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I didn't mean to cause any harm
for who really means to cause harm in this world
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September 4th 1976 -
"Aren't prefects supposed to be stopping parties not planning them?" Alice questioned Aurelia teasingly.
"Oh shut up Alice," Aurelia groaned. "Besides Remus is helping plan this party too. I didn't even asked to be made a bloody prefect, Minnie should have given it to Marls."
"I'm glad she didn't," Marlene chimed in, biting into her muffin. "I would have been a bloody awful one."
"As if Lia's any better," Peter teased lightly, sticking out his tongue at Aurelia who responded childishly.
"Anyways, Room of Requirement at seven, be there," Sirius instructed.
"And see if the House Elves will spare you some food," James added. "They only like you and Peter."
"I wonder why," Aurelia rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't like someone if they set my kitchen on fire. Oh wait, you set our kitchen on fire too."
"You set the castle's kitchen on fire?" Lily demanded, turning on James. "And your own kitchen! What were you doing?"
"Er—" James scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.
"He tried making oatmeal," Sirius tattled.
"Like you're any better," Remus snorted. "You had one job last week, take the cookies out for Mia after twenty minutes. Instead, you ran off with James and the poor lady's cookies were burned to a crisp and her kitchen smelled horrendous."
"Remind me to never let either of them remotely near a kitchen," Marlene whispered loudly to her best friend.
"We're getting off track!" James stammered, cheeks bright red. "Party at seven, be there, or don't I could care less because you're all a bunch of bullies!"
And with that he stood up and dramatically flounced off, Sirius hot on his heels.
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The Room of Requirement was crowded, tables lined with drinks and food spreading across the back wall, a record player somewhere in the corner blasting some random album. Aurelia had ditched her uniform, wearing a short grey skirt and a white button down, half untucked, with a large worn leather jacket she had stolen from Sirius. Her hair was pulled up haphazardly as she held a Firewhiskey in one hand, twirling Marlene with the other.
"I'm going to get another glass," she told Marlene, dropping her best friend's hand as she nodded happily.
Along the way she stopped here and there, exchanging pleasantries with too many people to count, actually talking to a few. By the time she made her way to the bottle of Firewhiskey, her glass was long empty, so she poured a generous amount to top it off. She had lost track of how much she had drank and frankly she didn't care, she had long grown numb to the effects of alcohol. It helped numb her pain and get her through the nights, and she knew it was a problem but she couldn't stop.
"What would McGonagall say if she saw her perfect Gryffindor princess happily drinking enough Firewhiskey for about fifty people?" a dark voice questioned, sliding next to her and reaching for the bottle.
"Well it's a good thing she doesn't know then," Aurelia shrugged lightly, tipping her glass back, sighing slightly as the amber liquid burned her throat. "What would darling mummy say if she saw her perfect Reggie at a party filled with muggleborns and blood traitors?"
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her," Regulus responded dryly, copying Aurelia's actions and downing his drink.
"I thought parties weren't your scene," Aurelia commented lightly.
"I thought I'd check it out," he smirked teasingly. "Aren't you supposed to be the life of the party princess?"
"Aren't you supposed to be hiding in your dorm?" she retorted.
"Maybe I've changed," he shrugged. "Life's too short."
"That's rather morbid," Aurelia snorted, but she agreed with him, she always said that herself; she more than anyone knew just how short life was, and that was exactly why she was always the life of the party.
The two sat there in silence as Aurelia downed her drink. For the first time of their lives, Aurelia and Regulus were on the same page about something, not that they'd ever admit to that, and it was perhaps the start of everything changing as they slowly began realizing they were maybe a little more alike than they thought.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have the time of my life," she snarked, slamming her glass down.
And the time of her life she had. Time whizzed by as Aurelia danced away with the girls, gave a horrible rendition of Queen's Somebody to Love with Sirius (she could normally sing well, if only she wasn't so drunk), did shots with James and Peter before Remus put an end to that.
"But Remus," she whined, pouting lightly. "Life's too short, live a little."
"I'm not sure how you haven't passed out," he said dryly. "I'm taking you back to Gryffindor tower and having Lily put you straight to bed."
"I'm scared to sleep," she confessed quietly in her drunken state.
It was a perpetual fear of hers, one she never admitted, but she had lost all control of her words by now. She put on a brave face and smiled but she was so god damn tired of being so normal all the time, she was broken and traumatized, scarred by the faces that haunted her dreams. Remus could understand to an extent, once a month he was forced to face the moon and come face to face with his inner monster. But he didn't understand it, not really. He didn't have the same battle with his inner demons, living with the constant thought that after seeing so much death, wouldn't it eventually corrupt her? And she was so alone in this world with no one to turn to, no one to bear the weight of the world with.
She didn't ever stop to think of the grey eyed boy who was busy staring off the railing of the Astronomy tower, a used cigarette absentmindedly twirling between his fingers. They never drew the parallels between each other, realizing that they both were battling with so many inner demons, both being corrupted beyond imagination, both were their own greatest downfalls, and both so alone in the world.
No they were too busy hating each other that they never realized how similar they were to each other, but in perhaps the most tragic ways.
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September 5th, 1976 -
"How are you not hungover?" Marlene demanded, letting out a light groan.
Aurelia shrugged lightly, "I never seem to be affected by alcohol."
She was amazed at how easily the lie slipped between her teeth. The truth was she had been sneaking Sleeping Draughts and Firewhiskey from Fleamont's store all summer, as the war outside the castle walls was growing, so were her restless nights. The bags under her eyes grew with every passing day, her skin deathly pale, the purplish-black bruises surrounding her eyes stark in contrast. Not that anyone knew of course, she meticulously woke up before any of her roommates, disappearing to the bathroom to dab concealer under her eyes.
She presented a carefully crafted truth to her friends, sure they saw her tear stained cheeks once in a while, but she was careful to surround her bed with silencing charms every night to dampen her screams. It was frequent she woke up her throat raw and aching, crescent shaped marks in her palms. Concealment charms were her best friend as she carefully built up a facade to ensure she didn't damper anyone's mood with her suffering.
"You're fortunate it's a Sunday," Lily looked the fifth years up and down disapprovingly. "You're in no right mind to go to classes, you were partying far too much last night."
"Carpe diem Lils!" Aurelia grinned, waving off the redhead. "Marls will be right to go after breakfast and a hangover cure. You're just stuck with a grump until then."
"Shut up Lia," the curly haired girl grumbled, swatting her blindly with a pillow.
"Alice has gone to get you breakfast," Lily informed Marlene. "Since you two have decided to sleep through the whole meal."
"Once you're done eating, I'll give you a hangover cure," Aurelia added. "I have a stash in my trunk."
"Do I want to know?" Lily sighed.
"She lets the boys have them if they give her something good in return," Marlene tattled.
"Works like a charm every time," Aurelia grinned.
"Oh for Merlin's sake Lia!"
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September 9th, 1976 -
"One would think you haven't slept in a week," Regulus commented as he watched Aurelia yawn for what felt like the thousandth time.
He wasn't far from the truth, between her restless nights and spending the last night out in the Shrieking Shack, she truly hadn't slept in forever.
"What makes you say that?" she deadpanned, stifling yet another yawn.
"You're insufferable," he huffed.
"You're deplorable!" she retorted.
"I'm surprised you even know what that means."
"Last time I checked, I've been first in our year for the last four years," she countered. "I'm sure mummy and daddy weren't too pleased with that, coming in second to a blood traitor."
"At least I have parents," he snapped cruelly, and she paused, reeling back as if he slapped her face.
Regulus faltered ever so slightly, knowing he had crossed a boundary. No one brought up Aurelia's parents ever, it was an unspoken rule. As a second year, she had sent a seventh year to the hospital wing because he brought them up.
Aurelia held her chin up highly, her shoulders squared, "At least I could say I come from a good family and had wonderful parents, can't say the same about you. I think we've patrolled enough for tonight."
With that she sped off, putting as much distance as possible between her and Regulus, who stood unsurely, wanting to call out and apologize as he bit his tongue.
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"I'm about to murder your brother," she bit out angrily as soon as she marched through the common room.
"Get in line" Sirius muttered as she flopped down on the couch next to him.
"What'd he do this time?" Remus sighed, putting down his book.
And as she explained, the anger rose in James's face, he appeared ready to storm out the common room and confront Regulus himself.
"James drop it, it's fine," she rolled her eyes. "It's just Regulus Bloody Black."
"It's not fine Lia!" he nearly shouted, garnering the attention of Lily who was across the common room with Marlene, helping the younger girl on some assignment.
"Could you tone it down Potter?" she snapped.
"I cannot!" he cried. "Not when Regulus Black is making my sister cry."
"Lia's crying?" Marlene frowned in concern, immediately finding her best friend, checking her over.
"I'm not crying James, stop being so dramatic," she huffed. "Black just said something about my parents, I snapped at him and left patrol early and now James is about to go throttle him."
"While I echo your sentiments," Lily began as James looked at her in surprise. "Oh stop looking at me like that, that kid needs a good throttling! No offense Black."
"None taken!" Sirius grinned, waving a hand lazily.
"You going out and fighting with him won't do anything."
"He realized he crossed a line," Aurelia quietly pointed out.
"I find that hard to believe," Peter scoffed.
"I saw the look on his face after he said it, he looked like he wished he could take it back."
It was then Aurelia found herself sympathizing with Regulus Black once again, twice in the span of the week. It was then everything slowly began changing, microscopically, as two opposites found one string tying them together.