There I was, staring at the dark sky, thinking about the consequences of my actions, thinking about what murderous things are about to happen in Hogwarts and I am to blame for it. I was standing in the Astronomy Tower, despite of Draco's numerous pleas, I left my dorm. I broke my promise. Something I never do. I couldn't sleep for the life of me. Hermione and Ginny had been trying to talk to me. I was looking down at the mountains when suddenly Harry and Dumbledore apparated next to me.
"We need to get you to the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey will heal you" Harry said as he made Dumbledore sit.
"Professor? Harry?" I asked as I went beside them.
"W-What happened?" I asked and Dumbledore looked at me.
"Severus. Severus is who I need. Go find him, both of you, quickly and speak to no one else" he said weakly.
"I-I could help you, sir" I said but he shook his head.
We were about to leave when we heard the door open. I looked at Harry and he looked at Dumbledore.
"Hide yourself below, both of you. Quickly. Do not come up, no matter what" he said and I looked at Harry.
"Harry, we can't leave him here" I said as I knew what was going to happen to him and Harry grabbed my wrist and we went below and stood there in silence.
"Good evening, Draco" Dumbledore said and my heart dropped.
"What brings you here, on this fine spring evening?" he asked and Draco drew his wand.
"Who else is here? I heard you talking" Draco said. The way he sounded; anyone could tell he was in fear.
"I often talk aloud myself, find it quite extraordinary" Dumbledore replied calmly and Harry went ahead to see Dumbledore clearly and I followed.
"Draco... you are no assassin" Dumbledore said while I saw Draco. He had his wand still aimed at him.
"How do you know what I am? I have done things that would shock you" Draco replied angrily.
"Like cursing Katie Bell and hoping she'd bear a cursed necklace to me? Replacing a bottle of mead with a poisoned one?" Dumbledore asked and Harry looked at me.
He looked for any disappointment in my face, since the person I love did all these horrible things.
"He trusts me. I was chosen" Draco said and pulled his sleeve up and Harry widened his eyes.
He looked at me once again for some expression on my face.
None.
He looked at me with disappointment in his eyes. I looked at him with guilt all over my face. I knew I did wrong and I knew I messed it up.
"Then I shall make it easy for you" Dumbledore said and pulled out his wand.
Draco quickly disarmed him and Harry pulled out his wand. We heard the door open and I pulled out my wand. I knew it were the Death Eaters.
"You're not alone. There are others. How?" Dumbledore said taking a few steps forward.
"The vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement. It has a twin in Borgin & Burkes. They form a passage. I've been mending it" Draco replied his wand still pointing at Dumbledore.
"Ingenious. Draco... years ago I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices. Please let me help you" Dumbledore pleaded.
Draco had been passing the time. He didn't want to do it. I knew he didn't.
"I don't want your help. Don't you understand? I have to do this. I have to kill you or-or he is gonna kill her" Draco said crying and Dumbledore was shocked.
Harry looked at me again and I didn't budge my gaze from Draco.
"Well done, Draco" Bellatrix said and kissed Draco's shoulder, which Draco didn't like a bit. He was disgusted that his aunt was proud that he was about to kill someone.
"Do it! Kill him" Bellatrix said and Draco looked down. He saw me and his face lost all his colors. He told me not be out of bed. He told me to stay in my dorm. He asked for a promise and I broke it.
I saw Draco, he was crying and his hand was shaking. I knew he didn't want to do it. If I would've been up there, then he wouldn't do it. I had to go up, I didn't care what would happen to me, he needs me.
I turned around to go up, but the minute I did, Snape stopped me. He put his finger on my lip, gesturing that Harry and I need to keep our mouths shut. Harry pointed his wand at him but I pushed his hand down. I joined my hands and pleaded in front of Snape.
He walked up the stairs and said, "No!"
Draco quickly turned around and dropped his hand.
It was quiet for a moment. No one saying a word. No one was moving. Draco looked at me once again and I had tears in my eyes, so did he. He shook his head in disappointment and looked at Snape.
"Severus, please" Dumbledore pleaded.
Why was he pleading? Snape was there to help him, wasn't he?
"Avada Kedavra" he said and Dumbledore fell off the Astronomy Tower.
I gasped and Harry quickly covered my mouth.
How could he do that? I know I pleaded him to help Draco, but I thought he'd do something other than killing Dumbledore. I though he was on our side. But I guess, Sirius was right. He told us in our 4th year-
No one stops being a Death Eater.
Draco looked at me one last time, while my gaze was fixed at where Dumbledore stood.
Harry and I froze for a few minutes, we didn't move, nothing. The both of us had our gazes on the floor above us.
Harry ran behind the Death Eaters and I stopped him.
"Harry, no!" I yelled but he didn't listen.
My first thought was Dumbledore. I ran to out of the tower and towards where his body had fallen. A few students had gathered around him already.
"Move!" I said and they all turned around. I had been crying already and all night. The minute they saw me, they made a way.
I ran to his body and kneeled down near him. I put my forehead on his and let a tear fall on him.
I could bring him back, couldn't I?
I waited for him to flutter open his eyes but nothing. I tried again but nothing. My tries were unsuccessful. I looked up and saw Harry kneel down near me. He knew that I could bring him back that was the only reason that he went behind the Death Eaters and left me with Dumbledore. He looked at me with hope in his eyes, I shook my head no and he broke down.
Dumbledore was like a father to Harry. He meant everything to him. I put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him in for a hug. My hand was on his neck, while his was on my waist and the other on Dumbledore's chest. The pair of us cried while the whole school gathered and put their wands up in the air as a tribute.
The next day, we all gathered for Dumbledore's funeral. The whole night, we all spent it with Harry in his dorm. Everyone had been crying. The castle would never be the same. Never. He may have been a little cruel with me regarding Rose and Austin, yet I knew whatever he did was to keep me safe.
Well, one way or the other.
He was buried on an island near the Black Lake. Everyone had tears in their eyes. Everyone took turns to speak at the funeral. Harry was speaking when I looked around to see who had come.
Someone caught my eye. I could recognize that white-blonde hair from miles away. He was standing way back, careful not to be seen by anyone. I wanted to run up to him, but I also knew that it'll put his life at risk.
"Do you think he would've done it?" Hermione asked when we reached the Astronomy Tower. I was sitting with Ron with my head on his shoulder.
"Draco?" she asked looking at me. I looked down in guilt. I hadn't said a word since last night.
"No" Harry answered for me, "He was lowering his wand. In the end, it was Snape. It had always been him" he completed and I couldn't wrap my head around that incident.
I was wrong about Snape. Dumbledore trusted him. And he even threatened Draco that if he would fail and something would happen to me, he would kill Draco. He was my godfather. I pleaded and he helped Draco. For me. He hates Voldemort, he made it clear the day he told me that my mother was killed by him. Yes, he was an ex–Death Eater. That's the point, he was an ex–Death Eater. Then why did he do it? But I guess, I was wrong.
"Come on, Liv" Ron said snapping me out of my thoughts.
We went back to our dorms and packed for the holidays. Harry, Hermione, Ron and I would start our search for the Horcruxes soon.
It had been days after the holidays started. Hermione and a few members of the Order were living here. Luckily, the Burrow had been repaired and we were able to go back to our lives.
Well, not totally.
I was sitting in my room, fiddling with my mum's necklace. Hermione and I had done some research on the type of stone it was. It was a rose quartz.
Rose Quartz is the stone of universal love. It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love. Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace. Calming and reassuring, it helps to comfort in times of grief. Rose Quartz dispels negativity. It encourages self-forgiveness and acceptance invoking self-trust and self-worth.
Love. Unconditional Love.
All at this moment I could think about was Draco. I hadn't seen him since Dumbledore died. I hadn't talked to him since he was in the hospital. My heart ached for him, how he had to go through so much for me, how he had to do something so bloody cruel and evil for me.
I kept the necklace aside and pulled out my bag. It had a few photographs of Draco and me. Blaise had clicked those pictures. They were moving pictures. I was eating the food while Draco kept making weird faces at me, which I was totally unaware of. The other picture was when I realized he was doing that, so I hit him on his shoulder, while he had his hands up to protect himself. I looked at the other pictures, we were happy in all of those. My eyes filled with tears and I sobbed quietly.
There was a knock at the door. I quickly wiped my tears, put the pictures down and wore the necklace back.
"Come in" I said in a croaky voice.
"Oh, Freddie" I said as he sat down next to me.
"How are you feeling, love?" he asked as he rubbed my back.
I pursed my lips in a thin line from controlling myself to break down. I had been strong for everyone. Ginny was worried for Harry. Mum and Dad were worried for Bill. Hermione and Ron had been worried for each other. Fred and George for me. I had been everybody's light for too long. I had been assuring everyone that everything will be okay.
Fred and George were the only two individuals who knew everything about me and Draco. So, when after months someone asked me how I was feeling, no matter how much I tried, I couldn't control it.
I broke down. For the first time in months. I hugged Fred and cried like a little baby. I'm pretty sure everyone that was in the house would've heard me. But for once, I didn't care. I didn't care how loud I was sounding; I didn't care what the others thought of me, I didn't care who was hearing me cry.
Nothing mattered to me right now than the safety of Draco. The thought of him being in his own house, filled with Death Eaters was eating me alive. I didn't even start thinking about the punishment that Voldemort would've given Draco because he didn't complete his task. Snape killed Dumbledore and not Draco.
"I don't know, Freddie" I said my head resting on his shoulder.
"I don't know what to feel and how to feel. The only thing that I think about right now is how my Draco is doing. I cannot help but think how much he went through for me" I completed while he stroked my hair.
"Lunch!" Mum shouted from downstairs and I pulled away from the hug.
Fred looked at me and wiped my tears. He cupped my face with his hands and said, "I know that much that he would be missing you more than you miss him right now"
I smiled weakly and the both of us went down for lunch. I couldn't get a single piece in.
"I'll be back early today, mum" I said and she nodded.
I was still working at Andy's. Dad was reluctant to let me go, since everything is upside down right now. But I promised him that I would be okay and that I would be back early than I usually did.
I got ready and apparated to the restaurant. I had just been playing the piano today. No singing.
What was there to sing?
Andy didn't seem to bother that much when he saw me in such a condition. He let me be.
I packed up and went to my house to pick up a few things. I still had a ton of clothes here. I didn't have much at the Burrow since a lot of our belongings had been burnt in the fire.
I packed up my bag and went downstairs. I was about to open the door when a voice from behind me said. The voice I feared to hear.
"Hello, my lovely daughter"
I swallowed thickly and pulled out my wand discreetly and slowly turned around.
"Don't. Don't even think about it" he said and ushered me to put my wand down.
I started breathing heavily. I had no idea what to do, I had no idea how I was going to escape from him, I had no idea what he was gonna do to me or with me.
"I cannot stand being here" he said coming closer, "Let's go, shall we?" he completed rhetorically.
He grabbed me tightly by my shoulders, his nails already digging into my skin and apparated us somewhere.
~~
Two months.
It has been two months since I am here in the Malfoy Manor. He has me hidden here from everyone's eyes. No one knows that I am here. Not even Draco or his mother.
The only way I know is that this is Malfoy Manor is that I hear Narcissa shout the house elves for work, I hear voices of different people in the meetings that have been going on downstairs.
I have been in this dark room for two months. It just a room, nothing else.
A plain fucking room, with absolutely nothing in it. No bed, no windows, no lights, no chairs, no closets, no bathrooms, nothing. I lie on the cold floors the whole time. The only way I know that it has been two months is I had been counting the hours I have been here and then using math to know what day or date it could be. That was the only thing for me to do.
And it goes without say, but I'll still say it, he took my fucking wand. It still didn't matter as I could do wandless magic now even without my wand near me. But I couldn't take any chance.
My morning starts with my father coming in my room and cruciating me for hours. My punishment for being away from him. For hiding myself from him. Then he leaves and if he wishes then and only then, I am served some food. It could be any part of the day. Sometimes he would bring in breakfast that would've left untouched because I didn't trust him. Sometimes the house elves would bring in something to eat.
I used to eat their food as Voldemort wouldn't bother talking to them and telling them to mix some poison in my food. But why would he? He knows who I am. What powers I hold. He knows everything.
And then the whole day I would just lie on the cold floor like a lifeless body.
I had been threatened, just like Draco had been. I was threatened that if I tried to escape the Manor or even leave the room, then everyone I hold dear will be long gone.
Today, Voldemort came in with some parchment and ink in his hand.
"Today, there will be no cruciating" he said as he summoned a chair and sat on it.
He handed me the parchment and ink and said that I have to write Draco that I have ran away from everything, that I was a coward and that he should've not fallen in love with me and all that nonsense.
A way to punish him for his incomplete task.
Then he told me to write a letter to anyone from the Weasley family and telling the same thing, that I have ran away and that they have no way to win and weaken their morale.
He left the room saying that I won't be able to write anything else apart from what he told me to write, that he had some sort of enchanted parchment.
I picked up the quill and wrote my letter to Fred.
Dear Fred Weasley,
You all are probably wondering where I have been these past two months. I am sorry to inform you but I have run away. I cannot face the Dark Lord; he is too powerful and he has an idea about me.
There is no winning to him. We had already lost the war when we lost Dumbledore.
I cannot tell you where I am, because if I do then you'll come to find me, which is what I don't want.
I will never return. Never.
There's no need to find me.
Olivia Montgomery.
I didn't feel like being cunning and leaving hint for him to find in the letter, their lives are already in danger because of me. I cannot risk it more. Though I did sneak in one hint, hoping that he would find out and tell the others.
Now, Draco.
To Dear Draco,
I shouldn't have been writing you because it's too risky. But I feel that you should know that you will not find me after the war, even when the Dark Lord wins.
See, I have run away to the US. I am a coward. I cannot face him. He is too powerful now. Nothing and nobody can defeat him.
Do not try to find me. You will not succeed.
I sometimes wish that I didn't meet you and that if I would've had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't have stumbled into you and would've walked in the other direction.
Maybe, we found forever at the wrong time and maybe someday, if time permits, it will pull us back together again.
Maybe.
Olivia Montgomery.
I handed the letters to the house elves and cried.
I was lying on the ground when I heard a piano playing. After months I heard someone else voice.
It was none other than Draco.
A/N – Please play 'Before you go' by Lewis Capaldi
I fell by the wayside, like everyone else
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you
But I was just kidding myself
Our every moment, I start to replace
'Cause now that they're gone
All I hear are the words that I needed to say
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, time can heal but this won't
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said
To make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said
To make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Was never the right time, whenever you called
Went little, by little, by little until there was nothing at all
Our every moment, I start to replay
But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, time can heal but this won't
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said
To make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said
To make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Would we be better off by now
If I'd let my walls come down?
Maybe I guess we'll never know
You know, you know
Before you go
Was there something I could've said
To make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said
To make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
I cried listening to his voice. He thinks it's his fault I did that. I could hear him cry as well and that's when I realized that I was in the room next to the piano room that was on the second floor and just above Draco's.
I didn't sleep that night. Not that I did anyways. I cried and I cried, which I did always.
I couldn't help it anymore. I needed to get out of here. I needed to see Draco. Just see him, I didn't want to talk. Just one look at him would get me by.
"Alohomora" I said and the door opened.
The dark hallways weren't making anything easy. There was no sound in the house, only the wooden floor creaking because of my footsteps. I was about to walk down the stairs when a hand grabbed my shoulder.
Damn it.