| YEAR 3; CHAPTER FIVE |
BROKEN TIES
PERHAPS THE WEEKS WEREN'T AS TRANQUIL AS HE WAS HOPING FOR. It certainly didn't help that his friends were casting wary stares his way in the dorms. Maybe they thought he couldn't see it, but their discomfort was clear as day.
It was something he tried not to show, but it still got under his skin and left him feeling concerned and more than a little bitter. His legs continued to move as if they had a mind of their own, leading him to an unknown destination as his mind continued to wander. He wondered if this would go on for the rest of the year. Those stares... he wasn't sure how much more he could take of it. It was far too similar to those damned stares which continued to haunt his dreams and stained within the deep crevices of his memories. It was uncomfortable, seeing even his own friends looking at him as if he was a ticking time bomb. As if he was something other.
"So you finally got ahold of your father?" Blaise's clear and sophisticated voice finally gave him something to ground himself with, even as he struggled to keep his mind focused on the conversation. He shook his head lightly. Instead, trying to focus his attention back on Draco and Blaise. Whatever the two were talking about, Edwyn just found himself in the middle of it, and he found himself incredibly confused. Perhaps the library would be a good place to go for his research, then, he thought, before realizing he was zoning out once again. He really should stop doing that.
In response to Blaise's question, Draco frowned and let out a sigh. "If it weren't for all these Aurors and what-not, I'd already have sent the letter to my father. I can't believe the grounds are still housing that menace of a bird."
"It did nothing wrong," Edwyn noted, "It's just an animal. What did you think would happen when you decided to provoke it? It is not about to just roll over and play fetch. It's, as you said, a bloody bird."
Draco huffed, a noise somewhere between amused and stubbornly angry, but didn't argue with his point. Blaise, on the other hand, nodded in understanding.
"Even so, it should have been trained a lot better. Or at the very least, tied up, so no accidents like what happened to Draco could have happened."
While a part of him wanted to argue with what Blaise had just said, the other side agreed with the boy's point of view. "I guess you've got a point," he conceded before turning to his blonde friend. "But Draco... I think we both know that all the dramatics were a little over the top."
There was a moment of silence before the boy let out a brief chuckle, and Edwyn was thankful that the boy didn't suddenly explode at his joking remark. "I'll keep that in mind for next time, thanks," he muttered in response. A lighthearted sarcastic remark, that Edwyn smiled at.
"Did you really need to contact your father, though?" Edwyn asked.
"Yes, of course, I had to," Draco replied tightly. "If anything, at least the bird will pay."
While Edwyn would never claim that he was, by any means, a social butterfly, he was finding himself more and more lost with the different signals Draco was sending. First, the boy laughed at his remark, but now he was sounding... annoyed? Edwyn was very much so confused. Had he done something wrong again? He hoped not. He slowly looked into Draco's eyes, and upon seeing the unnerving amount of fear in them, he slowly stepped back in caution. He didn't understand what he had done to be on the receiving end of it.
Edwyn chose not to comment on what Draco had said last. Though his mind started mulling it over before he could stop himself, he tried his best to ignore the thoughts that were racing faster and faster in his head.
"Okay," he said. He suddenly felt a bit sick.
After giving him a wide-eyed—almost fearful—look, Draco didn't mention his response. The conversation didn't pick up again, all of them seemingly trapped in their own thoughts, and Edwyn was beginning to wonder if maybe, just maybe something was wrong. What was wrong? Well, he wasn't all too sure on that, but something... something, just felt wrong. Like a slightly discoloured brick in a wall. Unnoticeable until you decided to take a closer look.
It seemed to be a while before Edwyn let out a breath of air. Brushing a hand through his hair, he turned towards the library. He might as well get it done sooner than later.
-
Edwyn wasn't quite sure if he regretted his decision in coming here again. It felt too early... like he had broken a silent agreement and was now being judged for it. It was illogical. That he understood well enough, but even so, he couldn't help feeling out of place, sitting here in his usual spot. A place that once felt so comforting, was now feeling anything but.
After finding nothing else to do, Edwyn sent a hesitant glance over at Hermione, who, bless her, offered a kind smile, as brief as it was. Nothing was said between them, and the awkward silence only worsened, and Edwyn felt like he was missing something integral...
She remembered what occurred with his boggart. Anyone would, and Edwyn was having a hard time believing that it actually happened. Everything seemed... hazy. That's the only way he could explain it. Logically he knew he wasn't dreaming, but, that didn't stop everything from feeling like one.
Edwyn looked back down at his book... Reading silently, and sitting silently. Yet, even just that was hard. He wanted to say something, anything to remove this terrible weight off his chest. But he didn't. Instead, he continued to sit down, and avoid the elephant in the room with as much strength as he currently had. Hoping to whatever higher power was there, that nothing would be said, and he could continue on with his day.
"Are you okay?"
There it was. Of course, it was just his luck, wasn't it? He didn't want to talk about this... not now.
Edwyn continued to look down at his book, an immature part of him began wondering if she would stop if he pretended not to hear. A childish thought, which unfortunately he knew he couldn't do. Instead, he slowly inclined his head up, but he didn't look at her eyes. He didn't want to.
"I'm fine," he said. Was he? Not trusting himself to speak any further, Edwyn shifted his gaze back to the book on the table.
She was about to say something else. He knew it.
"Look—"
A sudden bang cut her off, and Edwyn jerked his head up in reflex to the sudden noise. He didn't have to look to guess who it was, and he felt his lips quirk up when he caught a glimpse of Hermione's shock-ridden face. It occurred to him then, that the library was awfully quiet, and as he looked around, he noticed that other than two studying Ravenclaws—who were now glaring at their table due to the disturbance—they were the only ones.
After a second, she snapped herself out of it and hissed at the Ravenclaw, "Are you trying to get us kicked out of the library?"
Terry playfully rolled his eyes, something which probably irked Hermione even more. "They're not made of china, you know," he remarked. A wide grin broke out on his face, and Hermione let out an exasperated huff in response.
"I can't believe you," Hermione muttered. Looking at Edwyn in search of some support, but only found an amused smile instead. "Remind me why I'm here again..."
"It's quiet most of the time," Edwyn noted. For some reason, he felt like his voice was a bit quieter than usual, though perhaps it was just in his head because nobody else mentioned it. Though Hermione was giving him that look again, and Edwyn swiftly shoved that thought to the farthest corner of his mind before it could truly form. He didn't really want to think right now...
"That's when Terry isn't here." Hermione eventually said. "Honestly, it's like I'm dealing with children."
Terry placed his left hand over his heart, his eyes wide and an exaggerated pout setting into place. Dramatically, he lifted his right arm, tilting his torso slightly. "You wound me, my fair lady. I've only just returned from my long venture, and this is how you treat me? I fear that I shall die of a broken heart..." He lamented.
It was Hermione who rolled her eyes this time as she replied, "I'm sure you'll get over it."
Terry's grin remained steady on his face, however, the mood slowly dimmed down as quiet befell them once more. Terry cleared his throat and spread his things along the table. Glancing at a book with disinterest.
"What have you been up to, Edwyn?"
Edwyn hummed in response. "Not much."
"Anything... interesting?"
"Not really."
Terry paused for a bit, before coughing and shifting in his seat. "I'm just... gonna stop talking now."
Edwyn looked down at the books and spare parchment that lay in front of him. Sighing as he went back to scrolling through the horrendously formatted paragraphs in hopes of a gold mine. All the transfiguration books held a general message about the process.
Imagination and the user's will power. Edwyn knew that already, he needed to understand the magic, not the thought process behind the spellwork. Then it clicked. He needed to understand spell theory.
Edwyn shut his book harsher than he had meant to, Hermione glancing at him with a sharp eye despite the mood. Edwyn smiled at her placatingly before rushing off to the isles. He passed such books during his search for the transfiguration ones.
Turning around one corner, he came to the spot where his memory had taken him. It was dimly lit, and Edwyn cast a quick Lumos to brighten the aisle. There he began his search. Picking up anything with 'theory' in the title.
He knew that he'd be spending a while reading through all of these, but it didn't matter in the slightest. This work was nothing compared to what he could do once he figured this all out. A book caught his eye while he was perusing the shelves. Understanding Animagi and the Process.
McGonagall had spoken about animagi in her class, he remembered. Quite vividly, in fact. He grabbed the book and placed it on the pile. Beginning the trek back to his table. Madame Pince would likely let him check out at least half of them.
He's been to the library enough times to gain a small portion of trust from the librarian.
-
Draco and Blaise seemed to be avoiding him now, Edwyn noticed. He didn't know why, but he noticed their staring sometimes when he passed them in the halls. Blaise was fairly subtle about it, but Draco seemed to act a little more like a cornered animal, sometimes even acting hostile when Edwyn would approach him. There wasn't anything that came to mind when he tried to understand what he had done to release the boy's ire, but he had a feeling that it had something to do with the boggart incident. He should have known, he should never have gotten into that spot in line. What on earth was he going to do now? The only one in his dorm not ignoring him was Theodore Nott, but even then they both barely spoke to each other, and Edwyn just knew that he really was alone now.
He thought back to Cedric, but then he shook his head again. If anything, he probably already effectively pushed the boy away when he walked away that day. Even if the boy wasn't going to leave him then, he certainly wasn't going to be putting up with him now.
Edwyn let out a frustrated and weary sigh, the only thing that's been keeping him sane, he felt, was his visits to the library alongside Hermione and Terry. Though, occasionally he would talk to Nott within the dorms, and he'd help the boy with his homework, and vice versa. Even so, it hurt whenever he passed by his former friends in the halls or saw them in class.
No matter how much he hoped for it to be true, he knew that things wouldn't be the same after this. He could feel it.
[ a/n: So, it's been a while, I know. I've been caught up in so much lately, and I've honestly just been staring at this chapter for the longest time. I figured that it would be better just posting it now, or I'll end up continuing to pick at it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and I apologise for the long wait! ]