hi sunshines :-)
happy tuesday!!! here's another chapter!
let me know what you guys think (also thank you for your comments on the last chapter. they were so nice i truly love u all)
enjoy!!! <3
(p.s. writing this chapter made me so sad???? for no reason???? i have an such an emotional attachment to this cast byeeeee)
The next days fly by.
And when I say fly, I mean it.
For the past week, Savannah and I have spent pretty much every minute of every day with Charlie and Owen, and Jer has been hanging around more than he had been previously.
If we're not in their apartment, they're in ours. We all know our time is dwindling fast, and none of us bother to mention it. Every day is simply spent soaking in the much needed company.
We went out and explored Vancouver a bit, considering we didn't get to do much of that with our busy filming schedules. We went on a lot of walks and hikes, lots of calm but very fun excursions.
Well, calm might not be the way to put it. With the three of those boys around, nothing is calm.
The calmest and quietist the boys are, is when they're all sitting around and singing or playing instruments. Charlie's guitar has been strummed pretty much nonstop this week. But let me tell you, there is nothing more therapeutic than sitting in the living room while these boys are singing softly. The amount of times I've fallen asleep to their gentle voices is insane, and I'm always woken up the next minute with them singing some 90s rock song.
And now, it's December eighth. Tonight is the cast party, which Kenny rented out a club for, and tomorrow, everyone is flying back to their respective hometowns. Everyone to a different city and, or, country.
It's just past three in the morning when I'm jolted awake by the sound of my door opening and closing a few seconds later. I sit up in a haze, seeing a creepy and dark figure standing by my door. The only source of light in the room is coming from the moon, so I really can't see much.
"Which one are you?" I ask, my voice raspy from sleep. It's either Charlie, Owen, or Savannah. Well, I guess it could be any random stranger, but I hope that's not the case.
"Owen," I hear my favorite blonde's voice and I instantly relax.
"Everything okay?" I ask with a yawn, my eyes slightly adjusting to the darkness.
"I just..I...I woke up, and I...I think I," he stumbles furiously over his words, making it clear to me that something is wrong with him.
"Hey, come here," I coo, lifting my blanket to signal for him to lay down. When he walks closer to my bed, the moon shines directly on his face and I notice streaks from now-dry tears. "Take a deep breath. Come here, bubs. What's up?"
He crawls right into bed with me, snuggling himself into my blankets. He lets out a loud sigh, making me frown.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask quietly, instantly reaching down to smooth out his long hair. I know it soothes him, it always has, and it gives me something to do with my hands besides just sitting there with them in my lap.
Owen lets out another sigh, this one longer, and throws his head back into a pillow.
"I'm sorry for waking you up," he mumbles, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Don't apologize, it's okay. Wanna tell me what's wrong?"
His breathing has regulated itself a bit more, but I can tell he's feeling anxious.
"I woke up from an anxiety attack, and I couldn't stop crying and freaking out. I don't know why," he admits, seemingly ashamed of his actions.
"Are you nervous about anything?" I question, adjusting my position so I'm now laying on my side and facing him, my left hand tucked under my cheek as my right hand hooks around his head. I gently tangle my fingers through the hair by his ear.
"I don't know. Kinda," he shrugs. "I don't like change, and I know that after we leave here, everything's gonna change and I hate that. I love how life is going right now, and I don't want anything to be different."
I pout my lips at his words, letting my thumb graze over his cheek.
"Things are gonna be different, but that doesn't mean they'll be bad," I respond, not really knowing what he wants or needs to hear right now. "I know change sucks, I hate it too, but you and I both know that every single one of us is going to stay friends."
"I'm not ready to leave you guys," he mumbles so softly that I almost didn't hear it. I feel my heart pang in my chest, sending a sharp feeling to every nerve in my body. My eyes well with tears as I stare at the side of my favorite person's face. He's never really been this vulnerable with me. He doesn't talk much about his emotions at all...it's usually me that over-shares. I'm glad he's opening up to me about this.
"It's only for a little bit, sunshine," I remind him, keeping my hand resting on his cheek. He sighs, reaching his hand up to grab mine.
"I like when you call me that," he whispers, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Makes me feel important."
"You are so important, sunshine," I grin, deciding to be over dramatic with my next response. "The world doesn't turn without you."
"Shut up," he lets out a chuckle, squeezing my hand as he does so. At least I made him smile.
I smile softly to myself in victory, knowing that I made him feel at least a little better.
"Remember when you said I can't get rid of you," I ask.
"Mhm."
"I'm holding you accountable to that. I expect you on my doorstep the second you're back in LA."
"Deal," he smirks. "You think we'll be okay?"
"We'll be alright," I nod, pressing a firm kiss to the side of his head. He sighs in content, letting his head lean into mine.
"I'm still sorry I woke you up. I just...I didn't know what to do. I was feeling really anxious, and you somehow always make me feel better," he speaks after a few seconds of silence. "You have this overwhelmingly calming presence."
I feel another pang in my chest. I think back to when he left Vancouver a few weeks ago, and Charlie told me that Owen and I control each other's emotions. There is absolutely some truth to that...Owen always makes me feel better. He also doesn't annoy me the way Charlie does.
"That's what I'm here for," I smile. I'm the mom friend, it's my job to comfort people. I'm sure that's all he means. "Do you wanna stay in here tonight or go back to your room?"
"Would you mind if I stay?" He looks over at me, our noses brushing together for a second and my heart pangs for the third time.
"No, you can stay," I shake my head, nonchalantly placing some distance between the two of us. "I like the company."
My eyes flicker briefly to his lips, which are just inches away from my own, and my heart starts to race. There is not one valid reason that I should be thinking about kissing this man right now. Absolutely not. But here I am.
His lips just look so soft.
In all honesty, I haven't stopped thinking about the night we kissed a couple of months ago. From what I can remember, he's a fantastic kisser and I've honestly been dying to refresh my memory.
No. No I haven't.
It is just four in the morning and I am delusional and touch deprived. I do not want to kiss my friend and coworker.
I very quickly turn my body to the side and lay down on my back, staring at the ceiling. I feel Owen's eyes on me for a second, and before I know it, he's curling himself into my body and nuzzling his way under my arm.
I let out a loud laugh, not having expected that from him. "You're a total little spoon, aren't you?" I ask, still laughing. His mouth, which is resting near my neck, curls into a smile.
"Maybe," he responds innocently.
"Well that's stupid. I like being the little spoon," I complain in a teasing manner. "Can we switch? I'm always the little."
"No. You always get to be. Just let me have this one thing," he mumbles, already close to falling asleep. "We only have one more night together, you can be the little spoon tomorrow."
"Oh, so now this is a regular thing? You're inviting yourself into my bed one day in advance? How respectful of you," I smile, running my hand over his back.
"Mhm. I try my best."
"Goodnight, Owen," I shake my head, making myself a little more comfortable against him. He turns around, his back against my chest and my lips fall into an involuntary pout of admiration. That was far too cute of him.
"Night, Jo."
•••
When I wake up in the morning, I'm laying on my back with my limbs sprawled out and Owen's body is half on top of mine. One of his arms is laid out across my body, his head tilted up on my shoulder. He has the quietest snores falling from his mouth. He looks ten times more relaxed now than he did when he stumbled into my room last night.
I'm glad he came to me for comfort after everything. I like feeling needed.
I lay in bed for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling as my body fully wakes up. Owen starts stirring probably about twenty minutes after I wake up. I don't know what time it is.
I look down, watching as his eyes blink open.
"Hello," he mumbles, his eyes fluttering shut again.
"Morning, sunshine," I respond. His lips form into a soft smile at the nickname. As much as I use sunshine as a term of endearment for all of my friends, Owen is the person I truly mean it for. He's a true sunshine in my life. Somehow making every day a little brighter. I don't know how he does it.
"How are you feeling?" I ask, hinting to last night without actually mentioning it.
"Much better," he answers. "Thank you. For everything."
"I'm always here to help, buddy," I grin, teasingly messing up his hair. He chuckles, digging his head into the area between my neck and shoulder. "You need to shower."
"Is that your way of telling me I stink?" He asks, lips brushing over my neck lightly. I hope he can't feel the goosebumps that just spread over my body.
"No, it's my way of telling you that you're greasy," I respond. "But now that you mention it...."
"Shhh," he shushes me, placing a hand over my mouth. I stick my tongue out and lick his hand, regretting it instantly.
"Dude, your hand is literally salty," I make a 'yuck' sound, shaking my head in disgust.
"I blame that on the tears," he jokes, smiling to himself. I frown. "Don't look so sad, Josephine. I'm alright now! Thanks to you!"
"I'm pretty good, huh?" I smirk, finally sitting up in bed. I adjust my shirt that had ridden up in the night. "What are you going to do without me? You're losing your security blanket, big dog."
"I will simply call you in the middle of the night," he says as a joke, but I know that he probably will do that.
"I might just keep my phone off of do not disturb just for you."
"Oh, wow. I must be real special," he grins, going to stand up from my bed.
"The most special," I nod firmly. Little does he know.
"You know...you could use a shower too. Looking a little greasy up there," he circles his finger around the crown or his head. I scoff, throwing a pillow right at him and he laughs.
"You're a dick," I tell him. "I was planning on showering, if you'd ever leave my fucking room."
"Trying to get rid of me so fast?" He smirks from my doorway.
"Yes. Out."
"Fine, fine," his bony hands go up in surrender. "I'll see you later."
He leaves my room, closing the door behind him as he goes. I hop out of bed, standing up with my hands on my hips as I look around my room. I need to pack the rest of my things up today.
I had packed a lot of big things and a majority of my clothes already, I shipped the things I wouldn't need back to LA. All that's left is whatever I can fit in my suitcase and carry-on, which is still a lot.
Somehow, I've accumulated a lot of shit over the past four months. I don't even remember spending money on these things, but I guess it happened.
I shake my head at myself and head into the bathroom where I take a super quick shower. When I get out, I notice that Charlie is sitting on our couch and strumming his guitar.
His eyes meet mine and he stops, waving at me. "Hi, Jo. Another sleepover last night?"
I don't react, aside from the middle finger I give him while I walk to my room, clutching my towel around my body.
I change into a pair of shorts and a big hoodie, wanting to be in something comfortable until I have to start getting ready for the cast party.
Once I have myself dressed, I grab my phone and head out to the living room where Charlie is still strumming away.
I sit right in the couch next to him, suddenly feeling very sad when I remember that this is our last morning together like this. Today is our last full day together.
I pull my legs into my chest, resting my chin on my knees with a sigh. Charlie starts playing a familiar song, and my eyes immediately cloud with tears when I recognize it. His voice rings out in the small living room and a single tear slips down my cheek.
Charlie starts singing out the lyrics to Good Riddance by Green Day, strumming his guitar as he does so.
I sniffle quietly, watching as Savannah wanders out of her room. She doesn't say anything, but she frowns when she hears the song. She immediately comes to sit on the edge of the couch next to me, hugging my body to hers when she sees the tears in my eyes.
The girl who has slowly but surely become one of my best friends presses a kiss to the top of my head, rocking us side to side as she joins in singing with Charlie.
As if on queue, Owen walks right through the front door. His gaze lands on me first, eyes widening when he sees my state. He pouts his lips at me, walking around to sit on the coffee table right in front of me.
Our knees are touching, and I feel his hands rest on my knees, making me look up at him. He gives me a small smile, and I try to return it but more tears just end up falling as I laugh at myself.
This is so embarrassing, crying in front of everyone like this, but I just can't help it. My heart is aching at the thought of us not all living together starting tomorrow.
I feel Savannah sniffle and I adjust myself so she can squeeze on the couch with us. I let out a shaky breath, listening to my three closest friends sing the song. I can't sing along, I don't think my heart will allow it. I would just sob even harder.
The end of the song approaches, and I look up at Owen. He has tears in those beautiful blue eyes of his. Our gazes lock as he sings the final lyrics with Sav and Charlie, "I hope you had the time of your life."
"Joey, Joey, Joey," Charlie speaks, ending his guitar playing. "I figured it would make you emotional, but not like this!"
He laughs, pulling me into his side as he presses several violent kisses against my temple, making me laugh out loud through my stupid tears.
"I'm sorry! In my defense, my period starts in a few days so I'm extra emotional!" I defend myself. It's true. I get sad when my period approaches, and ending an era as great as the Julie and the Phantoms era doesn't help.
"Well, let's keep going then," Charlie smirks and adjusts his guitar in his hands. I watch him skeptically, wondering what he's going to play next.
As the strumming begins, my eyes are once again clouded with tears. He did this one on purpose.
Owen smiles when he recognizes the song, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.
"Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walking blues. Climb the fence, books and pens...I can tell that we are gonna be friends," Charlie sings softly, and none of the rest of us have the heart to sing along.
I rest my head on Charlie's shoulder, feeling Savannah do the same to me. I reach out, grabbing Owen's hand. I gently pull him, signaling for him to come closer.
He suddenly stands up and turns around, sitting right on my lap. I instantly wrap my arms around his waist, feeling his hands rest over mine. I feel calmer already. My sunshine. I let out a very shaky breath, resting my chin on his shoulder. He intertwines our fingers, swaying to the song.
I can't be bothered to care that he's fully squishing me. I'd welcome it any day.
Charlie looks over at the three of us as he sings, grinning widely at the sight of Owen on my lap and Savannah leaning on me. I feel like a true mother, comforting her children. In reality, they're the ones comforting me.
"Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends...." Charlie strums the last string in the song.
"I hate you for doing this to me," I sniffle, fake glaring at Charlie. He laughs, wrapping his arms around all three of us. Savannah's head is squished under his arms, but she doesn't mind.
"I love you guys," Charlie tells us, making me tear up yet again.
"I love you all so much," I breathe out, feeling Owen's hand comfortingly rubbing over mine.
"You guys made playing a villain fun," Sav admits, earning small laughs from all of us. "I love you guys."
"You guys made playing a gay ghost fun," Owen chimes in. "Just kidding, it would've been fun without you guys too. But I do love you all."
The four of us sit in silence for a few minutes, simply soaking in every second of each other's company. My legs are almost asleep from Owen's weight when he gets up. As uncomfortable as it was, I miss his presence instantly when he stands.
I am going to be absolutely, royally fucked when we're in different states. As much as I've been a comfort blanket to him for the past few months, he's been even more of a comfort to me.
I can't believe it's only been a few months of knowing each other. It feels like it's been years. Things are going to get a lot harder when I can't walk across the hall just to see his smiling face to brighten up my day.
He's a true sunshine in my life.