'Hey, Kacchan...'
'Hmm?', Katsuki grembled as he held Izuku close to his chest as they laid in bed in the afterglow of sex in their hotel room.
'Do you love me?'
'What kind of fucking question is that!? Of course I do!'
'Haha, sorry! You've just never said it, so I was just wondering ...'
'If I didn't we wouldn't have came out on this date and had sex, would we!?'
'I guess not ... but I just love you so much, I would like to here it just once, you know?'
'You know I'm not good with my fucking words. Besides, why say it when I can just show you~'
'Hehe, Kacchan~'
'Kaccha ... s"
'Ka ... ts"
"Kats!"
Katsuki blinked furiously before looking up at his girlfriend, coming out of his sudden daydream.
"What?", Katsuki replied.
"*sigh* You didn't listen to a thing I said, did you?", Uraraka said.
"Sorry, was caught in a daze ..."
"That's fine! I was just saying how our friends are having a little get together tonight and I want you to, finally, come with me"
"No", Katsuki replied as he continued to eat his lunch.
"Awe, come on bro! It's not manly of you to keep avoiding your girlfriend's friends. Y'all have been dating for four years now and Mina is the only one that's met you", Kirishima stated.
"Yeah! I mean, you're cool and all, but our friends kind of think of you as an ass cause you keep ignoring us", Mina stated.
"Mina!", Uraraka playfully yelled as she slapped her friends hand lightly.
"What!? It's true! We've all been trying to meet you these past few years, they're starting to think that you're some sort of imaginary friend at this point, haha!", Mina chuckled.
The two couples were having a lunch date together before they headed off to their next class. The cafeteria was full, students buying a full meal and others buying a quick snack before heading to class, and their conversations being buried by everyone else's chatter and noise. UA University sure wasn't small, after all.
"Come on Kats, please? I promise this party is going to be really fun! There's not going to be a lot of people, just close friends, good food, light drinking, games, come on! Please~", Uraraka sang.
"Please~!", Mina and Kirishima joined in unison, the three sounding like little children begging for some candy.
"Ugh! What time is the party!?", Katsuki grumbled.
"It's at 7, but we can leave at 9"
"We have an early practice tomorrow. I can't afford to spend my night drinking and staying out late", Katsuki said as he finished off his food.
"Then we'll leave at 8; just one hour! I'll even bring your favorite drinks with me, that way you won't drink anything that's there", Uraraka pleaded.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Fine! But we're taking separate cars. Once it's 8 o' clock I'm leaving, you can stay longer if you want"
"*gasp* Thank you!", Uraraka shrieked as she hugged Katsuki and smoothered his cheek in kisses.
"I'm gonna go workout. I'll meet you later", Katsuki said as he gathered his things and stood from his chair.
"Alrighty! Have a good work out, I love you", Uraraka said gleefully as she placed her hand on Katsuki's arm, leaning forward.
"Me too", Katsuki said as he leaned down and kissed Uraraka before walking away from the table.
The group high fived each other as they were finally able to accomplish their goal.
"Oh my gosh! He's actually going to come to the party!", Uraraka squealed.
"I know! And perfect timing to being an engagement party. The more people, the merrier", Mina added.
"Wait, I thought it was just an anniversary party? They're engaged!?", Kirishima asked.
"No, not yet. It is their anniversary party, but Todoroki-kun wants to propose", Uraraka said.
"What!? That's so manly!"
"I know right! I think the two of them are meant for each other", Mina added.
"Haha, Izuku sure has it good with a guy like Todoroki-kun ..."
•••••••••••••••••
Katsuki let the bar fall on the ground, the plates clanging together and the sound resonating throughout the athlete's personal gym. He was the only one in there, so he had his music blasting and would let his weights fall after he finished his reps.
Life is great.
He reminisced on his senior year as he rested before he started his next set.
The UA recruit seemed really interested in his skills. Being the quarter back of his team wasn't easy. He had to talk well to his teammates when talking about plays, his passes needed to be spot on, his sportsmanship, basically every single step he took needed to be perfect; and thank god it was.
UA was already a difficult school to get in to, let alone the cost of it. It was one of the top ten Universities to attend in the entire world, and he managed to get a full ride scholarship and be the starting captain and quarterback for the team!? Life can't get any better than that ...
... except ...
... it could.
His family hit it big in his sophomore year of high school and their clothing line took off, so they were loaded. He has a girlfriend he's been dating for years and his parents love her, he's playing his favorite sport and it looks like he could even go pro after college ... but ... why does it all feel ... like ... a burden?
(A/N: Cue "I wish" by Somo)
'Tch, that's an easy answer', Katsuki thought to himself.
Izuku Midoriya ... his first love.
Katsuki skipped the song as he started his next set to try and bury his thoughts.
It's been a while since he's thought about his childhood friend. It's been nearly four years since the last time he saw him, and he absolutely regretted how things ended between them.
That phrase he'd never thought he'd hear come from those sweet lips was always on a constant loop in his head, that he couldn't stop replay button no matter how hard he tried.
'I hate you!'
'I hate you!'
'I hate you!'
Who wouldn't hate the one they love after they put them through hell and back!? Katsuki probably would've dropped his own ass a long time ago if he were in Izuku's shoes. But he wasn't in Izuku's shoes, he was in his own; Izuku was so caring, to in love for his own good.
The face he made that afternoon was one he'd never forget, one he wished he never caused. The amount of pain, heartache, and anguish written in every word, every expression, every tear Izuku shed, was absolutely heartbreaking.
He couldn't chase him like he wanted to, couldn't cry for his love like he wanted to, he couldn't even say the words he wished he would have said in that time ... all because he was so scared of being gay.
Why is it so wrong to like someone of the same gender!? Why does society have to hate on something that's truly pure and causes no harm to others!? He's not breaking a law. Nowhere is it written in stone that two people of the same sex can't be with one another. It's not like he chose to be attracted to men, he's just trying to listen to his heart. And his heart was completely obsessed with Izuku ... it still is.
He's gotten better at leaving Izuku as a past memory, with tiny hiccups like at lunch where he just had to overthink he saw Izuku walking into the lunch hall, when in fact it was just another student who did a shitty job dying their hair green; hell, their blonde hair was sticking out from the roots.
He was so pathetic. Years have come and gone, he's doing well, and yet he's still hung up an a guy who he had no contact with, that broke his heart!? Well ... he was the one who did the breaking, but he never got to make amends.
He had to settle for going to Izuku's apartment the next morning before going to morning practice. His messages were left unread all night and morning, and who could blame him; so he waited. He waited as much as he could before he had to go to practice. He knocked on the door, waited for lights to come on, but there was nothing. He had to settle for catching the greenette at school. After morning practice was over, he went to Izuku's classroom and asked around for him; but his classmates said he still hadn't shown up. So he waited till lunch.
The bell rang and he immediately dashed for his boyfriend's classroom, but he still wasn't there. It was odd. Izuku loved school and never skipped classes, not even when he was sick or the time his "friends" had ruined his school uniform and got scolded for wearing gym clothes. He sent message after message, nearly a hundred messages were sent but never seen. The last time he saw any message from him was the day before.
'Come on, answer the phone!', Katsuki said as he excused himself from the lunch table and made his tenth call to Izuku ... but it just went straight to voicemail again.
He checked his classroom one last time before practice, yet he still wasn't there. He checked the abandoned storage room before and after practice, hoping that Izuku went there for some solace or something, but he still couldn't find him. It's not entirely impossible that he just decided not to come to school after the days events, but something about the day just didn't sit right with him. He needed to confront Izuku, and he needed to do it now.
He ditched his friends, giving them some sort of excuse and bolted towards the Midoriya household. He sat in the hallway of the apartment complex and waited, ignoring the sounds his stomach made demanding for food, ignoring the tiredness in his eyes, ignoring the phone calls his mother made to get home, he waited for hours ... but yet again, there was no sign of life in that home. The time he waited there, he wrote a three page note of how sorry he was and wanted to make things right. He slide the papers under the door and retired for the night. Hopefully Izuku would contact him after reading the letter, if not, he would try again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day ...
... and the fucking next day ... his big ol' perfect world, fell apart.
He went by Izuku's classroom again to ask for him. The usual girl who answered him had the worst news he could possibly hear ... Izuku Midoriya would not be attending this school anymore.
He ditched school and raced towards Izuku's home.
'This can't be happening! This isn't real!! DEKU WOULDN'T JUST DISAPPEAR WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING!'
But the truth was right before his eyes. He saw a moving truck outside of Izuku's apartment complex. He knew they weren't moving Izuku's things, he just knew! But when he ran up the stairs to that tiny apartment and saw the movers moving that ugly brown couch he hated ... it hit him like a freight train.
He pushed off the movers as he made his way into the home. Everything had been put into boxes, the once vibrant home now dull and barren. He walked towards Izuku's room and saw a mover walking out of the room with a box. He walked straight into the room and couldn't help the tear that escaped. The hero themed room was barren, save for two boxes on the floor. The closet was emptied, the bathroom was empty, everything was gone! He opened up the boxes that were on the floor labeled 'trash' and was shaking with so much anger. There were the gifts and pictures he had given Izuku. There was even a rare 'All Might' plush, his absolute favorite comic book hero that he bought him for their anniversary, just being thrown away! Why!? Was their time together so bad that he doesn't want to remember him!?
"Hey kid, you gotta go before we call the cops, you're trespassing!"
" ... they?"
"Huh!?"
"I FUCKING SAID WHERE ARE THEY!! THE MIDORIYA'S! WHERE DID THEY GO!?", Katsuki cried out.
"That's none of your business kid! I'm going to give you one last chance to leave before I call the cops"
'This can't be happening!', Katsuki thought as he looked down at the box.
"Come on kid, let's go", the mover said as he went to grab Katsuki's arm but was pushed away.
"Don't fucking touch me!! If you won't tell me where they went, then I'll figure it out on my own!!", Katsuki said as he grabbed the boxes that were "trash" and attempted to leave the apartment.
The movers were quick to take the boxes from him and quickly grabbed his arms to escort him out of the room. No matter how much he flailed in their grasp, they wouldn't budge. Before he was thrown out of the apartment complex, he glanced down at the entrance of the door and saw his letter missing.
"Hey! Where's the letter that was at the door!?", Katsuki asked.
"What letter!?", the mover replied as they finally got Katsuki out the door.
"There was a letter at the door, three pages worth! Where is it!?", Katsuki said as they were making their way down the staircase.
"Look kid, we were only told to move what was boxed. Everything else is trash and we just threw it away", the movers made it down the staircase and tossed Katsuki onto the side walk, as they stood and guarded the stairs.
"Look kid, if it was a letter to your girlfriend or whatever, just call her. You millennials have the technology for it. Now go back to school where you belong, while we're being nice", the mover said.
Katsuki couldn't believe what he was hearing. The letter he poured his heart and soul into, was thrown out like a leaf being swept off the sidewalk. How could they just do that!? How could Izuku do that!? Just throw away all the memories they had together! Does he have no heart!?
Katsuki went straight home, not even notifying his teammates or coach that he was not going to be there. His parents were startled that he was home so early, buying the excuse that he wasn't feeling well with his slightly red eyes and stuffy nose.
He went straight to his room and collapsed on the bed, trying to call Izuku again, but this time was different. It didn't ring. Not even a second into the call ... and the automated voice system came on ... saying the phone number was no longer in service.
Why was Izuku doing this!? Why couldn't he understand the pressure he was under!? Does he really think dating a girl behind his back, bullying him, not giving him as much love as he wanted, that he wanted to do all that shit!? Of course not!
He didn't feel safe being with him. Everyday was a constant battle to be the perfect guy, but he did it because he loved him!
The first couple of weeks when he joined the team, his teammates didn't get along with him. Why? Because he was hanging around Izuku. Once he picked up on the fact that the less he hung out with Izuku, the more they would cooperate on the field with him. And when he saw them picking on Izuku, yeah, he wanted to beat them to a pupil for messing with his boyfriend. But when he joined them in bullying him to test something out. After that, he had them wrapped around his finger, his perfect puppets on the field, doing exactly what he needed them to do. And once his coach told him that a UA recruiter had his eyes on him, he couldn't mess things up now.
Even if he had to play the straight guy façade at school, at least he could be himself with Izuku at home ... at least that's what he thought. He gathered up the courage to come out to his parents, so he could at least confide in someone about his true feelings.
It's his parents after all.
One morning as he was eating breakfast with his parents, they were watching the news. A segment came on about a peaceful, gay pride parade being sabotaged by people who discriminated against them. It was already bold of those people to stand up for themselves in such a small minded community, and to be ridiculed for doing something so harmless, was so hard to watch. Yet that wasn't the thing that scarred him the most. He'd never forget his mothers words that day ...
"Serves them right. It isn't right to like someone of the same gender. Their parents must have dropped them on their heads for thinking that way"
His father never stood up to his mother, but he really wished he did. If he had decided to come out to his parents like he planned, he knew his mother would kick him out, completely cutting the tie they had as mother and son. He didn't want to lose his parents ...
So he played the perfect, heterosexual male, role. He got a girlfriend after his mother had been questioning him and he overheard that a girl liked him. He was doing well with the team and the UA recruit was watching him more often, even speaking to him one on one.
He was so close to securing his future, he just needed a bit more time ...
"Hey kid! Love that you're putting in the extra work, but this time is reserved for the basketball team. Rack up the weights", a coach said, bringing Katsuki out of his thoughts.
"Yes sir!", Katsuki replied as he started cleaning up his station.
Katsuki gathered his things, walked past the basketball team, and left the weight room.
'God, I need to get my head out of my ass. There's no point in thinking about it anymore. We both went our separate ways, like how it's supposed to be', Katsuki thought.
He put his earphones on and walked towards his car to head home and rest before attending the party.
He took out his phone and read a message he had gotten from Uraraka.
U: Hey Kats, I wanted to go buy something for the party before we went. Want to meet up at 5 at ZZ store before going?
"Why the fuck are we going to the mall!? Shouldn't we be going to a convenience store for snacks and shit?", Katsuki said to himself as he replied to the message.
K: Sure. I'll meet you there.
He may not have attended many parties, but he sure knows that snacks is what's needed rather than whatever his girlfriend had in mind.
But it didn't matter. Maybe this party was different ... he needed different. He can't afford anymore of these slip ups. He's kept any thoughts about Izuku at bay and now enjoys his girlfriends company rather than it feeling like a waste of his time. He loves her ... yeah, that's what he'll keep telling himself. He needs to be normal, he has to be normal for his own good. But god, was it exhausting.
Maybe this party would be good for him to finally close that chapter in his life. It's going to be small, some light drinking, food ... yeah, he'll endulge himself just this once.