Slamming the car door with more force than necessary, I ignored the curious look Julian shot my way. I didn't even turn when I heard River's SUV pull into the driveway behind me. I had been in a bad mood all day. I'd been too stuck in my head, worrying about what would happen once I got home.
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't decide what to do about the Everett and Lawrence situation. My thoughts just kept spinning in circles, and I couldn't find any clarity to make a decision no matter how hard I tried. Lawrence was sweet, kind, extremely cute, and we seemed to get along well together, but on the other hand, I couldn't get over the pull I felt toward Everett, the way his eyes seemed to occupy my mind anytime my thoughts got quiet.
It didn't feel right to just drop a guy who had been pretty great just because I felt an attraction to someone else. If I could be entirely sure that it was more than just physical attraction, it would be a different matter, but I wasn't sure of that at all.
The fact that Lawrence and his family were coming over that afternoon was just making matters worse. I almost felt like I would be lying to his entire family by hiding this big Everett-sized secret.
I needed a few minutes alone to unwind before our guests arrived. When I walked through the front door, I dropped my backpack and rushed upstairs to my floor without pausing. Dropping down onto my couch, I grabbed my sketchbook from the coffee table and flipped to the last page I'd been working on. Drawing usually calmed my nerves and quieted my thoughts, but when my eyes landed on the sketch of Everett's eyes, all of that flew out the window. Grunting in aggravation, I slammed the book closed and tossed it back on the table.
Pushing my AirPods into my ears, I cranked my music up as loud as it would go and squeezed my eyes shut. Throwing an arm over my eyes, I tried to relax and fall into the rhythm of the music. Luckily, my latest attempt at drowning my thoughts worked much better than the previous ones.
It seemed like only minutes later when a hand roughly slapped my foot off the couch. Glancing up, I was shocked to see River standing over me. I pulled the AirPods from my ears and eyed her cautiously. It was the first time she had ever ventured to the third floor of this house... or the old house for that matter.
"Uncle Ben told me to come get you," she snapped. "Lawrence is here."
Confused, I looked at my phone and realized that over an hour had passed while I lay there listening to music. Well, that had worked better than I'd expected. I'd lost track of time completely and definitely hadn't been thinking.
Feeling lighter, I followed River out the door and down to the first floor. I finally felt like I might make it through this visit after all. When we walked into the living room, I saw Uncle Ben, Lucien, Lawrence, Annie, and the girl that was with River at the football game all gathered around the room.
As soon as I came into view, Lawrence stood from his spot on the couch and approached me. Once he reached my side, he threw a casual arm around my waist and pulled me close, facing the others.
"Ari, this is my little sister, Lizzie," he gestured towards the younger girl seated beside Annie on the couch. She would have been beyond beautiful if it wasn't for the look on her face while she stared back at me. I recognized the look immediately since I'd seen it on River's face for years. Animosity. The girl had obviously already made her mind up about me without even bothering to get to know me.
I figured it was no surprise I'd seen the girl hanging around River since their family came to town. They clearly had the same type of personality. Still, I ignored her look and gave her a friendly smile. She huffed in annoyance and turned to look out the window towards the front yard without a word. Lawrence glared hatefully at his little sister, but I just laid a hand on his side, trying to diffuse the situation.
He glanced down at me, and his face softened instantly. After taking a deep calming breath, he turned towards Annie. "This is my sister-in-law, Annie."
I nodded along since I already knew who she was. In great contrast to Lizzie, Annie gave me a gentle smile in greeting. "It's nice to see you again, Ari."
"Yeah, you too," I responded in a friendly tone. Something about the cute redhead just compelled me to soften my tone when speaking to her.
When I glanced around the room curiously, Lawrence seemed to know what I was looking for without me asking. "Cal isn't here yet. He and our oldest brother had something they needed to do. They'll be here soon."
I couldn't help but glance up at him in confusion. "Oldest brother? I've only ever heard you mention Cal."
He shrugged carelessly, "Yeah, we have another brother too, but we're not exactly close. Not like Cal and me."
The two of us took a seat on one of the couches with me squeezed between Lawrence and Lucien. Lawrence kept his arm wrapped tightly around me while we all sat in awkward silence. It was clear that no one really knew what to say.
My eyes darted to Lucien nervously to find him already watching me with sympathy in his chocolate eyes. That's one of the reasons I loved him. He'd been such a big part of my life for so long that I didn't even have to tell him that I didn't want to do this. He already knew, and he probably completely understood why without even having to ask. The man can read every single one of my expressions.
After a few moments of everyone shifting in their seats uncomfortably, Uncle Ben finally decided to break the silence. "So, I wanted to do this so that I could get to know who Ari is spending time with. Tell me a little about yourself."
"Well, I'm seventeen. I live with my siblings, and I go to school with Ari. I don't have a job because I want to focus on the high school experience for now," Lawrence replied confidently, sounding like he had rehearsed his answer.
"What about college? You plan to go to college?" Uncle Ben asked, barely getting warmed up on his interrogation.
I thought I caught sight of Lucien rolling his eyes, but when I turned to look more closely, he just shot me an innocent look. I tilted my head in silent question, but he just shook his head at me.
Not really caring about Uncle Ben's questions or Lawrence's answers, for that matter, I tuned the conversation out. It didn't take much to get lost in my own thoughts once again. I wasn't even sure what my own answers would be to Uncle Ben's questions.
Did I even want to go to college? I wasn't sure. Spending my life as I had, I'd never really considered it a possibility to even consider.
Annie's soft-spoken voice pulled me from my spiraling thoughts. "I'd really like to get to know you as well, Ari."
I shifted nervously, suddenly unsure about how I would answer any questions she might ask, but I saw only sincerity in her eyes. So, I nodded hesitantly. Lizzie sighed loudly, making her disinterest known to the room as a whole. Thankfully, River stood and waved towards the stairs.
"You want to get out of here?" River asked, and the girl nodded enthusiastically, speed walking to the stairs in her haste to escape this awkward meeting. I couldn't even blame her and found myself staring longingly at the stairs. Even so, my body relaxed marginally once the two girls were out of sight. The hostility wafting off of the both of them made the already tense atmosphere even thicker.
I returned my attention to the room and found out that Annie was an artist. The passion that lit up her face when she spoke of painting was easily recognizable. It was the same look I saw in the mirror when I thought of music. That was my true love, but I did love art as well, and we quickly fell into a passionate conversation regarding that mutual interest.
"I'd like to see some of your drawings sometime," she said as soon as I mentioned my hobby.
"Do you mind if I take Annie upstairs for just a minute? We'll be right back," I asked, darting my eyes between my uncle and Lawrence. When they both nodded their assent, I stood and gestured for Annie to follow me.
I heard a knock on the front door when I reached the top of the stairs, but I didn't pay it much attention, knowing that someone else would get it. I led Annie up to my floor and grabbed my sketchbook from the coffee table. Handing it over to the petite woman, I dropped down on the couch.
Annie glanced around, eyeing our surroundings. "There's a separate living room on the third floor? That's unusual."
"So I've heard," I mumble, not in the mood to explain it. Annie looked more than a little confused, but she let it drop, opening the sketchbook I'd given her.
I watched her facial expressions while she flipped through the various sketches. I had a stack of sketchbooks in my room filled with years worth of drawings, but this was the one I was currently using. It had a little bit of everything. There were sketches of my parents, Lucien, the view from my favorite window of our old house, the view from my favorite spot on the roof of this house. There was one of the pier between our homes jutting out into the frozen lake, various cars I'd drawn for Lucien, and finally, the sketch of Everett's eyes.
I saw the intrigue and astonishment on her face as she flipped through them slowly. When she came to the sketch of Everett's eyes, she paused to stare at it, and her eyebrows drew together. Her eyes darted between me and the sketchbook a few times, but she didn't say anything. I shifted on the couch uneasily, hoping she didn't ask about it. She might not know whose eyes they were, but she sure knew they weren't Lawrence's.
After a moment of silence, Annie cleared her throat and shut the book, lying it gently back onto the coffee table. "Your drawings are impressive," she said with a small smile, and my chest swelled with pride at the compliment.
"Thanks. It's just something I do for my own enjoyment usually. I'd like to see your paintings sometime."
"I'd like that," she replied with a nod, and we grinned at each other. It was nice finding someone who shared my love for something... to feel such a simple connection with another person.
"We should probably get back downstairs," I said reluctantly. I wasn't in any rush to return to the tense atmosphere of the living room, but I also felt guilty for leaving Lawrence at the mercy of my well-intentioned uncle.
When the two of us rounded the corner into the first-floor living room, my feet slammed to a stop. My eyes widened in shock, and I sucked in such a sharp breath I almost choked myself. It felt like my stomach suddenly dropped to my feet.
"Hey, Ari. It's nice to see you again," Cal said, and I slowly turned my head in the direction of his voice, trying to get my brain to return to normal function. It had stopped just as suddenly as my feet had.
"H-hey, Mr. Halterman," I stuttered shakily.
He smiled at me in his usual friendly manner, making a dimple pop on his left cheek. "It's just Cal when we aren't in school."
I nodded numbly, knowing that already, but my brain was still lagging behind. I slowly turned and looked back into those beautiful Caribbean blue eyes looking back into my own with the same shock I was feeling.
An arm dropped onto my shoulders, and I glanced up distractedly to where Lawrence was smiling down at me, clearly oblivious to the fact that my indecision was blowing up in my face. My body tensed, and my shoulders tightened under his arm. I had to fight the urge to step away from him, and he finally seemed to realize something wasn't right. He stared down at me strangely while I actively avoided meeting his eyes.
"Ari, this is our oldest brother, Everett," he said, giving up on catching my gaze.
After a deep calming breath, my eyes flicked to Everett cautiously, and I found that those bright eyes were no longer pointed in my direction. I could see that his shoulders had also tightened under the thin fabric of his charcoal grey shirt.
I had no idea what to say, but he took the choice out of my hands when he looked back to me, his eyes suddenly distant and closed off somehow.
"It's nice to meet you, Ari," he said in that deep voice that always seemed to draw a reaction from me.
I nodded mutely, lost on how to respond. My voice seemed to have abandoned me anyway. A knot was firmly lodged in my throat.
My eyes caught on Annie, whose eyes darted back and forth between Everett and me. She was obviously noticing that something was off, but she knew well enough to keep her mouth shut.
Lawrence guided me over to the couch and sat me back down in my previous seat sandwiched between him and Lucien. Years of experience pulled my eyes to Lucien's face, looking for the one person I knew could comfort me in my darkest moments.
I wasn't sure what he saw in my eyes, but his expression changed to one of bewilderment as he stared back at me. Inconspicuously scooting closer to me, his upper arm pressed against mine, and I shot him a tiny thankful smile. It wasn't a huge help, but I was touched that he tried without even knowing what was happening.
I had no doubt that this little meeting would complicate my Lawrence/Everett situation even further. As if it wasn't already bad enough. Everyone around me continued to chat casually, but I couldn't focus on anything said. My eyes periodically darted to Everett of their own accord. He sat in a recliner across from me, and his eyes never once veered in my direction again after that first introduction.
He didn't join the conversation flowing around us either. We both sat awkwardly in the middle of the group, trying to hide our unease. A pit opened up in my stomach, making me feel like I'd just lost the possibility of something important.
Hearing a sound come from behind me, I turned towards the entrance and watched Julian saunter into the room. Much like I'd done, he came to a sudden halt when his eyes landed on Everett. His eyes bounced between Lawrence and Everett a few times before they scanned the room and finally came to a stop on me. Worry showed on his face for a split second before he schooled his features and glanced around the group of people again.
"Uhhhh. What's going on?" He asked nervously.
"Oh, Julian. Come here," our uncle said, waving him further into the room. "This is Lawrence's family. That's his brothers Cal and Everett, Cal's wife, Annie, and their sister is upstairs with River."
Julian's brows almost hit his hairline, and his eyes shot back to me momentarily before a plainly fake smile appeared on his face as he said hello to everyone. He quickly made an escape back out of the room, obviously uncomfortable with the situation at hand.
A few tense minutes later, the sound of a phone ringing filled the room, interrupting the conversation I still wasn't privy to. Moving for the first time in a while, Everett leaned to the side to pull his phone from his pocket. After a quick glance at the screen, he looked at each of his brothers.
"I'm sorry, but it's work. I have to take this," he mumbled in Uncle Ben's direction and strode out of the room without another glance towards anyone. "I have to go," he said, getting straight to the point when he returned a minute later.
"We should probably go too," Lawrence spoke up, eyeing me to check if I was going to ask him to stay longer. I wasn't. He pulled me up from the couch with him, and I followed their group to the front door.
Once there, Annie turned to me with a sweet smile. "I look forward to seeing you again, Ari."
I nodded along and forced a smile to my face, silently wondering if she would be as welcoming if she knew the whole story.
Cal patted me on the shoulder on his way by. "See you tomorrow."
"It was nice to see you, Everett," I finally forced out of my mouth, speaking for the first time since I'd entered the living room and seen him. Anxiety had me shuffling my feet where I stood while I awaited his response.
His spine straightened at the sound of my voice, and after a slight hesitation, he nodded without even glancing up from his phone's screen. "Yeah. Goodbye, Ari."
I had to fight not to flinch at his words or the finality ringing through them. I got his meaning loud and clear.
Before I could even react, Lawrence dropped a peck on my lips on his way out the door, and my eyes shot to Everett to see if he was watching. All I saw was his back as he walked away.
As I closed the door, I leaned back against it and squeezed my eyes shut, much like I'd done after my date with Lawrence. The emotions coursing through me were vastly different this time, though.
"What was that?" Lucien asked.
I opened my eyes to find both him and Uncle Ben standing shoulder to shoulder as they stared at me, awaiting an answer.
"Micah was right, and things just blew up in my face," I mumbled and headed upstairs, offering no further explanation to my words.