Hope's POV:
***
Nearly 2 weeks has past since I last saw Ryder and there's still no new sign of him. I haven't told anyone about our previous meeting and I intend to remain that way, he'll tell them himself when he's ready - if that ever happens. I unfortunately had to return to Rhode Island in a rush the day after as I still have lessons to attend, but it did make it easier to hide the information from Kyle.
I sit silently on my bed, tears oozing out of my eyes as I hold the last photograph I ever took with the old Ryder. We're standing in front of a rollercoaster, hand in hand as I lean my head against his shoulder and smile brightly. I don't remember ever smiling that hard again. It became a habit for me within the past two weeks, I'd watch a cliche sad movie with a tub of Ben and Jerry's, and then continue to weep over the fact that I may never see him again. It's a cycle, as if I'm feeling Ryder's 'death' all over again.
I haven't spoken to Kyle either, he continuously texts and calls but I find a way to avoid them, I can't speak to him and continue to lie. In the past couple days however, he hasn't reached out at all. I'm back to my normal, boring life.
Old memories of Ryder and I circulate my mind as I shut my eyes, shifting off into a deep, slumber sleep.
***
I groan as I throw the heavy cream coloured sheets off my body and lift myself off my bed. I get ready for yet another dreadful day filled with unrelieved lessons, putting on the double hearted necklace that Ryder had gifted me for our one year anniversary.
It's break and I am once again standing by an open locker speaking to Nora while her attention remains on Matt, who stands behind with his friends in a large group. His attention is on Nora as well.
"Ugh, just get a room" I tease while pretending to gag. The feeling of nostalgia warms my body. Nora rolls her eyes in response just as the bell rings. I turn to shut my locker closed and turn back around, heading to my lessons, when I hear a large bang. My head snaps to my right, towards the main entrance to the large building.
A ground of four tall men crowd the lobby, in the front resides a furious Kyle. I could practically see the steam blowing out of his ears as he glares at me, storming towards me in a fitted button up shirt.
"Oh no" I murmur under my breath to myself, understanding that he's here for me. Following him are the sorority sluts: Dominic, Carter, and Cole.
I ignore the ogling eyes of horny college girls as they check out my brother and the rest of the power puff girls.
They all proceed to make their way towards me as Kyle slams his fist on my locker door and grabs my arm, "We're leaving, now" he growls in a whisper, leaving no room for questions. He leads me towards the main door of the school with my arm. I don't bother attempting to refuse as I know what's he's like when he's angry, besides he's twice my size.
Once we get out of the school, Kyle heads towards his car with Carter and Cole. Dominic stays beside me.
"What?" I question with an aggravated tone as I stand with my arms crossed above my chest, my eyes glaring at him through the side. He stands still with no emotion, leaning against the hood of my car.
He wasn't like this the first time I met him.
"We need to go back to New York. So drive" he instructs, nodding his head towards my hand where my car keys are already placed. "Why are you with me then?" I ask him, he rolls his eyes as he pulls his hands from out of his pockets and stands tall, towering over my body.
"Kyle brought one car and you can't just leave your car here so he told me to come with you" he informs me. I don't make any efforts to reply to him, but instead head towards my car without another word.
The car ride back to the city is completely silent, apart from the quiet music playing through the speakers n the background. I obviously want to know why Kyle was so angry but I didn't want to ask Dominic, I'm afraid of the answer considering there could only be one.
My eyes shutter closed, but I force them open and continue to drive straight, eventually releasing a yawn. Dominic turns his head towards me from the window by his side, "let me drive" he suggests softly, "you're tired".
I swear this guy is bipolar.
I was tired and it was obvious, so I don't protest and pull over. I hop over to the passenger side while Dominic gets out of the car and straightens his black vest, over his white button up, before walking over to the drivers side.
I lean my head against the window and let myself drift off to sleep.
***
I jump awake when I feel someone shaking my arm. I look to see who the culprit is. When I realise it's just Dominic, I calm down. "We're here" he says quietly. I nod and get out of the car.
As soon as I open the door to Kyle's apartment, he stands there pacing. He's clearly still angry. This must be bad. Kyle's head snaps to meet mine and he begims marching towards me.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" he screams, pointing an accusationary finger in my direction. "I don't know" I reply quietly, looking down to the ground to avoid his pained eyes burning into my soul. "FUCK HOPE, THAT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH", he continues to scream, throwing his phone across the room. It flies right by my head and smashes into the wall. Slightly feared, I step away from him and towards the door. "Kyle", Dominic sternly announces, causes Kyle to snap back and take a deep breath in.
I realise that he isn't angry, he's hurt. I would be too, I held so much anger towards Ryder, I need to understand that I wasn't the only one grieving him. Kyle was too, if anything, he took it harder than me. Ryder and Kyle were attached at the limb.
I don't know what to say. I attempt forming a sentence but I can't because I honestly don't know why I didn't tell Kyle.
Kyle is the most trusting person I know. I usually tell him every single detail of my life , no matter how small it is, and that's how our relationship is. I can only imagine what he must feel now. I haven't told him something that happened in my life that made a major impact on me, or him. Kyle and I were each other's wall during the aftermath of Ryder's accident, I let him continue to grieve alone.
Then there's also the fact that Kyle has every right to know. He has as much of a right to know about Ryder as I did. Kyle and Ryder used to be like Nora and I, I couldn't ever imagine losing Nora. That would destroy me.
I gulp as I realise I don't have an answer for him, looking towards Dominic who's eyes are already on me, probably spewing with hatred. Growing uncomfortable, I look down to Kyle's shoes and think heavily for a moment. After thinking, I decide to answer with the only thing I could imagine. No matter how stupid it sounds. It's the truth.
"I'm sorry, Kyle. I didn't think he wanted people to know and I myself didn't know what to do with any of the information he gave me. He never told me anything, he just explained why he's still alive and I'm willing to tell you everything he said, word for word but please forgive me" I say honestly. I look up to meet his eyes and notice that they have softened.
He walks towards me after a short moment and gives me a hug. I can tell that he's still slightly pissed, but I'm guessing he just thought about it from my point of view.
After I finish explaining what Ryder had told me, I remember one key question.
"How did you find out about it?" I ask, he stares towards the ground in what I'm assuming is embarrassment.
"I might have found it on the security tapes of the diner you and Nora went to." I just look at him with no expression clear on my face. He rubs the back of his neck before continuing. "I just wanted to see what happened that made you leave so fast, and then mom told me you were acting like you did when Ryder ... left. And you weren't replying to my texts or calls and I'm sorry that I invaded your privacy I ju-"
"How the fuck did you get into private security footage" I ask cutting him off.
Rude, I know.
He looks towards Dominic and Carter, basically begging them for help. Cole had left ages ago. Once he realises that they are no help, he just looks back to me and replies with a simple "that doesn't matter right now."
I'm about to protest to his answer but I'm interrupted by a knock on the door. Carter jumps up and runs to get it. I watch him greet whoever is at the door, both of their low voices speaking to each other quietly. I'm now curious as to who it was because Carter's back is covering the person.
And that's when he walks in.
Ryder.