Before the world went down the crapper, I wasn't the biggest fan of eggs. I never liked the taste; they grossed me out. But now, something about the smell of eggs sizzling in a pan enticed me. My eyes stayed glued onto Carol as she cooked, a smile on her lips as she occasionally looked at me. I couldn't help but feel like a dog begging for a small taste of human food as I sat on the dirt between Daryl's legs. Daryl, being the problematic child he was, stuffed his face, making a sound that I could only deem as a moan to try and rub it in my face that I have yet to eat. As if that weren't enough, he nudged me every few moments with his knees, trying his best to annoy me this fine morning. Too bad for him; I'm too focused on filling my empty belly with delicious eggs.
Beside us, Rick and his family sat. Carl and Lori were eating, but Rick didn't move a muscle. He seemed trapped inside his own head, his eyes unwavering as they stared at the ground. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. If I had more energy, I would spend a long time thinking about this, but with my growling stomach, it was hard to focus on anything. Finally, Carol served a plate and handed it to me, laughing as I anxiously shot up and grabbed it. Immediately, I started piling the egg into my mouth, smiling wide with delight. Daryl nudged me again, a smirk plastered on his face. I smiled up at him and continued to chew. My mood skyrocketed when the first forkful of eggs hit my tongue.
Glenn stood up, eyes darting to everyone in the camp before settling on me. Fear and anxiety were evident in them as he looked behind Daryl and me. He walked to the middle of the camp and cleared his throat, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he looked at us. I shoveled the final bite of eggs into my mouth when he decided to speak up.
"So, um..." He began, not looking at us anymore and finding the ground fascinating. "So, the barn is full of walkers." My eyes widened, and eggs flew down the wrong tube, making me start coughing to clear the tube. Did I hear him right? Walkers in the barn? Daryl patted my back harshly, helping me get the eggs back up and down the right way. Without missing a beat, I set my plate down next to me and jumped up to my feet, deciding to go ahead and check out the barn for myself. I've walked past that barn many times in the few days we've been here. How could I not notice if there were walkers in there?
Shane walked next to me, the two of us nodding at one another. This is something we can agree on. We need to deal with this. Shane placed a hand on my lower back, urging me forward as he started to jog. I kept pace with him, looking behind and seeing the rest of the group following us. We approached the barn, stopping as the big wooden building stood tall. Shane walked forward, holding his hand out to stop me from coming with him as he peered between the cracks. As soon as he got to the door, that's when I heard it; That's when I heard the moans and growls coming from the barn. How could I have never noticed this?
"You cannot tell me y'all are okay with this?" Shane spat as he walked back to us, pacing anxiously and angrily.
"We're not," I answered. I really wasn't okay with this. Who knows when those doors and locks will give out? We're gonna be the first ones to become walker chow. But we can't go in there, guns-blazing. This isn't our land; it isn't our home.
"We're guests here. This isn't our land." Rick reminded Shane and me; the same intensity in his eyes matched Shane's. Glad to see that we're at least on the same page.
"This is our lives!" Shane shouted as he continued to pace.
"Lower your voices." Glenn pleaded.
"We can't just sweep this under the rug," Andrea argued, keeping her voice level.
"It ain't right. Not remotely." Shane sneered, "Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right, or we've just got to go."
"We can't go," I said firmly. We can't just pack up and leave when Sophia is still out there, even though I was sure we'd never find her. But, most importantly, we can't go because Lori's pregnant. This is a good deal, and we can't fuck it up now.
"Why, June? Why?" Shane snapped, irritation seeping into his voice.
"Because my daughter is still out there," Carol answered, reminding Shane of the little girl who was lost and scared in the woods infested with walkers.
"I think it's time we start considering the other possibility," Shane argued, cupping his face in frustration.
"We're not leaving Sophia behind." I snapped as I walked up to Shane, not without confirming that she was gone. That's what I wanted to add, but I kept my mouth shut.
"I'm close to finding this little girl!" Daryl argued, "I just found her damn doll two days ago!"
"You found her doll, Daryl." Shane pointed out, "That's what you did. You found a doll." Daryl looked at Shane, anger immediately flushing his features. Well, there went his good mood.
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Daryl shouted as he got increasingly angry. I stepped away from Shane and approached Daryl, wrapping my arm around his bicep to hold him from lunging at the irrational man. If I know Daryl, he will lunge.
"I'm just saying what needs to be said!" Shane shouted back at Daryl, "You get a lead in the first 48 hours—"
"Shane!" Rick stopped Shane, trying to get his best friend to calm down. Those were the old rules. They don't pertain to now.
"Let me tell you something. If she was out there alive and she saw you coming all methed out, buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she'd run in the other direction!" Shane shouted, stepping dangerously close to Daryl and me. I tightened my grip on Daryl and braced myself, knowing the inevitable was to come. Daryl pushed me down as he lunged forward, causing me to land painfully on my ass, but that wasn't enough to stop me from jumping back up and getting in between the two men with Rick. I placed my hands on Daryl's chest and pushed with all my strength, causing him to stumble back and look at me angrily. I hurriedly ran to him and continued to barricade him away from Shane, not wanting to help kick Shane's ass, when he landed a punch on the redneck in front of me. Daryl stared at me and scoffed, backing up but still pacing like a wild animal. I walked up to him and grabbed his hand, rubbing it with my thumb to calm him down.
"Now, just let me talk to Hershel!" Rick shouted at Shane, his hands still extended out to stop any possible fighting.
"What are you going to figure out?" Shane yelled angrily at Rick.
"If we're going to stay, if we're going to clear this barn, I have to talk him into it." Rick explained, "It's his land."
"Hershel sees those things in there as people – sick people – his wife, his stepson," Dale spoke, getting all our attention.
"You knew?" I asked as I dropped Daryl's hand and moved closer to the older man.
"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel," Dale admitted, his blue eyes pleading with me to see reason.
"And you waited a night?" Shane sneered
"I thought we could survive one more night!" Dale argued. "We did. I was waiting until the morning to say something, but Glenn wanted to be the one to do it." Shane scoffed and turned to Rick and me, his eyes burning with anger.
"The man is crazy!" Shane shouted, "If Hershel thinks those things are alive or not!" The barn doors creaked as the walkers pushed against them, the chains rattled, and the growls became louder. I stood, frozen in place, and reached for my knife, ready if the chains failed and the walkers escaped. The chains kept, and the walkers stayed trapped in the barn, forcing me to conclude that we were safe if those chains stayed put. It seemed highly risky to put our faith in some chains.
"Rick, you go talk to Hershel," I said, turning to the group. If Hershel were to listen to anyone, it'd be Rick, "The rest of us go back to camp, and we wait until there's an answer. We're not doing anything stupid." I looked at Shane and emphasized the last part. As much as I want to settle this, I realize that it isn't my call to make. It's Hershel's. The group started to walk back, Daryl waiting for me to join him as Rick, Shane, and I stood in a small circle.
"June, you know this needs to be dealt with." Shane spat, trying to get me to go onto his side.
"It does need to be dealt with, but it's Hershel's land." I argued, "We don't do anything unless we get his okay."
"I agree." Rick spoke, looking at his friend, "We're guests. We have to respect his wishes." Shane shook his head and spat on the ground.
"If you want to set up a watch to make sure these chains and locks hold, be our guest." I told Shane as I eyed the barn doors, "But that's all you're doing. I'm not letting you jeopardize our chances of staying here by being stupid." Shane scoffed and walked away, circling the barn. Rick turned to look at me and nodded. I returned the gesture and turned on my heel, seeing Daryl had already left, but Carl had stayed back. I walked forward and tried to grin at him, resting my hand on his head and ruffling his hair. I walked, noticing that Carl was joining me, and looked at him, wondering what he thought.
We walked silently as we entered the camp; Lori approached us and smiled tightly. At least she was trying to keep her spirits up, or maybe she was not thinking about it since there was nothing she could do.
"Baby," Lori spoke, her eyes on her son beside me, "Why don't we ask June here to teach us a bit about History? Take a break from math." Fuck math! I'm more than happy to spread my knowledge if that's gonna take their minds off everything, "If that's okay with her."
"It's more than okay." As we sat by the abandoned fire, I answered, "Tell me, Carl. What was the last thing you can remember learning about in school?" Carl stayed quiet, his eyes landing on the dirt before him as he thought back. He stuck his tongue out as he stayed deep in thought; I don't blame the kid for not remembering. It feels like years ago since the world was ordinary.
"We were learning about the American Revolution." He finally answered after some time. I smiled at him and leaned forward, my brain already going a hundred miles a minute with all the facts.
"Well," I started, "I guess I'll start by asking you if you knew some of the reasons why the revolution started?" Carl shook his head and leaned forward, trying to invest himself. I looked up at Lori, asking her the same question, and smiled when she shrugged her shoulders.
"So, when the first settlers came to North America, they came to escape the religious restrictions they faced back home in England. The revolution wasn't sudden, it had been brewing for a long time, but the main thing was the taxes and acts the British forced upon the 13 colonies and their people. In 1773, the British imposed a tax on their teas; now, it may be stupid to you to get angry about a tax on tea, but that was far from the problem." I looked towards the house and saw Rick entering. Hopefully, he can talk to Hershel calmly about the barn.
"The colonist were tired of being taxed without any representation in parliament. The war cry for the entire revolution was 'No taxation without representation.' On December 16th of 1773, a radical group called the Sons of Liberty snuck onto one of the ships carrying tea, and they dumped 342 chests of tea into the harbor, later known as the Boston Tea Party." I left out that they were dressed as Natives, but I could circle back on it later when I teach him about how racist the United States was and still is – well, maybe was is the correct term. As far as I'm concerned, there is no country anymore. Just people trying to survive day in and day out.
"But It's just tea?" Carl laughed, finding it funny how the British could get angry over such a small thing.
"It may have just been tea, but it was an act of defiance." I smiled, happy that he was engrossed in the story I was trying to teach, "King George III over in England was furious, so he passed coercive acts, also known as the intolerable acts. These acts closed the Boston harbor, stopping all trade and goods from entering or leaving the colonies. They ended free elections of town officials in Massachusetts, moved all authority to Britain and British judges, and required the colonist to pay for any expenses to feed and home British soldiers."
"They couldn't say no?" Carl asked, leaning in further.
"No. It was now law, according to the King. The King hoped this would stop and squish any rebellion, but it only made the colonists angrier. In 1774, delegates from the 13 colonies met in Philadelphia for the First Continental Congress to determine how to resist British oppression. They wrote a list of resolves for the British, but—" I looked up to see Rick coming my way, motioning for me to go to him. I looked at Carl and smiled, "We'll finish this later, okay? Your dad is calling me over." I stood up and looked at Lori, who smiled at me thankfully. I raced over to Rick and stopped. His eyes were hard as he leaned against the porch step railing. Something tells me that this didn't go well. I felt a pit in my stomach as he opened his mouth, confirming my thoughts.
"He wants us gone," Rick said, frowning. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, looking back at Lori and Carl, who were staring at us. Her condition will progress, and before we know it, we'll have a baby on our hands. We can't be out there with a wailing baby. That's just ringing a dinner bell for the walkers.
"Negotiate." I told Rick, "We can't leave." Rick turned to me and nodded, fully understanding the gravity of the situation. "I can't just sit here and twiddle my thumbs while you try to figure things out with Hershel. I'll figure out some chores to do around here, maybe go out and look for Sophia some more." Rick nodded and sighed, frustrated with the whole situation. He walked forward, his hand reaching out for me so I could follow him. I walked alongside him, my stress levels through the roof and my head pounding. I leaned against the Chevy and rubbed my temples while studying the map before me. Rick and I studied the map silently, both stressed out and not in the mood to talk. Rick rested a gun on the hood and motioned for me to take it, his tired blue eyes looking up at me. I grabbed it and holstered it, deciding to just walk east for a few miles and return.
"Rick." I turned and saw Hershel approaching us; his sleeves rolled up. His baby blue eyes landed on my gun, and a flash of disappointment crossed his face.
"Hershel," I greeted, "I have my gun out cause I'm going to go look for Sophia."
"Before you do that, I can use Rick's help with something." Hershel nodded his gaze firmly on Rick.
"I'm in then." Hershel looked at me and gave me a tight smile. I know that look. He doesn't need me. Which is fine, but it would've given me something else to do.
"Thank you, but I just need Rick." I smiled at Hershel, nodded, and jumped onto the Chevy to rest before my long trek ahead of me.
"It's cool." I smiled at the older gentleman, "I'll probably walk the perimeter and make sure Shane isn't making an ass of himself."
"Don't go anywhere without me, okay?" Rick said. I thought he was gonna stay behind and talk to Hershel. Well, I guess this gives him the opportunity to, duh. I smirked at him and raised my hand to my head, saluting him and rolling my eyes.
"Sir, yes, sir." I teased and watched as the two of them walked away. Rick turned back several times as if not wanting to go. It seemed as if he wished I would call out and devise an excuse for why he couldn't help Hershel. I shook my head and jumped off the Chevy, deciding to make myself useful and patrol the perimeter. I can sit on top of the RV as Dale does, but it's much better for me to move around and walk. I walked a few minutes before being stopped by a nervous-looking Glenn and T-Dog.
"What's up, guys?" I asked as I stood my ground, my hand occasionally coming up to grip the handle of the 9 mm pistol on my hip. I might have to swipe this from Rick cause it's a mighty fine gun. T-Dog nudged Glenn, urging him to spit out whatever Glenn wanted to speak with me about.
"Do you think..." Glenn trailed, his eyes landing on our boots, "Do you think I did the right thing." I bit my lip and looked at the two men, unsure what to say. I stepped forward and rested my hands on T's and Glenn's shoulders.
"You did." I reassured him, "I'm happy you told everyone. Don't stress out about it any longer, okay? Plus, I know a certain farmer's daughter has been eyeing you for the past few minutes you've been standing here talking to me." I smirked as I pointed in the direction of Maggie. She was perched against the porch railing and had her eyes dead set on Glenn, her face unreadable from this distance. "T, why don't you patrol with me here." T-Dog looked at me and smirked, nodding his head while he pushed Glenn away in the opposite direction, urging him to talk to Maggie. T-Dog started walking with me, enjoying the silence and trying our hardest to forget about the shit show that was today.
"What do you think is gonna happen?" T-Dog finally asked, glancing at me and running his hand alongside the fence. I frowned, honestly not knowing. Something tells me that we're outta here, though.
"Honestly, I don't know," I whispered, feeling useless. Usually, there's an answer for everything, and I pursue it, but today, I have to stay put and wait with the others.
"If it were up to you, what would you do?" T-Dog asked, his kind brown eyes looking to me for answers.
"If it were completely up to me and there would be no consequences for my actions, I would eliminate the threat," I answered him, knowing in my heart that it's what should be done. "We can't run the risk of those things getting out and wiping us out, but It's not up to me."
"Yeah, yeah." T-Dog muttered, "It's up to Hershel." We dropped it at that and walked in more silence until we reached the west side of the fence, far away from everyone else.
"T?" I stopped and faced him. He smiled lightly at me, urging me to continue, "How do you feel about Shane?" T-Dog stayed quiet, looking lost in his thoughts before opening his mouth.
"He seems a bit unhinged these days," T-Dog muttered, trying to keep his voice down. I pursed my lips and sighed, running a hand through my hair and groaning. "What's up?"
"I thought I was the only one noticing how 'unhinged' he was." I answered using his term to describe Shane, "I'm worried that one of these days, he's going to snap and put all of us in danger."
"Man," T-Dog chuckled, "I don't envy you." I smiled, confused as to why he would say that. He grinned and shook his head, "All this weight on your shoulders? Lori said the weight is distributed evenly among you, Rick, and Shane. But everyone knows most decisions are up to you and Rick these days." I bit my lip, wondering how much truth was in what he was saying. "You and Rick have been doing everything to keep us going, to keep us safe... so if push comes to shove, you can expect me to back y'all up."
"T, I appreciate it." I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders or attempted to with the height difference, "Let's just keep this between us, though, okay?" T-dog nodded at me and continued walking, leading us back into camp. We took our time and exchanged a few jokes, letting the stress roll off us. We stopped just before the non-existent fire and smiled at one another, both of us in a reasonably good mood.
Damn, I wonder how long that would last. I looked up at Glenn, guarding the camp, Dale's usual fishing hat on top of his head. I shook my head and smiled. Best to ride the feeling of serenity while it lasts. Deciding it was best to kick my feet up and relax, I retreated to the tent, hoping to find Daryl. I might as well get a few minutes or even an hour's rest before setting out to look for Sophia. I zipped open the tent and frowned, noticing he wasn't there. Where could Dixon be? I crawled over to my sleeping back and laid down, sighing heavily as my muscles relaxed.
How strange. It seems like I've done nothing whatsoever since coming to the farm. I've only been the red-headed bitch who barks orders at everyone else but does nothing herself. If I'm going to prove to myself and everyone here in camp that I'm just as good of a leader as Rick, I will have to prove myself. I heard a rustling outside my tent, my heart rate accelerated, and my hand immediately flew to the gun on my hip as I sat up. I slowly crawled out of the tent, keeping my eyes and ears perched for any movements or noises. I stood up, keeping low just in case a walker had stumbled onto the farm, and slowly stalked around my tent. I peeked around the tent and saw Shane stalking toward the woods, his burly stiff body making a quick dash. What is he running after? Did he see a walker? Nah, if he saw a walker, he would've said something. I may not have a lot of trust in him, but I trust him enough for him to let me know if something stumbled onto the farm. I shook my head and sighed, deciding that a brief moment of relaxation wasn't for me.
In the distance, Glenn and Maggie were sharing a kiss. A smile spread as I saw them, happy that the awkward Korean man finally found someone that made him happy. I dashed ahead, trying not to ruin their moment, and returned to the campsite. Lori was off cutting who knows what. Carl was a few feet from her reading, and I was sitting by the RV, twiddling my thumbs and waiting for Rick to return. This is exactly what I didn't want to be doing: twiddling my thumbs and waiting. There's nothing to do around here that Lori and Carol haven't already taken care of, and I can't walk around the fence forever.
After a bit, I groaned and decided to make a beeline toward the house. If there's something for me to do around here, it's there. This is the first time since all this broke out that I feel bored, something I thought I would never feel again... it was actually nice. I approached the steps where Glenn and Maggie were sitting, the two of them giggling amongst themselves. Maggie smiled at me, extending her hand and inviting me to sit with them.
"Hey, June." As soon as I sat down, Maggie greeted me, "I thought you and Rick were going to go out today?" I smiled at them and scanned the area to see if he and Hershel were back. I opened my mouth to speak and noticed T-Dog and Andrea walking toward us fast, both looking concerned.
"Where is everyone?" They both asked in unison as they stopped in front of me. Glenn stood up and looked at everyone nervously.
"You haven't seen Rick?" Glenn asked everyone before looking down at me for a definitive answer. I sighed, knowing that my good mood would dissipate within the next thirty minutes, and stood up.
"We were supposed to leave a while ago, but Hershel approached him, asking him for help." I explained, "That was probably an hour." I didn't know the exact time since I don't have a watch or anything, something I desperately need to look for on my next run.
"Yeah, you were." Daryl's harsh voice came from my left, startling me. He and Carol approached us, his angry blue eyes trained on me. "What the hell?"
"Didn't you and Rick say you were going out?" Carol asked as she looked at me.
"Damn it. Isn't anybody taking this thing seriously?!" Daryl exclaimed, "We got us a damn trail." Turning around, he pointed to the tree line, "Here we go." I saw Shane speed walk towards us, the bag of guns slung over his shoulder. What is he doing with the guns!? Hershel made it clear that he didn't want any of us carrying on his land! Shane came closer and closer, finally stopping next to Daryl and eyeing us all angrily.
"What are you doing?" I asked him, trying my best to keep my cool. There's no way in hell I'm letting him ruin this for us. Shane brushed me off and looked at Daryl.
"You with me, man?" He asked Daryl. Daryl nodded his head and accepted the shotgun that Shane handed to him.
"Shane, stop it," I warned, dangerously stepping into his face. Shane looked down at me and scoffed, his fierce brown eyes holding so much hatred that it almost scared me.
"It's time to grow up." He spat at me, specks of his saliva hitting my cheeks. "You got yours?" He shouted as he looked back at Andrea.
"Yeah." She answered, fear on her face, "Where's Dale?" Shane brushed her off and continued handing out the guns.
"We can't carry, Shane," I shouted, finally grabbing his attention. "I'm not going to let you fuck this all up for us just cause you want to have a pissing contest with Rick."
"Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was safe. But now we know it ain't. How about you, man? You gonna protect yours?" Glenn took the gun, looking back at Maggie. "Can you shoot?" Shane asked Maggie.
"Can you stop?" Maggie demanded, getting just as frustrated with Shane as I was.
"Dude, if Hershel walks up to us and sees us with all these guns..." I trailed, shoving Shane back and forcing him to look at me, "We're out on our asses, and we both know that can't happen." Shane looked down at me, his face red as his hands clenched into fists. I could see he wanted to hit me, and I was just waiting for him to try. It could be my cockiness, but I was sure I could knock him on his ass. And if I couldn't, I know Daryl would come to my rescue. So either way, Shane is fucked.
"We can't leave!" Carl pleaded.
"What is this?" Lori asked
"We're not going anywhere, okay?" Shane reassured Carl. "No, look, Hershel, he's just got to understand. Okay? He-- well, he's gonna have to. Now we need to find Sophia, am I right?" He squatted down next to Carl, looking at him in the eyes. "Now, I want you to take this. Take it, Carl, and keep your mother safe." I shoved the gun away from Carl and gently pushed him behind me, refusing to let Shane carry on like a madman.
"Rick and I said no guns. This is not your call to make. It's not your decision to make." I sneered at him, asserting myself and prepping to defend myself. He looked up at me and stood fully, towering over me. I've taken down guys bigger and heavier than him before. He doesn't scare me.
"Oh shit." I heard T-Dog exclaim from next to us. It was enough for Shane and I to tear our glares away. I looked towards the barn and saw what T-Dog was so shocked about. Jimmy was in the lead generating as much noise as possible, while Hershel and Rick had two walkers in snare poles. Shane shoved me lightly as he ran forward at full speed. I recomposed myself and glared at the man before sprinting ahead, immediately catching up and passing the asshole. The group trailed behind, all running but being left in the dust. I reached Hershel and Rick first, trying to warn them that Shane was on the warpath as quickly as I could until Shane came crashing into me. I landed on the ground on all fours, anger surging through me as I looked up at the built man above me.
"What do you think you're doing?!" He shouted, ignoring me entirely and glaring at the older man and Rick before him. I pushed myself up, wedging myself between Shane and the walkers as safely as possible, forcefully using my legs to keep me steady while pushing the man back.
"Why do your people have guns?" Hershel asked, tearing his gaze off the walker in front of him.
"Are you kidding me?!" Shane shouted, "You see what you're holding on to?"
"I see who I'm holding on to!" Hershel screamed, his white face turning red.
"Walk away now!" I ordered, turning around and grabbing the handle of my knife. I'm ready to protect myself at all costs from this man, even if it means mortally wounding him. He didn't push forward. He stayed in place and looked at me, the hatred in his eyes growing with each passing second. I knew then that he would kill me if he and I were alone. That's when I knew his story about Otis was complete and utter bullshit, that this man was dangerous and would kill anyone in his way.
"These things ain't sick! They're not people! They're dead ain't gotta feel nothing for them cause all they do is kill! These things right here! These the things that killed Amy! They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us!" Shane shouted as he backed away from me and started pacing, finally getting the hint that I wasn't playing around anymore.
"Shane shut up," Rick shouted at his friend.
"Hershel, let me ask you something. Could a living, breathing person walk away from this?" Shane asked, shooting the female walker Hershel had in the chest three times. Hershel looked at the walker in disbelief, his eyes widening at the horror Shane was exposing him to.
"STOP IT!" Rick and I shouted, both of us more than fed up with the man.
"That's three rounds in the chest! Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?!" He shouted at the elderly man, "Why is it still coming?!" He raised his gun and fired more rounds into the walker. "That's its heart; it's lungs! Why is it still coming!"
"Shane, enough!" I screamed, darting forward to slap the gun out of his hands. He shoved me away, forcing me onto my hands and knees.
"Yeah, man. You're right. That is enough." He agreed before putting a bullet into the female walker's head, killing it. Hershel released the snare pole, dropping to his knees and staring at the dead woman before him. "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone! Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us! Enough! Rick, It ain't like it was before! Now, if y'all want to live, if y'all want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now." Shane dashed to the barn a few feet before us, picking up the ax perched against the door and swinging at the chains and locks. I slowly got to my feet, a shaky breath escaping me as I exchanged glances with Rick. Terror was in his eyes as he registered what his best friend was doing. I don't know when he's going to realize it... but Shane is too far gone. Screams from the group echoed around me, pleading for Shane to stop and the occasional 'Rick' screams being thrown into the mix.
"Carl, get behind your mother now!" I shouted as the barn doors flew open. I drew my weapon and aimed. The first walker came out; its dirty overalls and rotted mouth snapped toward us. I fired my gun, landing a headshot, and watched as it toppled. Daryl rushed beside me, aiming his rifle and shooting, cursing under his breath as more and more emerged. I fired round after round, not paying attention to the faces and not taking a second look back at the terrified, grief-stricken man behind me. My gun recoiled with each blast, my hands vibrating under the sheer power of it. I glanced at Shane from the corner of my eye. His too-far-gone gaze intensified as he continued popping off round after round.
I shook my head and fell back, allowing the rest of the group to finish what Shane had started. I looked at Beth, Maggie, and Hershel before kneeling beside them and grabbing Hershel's hand. The man didn't see them as diseased people—they were his friends, neighbors, and loved ones. His lower lip quivered as the shooting died down, his icy blue eyes finding my brown ones as fear consumed him.
I let a shaky breath escape my throat as I understood how he felt. He was holding out for a cure, for some sign that things would get better, and it was hitting him like a ton of bricks that things would never be the same again. Maggie squeezed my free hand, tears streaming down her face as she looked at the carnage before her.
A soft growl emitted from the barn, forcing me to turn my head. The familiar khaki pants, blue rainbow shirt, and dirty blonde hair shattered my heart into a million pieces. I had assumed she was gone, but seeing what became of her put it into perspective. Carol screamed as she recognized the walker, running forward with tears streaming down her face as she called out her daughter's name.
Slowly, I stood, my knees wobbling as I passed Daryl and Carol. He was holding her, stopping her from running to her daughter, and putting herself in unnecessary danger. It may have been Sophia once, but it wasn't her anymore. My eyes ran over Sophia's face, taking in one last glance before putting her out of her misery. I raised my gun, my hands shaking and my lip quivering—all the feelings of guilt washing over me again. A hand lowered my gun. Rick's blue eyes looked at me sorrowfully as he nodded, letting me know he would be the one. I lowered, my knees hitting the dirt as tears streamed down my face. We failed, and this was our fault. The shot from Rick's python echoed in my ears as I saw Sophia's little body hit the earth with a thud, her body joining the mountain of walkers around us.