epilogue.
the airport was packed. not in a charming, rom-com way where every soul was an actor, filling the space with drab colours so the main characters stood out. it didn't scream 'love, rosie' or 'love actually.' it was bodies piled to the brim, elbows in ribs and carry-on bags smacking unsuspecting passerbys. new years came with an onslaught of reunions, though, with arms around necks and kisses on cheeks as families reunited at the time of year that was, undoubtedly, the most impactful.
to the left of roisin was a man in a suit and tie, face strictly business. stern brows and a frown to match. he looked tired, dark bags under his eyes as he held an ipad that had a name scrawled on the surface: ms keenan. to her right, the exact opposite. a bright, happy family, all in colourful clothing, clad in party hats, poppers in their clenched fists. a banner that was all-too-large for the five of them was displayed above their heads, 'WELCOME HOME, MUM!' detailed in yellow paint. they chatted amongst themselves with rigid excitement.
roisin, though, wasn't holding anything. she had her phone and keys in her pocket, her jumper wrapped tightly around her small form as she fiddled with the ends of her now long hair. it was noisy in all of the wrong ways, busy with people that mattered very little to her. but there was one person somewhere, trekking from his plane to her arms. her boyfriend. whom she hadn't seen in months, not since they agreed to try long distance.
she waited with bated breath for the familiar man to round the corner, knowing that he would be out within the minute. scenarios were pulsing in her head - her arms around him, his around her. her hands in his hair and his clasped so tightly around her waist. their lips touching so blissfully.
it hadn't been easy staying away from him, but they needed something different. something difficult to prove that they had earned each other in the face of their rushed start and staggered end, then their inevitable restart. and, my god, had they earned each other. every night was a painful facetime, axel keeping her company as she drifted off to sleep, wishing he was there. every week was a livestream, feeding the fans with content they desperately needed, not knowing that the couple yearned for it, too. every hour of those months was a trek.
but, as their eyes locked under the fluorescent lights, every second was worth the wait.
he had a suitcase trailing behind him, plain black with a dark luggage tag, and a backpack over one shoulder. the sweater he wore had a small, embroidered rose directly in the centre, and it didn't take any time at all for roisin to recognise it as her merch. it made her grin as he approached her, picking up his pace to a light jog - the closer he got, the more painfully her heart jumped in her chest...
until they were face to face once again, tangled in each other's embrace. feeling the rise and fall of his chest, roisin realised that they were breathing at the same pace and their hearts were pounding as one; she wondered if they had ever been out of sync, even before they met. unable to stop smiling, she curled her fingers through his soft locks when his grip tightened on her waist, head buried in her shoulder. she almost collapsed on the spot when he giggled.
"what's so funny, axel?" roisin asked, voice barely above a whisper.
his voice came in dulcet tones, vibrating across her skin, feeling different than it did over the phone. "you feel so different, but you breathe the same." he admitted, "and i like your hair long."
"oh, yeah?" she smiled as he drew his head back, taking a large, ring-clad finger and twirling a straight, chestnut lock around it. "because you haven't changed a bit."
"i was just waiting for you to catch up to my level."
"level of what? success? badassness?"
"my level of mental stability. which, guaranteed, isn't the best, but it's better than where you were." he teased with a smirk, despite the fact that there was some truth in his words. maybe they needed some time apart so, in the end, they could get closer. and roisin had gotten better.
"since we're on the same level, can we get, like, married, or something?" the brunette joked. he scoffed, eyes rolling comedically before he handed her his suitcase. though, she saw the blush across his cheeks before he slung his arm over her shoulder and steered her away from the crowd.
"chivalry is dead, and you killed it." she joked, readjusting her grip. the masses thinned as they neared the exit of the airport, and she noticed the boy beside her looking around nervously. "hey, axel. you're okay- we're okay. we're just gonna take the train to brighton."
"it's really busy." he sounded breathless. she knew what he was implying: that someone would recognise him because he was with her. for a split second, she felt overwhelming guilt that she was the one causing so much anxiety for him - but then realised that it wasn't about her.
there was a bump in her pocket that demanded her attention, lifting a bundle of black fabric from around her keys to hold a mask. he was still unable to focus on her, dark eyes darting back and forth, so roisin took the hand that rested around her shoulders and pressed it onto his tanned skin. "i knew you'd forget yours, so i stole a prototype."
"you're making masks? as merch?" he inquired, seeming much more relaxed when the cloth settled over the bottom half of his face. the simple design, an embroidered rose like that on corpse's sweater, made the shine in his eyes even more prominent. he would argue that it was down to the company he kept, not the accessories he wore. "why?"
"there are other people out there who don't like to show their face. anonymous streamers, people in general. if they want one with a cute rose on," she smoothed a painted nail across the design, across his cheek, "they can get it."
"this is why i love you." axel tugged her close once again, earning a fairy-like giggle from parted lips. "you're so thoughtful."
"i've got a huge heart. 'lotta love to share." she half-joked.
the couple came to a slow stop at the train station, a mere few minute walk from the airport. it was just as busy, too, with similar souls that she observed before: the annoyed business-people, the happily reunited families. a new addition, though, were the loved-up couples that she and her boyfriend just happened to be a part of. intertwined hands, locked eyes, secret whispers and glimmering jewellery. the sight made her reach a hand to her collarbone where her necklace sat. there wasn't a day that passed where she didn't wear it.
roisin took a second to glance up at axel, admiring the sharpness of his jaw through the mask and the kind, oval shape of his eyes. his beauty was immense, dangerously so, and she still found it hard to believe that he was hers. her axel.
interrupted by the rush of the approaching train, she tore her eyes from his and focused on minding the gap. however, as soon as they sat down, she couldn't help the way her eyes wandered to him like a moth to a flame. moulded from stardust, just for her.
"how long are you staying for?" she asked before she could stop herself.
"how long do you want me to stay for?" he rebutted, meeting her curious gaze with his own. an unspoken conversation happened then, the promise of forever spoken in nothing but the meeting of their eyes. breathing a laugh, he ducked his head down to give the shorter girl a chaste, longing kiss. "we'll look for a place together."
"and it'll work out this time." roisin stated, leaving no room for doubt.
"of course it will." he reassured. "there's nothing standing in our way."
"i still haven't met your sister... that's kind of standing in my way. personally." she chuckled.
"i haven't met yours either." he quirked an eyebrow at her. "or any of your other siblings, apart from sean."
"i don't talk to my family. we're not... we were never on good terms."
"you haven't told me why." he posed the question in a way that it was easy to avoid, but roisin didn't have a problem talking about it. with him, anyway.
"first, it was me coming out. they weren't happy with that. then it was the slew of girlfriends i had because i was acting out, then it was the alcohol problems. to top it off, i never really found out what i wanted to do with my life. compared to my siblings, i was the failure. the youngest, and the worst."
"i'm sorry, rosie. do you think things could be different between you now? you're definitely the furthest thing from a failure." axel offered a solution, but his tone was comforting and soft.
it was strange, but she couldn't help the smile that graced her features, especially considering her next words. "no. i don't think so. but i have sean and felix and evelien and marzia, and they're the only siblings i need. i don't feel like i'm missing anything anymore."
silence settled over them for a few seconds. "i don't speak to my family either, but they would like you. i know they would."
"yeah. you can invite them to our wedding. maybe it can get super dramatic and we can argue with them, then end up running away to our honeymoon early."
"if that's what my wife would want on our wedding day, then my wife will fuckin' get it."
the background of blurred trees and clouds in an impossibly blue sky rushed behind and in front of them, encompassing the train in something safe and beautiful. fields of wildflowers lined the train tracks from london to brighton, only dampened by the mild cold they had endured but persevering despite the frost. it reminded roisin of herself. something as delicate as a rose crushed by the weight of frigidity that couldn't begin to understand her. she was wilting. resorting to alcohol and toxicity in the form of half-assed, rushed relationships in the hopes of cracking just a fragment of the ice.
the girl broke every bone trying to escape.
then the sun was introduced. rehab, cutting ties and sobriety begun to melt every inch of that which suffocated her. even though the internet loathed her, she still had hope. she had her brother, her new friends. her axel. it seemed as though that happiness was merely the passing of clouds when she began to freeze over again, the rose trapped in the iceberg. she recalled loneliness that no amount of liquor could cure.
but, like the clockwork of a new day, she was okay again. eventually, she expected the inevitable downfall after overwhelming happiness. another spew of online harassment, another breakup. it was as predictable as a cliche movie.
however, bathing in the scarce light filtering through the windows, handing her love an airpod as the relaxing beats of their song drowned out the arguments, agreements and adoration of everyone else, she thought that maybe this was it. maybe there would be no more sadness as enveloping as that she had felt before. maybe they would be okay.
liked by ── corpse_husband, jack_septic_eye, pewdiepie & nine million others.
roisinmcloughlin ── i'm grateful that this past year has brought me my favourite person, and a hundred new reasons to be the best version of myself that i can. for my friends, for my brother. but mainly for my other half. corpse, my beautiful constellation, we can do anything we want if we do it together. we can roam the midnight la streets or watch the sunrise over brighton pier, we can build a life together and tear it all down in a second just to start a new adventure. i'm so painfully in love with you. i'm not good at opening up to people but 2021 is the year where i'm going to try, and it starts with me telling you that you're everything to me, and i love you.
love, your brightest star <3
username1 ── my parents
username2 ── LITERALLY LOVE U LITERALLY LOVE YOU
username3 ── adopt me :)
username4 ── 2021 is the year of cosie
valkyrae ── Dibs on maid of honour!!!!!
pokimanelol ── no me
imoyum ── no the fuck????? me
username5 ── i still think she doesn't deserve him but i gotta say... that shit cute
username6 ── AYO WE'RE WINNING OVER THE HATERS.
username7 ── happy new year!
liked by ── roisinmcloughlin, frankenstein, jack_septic_eye & nine million others
corpse_husband ── Happy new year. 10/10/20 is out everywhere at midnight. It's about the love of my life, and it's very different from anything else i've released... hope you guys like it :)
username8 ── what the actual fuck
username9 ── oh to have corpse underscore husband write a song about you
roisinmcloughlin ── YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WROTE A SONG ABOUT ME CROSPE
corpse_husband ── Who the fuck is cropse
roisinmcloughlin ── we need to have a little chat, buddy
username10 ── ROSIE HAD NO IDEA EITHERIACBKDSCAN
username11 ── best kept secret. happy mf new year
username12 ── drop some lyrics
corpse_husband ── hazy memories of you crowd the conflict in my mind
username13 ── that's true love your honour
note ── so! the end! thank you guys so much for coming on this journey with me :D i never imagined in a million years that i would get THIS MANY reads on a fic and it's absolutely crazy how much this growth has meant for me. it's improved my confidence in writing and it's helped me fulfil something that's always been important to me: making other people happy. throughout this book, i've made you cry, i've made you laugh, but most importantly, i've made you feel some type of positive emotion. i've helped you find joy, even if for a moment. and that means more to me than anything <3
thank you so much for letting me tell this story, and for encouraging me when i felt like giving up. your comments make me crack up and i go back and read them so often it's insane. i can't say anything but thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
in case you missed it, there is a rorpse/cosie spotify playlist! the code will be at the end of the chapter if you feel like listening.
i've enjoyed this journey so much. i never expected to get 750k+ (???????? wtf) reads, let alone such a kind and supportive group of people reading. you're all so beautiful, inside and out, and i hope you get everything you want in life.
remember, not everyone is perfect. everyone has trauma. and, one day, you WILL find that person who understands you. the corpse to your rosie, if you will.
i love you all with all of my heart. thank you.
(p.s, it's my 18th birthday today! this is my birthday gift to you. have an amazing 14th of march and stream DAYWALKER! by corpse and mgk!)
edit ── writing this on the 9th of may 2023, i turned 20 in march and its been a very long time since i first posted this fic. i never ever thought it would get this many reads or this much love, and it still baffles me to this day.
just thought i would let you guys know i don't read comments on this book anymore nor do i go back and read anything to do with this book as it makes me cringe OOPS but I'm glad you guys are still enjoying to this day <3