•||Ch5: Too Far on a Depressed Road||•
||Mehrun's POV||
"Mehrun?"
I turned around and looked at him up and down.
One thing I must say.
My cousin has grown so handsomely. Just like those cousins for whom girls cry for in memes.
Plus a nice voice.
Lucky me to have a cousin like this.
"Nice to see you after a long time," I greeted him with a small smile.
"You too. I thought I couldn't get to meet you," He joked with a smile and sat down on the chair which the waiter put at the end of the table.
"I was thinking of visiting phupho next week," I lied to him, smoothly without thinking or hesitation.
"Well my mother will be happy," He replied to me.
I smiled at him in answer and luckily the buffet started right after he finished speaking because I didn't know how to continue conversation with him without feeling awkward.
As much as his handsome face was a treat to eyes, talking to him was making me feel awkward and guilty. Because I knew if our conversation continued, I would lie again and again to make myself look less awkward.
We all got up and went to pick the dish of our choice. I hated doing this, picking and selecting my own food myself.
Trying to be independent isn't easy.
I wanted to do my stuff on my own but ever since childhood it was always someone else helping me with picking and selecting dishes then putting them in front of me. But ever since I got together with Shaizum I had been trying to kill this habit.
Looking at how Mohsin was helping Lariab was making me feel jealous. With a sigh, I picked a plate and looked at the dishes.
"What do you want?" Plate was taken from my hands as I was asked.
I looked at the owner of a nice voice who stood in line with two plates while waiting for me to speak. Outside I didn't have any emotion shown on my face but inside I was feeling relaxed and relieved for not picking my own food.
I told him what I wanted to eat and watched as the line moved forward from starter to main dishes, he filled both plates with starters then moved forward main dishes.
I looked at my handsome cousin as he held both plates, each filled with a few dishes, in one hand steadily and put a selected main dish in both plates using the other hand. I gave him a few more points, other than being handsome and nice, he also had some talents.
"Thank you," I thanked him, taking my plate from him and went back to my seat.
I wished Shaizum was present here and learnt this gentleman's behavior from Saim. Shaizum had never helped me like this which made me more depressed inside.
Everyone returned with their plates but they changed the previous sitting order. Lariab took a seat beside Mohsin and everyone also shuffled.
There was only one seat left when Saim returned and that was beside me. Without any hesitation, he sat beside me and started conservation with the man beside me.
I stopped paying attention to everyone from the corner of my eyes and silently ate my food.
"It's been a long time since I last saw you properly. Honestly I am missing our college days when we all used to make random plans and have more fun," Sana, one of my used-to-be friends, said in a quiet voice.
She was sitting on my other side so I heard clearly what she said. I paused then started eating again without answering her.
Yes, it was all fun when we were college students. Mohsin, Bazil, and Zaib were our seniors and our planners. But slowly I lost interest in those plans because they never had any thrillers.
"We are making plans for a week-long tour to any Northern Areas of Pakistan. Will you join us?" She asked me in the same quiet voice.
"Depends," I gave her a short answer without lifting my head.
Depends on my plans.
Mainly depends on Shaizum.
I was glad and relieved that she didn't ask me more to continue a one sided conversation.
After high tea, everyone went to the Sports Club nearby. I sat on the bench near the field and looked at them playing cricket.
"At the end of this month, there will be a cricket tournament. Will you join us, Saim?" I heard Zaib asking Saim because Saim was playing well.
In my opinion, much better than Shaizum. Shaizum wasn't good at cricket or any other sports except racing. But in racing too he wasn't as good as Haidar and never beat Haidar.
"I'm not good at cricket like you all but I will join," Saim answered him as he stopped another six of his opponent.
This little discussion of the tournament reminded me of Shaizum and his friends. They had also filled in the form of participating in it.
There might be thrill and more fun in the tournament if my former group and new group face each other in the final.
I had heard from Shaizum that this was a week-long tournament.
• • •
After playing cricket that day, Lariab dropped me at my house. Today marked a week since that day and day when I last chatted with Shaizum. Lariab was busy practicing cricket with her group and Shaizum disappeared from my world without messaging me anything this week.
I sent him so many messages but there was no news from him even his friends didn't know. I sighed thinking of the bills of things that I bought with Lariab. If I knew he would make me more depressed this week, I would have spent his money more, adding more 4 or 5+ millions in the bill.
I opened my makeup box and started doing it. I was going to the nightclub where we used to gather.
After getting ready, I picked my bag and went out. I stopped when I was walking past the living room. My parents were sitting there and talking to each other but when they noticed me, they both stopped.
"Are you going out?" Mom asked me, breaking the silence which was making me uncomfortable.
"Yes," I answered her with a smile, which was difficult for me.
I glanced at dad who was sitting in silence and pursed his lips. With a sigh, I walked towards him and kissed his cheeks.
"I will be back before dinner," I told him so he didn't have to worry.
"OK!"
He patted my head with a very small smile. I bid them bye then drove my car to the nightclub.
When I went inside, I stopped as I looked at the table where my group was sitting but with them Shaizum was also sitting. I frowned and quickly walked towards them.
"When did you return?" I asked him, stopping in front of him.
"Day before yesterday," He answered me without feeling any guilt.
Here I was waiting for him for a week and he returned without informing me.
"I heard your cousin returns?" He asked while shaking the glass in his hand.
"Why didn't you inform me or reply to my messages?" I asked him without answering his previous question.
"I forgot," He said, nonchalantly.
Without giving him any more glance, I turned around and walked out of the nightclub. Arguing with Shaizum was pointless at the moment because he was a little high and everyone around him was also high.
Can we still continue?
I asked myself as I sat in the car and looked at the steering blankly.
He had been taking drugs for a long time but it was once or twice in a while, not like his other friends who took drugs once a two days later. Compared to before now he took less dose whenever he took drugs.
But I was starting to feel tired now. Tired of this relationship. Whenever I tried to pull myself out of this relationship, he did something which made me fall more in love with him. He always pulled me towards him whenever I started to repel.
..........
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