression or any illness, to be honest. You may think the movie 'Clouds' is an inspirational movie, and you are not wrong for thinking that, but the film is much more than an inspiration movie. The movie was also about raining awareness, how to help someone with any kind of illness, either mental or physical, and how to help our loved ones too. This movie inspired me and helped me raise other types of awareness and help someone who needs help. This book of stories of my life can be an inspiration too, but it's also about raising awareness of multiple things that helped me or taught me. Sincerely, I just wanted to continue what Zach left off. I know his movie is a continuation of where he stopped, but I know he wants his inspiration to continue differently. I'm glad I decided to help his motivation continue throughout the world, and I hope all of us continue helping his incredible work to inspire other people. Now, let's go back to the story. I know there are different kinds of depression, but I just wanted to share my experience with it and Bobby's, too, so we can learn how to help someone with it. You see, the movie taught me how to teach someone about someone else's struggles. We all have struggles in our lives, and let's all remind our friends, family, and love ones that they do not have to be alone living with those struggles, just like Zach and I had friends and family helping us. I promise you that I will continue writing about my life when I get inspired again. I do not know when that will happen, but I promise you that I will not wait until the next twenty-five years of my life passes to write about it. Thank you for reading all my chapters, and I will see you soon. Please have a wonderful life, and let's all help everyone as much as we can without forcing them.
Here are the three private letters to Zach's friends and family and a bonus letter too:
Dear Zach's parents,
I'm thanking you for raising an incredible, amazing, inspirational son, helping him raise awareness and continuing his astonishing movement, and supporting him every time he needs it.
I'm very optimistic he is happy up in the clouds and waiting patiently for you guys to get there.
Never forget Zach is in your hearts,' and he will always be there for you everywhere you go to help you through your difficulties and achievements in everyday life.
Laura, thank you for writing an incredible memoir book of your amazing son. The book has helped me see the beauty of friendship through Zach's family and friends' support. Your book reminded me of the company I have from my family and friends throughout my life, too, and I appreciate you for that. Your book has inspired me to write better stories, and I will always appreciate it. I hope people read your book to help them as well, like how it helped me.
Always continue supporting each other.
Sincerely,
Daniel Soto (one of Zach's admirer)
Dear Zach's siblings,
Thank you for helping his movement, thank you for helping him have some beautiful memories with him, and thank you for supporting him every time he needs it.
I'm pretty sure he will never forget about that nor forget about you guys.
I'm also confident he is waiting patiently for you guys to be up in the clouds with him.
Also, never forget Zach is in your hearts,' and he will always be there for you everywhere you go to help you through your difficulties and accomplishments in everyday life.
Always continue supporting each other.
Truly,
Daniel Soto (one of Zach's admirer)
Dear Zach's close friends,
Thank you for being his friends, thank you for continuing his movement, thank you for helping him make a fantastic music record, and thank you for supporting him every time he needs it.
Lastly, I know he will never forget the great memories that you guys had with him.
He will never forget that nor forget about you guys.
Again, never forget Zach is in your hearts,' and he will always be there for you everywhere you go to help you through your difficulties and accomplishments in everyday life.
Always continue supporting each other.
Genuinely,
Daniel Soto (one of Zach's admirer)
Dear director, movie productions, actors and actresses, and everyone else that was part of the movie 'Clouds,'
Thank you for creating a unique, fantastic, and inspiring movie. Without you, I will probably never heard of Zach's movement nor his life, and probably I would not have made this autobiography.
Thank you for helping Zach by producing an incredible movie of Zach's life. Without your help on Zach's life, my life probably would not be better.
Lastly, thank you for supporting Zach's family and his friends throughout the set and being friends with them too.
I know Zach is very thankful and proud of you all.
I hope you all make more inspirational movies.
Sincerely,
Daniel Soto (one of Zach's admirer)
Lastly, here is a YouTube video of Justin Baldoni explaining the promise he made to Zach:
So thank you, Justin, for keeping your promise to him by making his movie.
Here is also two videos of Zach Sobiech and his last live performance with the 4onthefloor band:
And