Days and weeks continued to pass, and Adhara grew stronger in the Force. She refused to lose another clone.
She could protect them with both lightsabers. With only one. She could do it blindfolded or in the dark. And every time, dripping in sweat, Trap would tell her to stay strong and Aitor would radiate pride, telling her she would make a strong dark side wielder if she gave into her pain. She could tell Dooku was growing tired of trying to break her, but Aitor's resolve seemed stronger every day.
The droids threw her in her cell after a particularly hard session, where she spent the morning screaming from electrocution and heat, and the afternoon straining her body to the breaking point protecting the clones. She immediately dropped to her knees in the cell, her bones mush, and swallowed back tears. She thought of Ahsoka, bright and lively and vibrant, and let it ease some of the breaking. Let her pretend she was happy and whole.
There was a creak as the door of her cell opened, and her head shot up to see Aitor slip in. Immediately, her lips pulled back into a snarl.
"Get out, Aitor. Now."
"Please, Addie." He wrung his hands in front of him. "Hear me out."
"I don't even want to look at you, I sure as hell don't want to hear whatever you have to say."
But still, he dropped to his knees, purple eyes staring into her own. Her heart shuddered to see those eyes, so familiar, on such a sinister face. "We can make this stop, Adhara. We can stop your pain. You just have to join me."
Adhara bared her teeth. "How many times do I have to tell you? I will never join you."
"I hate seeing you in pain." His voice was hard. "But if you join me you can stop it. You can stop hurting us both."
"Or you can stop hurting me." She couldn't help it -- her voice broke. "Why are you doing this to me, Aitor? I'm your sister."
Aitor's face tightened, and he withdrew, shaking his head. "I won't lose you, Addie. I'll do what I have to."
Adhara let her eyes flutter shut. Tried to block Aitor out, even though he was right there. "You have already lost me."
And she had lost herself, a little more, everyday.
Ahsoka. Where are you?
I miss you.
I can't carry on without you.
Where are you?
Ahsoka.
Ahsoka.
Ahsoka.
She thought about all the people on Coruscant that she missed: Obi-Wan, Rex, Anakin, Cody, but Ahsoka most of all. She took Ahsoka for granted, she knew now. She had been lucky, to get to know her as Younglings. Even luckier to become Obi-Wan's apprentice, and to get to spend endless days with Ahsoka.
It seemed as though her luck had ran out.
She exhaled slowly, leaning her head back again the cool wall, eyelids fluttering closed. Would the Force listen to her, if she spoke to it? If she asked it to save her, or to ease her into oblivion? If she begged for it to do something?
Perhaps it did hear her, because sleep chased her into the peace of nothing.
***
When Adhara woke, she knew something was off.
She could feel it in the Force that thrummed through her and through the complex, as if warning her, and immediately she was on her knees, still chained to the floor, but ears straining for any hint of what was going on. She reached for her sabers, only to remember that they were not there, and that she was a prisoner. Trapped.
Maybe this is for the best, she told herself, swallowing down any fear that threatened to rise within her.
There were footsteps outside of her cell, and Adhara's body tensed as the door open and she saw blue.
Blue, like the sea.
Blue, like the sky.
Blue, like the home she'd been searching for, and had found again.
She hadn't realized how homesick she'd felt until she stared into Ahsoka's eyes and immediately felt her soul ease.
Ahsoka searched Adhara's face, her expression open and vulnerable. In it, Adhara could see the pain Ahsoka had felt all these weeks with Adhara gone, could see her fear and grief in the wain colour of her skin, the dark circles under her eyes, as if she couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything but search for Adhara.
And now she looked at her as if she couldn't believe who sat before her, as if she'd realized her greatest dream. It made Adhara's heart thunder up her throat, made her stomach twist and turn inside of her.
"Adhara," Ahsoka breathed, taking one rigid step into the cell. Adhara just stared at her, could not do anything else, and forced herself to believe that she was awake and this was not a dream. That Ahsoka was truly here, here, here, and even if they never made it out of the complex Adhara knew she was rescued.
"Ahsoka," Adhara whispered, and the sound of her voice seemed to make Ahsoka come undone. Her bottom lip quivered, and she stumbled into the cell, dropping to her knees and throwing her arms around Adhara's neck. Adhara, still chained to the floor, couldn't hug her back, but she felt the trembling of Ahsoka's body against her, felt her eyelashes fluttering against the skin of Adhara's neck, and heard her fervent, breathless whispers. It was the caress of her name. "Adhara. Adhara. Adhara."
Adhara inhaled deeply, inhaled the scent of Ahsoka. She reveled in the feeling of Ahsoka's arms around her neck, of being close to the Togruta, of the way her soul seemed to calm and ease in her touch.
There had always been hope, she realized, because there had always been Ahsoka.
"You came," she breathed, and her voice was choked.
Ahsoka pulled back to look into Adhara's violet eyes, and Adhara was certain she was a Mon Calamari, because she was swimming, swimming, swimming in the depths of Ahsoka's heart.
"Of course I came." Ahsoka lifted her hands to cup Adhara's cheeks, and she leaned into the touch, her eyelids fluttering shut. "I would never stop fighting for you. You know that."
Adhara let out a choked laugh, blinking back tears. "I never lost hope."
"Liar."
"Okay, well...maybe a little." She winked, but it felt heavy. "But not anymore."
Ahsoka exhaled slowly, her expression tightening as she looked at Adhara. As she took in the colour of her skin, the bruising under her eyes, the hard jut of her shoulders and her ribs. She stared deep into Adhara's eyes, and Adhara knew she saw an empty well. Purple irises that spun into the black hole of her pupil.
Ahsoka's voice was a hard whisper. "What did they do to you."
The words ricocheted through Adhara. Tried to make her relieve her pain, her suffering, the endless hours where she'd wished she'd been dead and then had seen a clone die and had wished for revenge.
But she couldn't relive it. Not yet.
Perhaps not ever.
"Nothing."
"Adhara."
"Ahsoka."
Ahsoka's jaw worked, and then she relented, her grip on Adhara's face softening. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," Adhara breathed.
I don't know, but I want to be. I have to be.
Ahsoka's answering smile was the sun, and then her green saber was out, splitting the chains that held Adhara down. "It's not over yet. Let's get out of here."
Adhara nodded, using the Force to unlock the chains still dangling around her hands, which she had never done before because she knew it was hopeless and would take too much of her strength.
Now, all she had was hope.
They ran out of the cell and into the torture chamber. Adhara stopped short.
Anakin and Obi-Wan stood with their arms crossed in the middle of the room, eyes narrowed at the torture table as Rex and the other clones stood watch at the door.
"Master," Adhara said, inclining her head at him, ignoring her heart in her throat.
Obi-Wan turned to her, and she heard his breath catch at he looked at her. She watched as his face contorted as he took in her emaciated skin, her overly thin body, and the haunted look in her eyes. But he just said "Adhara. It's good to see you," inclining his head to her.
Anakin turned toward her, throwing her lightsabers to her. "Found these by the table. Figured you might need them." He flashed her a wink.
"Let's get out of here," Ahsoka said. "I don't want to run into Dooku."
But Adhara couldn't do that. Couldn't just leave, with her tail tucked between her legs, like a scared puppy.
"We have to go get my clones."
"Where are they?" Rex asked.
Adhara shrugged. "Not sure, all I know is that they're alive."
Anakin rolled his eyes. "That's helpful."
She smiled, but it was cold. Her lightsaber ignited, bathing her face green. "Well then, we better start looking."
I'm coming for you, Aitor.
***
It took far too much wandering through Dooku's complex to find the cell where the clones were hidden.
"Hurry up Anakin, Rex," Obi-Wan said, his voice hard. "If Dooku didn't know we were here before, he does now."
Anakin's jaw tightened, and he used the Force to open the door. Trap was already standing when the door slid open, as if he knew someone was coming.
"Lieutenant Trap," Rex said, stepping into the cell. "It's good to see you unscathed."
"Captain Rex, you are a sight for sore eyes." the smile fell from Trap's face as he looked at Adhara, searching her face, as if he would see into her cracked, withered soul. "Commander."
She inclined her head, keeping her face neutral. "Always good to see you, Lieutenant." She couldn't meet his eyes, because she knew if she did it would bring back all the trauma of the past few weeks, and she couldn't face it. Not yet.
Not until she faced Aitor.
"Let's get out of here," Anakin said as the clones filed out of the cell.
But Adhara's feet remained rooted to the ground. "No."
Ahsoka paused, turning back to look at Adhara. Eyes searching her face. "No?"
"No."
"Why?"
Adhara forced herself to swallow. To steady her breathing. To try to speak with clarity even though she knew her heart was in turmoil. "Because I am not leaving her until I face Aitor. I will not leave until I kill him."
Ahsoka's body stilled. She turned and looked Adhara head on, as if only just beginning to realize what they had done to her.
What he had done to her.
Obi-Wan walked over to her, crossing his arms over his chest. "Adhara, no."
"I have to." her voice broke.
"No." his voice was hard. "It is not the Jedi way."
Adhara exhaled slowly, focusing on her breathing. Trying to quell, to stifle and silence and kill, the venom in her heart.
Purpose over passion. Purpose over everything.
This was exactly what Aitor wanted. Any kernel of emotion, of hate that she could channel into the Force, and that would turn her.
I won't lose you, Addie. I'll do what I have to.
Even if that meant turning her against him. He didn't care, as long as she turned.
"Okay," she breathed, exhaling. "Okay. Let's go."
"I don't think so." They all whirled to the end of the hallway, where Dooku stood, an army of droids spanning out behind him.
Obi-Wan sighed, his voice flat. "How did I know?"
Dooku's smile was nothing short of feral. "Leaving so soon?"
"We were hoping to," Anakin said, unsheathing his saber, "but sometimes plans change."
Dooku laughed coldly. "Don't I know it."
And with that, the droids began firing.
Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka all immediately lunged forward, and Adhara gritted her teeth, unsheathing her guard shoto as she prepared herself to jump into the fray.
But then there was a hand on her, stalling her. Holding her in place.
"I don't think so, sister."
The snarl that escaped Adhara was purely feral, one she could not rein in. Her pulse thundered through her arms into her fingertips, but she forced herself to be steady. To take deep breaths. To remember her purpose, over everything.
"Let me go, Aitor."
"No."
"You cannot hold me."
"I can try."
She spun on him, his face lit up red, hers green. "Then you will fight me."
Aitor's face was the same as she remembered it to be, when she was a child. Solemn and unyielding. "So be it."
She was the first to lunge.
The clash of their sabers rang up her arm, but she was relentless. She was no longer the weak padawan on Kamino who had let him steal her saber as she asked him to stay, as if it wasn't hopeless. Futile.
She had been a fool, but not longer.
Now she was a Jedi.
And it was Aitor who honed her into a weapon.
Before her imprisonment, she had never moved so smoothly. so gracefully. But he had fired bullets at her clones, had sent lightning, and had forced her to move faster than ever before, to be better than ever before, both physically and mentally.
She was nothing, no one, but a weapon. And so she fought like one.
She pushed Aitor back down the hallways of the complex. Pushed him through the door and into the blistering heat of Serenno. Pushed him back, back, back, lightsaber flashing, shoto twirling around her fingers as she continued her assault, never slowing. Even as her arms ached and sweat poured into her eyes, she didn't stop.
Aitor could barely keep her back, and finally he pushed her away with the force, his chest heaving.
"I see your anger," he called as Adhara staggered to her feet, brushing dust off of her clothes. "I see your pain. It makes you stronger. Can you feel it?"
Adhara stayed silent. His words threatened to evoke rage, so she stood with her arms crossed, forcing herself to breath deep. To fall into the Force.
"Come on, Addie." he retracted his blade, extending a hand to her. "Join me. Don't leave me again."
Adhara's face twisted. "Leave you? I never left you, I was taken!"
"That doesn't matter!"
Adhara's chest heaved. "Maybe it doesn't. But what matters is what you've done to me. How you've hurt me."
Grief flooded over Aitor's face. "What else could I do? How else could I make you stay?"
"You are my big brother!" her voice broke, but she ignored the sound. Ignored what it did to her heart. "You are supposed to protect me, but instead you pulled me apart like a doll."
Aitor ground his jaw, breathing hard, before he schooled his features into a neutral expression. "Do you expect me to apologize?"
Adhara shook her head. Lifted her sabers. Glared at her once brother, now enemy. "I don't expect anything from you anymore, Aitor."
This time, it was him who lunged first.
Adhara deflected his attacks, fighting as hard as she could. The pain in her heart felt immeasurable, unbearable, but she couldn't feel it. It made her weak.
So she fell into the place that had always been safe. That had always been home when her parents were dead and Ahsoka was gone.
The Force.
She fell into it, letting it guide her movements as she fought Aitor. She could feel it all around her - in the man she fought, in the ground at her feet, vibrating in the air, and even in the rays of light around them, illuminating everything, surrounding her.
And somehow she knew, with just a flick of her wrist, she could bend that light.
So she did.
Immediately, she had double vision, could hear Aitor's gasp and curse as she stumbled towards him. Her brain pounded against her skull, and she let the ribbons of light go.
She fell to her knees.
Aitor was gaping at her, his snow-white skin somehow paler. Distantly, she could hear a ship above her, but her brain ached behind her eyes. "How did you do that?" he asked, his voice awed.
She couldn't function. Could barely breath. "Do what?"
"Disappear?"
She furrowed her brow at him, and it sent another arc of pain through her skull. "What?"
Aitor opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't. Adhara felt the Force slam into him, sending him flying backwards, and then there were hands, lifting her up into theship. Her legs were jelly, and she was relieved when he leaned her on the wall.
"Adhara?" Obi-Wan was leaning in to look into her eyes, his brow furrowed in concern. "Adhara, are you okay?"
She swallowed passed her sandpaper throat. "Fine, Master."
"Can you stand?"
She gritted her teeth, trying to push herself to her feet, but to no avail. Her vision swam, and she collapsed back down, wincing passed the pain. "No, Master. I'm sorry."
Obi-Wan's face was kind. "It's okay, Adhara. Rest." He turned away from her. "Rex, Anakin, I want you on the guns! Get us out of here!"
For a moment, there was silence, the only sound the distant shooting of guns as the roar of the engines as they took off. Adhara's eyes were closed, but she could feel Ahsoka's presence, could feel her lowering herself beside Adhara.
"Are you okay?" Ahsoka asked, voice low.
Adhara hummed, nodding her head.
"What happened?"
Adhara opened her eye only a fraction; even the small light in the ship made her brain scream. "I disappeared."
"You...disappeared?" Ahsoka sounded skeptical.
"Seems that way."
Again, there was silence, and Adhara focused not on her own breathing but on Ahsoka's. On the steady in and out, and let it lull her. Let Ahsoka's life breath her into peace.
"Adhara?"
"Hmmm?"
"Please don't ever leave me again."
Adhara opened her eyes, despite the pain. Searched Ahsoka's face, and saw true desperation shining in her eyes.
"I would never leave you if I didn't have to, Ash."
Ahsoka's smile was tight. "I know."
"You can't leave me, either."
"I wouldn't." she paused, and then said, her voice low, "I couldn't."
Adhara knew they walked on treacherous territory. That this went against all their training, and everything the Jedi stood for. It pulled Adhara apart - who was she? The part of her that was a Jedi, or the part of her that was Ahsoka's?
Because she was Ahsoka's. She had always been Ahsoka's, from the moment she had become a youngling and the Togruta had claimed her.
But she couldn't understand how their bond could be so wrong when it kept Adhara in the light. When it kept her sane in her darkest moments, in the depths of torture, when she stared into Aitor's loveless eyes.
So when Ahsoka's hand slipped into hers, she didn't pull away. And when she fell asleep, it was with her head on Ahsoka's shoulder, and safety in her soul.