After ten minutes, I manage to lift off the dirty floor and shuffle my feet along to the sink. I cup a handful of cold water and splash it on my face, and when I lift my head to look in the mirror, all I see is a broken mess. Red splotches cover my face, and my eyes are puffy and red.
I'd give anything to have Tanner here with me, as he'd know just what to say and do to help me through this ordeal. I want to call him to come and get me, but I left my phone in my purse next to the table.
I have no idea if Abby is still out there waiting for me, but I kind of wish that she has gone. It would make things a little easier to not see her again, but then I wouldn't have the answers I desperately need.
Sighing, I move to the door and go back out into the café. I clock Abby still sitting in the same place that I left her, looking sadly on at her baby as he continues to play with the toy. I'm slightly envious of his happiness and wish I could be as carefree as he is right now. But as soon as the thought pops in my head, I feel guilty for thinking that way.
"Are you okay?" Abby asks quietly as I retake my seat.
"Not really," I mutter.
She says nothing in response, but continues to look at me with pity in her eyes. It's unnerving.
My throat feels sore from throwing up and crying, so I grab my now-cold coffee and take three large gulps, hoping it'll rid away the pain in my throat as well as giving me an energy boost, as I feel mentally and physically exhausted.
I watch Abby in silence for a few seconds as she keeps her head down and plays with a loose thread on the end of her sleeve. She seems so anxious and sad. I kind of wish that she was just being a bitch so I could hate her, but there's something about her expression that makes me wonder if she's not completely a bad person.
When I'm ready to continue this conversation, I clear my throat and lean forward on the table. "I need to know how it started," I murmur.
Abby nibbles on her lip again as she thinks my request over. There's a long five-second pause before she opens her mouth again. "I guess it first started in the middle of October," she whispers.
"We were assigned as lab partners in science. At first, it was innocent. We would just talk to each other. I knew he was seeing someone, but I didn't know who at the time.
"One day he made a comment; I can't remember what it was now, but I felt like he was flirting with me. Even though I knew it was wrong, I flirted back."
I sigh despondently. "What caused it to go from flirting to actually cheating?"
At that moment, baby Shawn cries. Protectively, Abby immediately turns her attention to him and finds the source of his crying as he's dropped his toy on the ground.
She picks it up and wipes it on her top as a precaution, then gives the toy back to him. He stops crying almost instantly and bangs the toy happily against the high chair.
I hate to admit it, but he is really cute.
When Abby is satisfied that Shawn is okay, she turns back in her chair and answers my question. "We both ended up at a party one night. I think you were at home with a bug or something, and he came over to me when I was by myself, and he told me I looked pretty."
She pauses and wrings her hands together. "One thing led to another, and then we were in an empty room making out."
"And then what? You started sleeping with him from that night onward?" I ask.
She nods her head.
I run my hands in frustration through my hair. "Did anyone know? Someone must have known."
She pulls harder on the thread on her sleeve. "We only slipped up once and had sex in a bedroom at a party while you were downstairs with your friends. Normally Shawn would only touch me when we were in his car or a motel room."
I instantly feel sick again, knowing that they were having sex with me nearby. "What happened?"
Her face falls as she remembers that night. "Someone walked in on us. He looked really pissed when he caught us on the bed together, and he shouted at Shawn to go back down to you.
"He slammed the door behind him and left. I was on edge for the next few weeks, thinking it would all come out, but it didn't."
"Who was the guy?" I ask through gritted teeth.
I'm beyond angry that someone knew that Shawn and I were together and still didn't have the decency to tell me that my boyfriend was fucking her upstairs.
She shrugs and bites her lip again. "I don't know. He looked slightly older than me, and he wasn't from our school. I think Shawn knew who he was, but he wouldn't say."
I roll my eyes. Great, another secret from Shawn.
"Why didn't you end it until it resulted in a pregnancy? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask as the tears begin to fall again.
Abby begins to tear up as well, and she can't bring herself to look at me when she responds. "Because I thought I was in love with him." She leans forward and grabs my hand.
"I swear, Leah. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't find the words. I know it's not an excuse. It's just that with everything that was happening, I became depressed.
"When I found out I was pregnant, I became withdrawn from everyone. Even after I gave birth to Shawn, I had postpartum depression."
She hiccups and wipes her tears with the back of her sleeve again. "It wasn't until four months after he was born that I was able to look at him and actually feel something towards him. I hate myself for not loving my son the way he deserves to be loved by his mom."
Hearing her say that kind of makes me feel sorry for her. I hate what she did to me, but to know that she was struggling mentally to the point where she couldn't love her own baby boy makes me sad.
I gently squeeze the top of her hand that is holding onto my other hand before pulling my arms back. "I'm sorry you went through that with your son. I can't imagine how hard that must have been."
She sniffles and looks up at me with tear-filled eyes. "Th-thank you. I don't deserve your kindness after what I did to you."
I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand and reach for my purse and grocery bag off the ground. "I'm sorry, Abby, but I can't forgive you for what you did," I mumble.
"I understand what you went through, but it's still no excuse for how it started." I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"You're not the only one to blame for this, and if I ever see Shawn again, I'll kill him for what he did to me and you and your son." I rise from the chair and give her a weak smile.
"I honestly wish you and your son well from now on, but at the same time, I hope I never see you again."
She sniffles and nods her head. "I get that. I am sorry for everything, Leah. I just hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
A fresh tear spills from my eye, and I quickly say goodbye and run out of the café. As I predicted earlier, the heavens have opened, and the entire street is flooded with rainwater.
I dash across the road to get to the car, getting completely soaked by the unrelenting rain.
When I get in the driver's seat, an uncontrollable rage overcomes me, and I scream and cry as I punch the steering wheel repeatedly, willing to rid the pain away.
My mind reels from everything I have just learned, and it makes me question the entire time I spent with Shawn.
Were there signs I missed? Did Shawn even care for me? Did he only stray away because I wouldn't have sex with him? Was it partly my fault?
I curl up in a ball on the seat and break down, my sobs being silenced by the beating drum of the rain hitting the car.
I don't know how long I stay there like that, but the next thing I know, it's stopped raining, and the sun looks lower in the sky. There's only one place I want to go too. One person I need to see. I start the Jaguar and pull out onto the road and drive straight to Tanner's house.
What do you think of Abby? Should Leah have been less forgiving of her? Who do you think saw them at the party?
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