Travelling by sea was something that I was used to, something that I had once really enjoyed, but this time around keeping my eyes open was proving to be a trying task. My father had taken me on countless business trips when I was younger, but he hadn't ever brought me with him until after the break-in. Both of us were too scared to leave me home alone, no matter how many bodyguards were there to protect me.
The first trip we took together was probably the first time either of us had felt happy since Mom's death. It was a few months after it happened–it took both of us a while to get back into our old routines, and his hesitation to leave me alone kept him from travelling until I offered to tag along. We only went to Harbor Town, but we felt like a family again. I was so determined to see an elephant koi that I spent the whole journey on the deck, craned over the railing as I watched the water below me. My poor father was seasick the whole time. He tried to explain to me that we were too far away from Kyoshi Island to see elephant koi, but I was just a kid. I didn't know any better and if it wasn't impossible, then it would be stupid not to try.
But it quickly became a tradition for us to watch out for the elusive elephant koi, just in case. And every time we didn't see one he'd promise to take me to Kyoshi Island someday.
We never got around to it. There just wasn't much business for us there. Kyoshi Island was a quiet and largely kept to itself but I had wanted to go ever since starting self-defense classes. As it turned out, I liked fighting, and I wasn't too bad at it, either. I wanted to get so good that I could live there for a while and train with the Kyoshi Warriors. Nobody ever heard much from the island, except that women took the lead on everything. Women were celebrated there. Women were safe there. Who wouldn't want to go?
Again, I never got around to it.
This time I hadn't looked for the elephant koi at all. I was probably just tired after being at sea for a few days, and towards the end of the trip I couldn't go out on the deck anyway. The water was unforgiving and the weather was so bad that the captain actually ordered us to stay inside. Aside from the risk of being thrown off the deck or being struck by lightning, stormy seas often irritated spirits. It wasn't uncommon for agitated spirits to take innocent sailors. If it could happen to the Avatar, it could happen to anyone.
The storm got so bad that we had to change course. I was supposed to arrive at the South Pole in the afternoon, but it was already later in the evening and I still hadn't made it. I killed the last few hours curled up in my cot, chewing on ginger drops as I tried to keep warm.
I guess the civil war and the narrowly-missed apocalypse distracted me from the cold last time, I thought as I let my eyes stay shut for a few seconds, on the condition that I would definitely open them again.
But they stayed shut longer than I'd promised myself and I had to force them apart. In ten seconds, I'll close them for 3 seconds, then open them again.
Ten, nine, eight, I yawned, where was I? That had to have taken a few seconds.
Five, four, three, two-
Something bright tore across the sky and I shot upwards. The Southern Lights. We had to be close.
"Attention passengers," the voice on the intercom announced, "we are approaching our final destination. Please prepare to disembark. Thank you for sailing with us, and enjoy the South Pole!"
I rushed out of the cabin and out onto the deck, trying my best to ignore the cold biting at my nose. I needed to be first off the ship and get to Korra's house before it got too late in the evening, before she would call it a night.
I scanned the crowd as I descended the ramp onto the dock. The ship had been almost completely booked with tourists traveling to the South Pole for the festival, and the dock was packed with Southern Water Tribespeople waiting to be reunited with returning family. I slowly made my way through people hugging and laughing and bumped into a group of tourists pointing at a map, arguing over which way they were supposed to go.
"Asami!" I spun around and saw Tonraq, backing away from the crowd and waving his hand in the air. I waved back and pushed my way through a sea of people wearing blue, and realized that my pink parka made me stick out like a sore thumb. He threw his arms around me as I was finally spat out from the crowd. "You made it! How was the trip?"
"Oh, it was fine until the storm," I said as we left the dock. "I'm sorry I'm so late, how long were you waiting?"
"Not too long," he said as we approached the snowmobile. "I was actually running a little late, too. This hunk of junk is falling apart and almost didn't start, I was worried I'd have to bring Naga."
"What's going on with it? I can take a look, if you like." I offered.
He shook his head as he secured my bag to the back. "You're on vacation!" He said, helping me onto the snowmobile, "let's get you home before you freeze to death in that coat." He turned the key in the ignition and the engine spluttered once. "If this damn thing would work."
"Tonraq, let me take a look at it tom-" but the engine finally kicked into gear and the snowmobile lurched forward. I pulled my scarf up over my face in a failed attempt to shield myself from the cold air and squinted to protect my eyes from watering, which only forced the tears out onto my cheeks.
I'm going to take Korra up on her offer to get me some warmer Water Tribe clothes, I thought as they froze against my skin.
Before long we pulled up outside Korra's house and Tonraq led us inside. "Well, at least we made it home! I hope you're hungry, Senna was cooking up a storm earlier."
My stomach clenched as I pulled the scarf away from my face. "Honestly, I'm feeling a little seasick after sailing past that storm."
"Asami, it's so good to see you, sweetie!" Senna said in a hushed tone as she rushed through from the kitchen to hug me. "Are you hungry?"
"I'm actually feeling a little sick, we had to dodge a pretty bad storm." I looked past Senna's shoulder as we hugged, expecting Korra to appear behind her. "Is Korra still up?"
Senna pulled away. "She fell asleep about an hour ago. I can go wake her if you want to say hello, I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
"No," my stomach sank as I declined the offer. "I'd hate to disturb her when she's had so much trouble sleeping lately."
"It's been difficult. You'd think with everything her body is going through she would be exhausted by the end of the day," Tonraq said, "but she just can't seem to get a good night's sleep."
"It's a good sign that she managed to fall asleep so quickly tonight, usually she's up until well past midnight," she said.
"Progress is progress, no matter how small." I added.
"I really hope so. Follow me, I'll show you to your room. You must be exhausted after your journey," Senna said as she led me through the kitchen and past a table and chairs that looked out of place in a Southern Water Tribe home, where most people sat on cushions on the floor. It didn't help that there was one chair missing.
There were portraits of Korra and her parents, some just of her, and newspaper clippings scattered around the frames. Headlines about her pro-bending matches, about her defeating Amon and restoring his victims' bending, about her victory against Unaloq and Vaatu, but none about defeating the Red Lotus. Not even anything about restoring the Air Nation and saving the Airbenders. Despite all the good she had just done, none of it was on display.
I followed Senna around the corner and into a darkened hallway, all the way to the room next to Korra's. "You make yourself at home, sweetheart," Senna said, opening the door into my room. "There's a fireplace if you get cold, don't hesitate to use it."
"Thank you for having me, Senna," I said, placing my bag on the ground. "It's really good to see you guys again."
"Oh, we're more than happy to have you, Korra's really missed you these past few months," she said, pulling me into another quick hug. "Sleep in as long as you like, okay? We're not exactly running on a tight schedule here," she whispered, closing the door behind her as she left.
Against the wall I shared with Korra was a vanity, and directly across from it there was a large bed pushed up against the wall on the left. The Southern Lights were shining through the window opposite me, dancing along the floor and the mass of pelts on the bed. I tossed my coat onto the chair in front of the vanity and quickly changed into my pajamas.
These are definitely not suited for a South Pole winter, I thought as I wrapped myself in one of the pelts that laid on my bed and squatted in front of the fireplace. But I couldn't be bothered to try building a fire myself, so I let myself collapse into the bed and breathed a sigh of relief as I got comfortable under the quilts and pelts. I could just hear Korra snoring lightly on the other side of the wall, and brushed off the weird feeling in my stomach as me still feeling a little seasick from the storm.
*****
I heard someone bounding towards me and, before I could even open my eyes, something soft and wet dragged across the side of my face. My eyes flew open to find Naga standing over me, tail wagging and tongue hanging out the side of her mouth. "Good morning to you, too, I guess," I said, wiping my face with whichever pelt was closest.
And from behind her, I heard a familiar chuckle. "I think you mean 'good afternoon'."
Did I really sleep in that long? I lifted myself up and peered around Naga, who was still wagging her tail and nudging me with her nose to win my attention. Just inside the doorway was Korra, her elbow propped up on the arm of her wheelchair and her head resting on her hand. She smiled.
"Gimme a sec, girl," I said, kissing Naga's head as I got out of bed. "I can't believe I'm finally seeing you for the first time in months!"
Korra held out her hand as I approached her. "Help me up, I need to give you a hug."
I offered my arm and she took it, pulling herself up and using her other arm to push herself forward. I took her other arm and pulled her towards me without gripping too hard. "Please be careful," I said, "I don't want you to hurt yourself just for a hug."
She wrapped her arms around my shoulders so she could lean her weight off of her legs and onto me, and I wrapped my arms around her waist to help hold her up. "I can handle a hug! I just can't for too long, and I'll need you to help lower me back down."
"Of course," I breathed. I felt her slipping and helped her back into her wheelchair, letting my hands drag across the length of her forearms as I stood back up. "I'm sorry I slept in so late, I guess I must've been really tired from the trip."
"I'm sorry I was already asleep by the time you got here!"
"Don't be, I'm just glad you got a good night's sleep."
"I could say the same to you." She turned towards the door. "Come on, let's get you some food. You must be starving."
I followed her down the hall and into the kitchen, led only by the sound of something crackling as I watched her shoulder blades draw close together and apart again as she wheeled herself into the kitchen. Her ponytail was bouncing on the space between them–her hair had gotten longer over the past few months.
"Hey, sleepyhead!" Tonraq teased, breaking my trance. "You're just in time, Senna's cooking us up some puffin-seal sausages."
"They smell amazing," I said as I sat in the chair next to the open space where Korra now sat. She leaned forward to reach for the teapot and from the corner of my eye I saw her ponytail again brush against that space, and wondered whether or not it tickled a little when it did. You have hair long enough for a ponytail, tie it up and find out for yourself.
"Asami?" She asked.
"Hmm?"
"Tea?"
"Oh. Yeah, I'd love some."
"Still half asleep, huh?" Tonraq teased.
I shrugged. "I guess so."
"Leave her be! She's just had a long journey," Senna said as she sat at the table with us, bringing a heaping plate of sausages with her. "Do you girls have any fun plans for the day?"
Korra and I looked at each other. "Nothing yet. Was there anything you wanted to do?" She asked.
I held my tea close to my chest to help keep me warm. "Honestly, I could use some warmer clothes, I completely forgot how cold it is here."
"I'm surprised you didn't freeze to death last night, sleeping in that," she said, one eyebrow raised as she looked me up and down–I was in silk pajama pants and a tank top, my robe wrapped tightly around me. "We can go into town today and get you some new stuff. I'll let you borrow something to wear in the meantime?"
*****
I lifted myself off my pillow and tossed it onto the ground. It landed softly on top of the other one I'd already thrown off the bed as I leaned over to grab the other one from next to me and pulled it under my head. I'd already flipped over the first two pillows twice, trying to take advantage of the cool side on each of them, and still couldn't bring myself to sleep.
I tried rolling onto my back and curled my arms around my unsettled stomach. I hadn't felt this way since...Spirits, since the day Korra was poisoned. Seeing her body limp in Tonraq's arms, her hand falling as the light left her eyes, I thought she had just died in the Avatar state. And I was frozen, helpless, holding my breath to stop myself from crying as Zaheer laughed.
I gasped, not realizing I'd forgotten to breathe as I remembered, and rolled over to watch the lights from the Spirit Portal shine on the floor. Look, you're not there anymore, and neither is Korra. She's safe and sound in the next room. Think of something comforting.
"Okay. Thoughts on this one?" I asked, emerging from behind the curtain.
Korra smiled, the left side of her mouth lifting slightly higher than the right. "Wow, uh," she shook her head, "you look like a real Southern Water Tribe girl."
I shoved my hands in the pockets and turned around to look at my own reflection. I was trying on a matching set of dark blue pants and a long sleeved shirt, both lined with elephant seal fur. I wasn't used to wearing blue. "It's definitely different for me."
"If you don't like the dark blue you can try the set in a lighter shade," the seamstress offered.
"Oh, no, I love this," I assured her, turning a little in the mirror to check out the side view when I caught Korra watching, chewing on her bottom lip in an unsuccessful attempt to stifle a smile. "I'd love to try on the light blue, too. I definitely need more than one set."
"Yeah, I can't have you stealing all my clothes," Korra teased, again raising that eyebrow at me as I made eye contact with her in the mirror.
My heart fluttered for a half a second, and then my stomach dropped. I rolled over and yanked the pile of blankets and pelts up over my head and let my face burn into the pillow.
But I couldn't stay stewing underneath the blankets for very long. I pulled them off of my head as I rolled over and glanced across the room, right at the bag of new clothes I had bought earlier that day.
Korra had forgotten to ask me to give her shirt back.
She never has to know, I thought as I slid out of bed and tip-toed across the room, carefully stepping around the pillows on the floor.
I didn't find her shirt until I'd pulled out all the new clothes and tossed them behind me. Hers was worn in, the fur lining was flattened a little and the elbows were slightly creased. I pulled it over my head as I climbed back into bed, and it was only when I let out a yawn that I noticed how much it smelled like her. It was overwhelming, and I was left absolutely brimming with guilt that she had now become my safety.