Cook walked me back to my house after my dad's phone call, and I spent the whole way back trying to sober up, and waiting for the admonishment I knew was going to come.
Cook stopped outside my gate, and I smiled at him and said, "Well, thanks, Cook, see you tomorrow."
I turned away, and he pulled me back towards him.
"Uh uh, do it properly," he said gruffly.
I rolled my eyes jokingly, and said, "Whatever are you talking about?"
"I liked it, before," he said.
I was genuinely confused now.
"What?" I said.
"Don't call me Cook," he said. "And that's not a proper goodbye."
I smiled.
He didn't like that, huh?
"Well, that's all you'll get," I said, and walked in my gate before he could stop me. I turned around at my door, seeing him watching me.
"Bye, James," I said, before opening my door and slipping in quietly, not waiting for his reaction. I stood with my back pressed against the door, smiling.
I heard him shout outside the door, and start to sing, "I was born into a country, baptized to a religion..."
Oh my god.
I love James Cook.
My smile slipped from my face as I realized: he didn't love me back.
He couldn't, could he? He doesn't date, he only fucks. He only dated Effy. He's only loved her. He cares about me, though. Doesn't he? Or is it a game? How can I-
My train of thought is interrupted when I notice my dad sitting in the living room on the sofa, watching me.
"Vivian, you're home," he said, taking a sip of whiskey from a glass, then placing it down on the table in front of him.
"Dad," I said cautiously.
He stood up and sighed.
"Vivian, where were you?" he asked.
"Just out with friends," I said, avoiding his gaze.
"Yes? Out drinking, and smoking, with boys?" he said.
"Yeah, so? Dad, literally?" I say. "You left me and Mum, and Bea, and now you waltz back in to my life, and you tell me what to do?"
"You can't talk to me that way, young lady," he said.
"Since when? You've never been around for me to talk to! Fuck off, Dad," I said, and stomped up the stairs.
He shouted up the stairs after me, "You're grounded! Only school, and then home."
I flipped him off, and went to my room and slammed the door.
Fuck him. He just has to be here to take care of Bea and Mum. I don't need him to take care of me.
The next morning I woke up and got ready for school, and I came downstairs to see Bea in a high chair, and Dad eating breakfast at the table.
"Good morning," I said sullenly.
"Good morning," he said, looking up at me. "Vivian, we need to talk. Why don't you have a seat."
I rolled my eyes and sat down, resting my arms on the table.
"So, your mum is in the hospital, and after she gets better, I'm checking her into rehab," he said.
I nodded silently.
"I'm going to be staying here, while she's there, and while I am, you're going to be listening to me."
I nodded again.
"Anything else?" I asked sarcastically.
"No, that's it," he said, missing my sarcasm.
"Alrite," I said, and got up to leave.
Before I closed the door, he said, "And one more thing, you're grounded."
"Literally?" I said, turning around.
"Literally," he said, mocking me.
I rolled my eyes, and slammed the door behind me. I walked to school, and made it to form in time. Kiernan was asleep at his his desk, his feet up as I walked in. Effy and Freddie were making out, and I waved at her.
"Ok," I said, walking past them and sliding in next to Katie.
I sighed, and put my head down on my desk.
"What's wrong, babes," Katie said, reapplying her lip gloss and smacking her lips together.
I turned my head towards her, still with my head on the desk.
"My dad came back, and I came back drunk, and he grounded me. Grounded me."
"Ouch, that sucks babes," she said, finishing up, then turning to look at me.
"So, whatachu gonna do about it?" she said.
"Nothing, I guess," I said, pouting. "He needs to be here to take care of my sister and my mum, and I guess me. Sort of."
"So, don't complain," she said.
"Thanks Kate," I said sarcastically. "Ugh."
I felt an arm around me, and a voice saying, "What's wrong, princess?"
"James, fuck off," I groaned.
I heard him crouch next to the table, and he put a hand on my arm.
"Come on, babes, tell me."
I turned my head on the desk to look at him, and he grinned that cheeky Cookie smile. I couldn't help it; I smiled.
"Hey, hey, there it is!" he crowed, raising his hands up and standing up.
I sat up and shook my head, chuckling.
"So, princess, what's wrong?" he said more softly.
"My dad's back," I said. "And I'm grounded."
"Grounded?" he said. "Well, that's not that fucking bad."
"What?" I said. "It's bad. I thought you, of all people, would be more concerned."
I traced my finger down his arm, pouting and fluttering my eyes lashes at him exaggeratedly.
He smirked, and leaned closer to me, and my eyes unconsciously flickered to his lips. He noticed, which made him smirk even more, and he looked even smugger.
"Don't worry, Vi, Cookie'll figure it out."
I turned my head away from him, and he walked away crowing, to go talk to JJ.
By the end of the day, I really needed a smoke. And a drink. And god knows what else.
I waved goodbye to my friends outside Roundview, and headed back home. When I walking in the door, my dad was sitting at the kitchen table, headphones in, talking furiously with someone on the other line. I smiled hello at him, and went to the cabinet above the fridge, opening it, and retrieved the bottle of vodka I hadn't thrown out when I went through Mum's alcohol.
Flicking the lid off, I took a long swig, feeling the liquor burn its way down to my stomach.
I heard my dad say, "Hey, hey, Robert, hold on, hold on one second," and then put the phone down.
"Vivian, what is that, is that vodka? Vivian, you can't drink, or smoke. That's part of why I grounded you."
"Fine," I said with distain, putting the bottle back where I had found it and going upstairs to my room. I kicked off my shoes, and slumped down on my bed. Searching around for my headphones on the bed, I plugged them into my iPod, hit shuffle, and tried not to think or feel for the next few hours.
I must have fallen asleep, because by the time I woke up, it was dark. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, forgetting I had eye makeup now.
"Ahh, fuck," I said, then I heard a thud on my window.
"What the fuck," I murmured to myself.
Then another, and another, until I stood up and walked over to my window that faced the alleyway that led into my backyard. I opened the window, and there stood Cook, looking up at me.
"Hello, princess."
this was too good not to share. hope you enjoy!
-fie