it suddenly occurred to me that I was falling, drowning,
so deeply and quickly and I was blinded by your love
༻𖥸༺
IT WAS DURING THOSE MONTHS OF courting that Lucille had an epiphany about her current reality一 she was being courted by a prince (a cute one at that) and she was enjoying herself.
This dance that they were having, the subtle gestures between boy and girl, it blinded her and she realises, that these were the best months of her life.
It was clear that Claude had never truly been in love; he was so unsure of himself in his interactions with her, so awkward and unlike his usual confident self, second guessing his actions and if his intent was being conveyed correctly.
Lucille came to learn that Claude wasn't much for small talk, but he engaged in their daily banter like it was second nature, muscle memory; he preferred to show his affection rather than express it because he was holding the belief that no words could bequeath how great his feelings for her were.
She was oh so blind, so obviously smitten that it hurt. It was as if she were a starved man who saw food for the first time in weeks一 she couldn't get enough of his presence.
She was addicted to the feelings that her prince evoked within her heart.
And her heart, traitorous as it were, gave away her flustered thoughts whenever he gave one of those rare hugs (so warmprotectiveencompassing). And then he would give her a soft smile and she could swear she became putty in his hands.
Lucille was prideful, but she was not so naïve as to not see when to swallow it and suck it up. Though, when it came to Claude, she couldn't help but fell her every pore vibrating with pride.
She was being courted by him. She was the object of his affections. She kept him coming back.
And she loved him. Although she had yet to speak the three final words out loud, she could admit it, but only to herself.
Those months blinded her. His love blinded her. She became unaware of anything but him.
Lucille would go as far as to say that she failed to see the signs, lost as she were in a sea of love and thoughts of the future.
She did not see the pain that the new emperor caused upon the people that lived around her. She did not see the more morally upstanding nobles persecuted for their beliefs, all but her, for she was the love of the emperor's younger brother.
But then her eyes were pried open. And she didn't like what she was seeing.
And now she contemplates the past, hands lovingly resting over her swelling womb as her eyes gaze upon the crown that stands before her, as if to mock her existence and that which grows within her.
As much as she loves the people of Obelia and the standards that she holds herself to, Lucille can't help but feel apathy settling into herself.
There are times that she wishes she remained blind to all but him.
✂------------------------------------------
a little something that came to me in these sparce weeks, because, truly, my creative well has been kind of dry.
anyway, happy valentines day.
i hope you're spending it with your significant other, but if you're currently attacking a container of chocolate ice-cream and watching netflix (which is a totally valid lifestyle, i don't judge), then treat yourself and have fun.
the world's your oyster, or however that saying goes.
i truly hope inspiration will strike again, because aftrer my exams i've been pretty down, like coming off from a sugar high and needing some rehab, that kind of depression.
i really nead to get another bout of energy before spring hits because i've been in this crappy mood for about 2 weeks now.
love y'all 💖