Sand clings to my body as I shift, staring out at the horizon. I watch as the sun awakens from the dark shell of night. Different shades of pink, orange, and red reflect off the never-ending waters. The string of my bow makes a low musical thumping sound as my fingers pick at it. My insides feel twisted and heavy.
We lost so many.
A tear tumbles down my cheek as I'm reminded of what is forever lost. Now is the time to mourn, when no one is around to see and no one can think less of a future Tribe Leader. It is, though, harder to mourn when I didn't even glance at our Wall of the Dead. It doesn't feel real unless I see her name up there.
Nan-ah.
The Wall of the Dead is a large block of wood that stands tall behind the Tribe Leader's houses. When one of our people die, someone who had been close to them carves their name into it. The wood is worn out and thinning with each name chipped onto it. There's only one name on there that would send me into a spiral of sadness. I don't want to believe it's true. Not after how I treated her...
I scratch at my leg, making the sudden itchy feeling disappear as I push the guilt-stained memories from the forefront of my brain. The water ripples, rolling peacefully onto the sand. The ocean dances with the colors of the sunrise; a dance of sadness and a dance of rebirth. Last night's terrors seem to worry the sun not, but it's as if it calls out to me that everything is okay and this is the circle of life, that it's natural.
Yet it is what I loathe.
I stand and wipe the dripping water from my cheeks, ready to turn back and hunt for food to get my mind off everything. The wolves would be used for clothing and weapons, but won't be eaten. They're almost sacred to the island, an unspoken promise with the wolves. However, it seems we taste the best to them. The attacks aren't always like this; we never have had that many people die from the wolves. That being said, I can't go home without bringing something back with me, especially after the confrontation Tani-mah and I had last night.
The water makes an unnatural moving sound behind me. The splash is too random in the water's patterns of pushing and pulling the sand on the shore. It can't be nothing, and, for a moment, my heart leaps into a frenzy in my heavy chest. What if it's the boy?
A high-pitched squeal sends a chill up my bones.
That doesn't sound like him.
I spin to see a large, slick-looking fish stuck in the shallow, waves smashing into it as it slaps the surface with its tail desperately. Its gray-blue skin shines in the sunlight, a squeal escaping from it like it's calling for help, calling for me.
I can't help myself when I take a few steps toward it, my urge to protect guiding me. I slip the knife at my hip from its sheath and hold it at arms-length, worried this animal might just be dangerous. I've heard of animals that come from the sea that can also move on land, but I've never heard of an animal like this one.
It squeaks again as a wave knocks it onto its side, before tipping back over onto its belly. Its black eye stares at me, fear tainting its glisten. The animal needs help. My help.
My feet halt right before the water's edge, the foamy brine crawling to touch my toes. We aren't allowed in the water. We can't even touch it. If the Tribe Leaders found out someone had, they'd cast them out to sea on a raft that wouldn't hold up for long. The story of the Sea-Man taught us this.
The Sea-Man's tribe hadn't had enough food to feed the village in weeks. His people were dying of starvation as winter was overtaking the island. Afraid the other hunters wouldn't be able to find food, he ventured into the water. A large fish appeared before him, a green light drifting from its scales and illuminating the crystal-clear water he stood in. The Sea-Man lifted his spear and thrust it into the animal, crimson blood clouding the water. The light faded as a stinging sensation danced across his skin and he lifted the animal from the water. It was as big as his torso, and he smiled at his victory. He thought maybe he had opened a window to a whole new world of food and resources.
As he made his way back to the village, climbing and carrying the dark green fish, he straightened out the story he would tell the Tribe Leaders in case they put him on trial.
He heaved the fish up over the side of the cliff into the Initi Tribe's territory. He pulled himself the rest of the way up the flat rock their village had been chipping away at to widen for years on end. The people that had been walking in the center of the village, winding down as night fell, turned to stop and stare.
Silence draped across the village, the sounds of insects taking over the night as the moon shone down on the Sea-Man and the fish. He carried it to the long Feasting Table the Tribe Leaders came out to see what was the matter. Immediately, their bodies and eyes grew rigid, and they seemed to shake with anger as the fish was placed on the stone table. The Sea-Man excitedly began to explain that he found a new food source, that the water didn't hurt him at all, until one of the Tribe Leaders pulled out his spear and aimed it toward the man. All was silent as the Head Tribe Leader instructed the other Leaders to take the Sea-Man somewhere, to a hidden place along the lower part of the island. There, a raft made of twigs and driftwood waited. They forced him to board it without further explanation, and pushed him out to sea.
The Sea-Man was swallowed by the sea and never was he seen again.
When the Tribe Leaders returned, the fish had disappeared. All that was left was a single dark green scale, glowing bright green in the darkness of the night.
That story has been passed down from generation to generation to set an example for curious, disobedient children. Since I've been alive, I haven't heard of anyone stepping in the water, and I'll credit it all to that story. But in all honesty... I can't help but feel like I'm about to follow in his footsteps.
I stare at the large fish before me, its black eyes seeming to call for help. I glance around, paranoid someone is watching me. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
"No. I can't... I can't help you, fish. I'm not allowed—"
The poor animal slaps the water with its tail and squeals again. It really is too far inland to get back into the deep parts... And it looks gentle... nice... Like it won't hurt me.
My heart squeezes and I take one last look over my shoulder. No one's out here. Not yet. They're all still lined up at the Wall of the Dead, still.
It was so stupid of me to sleep outside. We aren't allowed to be outside past a certain time, when the moon reaches a certain point in the sky. Why didn't Lily-flor wake me up? Maybe if I wasn't out, the wolves wouldn't have come. Even if they did find their way inside some of the homes.
My frame slumps as my bleeding heart wins the battle over my conscience.
I can't let it die out here. Not after all the death I've witnessed this morning.
Placing my knife back into its sheath, I take a deep breath and make sure no one is looking at me. My heart speeds up in my chest. I'm not going to step into the water to kill this animal, but to save it, I tell myself. If anyone catches me, they've got to understand that. I'm not killing it. I'm going to save it...
Please understand.
My breathing is sharp as the cold water swallows my foot. The fish stills as it watches me draw closer. A soft green glow seems to shine off its skin, but it could be the moon reflecting through the clouds and off the water.
I reach out to try to push the large being, its skin rough one way and smooth the other. This mesmerizes me until a sharp pain rushes through my bones, making me let go and almost face-plant into the animal. My eyes dart down to try to comprehend what's going on with my body. It's possible the creature is just heavier than I thought, but why would my body hurt so badly, so suddenly?
An idea strikes me and I move around the back of the fish where the tail is. I wrap my hands around it and pull. Two steps further into the water and my legs begin to ache and itch in an unnatural way. I stop and look down at them, the water clear but dark around me. Reaching down with one hand to rub them, I will the pain to disappear so I can finish this quickly and get back home before someone sees me.
I place my hand back to where I can pull the animal into the water. The liquid making up the sea wraps around my hips and my neck begins to itch. I scratch it violently, irritated by the way my body is reacting to the water, and then pull some more.
The fish's tail wriggles out of my grip as the water reaches my belly button and it swims away. I watch as its top fin gets further from me, feeling proud. I did something good for someone, even if it was an animal.
My legs move so I can get out and finish my hunting, my knife tapping against my hip as the water moves like syrup around me. Sneaking one last glance at the animal, I see it's turned around and headed straight for me. Panic wraps around my stomach. What's happening?
The water seems to part for it as it moves faster and faster. I'm frozen with confusion. Did I misjudge the safeness of this animal?
"I'm an idiot," I reprimand myself as my heartbeat becomes all I can hear.
I try to get away, but my body moves as if it's surrounded by thick mud. Helpless, I watch as it swims toward me, quickly picking up speed. I put my hands out in front of me to brace myself for impact, closing my eyes at the last second. It hits my hands, then collides into my stomach, and I'm flung into the water, the cold liquid squeezing its way up into my nose and weaving its cold fingers through my hair. Opening my eyes makes them sting; all I can see is the gray shadow of the fish hovering above me, the blurriness clarifying the longer I stare.
The water stops stinging my eyes as I stare at the creature, the animal's natural smile seeming to grow menacingly as it stares back, its snout not far from my nose. My lungs burn and my body aches as the dark eyes of the fish gleam in the growing sunlight streaming through the water's dark surface.
I've got you now, Cressa-la.
The voice is in my head, I realize as I gape at the fish. It stares me down, completely still in the chilled water. Is it trying to talk to me? Is this what the water does? Make you crazy?
Now he will have to crown me...
I blink, trying to understand the bizarre situation. Black spots appear around my vision as my body's cry for me to itch it increases.
Breathe, Cressa-la, breathe.
A loud sound thunders through the water, a flash of light flaring in the direction it had come from. I jump, losing the rest of the air in my lungs as they begin to spasm. The fish's smile changes and it seems to grimace as its black eyes widen in shock.
This isn't over, Cressa-la.
It turns around, with one last glance in the direction of where I sit, to head into the deeper, darker parts of the water.