"I know what happened to your friend.", it whispered to my ear, it's voice so deep and scratchy, it makes the hair on my arms stand and my feet cold, but I continued to pretend. It isn't the first time it tried to speak to me and manipulate me emotionally. The mention of Minjoo's name, however, made my stare on the screen falter slightly.
"Don't you wanna know what happened to her?", it continued to whisper. I could feel my chest start to feel heavy with anger as I knew it was trying to use my friend to get me to budge. I didn't react to what he just said. I already know what happened—she died. What more do I need to know?
"Don't you wanna know why?", he asked like he could read my mind. That's the part I don't know, why did she? Why did she do that to herself? I felt like a shitty friend for never even noticing that she was suffering inside of her own home. She knew my deepest secret, but I don't know hers. If only I cared a little more, then perhaps she'd still be here, perhaps she'd still be inside my room with me, laughing, crying, or at least just breathing.
I felt like crying once again, as the memories I've been trying to suppress the past few days of her came flashing back into my mind. I could feel a single tear trickle down my face, a lot more followed, making my face warm but damp. I was so used to being the negative one, I never noticed when she was sad or hurt. She was always laughing and smiling at me and everybody, I never noticed the scars and bruises she tried very hard to hide. I was used to being the one who vent out all of my problems and insecurities, I never got to ask her if she was okay too. Only now did I realize that she wasn't okay the entire time, only now that she's gone. Only now did I realize that I've been selfish and self-centered the entire time. If only I asked her at least once, then perhaps we'd both still be alive and happy.
I heard the demon snicker as it knew it was able to get a reaction out of me. I could feel the hold I had on the mouse tighten and my anger slowly consume me as it let go of the chair and started laughing maniacally. I gritted my teeth and continued to stare at the screen again, unconsciously and aggressively shooting every person I see in the game in an attempt to continue pretending that I didn't hear anything that he said. He abruptly stopped laughing and tightly held the chair again.
"Don't you wanna know WHO caused your friend's death?", he whispered again, now much closer to my ear, close enough that I could feel its breath, which I found stupid because it's clearly not alive. I suddenly remembered the bruises that I found all over her body, Minjoo's father, and the horrible smell of alcohol and cigarettes, making my breathing heavier and quicker.
"You've seen the bruises, haven't you? Do you really believe that SHE could do "that" to herself?" I paused momentarily because of what he said and almost looked back. I had an idea what he was implying but was still rational enough to not believe a demon. I then remembered how hopeful Minjoo looked when she talked about our dreams and the future, how sure she was. Suddenly, the rational part of me started having doubts.
"You know it's partly your fault too, right?" it said making me snap from my thoughts and making my lips quiver. I knew that what it said was right. I knew.
"I can help give you all the answers you seek. I know you have a lot of questions.", it said as its hands moved slowly from the chair to my head. It languidly moved his hands up and down across my hair. It hands were rough, giving me fear instead of comfort.
"I can help you.'', it whispered once again. I hesitated for a moment but chose to be rational and continued to ignore whatever the demon was saying. I continued playing the game, even though I could not focus at all as my heart felt heavier now and all the questions never left my mind as soon as the demon let out those words. It became silent for quite a while, only the sound of the clicks on the mouse and keyboard could be heard.
"Once again, you chose to be selfish. Are you just gonna ignore your friend's feelings like you always did? Are you just gonna let the reason for her death be buried with him 6 feet underground? Are you just gonna continue on with your life while she can't?" I heard it say with bitterness as it hissed. It finally let go of the chair and stood straight up.
"Oh well, I guess you'll just have to go on with your life without knowing then.", it said as it slowly walked away from me.
"Such a waste. I could've helped you talk to her face-to-face once again.", it said. My eyes widened at the idea of possibly being be able to talk to Minjoo again. I let my emotions take over me this time.
"STOP!", I screamed, shocking both of us. The demon slowly looked back and looked at me. Now that I was completely facing the demon, I could see how black and rough its body is, how its eyes are blinding red and how sharp its teeth and nails are. A smirk was slowly forming on its face, scaring me even more. It suddenly then started laughing maniacally again. It clutched its stomach and fell down on my bed while laughing, leaving me standing there, dumbfounded.
"You finally budged!", it looked like a happy little demon as it said so, even though its limbs are long and its body is lanky. It's even more hideous as it smiled widely.
"You fucking prick! Get off my bed and tell me what you know.", I screamed then said with gritted teeth making the demon stand up abruptly from my bed and stand in the middle of my room awkwardly.
"Aren't I the demon here? What's with the colorful language, human?", the demon had the audacity to joke around. I looked at its eyes with furrowed eyebrows to try and look intimidating. I thought that it worked when the demon suddenly shut up but then it suddenly started laughing maniacally again.
"Do you really think that I can just give you the answers without anything in return?", it said while it was still laughing like a madman.
"How do I know that you're not trying to put my life at risk?", I asked, it's a demon, I have absolutely no reason to trust it. It stopped laughing.
"Is your friend not worth the risk? You can choose not to agree with the deal and just move on with your sad and lonely life then.", he said and then turned its back to me again. I rolled my eyes at how annoying this hideous creature is.
"You sick fuck!. Stop turning you're back on me, it's very disrespectful.", I said and then threw the nearest object I could reach— my shoe.
"Disrespectful? You literally ignored me for years, and the first time you talk to me, you shock me with your very respectful vocabulary and your very kind action of throwing your shoe at my head!", it said every word clearly as it glared at me, making me gulp loudly with embarrassment this time, no longer fear.
"Fine, Mr. Demon. What do you want?", I addressed him sarcastically as I sat on my bed and crossed my arms.
"You have to help three souls, if you do that, I can help you with your friend.", he said as he sat down on my chair, closed my monitor, and turned the chair around to face me.
"Aren't you a demon? Why would you ask me to help them? And why three, can't I just help one?", I asked the first of many questions that came in mind the moment he told me what he wanted me to do. I expected him to want my soul in return, find a human being to sacrifice or something like that.
"Do you want to see your friend or are you just gonna waste my time with all of your questions?", the demon said, clearly annoyed. Who knew a demon would be this feisty?
"Waste your time? You've literally been in my room for years now.", I replied, although not as feisty as him.
"Oh God, I wish you'd go back to ignoring me and being all quiet.", the demon rolled his eyes, which was quite an amusing sight to see as his eyes were red. I then realized what he said and could not help but laugh because he's a demon. If I knew the demon was this fun to tease, then I would've talked to him a long time ago and scared him off years ago.
"Shut up. Soul number one. Your school.", he said before disappearing into thin air.
"Wait, now?", I asked but it was too late as the demon was no longer in my room.
The school's a whole different world at night time. Every simple and unnoticed action during the day seems to be amplified when there's barely any light within the whole school. Every step feels heavy and loud as I walk inside the school's hallway. Even my uneven breathing could be heard as I get further inside the school. With no other students around, this place feels like a place you'd visit in your nightmares. I have no idea where the ghost is so I have to look inside each classroom, which is quite hard considering how big this place is.
I paused when I heard footsteps behind me. I could feel cold sweat trickle down my forehead and below my nose as I began to feel nervous. Slowly, I tried to look back even though my feet frozen in place. My eyes were not prepared for the hideous creature behind me.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!", I screamed loudly when I came face to face with the black creature, making him scream loudly too, but immediately stopped when I realized who or what is was. Its scream was almost like a screech as its voice's pitch was unusually higher than mine today.
"What? Why are you screaming? Why?", it asked as it looked at me with widened eyes and in a position that looked like it was ready to punch somebody with its weak and thin arms. I rolled my eyes at the demon as he looked more scared than I was.
"You can't just sneak up on me like that! You're still hideous.", I scolded the demon in front of me.
"Was I supposed to call you beforehand then?", the demon replied. "I was walking as carefully as you were!", the demon said with the same annoyed tone that I had. Both of us quickly shut up when we suddenly heard a faint sound of what sounds like someone crying. We looked at each other before we continued to walk in the direction of the voice.
I could hear my heavy breathing as we got closer and as the voice got louder. I was scared that the ghost could hear my breathing and steps even from afar, so I made sure I took lighter steps and closed my mouth tightly, but the sound of heavy breathing was still there. I looked at the demon beside me and realized he was the one making the noise.
"Why are you breathing so loudly? You're not even alive!", I whispered in an attempt to scold the demon. He turned his head to look at me and glared at me with his red eyes.
"Am I not allowed to feel scared?", he whispered back. I looked at him incredulously before focusing on what I was supposed to do again. We checked each classroom that we passed by meticulously until we got to a room where we could hear the voice the loudest. I watched the demon hold the door and open it slowly.
"Go inside. You can do this.", he looked at me as he said so.
"Wait. Aren't you going with me? You're a demon, why would you-'', I was cut off when he pushed me inside the classroom and then slammed the door. I tried to open the door but the demon locked me in with the ghost so I had no choice but to face it alone. I turned around slowly and saw a girl sitting at the corner of the room. I tried to approach slowly it but I almost fainted when the dead student was already standing in front of me. My breath hitched as it looked at me menacingly.
"Who are you?", I heard it ask, her voice was soft but I could feel the sadness and anger within her. Before I could even answer her, I felt a strong force pulling me up into the air. My hands and feet were literally shaking as I levitated mid-air. It was making me nauseous but my fear made me hold out it in.
"Ah shit! Ghosts can do this? You can do this?", I panicked and asked the ghost in front of me as it was looking up at me. I desperately tried to move but I couldn't. I then suddenly realized that the girl looked familiar.
Jang Wonyoung, I read from her name tag.
"Ar- Aren't you the girl who's always frowning?", I don't know where I got the guts to ask the ghost. I saw how the girl's expression shift from anger to confusion.
"Aren't you the girl who's always smiling like the world's such a great place?", she asked me instead of answering. I never realized that the girl I always smiled to in hopes of lifting up her mood was dead this whole time.
"I don't smile every time, I just smile at you every time I see you because you look like you have all of the problems in the world, being rude to you would only make you feel worse. Wait. You saw me smiling at you this whole time? And yet you continued to ignore me?", I asked while I was still defying the force of gravity.
"Well, I didn't know you could see me, okay? I'm sorry.", she apologized to me, making her look a lot less scary. She didn't seem to be the type to harm people, she looked quite innocent even.
"That was rude, you know that?", I looked at her while pretending to be mad.
"I said I'm sorry, okay?", she said. She really did have this apologetic look in her face.
"You know what else is rude? This. This is the first time you chose not to ignore me and the first thing you do is make me levitate?", I tried to scold her.
"I'm sorry.", she looked away from me, embarrassed. Suddenly, I felt the force lifting me up disappear. I felt my body hit the floor and then felt like my insides broke because of how painfully hard the floor is. I could feel my eyelids get heavier and my head getting dizzier but then I saw the girl kneel in front of me.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.", I heard the girl say as she tried to lift me up. I felt her struggle to get me to stand up as I was quite heavy.
"Oh it's okay. I'm fine. I'm fine. I just feel like I might have dislocated my ribcage, but it's alright.", I help my hand up, with my fists closed my thumb facing upward, signaling that I was really okay despite being in immense pain and despite feeling like I was about to fall down because my legs felt wobbly. I then smiled at her, like I always do, so that she'll stop apologizing.
"Why are you here?", she then asked me when I was finally stable enough to stand up and face her.
"To help you.", I said to her with confidence.
"With what?", she then asked me. I suddenly realized that I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I quickly then tried to ask the demon but when I opened the door, he was nowhere to be found.
"Don't you have like an unfinished business or something like that?", I tried to ask her but it looked like both of us didn't know what to do. There was a short pause in our conversation as she tried to think.
"Not really. I did this to myself.", she said with doubt and sadness evident in her voice.
"You did what?", I felt like I knew as the only way for her to have such a clean body was through...
"I...", she was hesitating to answer my question.
"I killed myself.", her voice was much softer as she looked down on the floor, her eyes looked glassy. Just like Minjoo did.
She then looked like she was about to puke but she caught what came through her mouth with her hands. She laid out her hand and showed a bunch of pills to me.
"I'm sorry", I looked at her with sympathy, I didn't know what she went through but for her to do this to herself meant that she suffered while she was still living. I didn't want to pry, so I kept my mouth shut. She then put the pills back into her mouth. My eyes widened at what she did.
"Did you just... did you just put them back into your mouth?", I asked her and looked at her weirdly. She didn't answer and just smiled sheepishly. I decided to change the topic as I felt like I might throw up the chocolate bar I just ate on the way here.
"Regrets or something you really want to do?", I then asked her. I saw something change in the expression of her eyes and saw how she was now deep in thought.
"Can you punch someone for me?", she suddenly said and looked at me with eagerness in her eyes.
"I can't do just punch somebody because you tell me to. Don't you want to talk to your parents one last time? Don't you have any friends you want to say good bye to?", I asked as I was quite shocked with her last wish.
"Why can't you? I don't have friends and I'm too ashamed of myself to face the family that I've left.", she said as she stepped closer to me again, making the fear I had earlier come back in an instant. My back hit the door so I couldn't go anywhere else.
"Can you stop blocking the door?", she said as she looked at me weirdly.
"Oh right.", I said before awkwardly stepping aside. I looked at her as she opened the door and walked through the hallway. After a few seconds, I realized that I should follow her.
"Every time I walk through the school's hallway, I get reminded of everything that she did to me.", she said as she slowly walked and as I followed her from behind.
"Every day, she made sure that I suffered. She knew I was weak. She knew I was vulnerable so she used that against me, and I couldn't fight back. She had friends and I had no one. I had no one.", she continued to speak and looked at me as if she was in pain when she said the last sentence.
"She hurt me, both emotionally and physically. She hurt me so much I can still feel every pain that she caused me even when I'm dead.", I could only look at her as she continued to speak.
"I was already suffering because of all of my insecurities. I was already suffering because I was dirt poor. Why'd she have to hurt me and make me feel worse when she already had all the good things in life? She hit me when the teachers weren't looking, she made fun of me in front of everyone, she had every one I cared for turn their back on me, she made sure I was hurt in every single way possible since the moment I came to this school. And what hurt more was no one in this school even bothered to care, not one person ever looked at me like I mattered.", she said as she stopped walking and looked down, I could see how her hands were in fists and how they were shaking as she stopped herself from crying out.
She continued walking. We spent the few minutes in silence as we climbed the stairs that led us to the building's rooftop. I suddenly stopped walking when I realized something. There were rumors in this school, rumors of a girl who killed herself while she was alone at the rooftop a few years before I started studying here. With those rumors came the videos of what they did to her. I felt myself cry as I remembered what they did to her. There were videos of her being beaten up, videos of her being humiliated and videos of her without clothes, and those videos were still there on the internet, those videos were still there even when she's dead.
I quickly followed her to the rooftop and did the only thing I could do now. I put my arms around her and hugged her for as long as I could. I didn't know I could touch and hug ghosts, I'm thankful that I can somehow give her that she deserved while she was still alive and mad at the same time as no one deserves the cruelty that's been done to her. I could feel her breakdown and cry as I did so.
"I'm sorry all of those things happened to you. I'm sorry.", all I could do was whisper sorry as she continued to cry. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how else to help her. The sight of the young girl crying like this made me feel broken too.
We spent quite a while crying at the rooftop. I waited for her to get calm before speaking to her again.
"Who did those things to you?", I asked her. She then looked at me before she went to the rooftops railings.
"Shin Yuna", she said as she looked at the dark sky. My eyes widened at the mention of the bully's name. She's a rising celebrity, even more known in this school as she used to study here too, quite ironically known for her pretty smile and talent in dancing.
"You know who she is, don't you? Quite famous, isn't she?', she chuckled bitterly while holding the railings tightly.
"I watched my parents after I died, I regretted taking my own life when I saw how the both of them cried. I saw how empty our house looked and I saw how they hard they find it to smile. I watched her too. How happy she is and how proud her rich parents are of their little girl. I know I took my own life, but is it wrong to watch her feel pain at least once in her life?", she then looked at me.
"Just one punch straight in the face. I'm not asking for anything else.", she looked at me like she seriously wants me to do it.
"No, I won't do that.", I looked at her right in the eye to look firm but deep inside I felt very nervous.
"You won't?", she looked bewildered while I was scared I'd be thrown off the rooftop any moment now.
"You'd just be like her. If you want to make someone suffer and if you choose violence, then you're just like her.", I said to her.
"Then what am I supposed to do, forgive her without ever hearing an apology?", she asked as she now let go of the railings and faced me.
"That's what I'll do. Make her apologize. No rational human being would ever be mean enough. I'm sure she regrets everything she did to you so let me prove it to you.", I said while feigning confidence.
"You don't know her.", she looked as if she didn't believe what I said.
"Do you know where she lives?", I asked her and tried to prepare myself mentally.
"At her college dorm.", she answered. I quickly left the school and looked for a ride.
"She really is rich.", I said to the girl next to me. I gawked at how elegant and big the building looked when I arrived at the address Wonyoung gave me. I then got back to my senses when the ghost nudged me to move forward. I entered the elevator and closed my eyes as I tried to calm myself down. I was nervous and scared that I might be proven wrong.
"It's here.", she pointed to a door so I slowly walked towards and knocked.
"Hi! How can I help you?", a pretty girl politely asked after she opened the door. It was her. I could feel the anger emanating from the ghost behind me. The girl in front me smiled brightly at me as she expectantly waited for my answer.
"I'm here to give a message from my friend, a message she's been dying to tell you.", I said as I tried to hide my nervousness with a straight posture.
"Oh okay, and who might that friend be?", she had this really friendly tone as she looked up at me while she was holding the door. She looked so nice, I suddenly doubted if I was talking to the right person.
"Jang Wonyoung", I answered her and saw something flicker in her eyes. The bright smile she had earlier completely disappeared and was replaced with an annoyed look. She then attempted to close the door but I blocked it with my foot.
"What the hell do you want from me?", she shouted at me and let go of the door. She crossed her arms and glared at me.
"I want you to apologize to my friend.", I answered her. I then heard her snicker the moment I said those words.
"She has friends?", she said it like it was funny to her.
"Why would I apologize when she's already dead?", she then asked me, making me grit my teeth with anger. How can someone be this insensitive?
"Well, you're the reason why she's dead, aren't you?", I said through gritted teeth and formed my hands into fist as her nonchalant face made me angrier and angrier by the second.
"Yeah? And so what? It's not like she was a significant human being. She killed herself because of herself. She was ugly, poor and dumb, if I were her, I would've done it too.", she said to me without even wavering. It was as if she was so used to saying it to people. I could only stand there and try to process how evil someone can be.
"Are you really not gonna apologize?", I asked her one last time and looked at her face carefully to see if there was a sign of guilt, but there was none. She isn't sorry at all, not even a bit.
"I don't feel the need to do it, so can you just scram?", she sounded annoyed, but I was angry.
I punched her right in the face and watch her lose her balance. I watched the horrified expression on her face as she wiped her nose and saw the blood on her palm. I heard the ghost behind me gasp loudly and a few more girls inside the dorm, probably her dorm mates.
"How dare you?", she screamed at me while she was still on the floor.
"That was for my friend.", I said and stepped closer.
"And this is because you're such an evil person who deserves it. This is for me.", I said and threw another punch before holding her tightly by the collar.
"You're gonna pay for this.", she hissed and looked at me angrily.
"Shouldn't you pay for what you did to her too? You made her suffer even more when you were clearly aware that she's already suffering. You hurt her too much, her own death became an option for her to escape and you still have the audacity to say shit about her when she's already dead because of you? Just because you're rich and pretty, it doesn't mean you're better than her and it certainly doesn't give you the right to hurt her.", I let go of her collar when I saw white light fill the room. I then looked at the other girls in the dorm, only to find them pointing at us with their cameras. I stood up and quickly left the room.
I ran away from the building as quickly as I can, with the ghost following right behind me, afraid that someone went after me but I instantly stopped when I was quite far away now and realized that no one ran after me. I took heavy breaths as I ran quite the distance.
"What happened to your whole "don't choose violence" speech?", I heard the ghost tease me.
"Shut up.", I told her and just chose to walk this time.
"Let's take you home now, you should see your parents before you go. Lead the way please.", I said to the ghost and saw how her eyes changed this time. Instead of anger and pain, I now felt warmth from her as she smiled and walked pass by me to start and lead the way to her house.
"You don't have to come with me inside, I don't think you'll be able to help me with giving goodbye kisses.", she joked around as we stopped in front of our house.
"Thank you.", she said to me before smiling genuinely for the second time. She then now walked to her so I just looked at the ghost with a satisfied smile.
I then felt my phone's notifications, it was vibrating too much it felt it was about to explode in my pocket. For the first time in weeks, I had the guts to check my phone again, but I instantly regretted opening it as the only thing I seemed to see were my friends and classmates asking me about the video of me punching a celebrity. I was about to get worried but then I saw the article that made my eyes grow wide. It shed light on all of what a certain celebrity did to her classmates. Now, the whole world knew that she wasn't as innocent as she looked. It was clear that my new friend wasn't the only one she tortured as more people came out on social media about the issue and told their horrifying experiences with the rising star.
It was as if the ghost's family saw the article and news too as I saw the lights in her house being turned on one by one. A few minutes after, I saw her through the window. It was clear that she was crying but it was no longer because of sadness. She waved goodbye to me one last time before she finally faded away to where she should be.
I walked home, happy that I was able to help someone and happy that I was one step closer to meeting Minjoo. When I got home, I immediately fell asleep as it wasn't easy to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night, face a scary ghost at school, make the ghost my new friend, punch a famous person, and sneak back inside my house to my own room.
I woke up to find the demon staring at me from the edge of the bed.