"You can learn to love"
"You will be fine"
My heart has crossed its border
It's certainly off the line
My heart is not home
My home is his love
The his I know
Not the one before me now
For whom I have never known
"Come meet the family"
"They are not too bad"
It's worse to smile to the ones ,by who your love was denied
Just so your parents could be satisfied
Arranged it all was
My dress,my hair
His suit, the rings
How many grandchildren they would love
My career becomes future housewife
The career of future business woman was placed into the golden box
The golden box in which the rings were stored in
Except the career had no shine like the ring
Instead it was dusty and had lost its bling
"Say your vows"
"Mean it too"
I never said "I love you"
Nor did he ever say "I'll love you"
For I have met him on the day of my wedding
For my smile was fake to please the camera setting
Arranged were the vows
Arranged was it all
One thing they forget to arrange
Was my "I do"
I had the power to say "I don't love you"
But I vowed to my parents
"Mamma,Pappa,I'll marry him just for you."
Arranged was my marriage
Arranged was it all
My husband, my house
My children, my life
Arranged was the love
The fake love
It's a decade down the line
And I still wonder
"What is love?"
For a decade of my life my children said "Mamma we love you."
For a decade he kissed my cheek and said "Honey I love you."
I realised that for five years of this decade he finally grew to love me.
I look into their eyes and I see my paused dreams, a rewind of my wedding vows and a fast forward of my heartache.
For all I have endured
The arranges which brought me to this day
For all I have heard and seen
The thoughts of the person of who I could have been
I still wonder
"What is love?"
~Keziah Njikelana