"Ailbhe? Where are you?" Tommy had shouted, slamming the door behind him and storming into the office where Ailbhe was already sitting, already having started her day at work. She was taken aback by Tommy's entrance, looking up at him with wide eyes.
Finn was behind him, close on his heels as they swept into Ailbhe's office slamming the door behind them. Finn didn't look at her, he wouldn't meet her eyes and Ailbhe knew something was seriously wrong.
She hadn't seen him for two days since they were both so busy and she missed him but she hadn't wanted to see him like this. Two nights previous they'd spent hours in the stables as Finn checked on the horses and Ailbhe accompanied him, sitting up on the hay bales watching him work like they used to. It had been normal, nothing out of the ordinary. They had gone back to Finn's flat in Artillery Square, eating toast and sitting on the floor by the fire until they fell asleep together, half naked and wrapped around each other. The next morning was when Maggie had arrived on her doorstep and Ailbhe hadn't seen Finn since. She had almost gone to his door so many times, picked up the phone and tried to talk to him. But she didn't. She didn't know how to explain it, how to word it or rationalise why she had done what she had done.
"What is it? What's wrong?" She asked, looking between the two brothers who looked nothing alike and yet were more similar than they would ever admit.
Tommy was pale and sweating, his hand running over his head anxiously and his eyes were darting around the room like he expected someone to jump out at them.
"The yard is going to issue a warrant for your arrest as an accomplice to the assassination of Field Marshall Johnson"
The statement washed over Ailbhe as though Tommy had thrown a bucket of ice water over her.
Tommy only had to look at her to know it wasn't lies. She had been involved to some degree.
"Jesus Christ Ailbhe" Finn shouted, running his hand up through his hair and turning his back to her. This wasn't a joke this time, it wasn't all a part of Tommy's plan.
"I didn't kill him Tom, I didn't even know about it"
She tried to explain but Tommy didn't even listen, turning his back to her and looking out the window, trying to slow his mind down and think clearly.
He barely listened to Ailbhe's explanation, how she had found Maggie Brennan on her doorstep after carrying out the assassination of Field Marshall Johnson, how Ailbhe had hid her in her home for a few hours, given her fresh clothes and some cash. Ailbhe had drove her to the train station and bought her a ticket to Glasgow, making sure Maggie boarded the train and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Ailbhe hadn't told anyone and nobody knew who Maggie was. She had thought they were in the clear but obviously not.
"Why did you fucking help her Ailbhe?"
Finn had never shouted at Ailbhe like that and she found herself in a silent shock.
"He was a member of the British fucking army; his father is an MP. They'll fucking hang you for this"
Finn knew he shouldn't be shouting but he felt so angry at her he wanted to throw the chair in front of him across the room. He didn't know what angered him more, that she hadn't told him or that she had done something so dangerous and reckless with her life, the life that was his now too.
The gravity of what she had done sunk in, weighing down on her chest like a brick. She would get locked up and they would throw away the key this time. That would be mercy, a best case scenario. The more likely scenario was Ailbhe's fate would be at the end of a rope.
Ailbhe looked at Finn, trying to get him to stop looking at her like that. The pain and anger in his eyes broke her heart, she never wanted him to look at her like that ever again.
"He was a fucking monster Finn, he killed dozens of women and children for having the audacity to want to be free, to not be slaves to the crown"
She snapped back, feeling her temper flare among all her other emotions. She stood up from behind her desk. After Maggie explained what the man had done, how deplorable and despicable he was Ailbhe didn't feel guilty for hiding Maggie. He had been a black and tan officer in Cork, in charge of putting out every spark of rebellion whether that meant killing those responsible, burning homes to the ground or torture. This particular officer had committed crimes that he would never be tried for. Instead, he came home to England and was given a medal. He was told that he was a loyal soldier who had defended the British Empire against those who meant it harm. It made Ailbhe sick to think about. And so, as far as Maggie was concerned, the world was a better place with Field Marshall Johnson dead and Ailbhe wouldn't say it out loud but she agreed.
"This isn't our fight Ailbhe, we don't have any business with Communists or Irish. That's our rule"
Finn shouted back, throwing his hands out. He was furious with her. He couldn't fathom how she would be so reckless with her life when he needed her alive and with him.
"No business with Irish? What the fuck do you think I am?" She snapped but Tommy shouted out, cutting across them and spinning back around.
"Shut up" He barked; he couldn't think with them arguing.
Tommy looked at Ailbhe, eyes wide and panicked but he had a plan made in his mind. He walked over to her, closing the distance between them and grabbing her by the arms and turning her to look at him.
"You swear you had no idea about it before yesterday?" He asked her, looking into her eyes and searching for any trace of a lie.
"I had no idea Tom, she just turned up on my door and I helped her to get out of the city, that's the truth"
She promised, knowing Tommy would believe her because he could see through lies just like she could. And she wasn't lying.
"Alright" Tommy nodded, believing her "Moss says they won't be coming to arrest you until the morning, we have about twenty-four hours"
Ailbhe felt guilt and shame curl around her. Finn still had his back turned to them, he couldn't even think about what it would feel like to have Ailbhe hanged for her crimes in prison. The thought of having to go on with life without her was enough to make Finn crave a drink.
The reality of what she had done sunk in and Ailbhe was beginning to realise that her life was being threatened.
"You're going to go home and pack your things. There's a boat sailing from Liverpool the day after tomorrow, you're going to be on board"
Tommy explained, ignoring Finn's deep exhale in frustration. He shouldn't have brought Finn with him; he was too emotional. But Finn had been with Tommy when Moss called and he overheard it.
"Michael will meet you in New York, you'll stay there until this dies down Ailbhe, I'll make sure they know you had nothing to do with it, that you're innocent. It's alright" He promised her.
Tommy understood her. He knew that Ailbhe couldn't turn her back on a situation like that. Tommy never could either and it was what had landed in situations like this more times than he could count now. Ailbhe believed in Ireland the way that Tommy believed in their family and he couldn't fault her for it. It just meant he would have to come up with a plan to get her out.
He'd sooner let himself meet his end at the end of a noose than let Ailbhe be hung for a crime she didn't commit. She represented something too special to him to watch her be taken away from them. She deserved better than him for a brother but he would do everything he could to keep her free, to keep her alive.
"It's alright" He promised her, making sure she looked him in the eye and nodded.
She nodded back, the fear in her eyes clear as day. Ailbhe was just a kid, just like Tommy had been before France. She thought the world should be a fair place, just like Tommy had thought once too. He thought Ailbhe had given up on Ireland but he should have known that Ailbhe was too stubborn to give up that easily. He should have known Ailbhe wouldn't be able to turn her back on something this important to her. He was just relieved he had a plan already. Once they found the real culprits for the murder of Field Marshall Johnson and once Tommy had called in a few favours and greased a few palms he was sure they would stop coming after Ailbhe and she would be able to return.
Ailbhe tried to take a deep breath as Tommy took one final look at her and left through the door in a flash. He left Finn and Ailbhe alone with the atmosphere so thick it could be cut with a knife.
"Finn I-" She started to explain but he just looked back at her, his eyes full of anger and hurt, frustration and pain.
He turned his back on her, slamming the door behind him as he left her there to finally let a tear slip out and to wonder if it had been worth it.
Ailbhe pulled herself back to the present, away from memory lane and the pain that trip always caused her. She climbed out of her bed, knowing sleep wasn't going to come no matter how hard she tried or how many times she tossed and turned.
In recent nights her broken and disturbed sleep had been plagued by a dream of a black cat, one that looked at her with big grey eyes. She dreamt of walls closing in and a singular magpie. They were all bad signs according to what Polly taught her and they unnerved her to no end. She could tell something bad was coming, the feeling had settled on her shoulders and she was just waiting for it to reveal herself.
She pulled on the robe that she had left on the floor and climbed out the window, onto the balcony fire escape her bedroom had. She flicked through the reports Michael had signed off on, as well as the extra investment reports he had filed through her. She read them with the dull glow of the lamps from her bedroom and the lights of New York and she nearly dropped them when she saw it. The reason for the omens in Ailbhe's dreams.
"That mother fucker" She snapped, shuffling through the reports and feeling her temper flare.
She shoved them back into the file, climbing back in through the window and storming down the stairs to the hallway table where the telephone sat.
"Hello operator, I need an overseas connection please"
She asked, checking the clock over her shoulder and knowing that since it was 3am in New York it would be 8am where she was phoning.
"Birmingham, England" She asked of the operator praying that Tommy hadn't decided to start sleeping in the four months she had been away. God knows she hadn't slept much since she had left either.
*
By nine o clock the following morning, Ailbhe was waiting at the docks to board the boat home following Tommy's instructions. After she told him that Michael had ignored their requests, ignored their orders to pull out of the stock market. He had done the opposite, hanging on and investing more.
It was a long voyage, the weather getting rougher and more turbulent the closer to home they got but she didn't care, she was going home finally. It had been a long five months and she missed them dearly, Finn especially. Although it broke her heart to remember how angry and hurt, he looked the day Tommy and him told her she had to leave for New York, that wasn't the last time she had seen Finn thankfully.
She had gone home to pack, to tell Liam and Niall what happened. While Niall was furious with her for being stupid enough to get caught, Liam stayed quiet. He understood. He had seen it in Ailbhe, the fight and fire their father had. She was still young and believed in helping people, in the greater good and she had chosen to help this woman who needed it. Liam saw the light in Finn and Ailbhe, in Bonnie and Isiah. They hadn't fought in France, they were still kids really and they believed in bettering the world.
Niall and Liam had grabbed her around the shoulders and hugged her close. Niall promised her Tommy would sort it, that Tommy would fix everything and bring Ailbhe home soon. Liam had joked that her father would be proud, making the three siblings laugh despite the tears in Ailbhe's eyes as she said goodbye to them. They had orders from Tommy that sent them to London for the night, leaving Ailbhe on her own in the house to start regretting her decision to help Maggie, to start missing Finn and to even let a few more tears slip out.
She barely heard the knock at the door over the rain but she should have known he would come back. Finn was outside her door, a cigarette between his fingers but he wasn't smoking it. She stepped aside, letting him step in but he kept his head down. She couldn't see his face under the peak of his cap but if she had seen him, she would have seen how he was just trying to pull himself together.
She stayed silent, watching him as he stepped into the hallway and kept his head down, avoiding her eyes.
"I'm so sorry Finn"
She found herself saying before she even knew she was going to speak first. Usually, she was too stubborn to crack first but not with Finn.
"But I had to help her..." She admitted, desperate for him to look up and meet her eyes.
She could smell whiskey and smoke; he had been drinking and she wasn't surprised. She had been craving one too since she heard there were agents from Scotland Yard coming to take her away.
When his voice broke the silence, his voice was low and raspy as always after drinking.
"Why?"
He wasn't the first person to ask this question and he certainly wouldn't be the last.
"What do you mean, why?"
Ailbhe huffed. She hated explaining herself even more than Finn did.
"I had to help her, Finn she had nobody else, I had to!"
"Why?"
His tone was lower now, more insistent as he looked down into her eyes.
He was furious.
"She needed help, Finn. She had no one else and she needed my help."
Finn scoffed, his jaw tensing and sharpening the line of his profile.
"And it had to be you"
He was full of whiskey and bitterness, sarcasm coming easy to him.
Ailbhe felt her own temper flare. Finn might not have the bleeding heart she did but he wasn't cold and unfeeling. He was like his older brothers, he wanted to help people like them. But this Finn, this cold and bitter man was sick of giving up pieces of himself and his life for the sake of Tommy's crusade.
"Yeah, Finn" She snapped, pushing up on her toes to try to see him eye to eye "It had to be me!"
He laughed. A dry and cold sound that sounded nothing like the warm laugh Ailbhe longed to hear every day.
"What would you have had me do?" She snapped, not seeing any alternative.
Maggie Brennan was desperate and Ailbhe knew that if she didn't help her, no one would. Essentially, Ailbhe was all that stood between Maggie and the gallows. And she had felt rope around her neck before, she wouldn't let anyone die like that if it was in power to stop it.
Finn stayed silent and stoic. His eyes cold and dark, looking away from her as if he was ashamed of what his thoughts might be if she dared to read them.
"What would you have had me do, Finn? Let her die?"
"Yes Ailbhe!"
His yell shocked her, but his response shocked her more.
His hands grabbed her elbows, jerking towards him and looking her in the eyes so she could see exactly what his anger masked, fear.
"Let her fucking die, let her deal with the fucking mess she made! Let us alone, let me and you alone and stop taking you away!"
Ailbhe saw the tears in his eyes, even if he'd never let them fall or admit their existence in the first place. And not for the last time, the gravity of what she had done struck her so hard she felt it like a blow to the chest.
"You'd let her die?"
Ailbhe's anger laced the question but Finn saw the fading of it in her eyes. She couldn't believe him. She had seen Finn do a lot, say a lot but she didn't think he was cruel. No matter what the rumours said about the youngest Shelby and his recklessness.
His grip on her elbows slackened but his tone didn't let up that coldness. His hands slid up her arms until he held her neck in his hands and tilted her head towards his. Brown eyes almost black.
"I'd let them all die, Alv I don't give a fuck about any of them or their causes!"
His grip tightened, feeling the slight bones of her neck under his fingertips and her breath stealing his in a sharp exhale. There it was. The thing Tommy and Polly, Lizzie and even her mother had warned her about. Finn was a Shelby and Finn loved her. Therefore, he would do anything to keep her, keep her alive, keep her sane, keep her his.
Shelby men were possessive and protective over what they had fought to get and Finn had fought for her ever since he learned how to fight.
"They'll kill you, you know"
His soft tone juxtaposed the harshness of his words so much she felt a chill of fear.
"They'll hang you or lock you up and I'll never see you again. And it'll have all been for fucking nothing"
He said it so quietly she wouldn't have heard had she not been so close to him that she could taste the whiskey on his breath and feel his heart beating against her own chest.
She knew what he was trying to say. Two lives ruined. Not just her own. She had potentially ruined her own life, Finn's and their life together by saving a woman who might not have deserved it, a woman who fought for a cause that would never mourn Ailbhe if she was hung for treason and sedition. A cause that wouldn't even remember her, not the way Finn would.
"Tommy won' let me go with you"
He had tried to convince Tommy to let him go with her, that she would be safer with him but Tommy had refused it. He needed Finn to stay put, to keep working as head bookmaker. He needed it to look like Ailbhe was just visiting Michael in New York and overseeing more business due to the expansion.
Ailbhe felt her chest ache. Finn had wanted to come with her. She had thought about it too but she thought he was too angry with her.
"It'll be okay Finn..." She whispered, reaching her fingers up to hold onto him.
"What the fuck am I going to do?" Finn sighed, finally looking at her.
The look in his eyes made a physical pain shoot through her chest. Anger and betrayal had faded, leaving utter despair in its place. She didn't want to leave him, she never wanted to leave him again.
"You'll be alright" she promised him but it was a weak promise.
She looked up into his big brown eyes as he smiled weakly.
"I thought you promised never to lie to me" he laughed dryly, the alcohol having made his cheeks go pink and his eyes a little glassy.
She couldn't help it anymore, she stretched up on her toes and threw her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. She felt him relax against her, sink in against her as his arms joined around her middle and held her close.
"Finn, I don't know how long I'll be gone..." She said, muffled by the material of his coat but he shushed her, his hand rubbing her back comfortingly.
She didn't want to talk about it anymore. She had no idea how long she'd be gone, when she'd be back or if she would ever be allowed come back.
She pulled back, finding his lips and joining them with hers. She didn't want to feel the regret and guilt for her decisions. She just wanted to be with him, feel happy and safe with him before she had to leave. Finn clearly felt the same as he screwed his eyes shut and blocked everything else out, grabbing her by the waist and deepening the kiss. He bit her bottom lip between his for a second, tugging it before she felt his tongue slip against hers. His hands gripped her waist, pulling her nearer to him before he started backing her up towards the stairs.
He knew her brothers were off on a job for Tommy and therefore the house was empty. He just wanted to get lost in her and forget about the rest of the white noise for the night. He had been drinking in the Garrison, not talking to anyone but just sitting on his own and mulling over what had happened. He couldn't imagine life without her, with her living in New York. He was angry and hurt by it all but he also knew that this might be their last night for a long time and he would regret it if he wasted a single second of it not kissing her.
His hands held her neck, following her towards the stairs. They pulled each other's clothes off, leaving them thrown on the floor of Ailbhe's bedroom. They were frantic to tear each other's clothes off, to feel their skin against each other's. They fell onto her bed, a mess of limbs as he kissed along her jaw and down the soft skin of her neck. He didn't want to think about how he would cope without her, his favourite addiction. He wasn't sure he would stay sane without her but he would have to try.
His hand slid down her body, dipping into her sex and feeling how wet she was already. She mewled into his ear, a breathy whine and Finn instinctively pushed in against her so she could feel him hard against her.
"Finn, I just want you tonight" She sighed, twisting her hips and proving that she wanted him inside her.
"I love you Finn, I'm so sorry I love y-" she started to say but she was cut off, interrupted by Finn's lips on hers. She didn't need to apologise to him, not anymore and definitely not tonight.
He didn't want to think about her leaving. about what she had done and why he was going to have to survive without her. He didn't want to think about any of it. He just wanted to remember how perfect she felt, how quiet his mind went when they were connected and how she was his.
He thrust into her, filling her entirely and stilling for a moment. He groaned out against her lips. There it was. Home. That feeling of being right where he belonged. But she was leaving.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut his mind off and finally succeeding. His hand around her neck and the other gripping her waist he still wanted more skin on skin with her, keeping their lips joined.
She looped her arms around his shoulders as Finn pulled her leg up, wrapping it around his waist. As if she was made for him, she knew what to do. She hooked the other around him too, feeling him slide deeper and the new angle hitting her harder. She moaned out his name, her nails digging into his back driving him on, pushing him to go harder.
The day had been a whirlwind and she didn't realise how tense she was until she could feel Finn relaxing every part of her and making her forget everything but how fucking amazing it felt to have him inside her. The shallow breaths and groans that slipped through his lips despite them being pressed to Ailbhe's made it even better for her.
"Finn, please" she moaned out when he started kissing and sucking on the skin of her neck, biting down only to swipe his tongue across where he had just bitten. She wasn't sure what she was begging for but she just knew that Finn and her was a fire that burned perhaps too bright for people their age. It might have scared her if she wasn't so lost in him that she didn't care if she never was found again.
"Fuck Ailbhe" he groaned out, knowing that he was about to become undone. He pumped slower into her, gentler and somehow more intensely as he knew she was right on the edge. Since Ailbhe had gotten that little contraption from a shop in London, they had been having sex without the danger of Ailbhe getting pregnant.
With that one last thrust, feeling as though he was hitting the exact spot Ailbhe needed she felt herself become undone at his hands. She kept kissing him, wanting his lips on hers as he jerked inside of her and as she rode the wave of her own pleasure. Ailbhe was panting, keeping her legs locked around his waist as Finn pushed into her, seeking his own release. She leaned up, pressing her lips to his throat, kissing and sucking along the pulse of his throat as he found what he was looking for. His head fell into the crook of her neck, panting and warming the skin of her neck with his breath. He stilled, staying inside of her. He didn't want to move. Didn't want to break it.
The only noise in the room was their heavy breathing and the ticking of the clock as if to remind them that the following morning, a mere few hours away that Ailbhe would be heading for New York.
He fell onto the bed beside her, keeping his arms around her as they lay facing each other, her legs and arms tangled in his. He couldn't take his eyes off her, knowing that she would be gone for a long time. They couldn't keep the reality out.
"Finn" she whispered into the dark but the moonlight cast enough light around the room for her to see his face. She didn't need much light anyway; she couldn't ever forget what Finn looked like. She had spent most her life admiring his stupid face. He looked at her, admiring every inch of her face and feeling the words leave his mouth before he knew he was going to say it.
"I love you" he told her, saying it as though he wanted her to listen to him, to really listen to his words and remember it.
She ran her hand up his chest, running her thumb across his cheekbone and his bottom lip gently. The way he looked at her, she never wanted to forget it. He looked at her like she was the one thing he really needed.
"I love you" she replied, bringing her lips to his for a soft and gentle kiss that felt almost fragile.
"It'll be alright...Tommy will take care of it. I'll do whatever it takes Alv. Whatever it takes to get you back" He told her reassuringly, his fingers trailing up and down the soft skin of her back.
She nodded, trying her best to ignore the doubt in her head that told her nothing would be the same when she came back.
"Finn I could be gone a long time... I'll understand if you..." she froze, words failed her and she didn't know how to tell him that she would have to be understanding of it if Finn didn't stay loyal to her while she was away.
His lips on hers cut her off. When he pulled back, he held her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.
"Stop" he told her "You're mine and I'm yours".
He said it with such certainty it made Ailbhe feel the breath catch in her throat.
"Fuck everyone else Ailbhe, it's just me and you" he told her, his eyes wide and searching hers for doubt but he only saw utter softness there, softness she only had for him like he only had for her.
Having enough words spoke, Finn leaned in and got lost in her again. He wanted to savour every moment before she left. The idea of life without her put him on edge so much he had gone straight for the bottle that afternoon but he would have to get on with his life. He couldn't fall apart without her no matter how much he thought he would. Finally falling asleep, her body tangled in his and his arms tight around her he was sure he would wake up beside her. But when he woke, she was gone, leaving nothing but the smell of her perfume in the air. The bed was still warm, meaning Finn had only missed her by minutes but she had snuck out clearly not wanting a big goodbye.
She had tears in her eyes the whole way to the harbour where the boat waited. Liam had offered to drive her, helping her unload her bags and hand them over to the men working for the shipping company. It all felt very real all of a sudden, the smell of the sea in the air and the way Ailbhe had fit her whole life's belongings into a few suitcases.
She felt her breathing go a little ragged realising that she was actually leaving.
"You'll be fine Alv, there's plenty Irish over there you'll feel right at home" Liam promised her, laughing and shoving his hands into his pockets.
She looked over her shoulder, knowing she had to leave him but she found her feet rooted to the ground. She didn't want to go.
"I'm sorry Liam I don't know what I was thinking" She sobbed, letting all of the emotions she had tried to keep a lid on bubbling over.
Liam grabbed his sister's shoulders, making her look at him. She looked just like a kid then, despite her brave face and the makeup and clothes, she was still only twenty one. He told her to take a deep breath.
"Oi, stop that. You were brave Ailbhe, you stood up for what was right and you protected her" Liam told her, making sure she looked at him and realised what he was saying.
"Dad would be proud of you" he added, pulling her in and hugging her for one last second. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and tried not to look sad when he stepped away from her.
She had pulled it together again, nodding at him and pulling on a fake smile. She stood by her decision really. She just wished it hadn't so many consequences. She had faked that smile until she got to New York and realised she could be useful there. Although she missed her family and Finn with every beat of her heart, she was doing good there, keeping Michael in line and stopping him from fucking it all up until she realised, he wasn't listening to her anymore. She wrote to Finn, telling him about her life there and how she missed him so much it hurt but he rarely wrote back. He wasn't a writer and Ailbhe tried not to take it personally. They spoke on the phone a few times but by September Ada and Polly had stopped mentioning him in their letters and Ailbhe had begun to worry about him.
Thankfully, Ailbhe would soon see him for herself. Finally, after a long and tiring voyage she set foot back in England. She never thought she'd be glad to be on English soil but she was that day. She was making her way towards the ocean of cars that had come to collect people off the boat when she saw a newspaper in someone's hand. Her heart skipped a beat at the headline.
"I'm sorry sir, can I have a look at that?" she asked the man holding the newspaper, he passed it to her immediately. He wasn't sure what a young woman like Ailbhe would want with it but she snatched it up. The colour drained out of her face as she read the headline.
There it was in black and white, exactly what her and Tommy had talked about and dreamt about. The Wall St stock market had crashed, like a train on the tracks and Shelby Company Ltd was very much on board because Michael hadn't fucking listened to her.