The following morning I sat on Allison's bed as I watched her pack up some of her things. Grace had made up one of the spare rooms for me after Five had left me alone. I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so wandered through the endless halls until I bumped into Allison.
"Hi." Luther spoke groggily as he came in, looking me up and down before turning his attention to Allison.
"Hey." She replied softly.
"You know, it's funny. I've had the same routine for the last four years. Now that I'm back here I'm not quite sure what to do with myself."
"I know the feeling."
"I'll leave you guys to it." I stood up and made my way over to the door, feeling as if this conversation wasn't meant for me. Allison whispered a small "thank you" and I nodded my head before leaving.
"You must be eager to see Claire." I heard Luther say as he turned the corner. "Who's Claire?" I asked myself as I began to walk downstairs.
"I can't smoke eggs." I heard a familiar voice complain as I turned into the lounge.
"Hey, Klaus." I smiled as I walked over. "You alright?" He looked as if he hadn't had any sleep and was wearing nothing but his underwear, glaring at an empty space on a sofa.
"Uh, yeah." He didn't sound so sure and seemed preoccupied. "You?" He asked as he walked over to a cabinet containing picture frames and trophies.
"Yeah, thanks." I watched as he swung the door open.
"One of these has gotta be gold-plated, right?" He searched through the shelves until someone cleared their throat loudly, grabbing our attention.
"Pogo?"
"My apologies, Master Klaus. I have a query for you." The chimpanzee spoke gently.
"Oh?"
"Items from your father's office have gone missing. In particular, an ornate box with pearl inlay."
"Really?" Klaus spoke unconvincingly, pretending as if he didn't know what Pogo was talking about. I simply raised my eyebrows. "You don't say."
"Any idea where it went?"
"No, no, no. No idea." He sighed. "Sorry." A moments pause. "Drop dead." Klaus spoke looking directly at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Sorry, was talking to Ben." He explained.
"Oh ok- wait," I interrupted myself. "You told your dead brother to drop dead?" I laughed as Klaus jokingly rolled his eyes.
"Would you shut up!" Klaus jeered once again, me not taking any notice of it this time.
"Excuse me?" Pogo looked offended.
"Pogo, I didn't mean you, I just... I-." He stumbled on his words. "You know, there's been a lot of stuff I've been dealing with. Just a lot of memories coming up. All those good times. Well, not so much good times as really awful, terrible, depressing times..." I gently kicked his leg to get him to stop talking as Pogo was beginning to look impatient.
"The contents of that box are... priceless. Were they to find their way back to the office, whoever took it would be absolved of any blame or consequences."
"Oh, well, lucky bastard."
"Indeed." Pogo took one last knowing look before turning and walking towards the kitchen, leaving behind a guilty-looking Klaus.
*
Later that day Five returned, storming up to his room without a word said. I followed after him.
"So... you leave without a goodbye, or saying when you'll be back, and then just show up again and not even a hello?" I asked from the doorway.
"Sorry, I'm busy. A lot to get done in a very short amount of time. Trying to end an apocalypse on my own is harder than I thought."
"Oh yeah, when are you planning on explaining that to everyone?"
"Not yet. Well, I've told Vanya - we were always the closest growing up."
"Ok." I thought not to press the matter. "Can I help at all?"
"Why, you have some smart idea?"
"No, but I'm here if you need, ok?" I looked at him sadly before leaving him to it.
"Five?" I heard someone call out from the entrance. "Are you upstairs?"
"Hey, Vanya." I greeted as I met her on the stairs. "Yeah, he's in his room. Beware, he's in a mood."
"Thanks."
"Oh, by the way, I'm sorry you left without me saying goodbye yesterday. I would have liked to get to know you some more." I attempted to lighten the every-darkening mood.
"I'm sorry, I'd love that too. I do need to talk to Five right now though, it's kinda important."
"Yeah of course, you go." I smiled at her as she left.
It was only a few minutes later when she came out again, sighing.
"He said needed some rest." She explained as I looked at her curiously as to why she was leaving so soon. "This whole... apocalypse thing. I can't get my head around it, he's so sure it was real but-"
"It's a lot to take in. I know how you feel."
"Liv?" Five called out.
I furrowed my brows. "I'd better go see what he needs, talk to you later, ok?"
"Yeah, ok." Vanya faintly smiled as she walked away.
"I actually can't do this, I need your help, can you come with us?" He sounded exasperated.
"So soon? You couldn't push me away fast enough a few minutes ago."
"Yeah, I changed my mind when I decided to ask him for help."
"Hey!" Klaus sounded offended as he stood watching the two of us exchange.
I wanted to be annoyed, why hadn't he asked me for help in the first place? But I let it go, happy I could be of some use now.
"Sure, what's the plan?"
"You're my parents, for the time being. I'll explain the rest on the way." He told, leaving me more confused than before I had asked."You look smart enough for the job." I was wearing a pair of stylish, black jeans and a dark green blouse; I had borrowed some clothes off of Allison. I had tucked the shirt in and paired the outfit with my usual leather boots.
"I thought I told you to put on something professional." He turned to Klaus.
"What? This is my nicest outfit."
Five sighed. "We'll raid the old man's closet." He walked out, Klaus and I following closely behind.
"I like your outfit." I told him.
"Thank you! See, you have taste. Unlike this old guy." He pointed at Five who was looking increasingly annoyed. "I'll change, as long as I get paid."
"When the job is done."
"You're getting paid for this? Where's my cut?" I asked.
"You didn't need to be bribed."
"Fair point."
"Ok, just so we're clear on the finer details, " Klaus interrupted. "We just gotta go into this place and pretend to be your dear old parents, correct?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"That sounds easy enough." I reassured myself more than anyone else.
"What's our cover story?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I mean, were we really young when we had you?"
"Klaus, don't you dare put a mental image of me birthing Five into my head or so help me!"
"Oh, God." Five spoke.
"Were we like, 16? Young and... terribly misguided?"
"Sure."
"And we met at..."
Klaus and I thought for a moment before I snapped my finger. "Got it! The disco."
"Yes! The disco, I like it." Klaus chuckled.
"Remember that, ok?" Five looked at us with despair. I was having way too much fun with this.
"And, oh my God, the sex was amazing."
"Was it now?" I turned to look at Klaus, my eyebrows raised with an ever-growing smile on my face.
"What a disturbing glimpse into those things you two call your brains. And stop flirting!"
"We were not flir-" I began.
"Don't make me put you in time-out!" Klaus yelled, making me burst out laughing as we walked down the stairs.
*
"Like I said to your son earlier, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential. Without the client's consent, I simply can't help you."
Klaus and I were sat in front of Mr Lance Biggs of Meritech Prosthetics while Five stood in an attempt to seem intimidating. I had crossed one knee over the other and was sat up straight - a pose I had seen mum do so many times whenever there was a parent's evening or meeting with a teacher of mine.
"Well," Five started. "we can't get consent if you don't give us a name."
"Well, that's not my problem." What an utter dick, I thought to myself. "Now, there's nothing more I can do so-" He made to leave.
"And what about our consent?"
"Excuse me?"
"Who gave you permission to lay your hands on our son?"
"What?" Both Five and the man I had increasingly grown to loathe over the past few minutes said at the same time.
"You heard us." I suddenly stood up. I was going to do everything I could to get Five to walk away with what he wanted.
"I didn't touch your son." He seemed as confused as I was worried, both Klaus and I improvising on the spot.
"Oh, really? Well, then how did he get that swollen lip, then?" He rose to join me standing.
"He doesn't have a swollen-"
I cut him off by punching Five hard, causing him to grunt. I could tell what Klaus was doing - it was a clever plan. I messed up my clothes a bit, untucking half my shirt as if to look like I'd been in a fight.
Klaus inhaled sharply. "We want it. Name, please. Now." He leant over the table to glare at Biggs.
"You're crazy." He pointed at us.
"You got no idea." Klaus chuckled, looking at me quickly before picking up the snow globe on the table. "Peace on Earth. That's so sweet." He smashed the small decoration onto his head with no hesitation, immediately groaning in pain. "God, that hurt!" His face was now covered in glitter and a stream of blood was dripping down his forehead.
"I'm calling secur-" I snatched the phone off of Biggs. "What are you doing?"
I faked an over-dramatic gasp. "There's been an assault in Mr Biggs office!" I then held the phone out for Klaus to talk.
"We need security, now. Schnell!" He threw the phone down and sighed. "Now, here's what's gonna happen, Grant."
"It's... Lance." The man looked absolutely terrified.
"In about 60 seconds, two security guards are gonna burst through that door."
"And they're gonna see a whole lot of blood." I continued. "They're gonna wonder what the hell happened!"
"And we're gonna tell them that you..."
"...beat the shit out of us." We were now finishing each other's sentences as our elaborate, if not made up on the spot, plan played out. Five simply stood and smiled as his lip slowly dripped with blood.
"You're gonna do great in prison, Grant. Trust me, I've been there. Little piece of chicken like you. Oh my God, you're gonna get passed around like a..." Klaus lost his train of thoughts. "You're just- You're gonna do great. That's all I'm saying."
"Jesus, you're both real sick bastards."
"Thank you." I gave a little curtsey.
Our plan was a success. Mr Biggs scanned through the files while Five and I stood and watched him closely. Klaus, on the other hand, was sat on the long table looking increasingly bored.
"Oh, that's strange."
"What?"
"Uh, the eye. It hasn't been purchased by the client yet."
"What? What do you mean?" Klaus jumped off the desk.
"Well, uh, our logs say that the eye with that serial number... This can't be right. It hasn't even been manufactured yet."
"Seriously?" I got closer as I tried to get a look at the file.
"Where did you get that eye?"
*
"Well, this is not good." Five sighed as we walked out of the building.
"We were pretty good, though, right?" Klaus asked. "Yeah, what about my consent, bitch?" He quoted himself and laughed.
"It doesn't matter."
"What's the big deal with this eye, anyway?" I asked.
"There is someone out there who's going to lose an eye in the next 7 days. They're gonna bring about the end of life on this Earth as we know it."
"Wh- How?" I was ignored as Five started to walk away.
"Can I get that 20 bucks, like, now, or what?"
"Your 20 bucks?" Five spun around.
"Yeah, my 20 bucks."
"The apocalypse is coming, and all you can think about is getting high?"
"Well, I'm also quite hungry."
"Yeah, can we go get something to eat, Five? I don't have any cash and I'm starving."
"You're useless. The both of you."
"Oh, come on Five, that's not fair!" I yelled.
"You need to lighten up, old man!" Klaus joined in as Five sat on the steps outside. "Hey, you know, I've just now realized why you're so uptight. You must be horny as hell! All those years by yourself before you met this one." He gave me a gentle nudge as we walked over to join him. "It's gotta screw with your head, being alone."
"Well... I wasn't alone."
"Oh? Pray tell." Klaus continued as I sat there in silence listening to them.
"Her name was Delores. We were together for over 30 years." My heart ached hearing this. I didn't understand their relationship but I know it meant so much to Five.
"30 years? Oh, wow!" Klaus chuckled. "God, the longest I've been with someone was... I don't know, three weeks. And that's only because I was so tired of looking for a place to sleep." At this point, Five blinked away, however, Klaus didn't notice and continued talking. "He did make the most fantastic Osso Buco, though. It was..." He turned to see Five was no longer there. "Hey, where did he go?"
"God knows." I sighed. "C'mon, let's get something to eat." I stood up.
"But you said you didn't have any money?"
I took out a $20 bill from my pocket and handed it to Klaus. "I stole it from Five when he wasn't looking."
"This is why you're my favourite." Klaus smiled as we walked away.