The Bitch Is Back

23 | "he's the victim"

tw// self harm and mentions of suicide

Luna

My face went pale and I felt as if I were about to throw up. Lena handed me her phone, where the video was playing and I watched as I stumbled into Blair's room, wasted.

I heard footsteps rush quickly into Lena's room and I knew that Brandon and Andrew had joined us. "Is she watching the video?" I heard someone, probably Brandon, ask, but I couldn't peel my eyes away from the video to see.

"Luna don't watch it." Nate urged before he turned to Lena. "Why the fuck would you give her your phone to watch it? What's the matter with you?" He growled and Lena began to get annoyed.

"Don't yell at me, Nate. I thought she'd wanna see it since half the town already has."

"She's already lived through it. She doesn't need to watch it again. I doubt she's forgotten what happened." Nate said, his voice getting louder and louder.

I ignored the two of them and continued watching as Jack pulled my shoes off. My stomach began to churn as Jack began to climb over my unconscious body.

As he started to pull up my dress to remove my underwear, I suddenly dropped Lena's phone and rushed to the bathroom. I immediately dropped to my knees before throwing up into the toilet.

"I told you." I heard Nate hiss before he rushed to my side and held my hair back.

I groaned and pulled my head out from the toilet bowl. "Go away."

Nate's voice became soft, his previous anger towards Lena suddenly gone. "It's only a bit of vomit." I shook my head. "It's gross."

Nate rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

I thought back to the video being released and before I knew it, I was throwing up once again.

I felt Nate's free hand slip under Brandon's shirt, revealing the shorts I wore underneath, and began to start rubbing up and down my back.

Once all the contents of my stomach had been emptied, I pulled my head out of the toilet and sighed. "Thanks Nate." I mumbled and he gave me a sad smile.

"Feel better now?"

"Not even close."

Nate and I stared at each other for a few seconds and I noticed a black bruise start to form around his eye and a small bump on his cheekbone. My hand unknowingly reached over to touch it and he winced.

"Jesus Nate, are you ready to tell me who the hell you fought?"

He took my hand away from his cheek and held it in his hand. "Don't worry about me, Luna. Worry about yourself for once. Come on, let me get you some food."

I shook my head. "No I'm fine."

"Come on, you need to eat someth-"

Brandon, who was stood against the doorframe looking down at us, gave Nate a cold stare. "She said she's fine dude. She obviously doesn't have much of an appetite."

As I flushed the toilet, Nate helped me stand up and I walked back into Lena's room, the two boys following behind me.

Lena looked upset at the fact that I had just thrown up. "Luna I'm sorry I showed you the video."

I dismissed her, not wanting her to feel guilty about something that I chose to watch. I began to quickly shove all my belongings back into my bag. "Don't worry about it, Lena. I was bound to watch it anyways."

She still looked guilty regardless of me telling her not to. "So who do you think released it?"

I paused my packing and sighed.

There was only two people in this entire world that could've released it, seeing as I was the only person who had the video in my possession.

With the two people, one of the them could've released it in spite. And the other could've possibly released it with the idea that they were doing me a favour which somehow terrified me more than the former.

Andrew who was sat on Lena's bed looked uncomfortable. "So when Jack told the whole locker room he fingered you.."

I gave him a tight smile. "He didn't mention I was unconscious? Yeah I bet he didn't."

Andrew looked guilty. "And when you said that he was full of shit.."

"I wasn't lying? Yeah, I know I wasn't. But don't look so surprised, Andrew. Or even you, Brandon. I know neither of you are blind to the ways of Jack or any other football player. It's just the boys having a little fun, right? Well it's not so fun when you're on the receiving end of it. Or did it look like I was having a blast while he pinned my arms down and told me I was asking for it?"

Andrew had regret on his face and remained silent for fear of me getting angrier. Brandon however, didn't seem to get the hint. "Luna you never told me what he did to you."

"How does something like that just come up, Brandon? Like while you're mid fucking me I just blurt out, "Oh yeah, you know Jack Prentice, your friend? Yeah he tried to rape me." Is that how it works? It wasn't your business. It should've been up to me whether people heard my story or not."

For some reason, Brandon decided that this was that this was the perfect time to project his insecurities onto me.

"You certainly had time to tell Nate what happened though." He snarled and I couldn't believe that he was actually being petty about this situation.

"Brandon shut the hell up. This is not the time." Lena snapped.

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't tell Nate. He found out. And trust me, he knows I don't think him any different than you or Andrew."

Brandon began to raise his voice. "It sure looked like you were angry at him while you were staring at him all doe-eyed in the bathroom two minutes ago. Yeah, I know your trick. You stare at men all wide-eyed and they just fall at your feet. Then you kick them to the curve until you're finally ready to put them to use. Who knows, maybe that's what you did with Jack. And maybe, it was your own fault that Jack did what he did. Because you're Luna Adams, the biggest fucking tease in all of Westview."

I put all my anger, hurt and frustration into slapping Brandon right across the face.

The slap was hard. His face whipped to the side from the impact and he stumbled. He stood there with his hand to his cheek, stunned at the contact my hand made with his face.

"Let's get one thing straight, Brandon. You don't get to raise your voice at me. You don't get to be jealous of Nate, who's not even my boyfriend, and you especially don't get to tell me it's my own fault that Jack Prentice sexually assaulted me. I don't know what kind of parasite you have in your brain that's telling you that you have the audacity to talk to me like that but you need to check yourself. Understood?"

He huffed as I continued. "I don't need you whining in my ear about your own insecurities, okay? I strongly advise that you should go fuck other girls immediately because you being this obsessed and needy is seriously unattractive and it's the last thing I need right now."

I quickly shoved Nate's jacket on over my shirt and I grabbed my bag and phone. "I have to get to my Dad's." I said, slipping into my sneakers.

"Your Dad's?" Lena questioned. " I thought you were staying away from there. What are you gonna do about the video?"

"There's something I have to deal with there. Then, I'll figure out what to do about the stupid fucking video."

"Well how are you gonna get there?"

"I'll walk."

Nate scoffed. "Like hell you will."

"I don't want a ride from you, Nate."

Nate already grabbed his keys and was making his way downstairs. "I don't care. Come on."

And so I had no choice but to go with him.

As we drove, my chest began to tense up. It felt as if someone was pressing their weight against me and suddenly, I was back in that dark room pleading for mercy.

I felt hot. Like I couldn't breathe. I tugged at the neck of my shirt and I started to feel my face begin to burn. I rolled down the window but still, I couldn't breathe.

"Everyone's seen it, Luna. Everyone."

I wanted to tell myself that it was going to be okay. That everyone would have seen the video and would finally know that Jack Prentice is a predator and that he shouldn't be able to walk the streets. But I couldn't. Even with video proof, people would only believe what they wanted to. And they would never want to believe that one of their most promising students was a rapist.

I knew that somehow, in someway, they would turn this around and find a way to blame me. This was an imperfect world. And in this imperfect world, victims were silenced instead of encouraged.

Nate looked over at me, worried. "Are you okay?"

"Nate can you hurry up a bit? This car's really stuffy." And he did. We reached my Dad's house in less that 2 minutes.

Once he reached the house, instead of waiting for Sadiq, the gatekeeper, to answer the intercom and open the gates, I couldn't wait any longer and I jumped out of the car.

"Where are you going?" Nate asked, confused.

"It's eleven in the morning, Sadiq won't come to the intercom for another ten minutes at least. You can go now."

"Well how are you going to get in?"

"I'll jump the gate."

Nate looked baffled. "You're going to jump the gate? Are you crazy, it's massive." He was right. The gate was massive. But I had learned the skill of climbing it since the age of 13.

"It's not my first time, Nate. I'll be fine. You can go now. Thanks for the ride." He looked hesitant so I continued. "I'll probably see you later anyways, no doubt by the side of Jack Prentice who will probably be on his way to murder me."

His face hardened. "It's not like that with Jack, you know. We were never friends, I've never even liked the guy. We just hang out in the same circle. That's it."

I stared at Nate for a few seconds, deciding on whether to believe him or not. He looked like he was telling the truth but this was a problem that had to be dealt with another time.

"Whatever Nate." I said before slamming the car door shut.

I jogged over to the large gate and propped my foot onto one of the hooks before lifting myself up onto the gate. I repeated this twice before finally reaching the top and holding onto the spikes that were on top of the gate. Being careful not to stab myself on one of the spikes, I gently lifted my leg over, tightening my grasp on the spike. Once I had both legs over the gate, I made the jump and let go before dropping to the ground.

My ankles ached once I stood up and I noticed that Nate had only started to drive away once he had seen that I had safely made it over the gate.

Shaking off my throbbing ankles, I quickly ran across the property and into the house. The minute I ran in, Mildred, who was one of the housekeepers gave me a weird look, having been startled by me bursting in.

"Luna, is everything okay?" She asked but I didn't get the chance to answer her for I had immediately ran straight up the stairs and into my bedroom.

I ignored how messy my room was and went straight into the closet. I grabbed my step stool and stood up to where the door frame was. I shuffled my fingers over the small space on top of the doorjamb and felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

The hard drive was gone.

I kept the video in a tiny hard drive that was kept on top of my doorjamb. It wasn't something that could've just fallen down, right into someone's lap. It was something that had to be searched for and hard. Which meant that somebody went through my room.

I stepped out of the closet, back into my room and it was then that I took notice of how messy my room actually was. It was way more messy than it had been when we all left to go to the party.

There was only two people that could've done it and one of them was Madison. She was wearing my dress when we found her the night before, which means she went through my stuff after I left the house. She could've been the one to release it out of spite for whatever reason.

"This can't be happening." I whispered as I ran my hand through my hair, freaking out. I grabbed the empty glass that was on my nightstand and threw it at the wall in frustration. I watched as it shattered into tiny broken pieces.

"Fuck." I yelled as I began to pace the room, unsure of what to do.

My phone was buzzing like crazy and it wouldn't take a genius to know what for.

I wanted to throw something else but I heard the door open up behind me.

I quickly spun around to find Madison staring back at me, concerned. "Luna, are you okay?" She asked and my blood began to boil with anger.

"Did you take it?"

"Take what?"

I was getting impatient and my voice began to rise. "Don't bullshit me right now, Madison. Just tell me. Did you take it?"

"Luna I don't know what you're talking about."

"The hard drive, Madison. Did you take the fucking hard drive?"

She looked scared, as if she couldn't even get angry at me for yelling at her for fear of how I would react.

"I didn't take any hard drive, okay? I don't even know what hard drive you're talking about."

I took a few deep breaths. I believed her. She didn't look like she was lying and she didn't sound like it either. It wasn't her. But my God, I wanted it to be.

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath, my voice much calmer. "I believe you. I'm sorry for yelling and for accusing you." I tucked my hair aggressively behind my ears. I was barely hanging on by a thread.

Madison looked at me wearily, unsure of what I was going to do next. "Yeah you better be sorry." She mumbled before looking at me hesitantly.

She gestured to her phone. "Is this- is this what you meant when you said last night that you wanted to help me because no one helped you?"

I nodded slowly.

"Shit Luna. This was fucked up."

"Feel free to tell me I was asking for it, Madison. God knows everyone else is saying the same thing." I choked out a dry laugh, thinking back to what Brandon said.

Madison shook her head. "You said no in the video, Luna. That much was clear. And what Blair did was disgusting."

Blair.

After Madison had told me that it wasn't her, my only other option was Blair. She came to my room when she packed her stuff and left so she must've gone through my room then. Especially since at the party I had said that I had the video.

Knowing Blair, she probably thought that she was doing me a favour by releasing the video. Like she was making up for what she did by also incriminating herself.

"I'd do anything for you, Luna."

I felt as though I was going to be sick by just thinking about it. But I didn't feel anything come up from my stomach. Because in truth, I was empty. Totally and completely empty.

I thought back to the video and realised that she had only released half of it.

More stuff had gone down on that recording but Blair chose to trim the video and only release the part of Jack and I. I wondered why that was.

She had no reason to protect Amelia, Ethan and Lydia, so why hadn't she released it yet?

"So what are you going to do now?" Madison asked softly and I sighed before falling back onto my bed. "There's nothing to be done, Madison. It's out." I chuckled dryly. "The whole town has seen my own assault video before I have. Isn't that funny?"

"Well it's worse for Jack than it is for you." She was trying her hardest to console me and I wanted to tell her that there was no point in trying to make a person who doesn't feel, feel better. "I mean he's the one that actually did the assaulting. You're the victim."

"Nobody sees me as a victim, Madison. In the eyes of society, his ability to throw around around a football makes it impossible for him to do any wrong. I bet they're saying I wanted it. That I was just playing hard to get. Being a tease. God forbid, a girl actually refuses Jack fucking Prentice." I sat up and began to tie my hair back into a low ponytail.

I continued.  "If anything, he's the victim, just a poor football player who got caught up with a slut who just wants attention. She was out to tarnish his career, that's the only reason why she tried to say no. She deceived him. How was he to know that he was climbing into the bed of a girl who's notorious for sleeping around? Poor boy."

I stood up and began to strip off the clothes I was wearing. After removing the shorts I was wearing, I took off Nate's jacket and Brandon's t-shirt, wanting to be rid of anything on my body that had been touched by a male. I looked around the room for a shirt quickly, my boobs having not been prepared for the chill air of my room.

I threw the clothes to a random corner of my room and picked up an old oversized top that was on the ground and slipped it over my body. "Nobody's gonna believe me, Madison. Even with video proof. Better to accept it and move on."

I heard a sniffle and my head snapped up to see Madison's eyes shimmering with tears that hadn't yet fallen.

I sighed as I began to pick up all the clothes that were on my bedroom floor. "Why the hell are you crying, Madison? Get a hold of yourself, for the love of God."

"Nobody deserves this, Luna. Not even you. And after what nearly happened to me last night, I can't even begin to imagine what actually happened to you."

"You don't have to imagine it. It's on video."

"You don't deserve this."

I shrugged as I walked into my closet and dumped the pile of clothes on the floor. I walked back into my room and started collecting all the stray socks and extra clothes that I missed. "This is the Universe's personal way of saying fuck you for being such an asshole to people."

"Why aren't you more upset about this?"

"Because there's nothing I can do about this. What's done is done. It is what it is."

Madison looked to have held back her tears which I was thankful for. "At least Caleb was there to save you. He seems like a good guy."

I stopped. "He may have saved me that night but it wasn't because it was the right thing as he loves to think it was. He saved me because he doesn't like other people hurting me." I shook my head slowly. "That, he likes to do himself. Besides, he tried to gaslight me into thinking I made it up the next day anyways."

"But he-"

I exhaled, exasperated. "Caleb Lockhart isn't a hero, Madison. He's your worst fucking nightmare."

When I awoke, I took in my surroundings and realised that I was in Blair's guest bedroom. The sun was beginning to rise but not so much that it was illuminating the room. The room was still slightly dim, the sky just wasn't dark anymore.

I tried to stretch my muscles but found that my whole body was stiff and in pain. The sharp pain in my head didn't help so much either.

I began to feel an ache between my thighs so I reached my hand down under my dress to touch it, only to find that it was stained with dried up blood. Memories from a few hours ago came back to me in pieces and flashbacks and my chest began to feel heavy.

Reaching into the drawer next to the bed, I found a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I stood up from bed and was shocked to see Caleb asleep on the ground, next to the bed.

I walked towards the balcony and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My dark hair had turned into a wild mane around my head and I had layers upon layers of dried mascara that ran down my face and eyes in horrible streaks.

I looked rough.

I walked funny, almost in a waddle due to the amount of pain that the space between my legs was in. But despite this pain, I managed to walk towards the balcony and stepped outside.

I sat down on the ground and stuck a cigarette in my mouth. I lit it before taking a puff, and releasing the toxins back into the air.

I only smoked when I was sad or stressed. When I began to feel my emotions too deeply. It helped take the edge off. But right now, I could smoke a thousand packets and it still wouldn't be able to numb all the feelings that were coursing through my body. All the pain.

A few minutes passed before I heard someone shuffle and plant themselves down beside me. I didn't have to turn around to know that it was Caleb.

"You're smoking." He stated. His voice was cautious, as if he was unsure of how to talk to me.

I nodded slowly. "I'm smoking."

"I thought you only smoke cigarettes when things are fucked up? Like with your Mom and stuff."

I shrugged, taking another drag of my cigarette. "Let's just say that I'm not feeling too hot right now."

My hand shook as I pulled the cigarette away from my lips. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Caleb."

"Do what, L?"

"Everything. I have nothing anymore. I had my heart, which was broken by Ethan. Through nobody's fault but my own. Serves me right for wanting something that doesn't belong to me." I sniffled.

Goosebumps started to form on my arms from the chill breeze of the morning air. The skimpy dress I still had on from last night did nothing to shield me from it.

"You broke my spirit, Caleb. You've ruined everything good about me. And I hate you for it. I hate how much you hurt me and I hate how I let you. But what I hate worst of all, is that despite this, I love you. I love you so much that it's literally killing me. It's not right. I know it's not. And it hurts. God, It hurts so fucking bad."

I finally turned to look at Caleb. He hadn't sat too far away. His body faced me and he had his knees pulled up close to his chest, his arms wrapped around his knees.

A scoff escaped my lips. "Pathetic, I know."

He looked at me, a blonde hair falling over his eyes. His lip was busted and he had a bruise on his cheekbone and another around his eye. "You love me?" He asked sheepishly.

I did love him. And unfortunately for me, he loved me back. Despite all the many ways he abused and mistreated me, he really did love me. But little did I know that to be loved by Caleb Lockhart was not a thing to be celebrated.

Caleb loving me was quite frankly the worst thing he could ever do to me. The thing is, he didn't know how to love. He was a cancer. He latches onto you and twists every healthy thing in your body into nothing but darkness.

And to have someone like that love you was nothing short of a death sentence.

I ignored his question as I tapped the end of my cigarette several times, watching the butt fall to the ground. "You took my spirit, Ethan took my heart, and now the last thing that I really had control of has been ripped away from me."

I heard Caleb swallow. "And what's that?"

I took a drag of my smoke before answering. "My body." I said with a shaky voice. Images of the previous night flashed in my head. "Jack took my body."

I inhaled sharply. "I just want it all to be over. It'd be so easy too. Some pills, a rope maybe, hell all I'd need is a small razor."

Caleb balled his hands up into fists. "Don't talk like that."

"I don't wanna be here anymore, Caleb. I'm so fucking exhausted."

Caleb shifted closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my neck before pulling me to his chest. I let him hold me for a few seconds and it was comforting. Until he ruined it like he does everything else.

"I fucking hate Jack for what he did." I whispered and Caleb paused, as if bracing himself for what he was about to say.

I felt him swallow. "What did Jack do?" He asked and I froze.

"What do you mean what did Jack do? You know exactly what he did."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Luna."

I pulled back from him abruptly. "What the fuck, Caleb? You know what he did to me. Or at least tried to do to me." He held a confused expression on his face.

"Last night? In Blair's room?" He shook his head, as if not knowing what I was talking about.

"What happened in Blair's room?"

I was beginning to get angry. "I know you know what I'm talking about, Caleb. Don't play fucking stupid. He tried to rape me."

Caleb appeared to be taken aback. "What the hell, Luna? Jack did not try to rape you. Are you crazy? What the hell did you take last night?"

"I didn't take anything. I know what happened. He tried to rape me and then you saved me. You fought him off." I gestured to his knuckles that had been split open from him punching Jack. "Look you even have the bruises all over your fucking body. And you have his blood on your shirt for God's sake."

"I fought Jack because he was hitting on you earlier. I told him not to touch what's mine and we got into a fight about it. I did not fight him off you from him trying to rape you. Jesus."

"No, Caleb. I know what happened and that's not it."

"Look L, you were wasted. You could barely walk straight. I had to haul you into bed last night. I understand that you might've been hallucinating."

I had become so overwhelmed. I couldn't handle this. "Don't bullshit me, okay? Was the vodka laced with LSD or something? I don't fucking think so."

"L, I can a hundred percent tell you that Jack did not try to rape you. He wouldn't be alive right now if he did, okay?"

My memories had started to become jumbled. I couldn't tell what was real to what was fake. What if Caleb was telling the truth? His story added up. What if I was making it up?

"So you fought Jack because of what he did earlier in the night? Not because of the attempted rape?"

Caleb nodded. "Yes. I told you I'd break every bone in his fingers, didn't I?"

"But what about all the blood between my legs?"

He shrugged. "You probably just got your period. You did say before the party started that your stomach was sore. But you probably don't remember that, do you?"

"Maybe you're right." I murmured, confused.

Caleb sat with his back against the wall with his legs propped up and spread apart, close to his chest. His forearms were rested on his knees and he held his right index finger with his opposite hand lazily.

I scooted closer into him and placed my head into the crook of his neck. In return, he rested his head lightly on top of mine.

We sat together in silence for awhile until he let out a soft whisper.

"I love you, Luna."

My heart sank down into my stomach and I sighed softly. "I know you do, Caleb." I whispered. "I know you do."

Neither of us said anything. We were both fully aware of the danger we were causing to not only ourselves but the people who could get caught in the crossfire, from us loving each other. Two self-destructive people in love was nothing short of a disaster.

"Caleb," I said after awhile. "are you telling me the truth about last night?"

A forever had gone by and he still hadn't answered. I had began to think that he hadn't heard me until finally he said. "Yeah. Of course I am."

But I knew.

A woman always knows when something has been in her body that didn't belong there.

Madison looked at me, unsure of what to say as I climbed into bed, under my silk sheets. "What do you want me to do, Luna? Is there anything you want right now?"

I turned over, my back to her. "I want to be left alone. I can't handle all your fucking questions right now, okay? It's giving me a headache."

"But Lun-"

"Fuck off." I snapped and she went quiet. She stood there for a few seconds before I heard her storm away aggressively and slam the door behind her. The items on my desk rattled from the impact.

I ran my hand through my hair frustratedly. "Fuck." I cursed, angry that I had made Madison upset. Especially after we had finally been getting along for the first time in all our lives.

I picked up my phone that hadn't stopped vibrating with notifications since I got into Nate's car a little while ago. I knew what I was going to find by going on social media but deep down I had hoped that I would be mistaken.

I hoped that the world had finally changed. That instead of siding with rapists, they believed the victims.

I hoped that when I opened my Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter, I would find nothing but positive comments and people demanding the justice of me and all the thousands of other girls who had fallen prey to the ways of privileged white men in power.

I hoped that the system had changed and that Jack Prentice was currently on his way to being punished for his crimes against women.

That was not the case.

@tom.smith01
"She's crying rape? Lol of course she is. Can't even give a girl a high five without having to ask for consent nowadays. Pathetic."

@jennamarie.xo
"She totally wanted him. She's just playing hard to get. I mean I've seen the guy a couple times around town. Who would say no to that? If that's rape then sign me up lmao."

@chasedaniels19

"Nowadays no means yes. This dude is clearly innocent. This chick is obviously looking for her 5 seconds of fame and obviously led this guy into a trap. Disgusting. Head high bro."

@avajane_xo
"Are you guys sick or something? He's clearly assaulting her when she clearly said no. Also she was literally asleep when he started so wtf. You guys are some weirdos fr."

@miataylor39
"What this Jack guy did was bad but she does look like the type to be a tease so idk who to believe."

I knew that the world was a cruel place but I had underestimated just how much. These people didn't know my story but most of them swore that if they ever saw me in real life that they'd make me pay for telling such a lie.

Some said that I was the one who planted the camera there to trap him. That this had been my plan all along. Little did they know that it was Amelia's camera and I hadn't even remembered it until 2 days after the party. That was how I got the video.

The camera hadn't originally been put there for the purpose of catching people's crimes and dirty secrets on camera. Amelia started recording that day because she had a gut instinct that the party was going to be "a night to remember." She also said that it was "the best years of our lives.", and that we needed to record the times. The irony is almost sickening.

The real purpose of the camera was to capture moments from our youth. It was Amelia's own fault that she forgot it was there when they all started committing crimes and revealing secrets in that room.

If they weren't so shady then maybe their shady deeds wouldn't have been caught on camera. They have nobody to blame but themselves.

It was stupid how I was getting accused of planting a camera when the only thing I was "guilty" of, was being the smartest one of them all to remember that there was a recording and to use it as evidence.

Which proved what I was telling Madison, which was that even with video proof, people believed what they wanted to believe. And unlucky enough for me, that was never the victim.

I was receiving death threats by the minute. People were telling me all the ways I should kill myself and I was half tempted to reply saying been there, done that.

Everything that they were saying did nothing but strengthen my belief that I hated the human race and if the sun were to swallow us whole today, I would gladly see us all perish and not bat an eyelash.

I soon turned my phone off because the notifications I had coming in were starting to make my phone glitch. My head hurt and I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and to let my mind drift to a fantasy.

A place where I didn't have a junky mother and a damaged father. Somewhere without rapists, evil ex best friends and boys who mentally, physically and emotionally ruin you.

A fantasy where I wasn't Luna Adams.

I closed my eyes and let myself imagine a life where I could just disappear. To go so far that nobody knew my name. To go to a place where I was nobody.

And for a minute, in that state between consciousness and wakefulness, I was at peace. My breathing slowed and my body relaxed into the warmth of my silk sheets. And soon, I was fast asleep.

I've always had a love-hate relationship with sleep. There was something so peaceful about it at times. It was an escape from reality, a chance to be away from people and in your own head.

But that was the catch.

I was stuck in my own head, alone with my thoughts. There were times where my head was the scariest place I could be. It was the one place in the world that had all my lies, secrets, insecurities and every bad thought I've ever had.

And it was also the same space that had all my hopes, dreams and aspirations too. It was neither a blessing nor a curse to be alone in my head.

It was a nice place to be when I wanted to be rid of the world though. That is, until the monsters in my real life start appearing in my dreams. Then there's no where to escape.

I didn't sleep for long, seeing as it was early. I woke up at four o'clock to the sound of voices downstairs. They were male voices and there were a lot of them.

I didn't know what was happening but as far as I was concerned, I didn't care. I would stay in bed and mind my business. I wasn't going to be involved in whatever business my father was doing.

My Dad was a fairly legitimate man when it came to his enterprise.

But you don't become a self-made oil tycoon by the age of 37 without getting your hands a little dirty.

I had always known better when it came to that side of his business. Stay out his way and stay upstairs if he was having meetings downstairs. It was common sense.

They would eat, drink and smoke themselves throughout the evening and somehow manage to talk business at the same time. I didn't understand it but I never tried to because it was simply none of my concern.

But these things went on for hours and not only was I hungry but I was thirsty too. I could've asked Mildred, one of the housekeeper's, to bring me up something to eat and drink. Which was something I almost never did seeing as I had two perfectly working legs.

I considered it for a moment but quickly decided against it. Not only would I have felt bad but she was probably really busy catering to all the men downstairs that I didn't need to add more onto her plate.

I sighed when I realised that I would have to leave the comfort of my bed and walk straight into the lion's den.

I stood up grudgingly and picked up a pair of small, tight-fitting shorts from the ground and shoved them on under the top I was wearing. As far as I was concerned, I wasn't going to be downstairs for long and I wasn't going to be seen if I could help it.

I slipped on some white ankle socks before grabbing my phone and making my way downstairs.

When I finally reached the bottom of the staircase, the stench of liquor and cigars was more prominent than ever. Their noise and chatter filled up the vast silence of the house. Deep throaty laughs were being let out and it was clear to me that they were really letting loose.

I quickly found that their noise had been extra obnoxious because they hadn't even bothered to properly close the door of the den that they had taken over.

As I walked past the slightly ajar den, I couldn't help but peer into the smoke-filled room out of nothing more than simple curiosity.

So I peeked in and my eyes landed on my father who had his head thrown back in laughter. His top button had been undone and his tie was loose. He looked relaxed and I couldn't help but wonder if my Mom had ever made him laugh like that.

Things were fucked up between them long before I came along but I knew that there was a time where things were good between them. I mean there had to have been otherwise I'd have never been born.

I just wondered if my mother ever brought out the shine in his eyes. If she ever made him laugh to the point of stomach cramps. Or if she ever brought out the inner child in him.

I resented my father. I did. But I guess I just wanted to know if there was anyone in the world who could make him laugh. Someone he could call home.

I knew it wasn't me. I never stood a chance at a relationship with him, let alone making him laugh. I certainly knew it wasn't Stacey. So I wondered if it could be Marina.

I mean he talked about her like he hated her. Like she was nothing to him. But the way he looked at her told me otherwise.

She was the same too. According to her, my father was a "slimy bastard" and he could "burn in hell."

They said they hated each other.

But people who "hate each other", aren't supposed to look at each other the way they do.

I let the thoughts about my father subside and I let my eyes continued to scan the room. I thought I was being discreet and that nobody was aware of my presence until an unfamiliar pair of green eyes locked eyes with my brown ones.

My eyes widened and before anything else could happen, I quickly pulled my eyes away and continued for the kitchen before anyone else caught me. My heart had skipped a beat and I hoped that whoever he was would forget that he ever saw me before my father found out I had been eavesdropping and killed me.

That was not the case.

The first thing I did was fill up a glass of water. I took a few sips before I placed it on the island to finish later. I then opened the fridge and as hungry as I was, I couldn't seem to figure out what to eat despite the endless amount of options.

So there I was, scanning the fridge for what to eat when a deep voice spoke from behind me. "So do you always eavesdrop on you father's meetings or.."

I quickly spun around to find a tall Arab man leaning against the kitchen doorframe. His eyes matched the green ones that I had previously made contact with and my stomach lurched in nerves. My previous hunger quenched instantly.

He had dark hair that was pushed back but had a strand falling down to his eyes. He had a faded beard and he wore black slacks with a black button up tucked into it. His top button was open and his sleeves were rolled up to his forearms.

He was also really young. Definitely the youngest of them all. He couldn't have been any older than 19, 20 was even pushing it. There was no other words to describe him other than gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.

My mouth hung open slightly after having been caught off guard by his presence and his question.

"Uh," I quickly regained my speech to answer him. "well if he really didn't want me to listen then he should've closed the door properly."

The man arched an eyebrow. "So you're gonna blame him for you listening in?"

"Precisely."

He gave an amused smile before chuckling lowly. My breath hitched in my chest from nerves and also from the fact that he hadn't broken eye contact with me once.

"So why were you listening in?" He asked and I shrugged. I was starting to warm up and feel more comfortable in talking to him. "Curiosity, I guess."

"You should be careful of what you eavesdrop on. One day you might hear something that you wish you didn't."

"There's power in secrets. Once you know someone's secrets, you immediately hold all the power. You can bend and twist them at your will." I paused. "You can also break them if you must."

His lips curled up into a devious smirk and he looked intrigued. "You're a smart girl. You think like I do. I like it."

Just then, the housekeeper, Mildred, walked into the kitchen. "Sir," She exclaimed. "what are you doing in the kitchen? There's no need for you to be on your feet. I'll bring you whatever it is you need." The man didn't break eye contact with me.

"No. I'm fine here. Thank you."

Mildred gave a confused look. "Are you positive, Sir?" He nodded. "I'm positive."

Mildred turned to me. "Luna honey, I'll cook you up something. Don't you worry." I shook my head. "I'm fine Mildred, thanks."

She sighed. "You always do this. I can make you something really quickly."

"I'll be fine, don't worry." I spoke hurriedly and she paused before looking between the man and I. As if she suddenly realised that she was interrupting something, she glanced back at me before quickly exiting without saying a word.

"Luna," He said, as if testing out my name that he heard from Mildred. "It's a beautiful name."

"Thanks."

He continued the conversation from before. "So Luna, when you were talking about using secrets to control people. Were you talking about finding out your father's secrets?"

I had my mouth opened to speak but quickly closed it and cocked my head slightly to the side. My brows creased in wariness and I took a few steps toward the door of the kitchen.

"Um you know I should probably get back to my room. I mean my Dad would probably kill me if he found out that I was down here. Let alone if he found out that I was talking to you." I said quickly and he took a step forward, hovering over me.

"Hey look, that came out wrong. I promise you that I only meant the question out of mere curiosity."

"I don't know you. So your promises mean nothing." I pointed out and the amused expression found it's way back to his face.

"You're right." He held his hand out to me. "I'm Marco. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Ms Adams." I hesitantly took his hand and he put it to his lips and planted a kiss on it. "I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier and for making you think that I had other intentions."

I nodded. "That's okay." 

He dropped my hand and I took in his appearance once again. "So you're like really young. How does a guy your age end up in business meetings with a bunch of old men who have marital problems and anger issues?"

He laughed at my bluntness. "I wouldn't say they're all old. I mean your Dad's pretty young compared to the rest of them. He's admirable you know. He's accomplished so much at his age. That's how I wanna be."

I raised my eyebrows and nodded sarcastically. "Mhm yeah he's a real role model."  Marco also raised his eyebrows. "Bad relationship?"

"It's complicated." I said and he scoffed. "Believe me, I understand."

"So you never answered my question," I said, changing back topics. "how does a guy your age end up in meetings like these?"

"I run the business with my Father. The old man's about to croak any day now so soon enough it's gonna be all mine. Meetings like these are just part of the job."

My ears perked at the mention of him running his own business. I respected people who ran businesses. Even my Dad.

"So you like tell people what to do and stuff?"

"Pretty much."

Hot.

"Must be tiring having to manage everything."

He smiled before shrugging and by doing so, set fire to the butterflies in my stomach. "Let's just say that working's not without it's struggles. But it's nothing your privileged, rich, white self will ever have to experience." He joked and I scoffed, a smile on my face.

"I have a job if I have you know. I start tomorrow actually."

Marco laughed sarcastically. "Oh yeah? What is it, retail?"

My mouth hung open and another scoff escaped my lips. "What's wrong with retail? I respect people who work retail."

He shook his head. "Retail is the easy way out. You look like you're too smart for retail."

"Well it's a good thing that I'm not working retail, isn't it? I'm working for Elizabeth Williams. I'm her new assistant. I get to work with her first-hand and help her make decisions on fashion, clothes, models. Everything."

He tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth on his feet. "So you're gonna work under a middle-aged fashion designer and take orders? That's not very fulfilling is it?"

"I get first-hand experience. The shit that people pay thousands to learn in college, I get to see for my own eyes and I'm getting paid for it. Soon enough, it's gonna be my name and my business that you're gonna see on every billboard in the country and further. So yeah, I'll gladly take orders from a middle-aged fashion designer as long as it's gonna lead me to my endgame. I'm playing the long game."

Marco raised an eyebrow, looking impressed. "The long game, huh?"

"The long game."

"And may I ask, do you plan to go to college for this fashion business?"

"I'll go to college sure, but I won't study fashion. I'll already know everything I need to know about fashion from the job. No I'll study business. If I'm gonna be an entrepreneur then I should at least major in it."

"Why would you major in it when you have your father to teach you everything you need to know?"

"Because Marco, when I make it, I need to be able to say that I did it without him. That I became someone without him. It'll crush him to know that I'm completely independent. To know that I can do anything he can do, but better."

I let myself imagine a future where I made it and I smiled before re-focusing my attention back on Marco.

"But you wouldn't know anything about being independent would you, Mr Heir to an oil company?"

He let out a big laugh. "Okay. You have a point. And you have ambition. I admire that."

I smiled, satisfied as he continued. "But being the heir to an oil company isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's dark and it's messy and I'm glad that you haven't chosen to follow in your Dad's career path."

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

He stepped closer to me, his green eyes piercing into my brown ones before his eyes fell down to my bare legs before looking back up at me. "It has it's perks, I guess. The travelling, the money, the parties. Coming here and meeting you is also definitely a big one."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm sure you meet a lot of beautiful women on your travels."

Marco took another step towards me as his eyes dug deeper and deeper into mine. "None nearly as enticing as you."

I raised my eyebrows, a smile on my face. "I bet you say that to all the girls, Marco."

His lip curled up into a half smirk. "I like it when you say my name."

I said nothing to this and I stared at him with intrigue, wondering how far he would take this. The tension between us was getting to be overwhelming and I wondered whether I should fall back and retreat back to my room or stay and see what happens.

I didn't get the chance to even consider making a decision because my Father had suddenly strolled into the kitchen in all his tipsy glory. "Marco, we've been wondering where you ran off to. What's gotten you caught up in the kitchen of all places?"

He stopped once he made his way beside Marco and his eyes landed on me. He cocked his head to the side in confusion at the sight of me. "When did you get back?"

At least he hadn't found out about the video yet. I had a feeling that that would no longer be the case by the end of the day.

"Uh- I got back a couple hours ago at like 11-ish."

"Well what are you doing down here? God, you're not annoying Marco, are you?" I had my mouth open to object but he didn't let me get a word in before he had already turned to Marco.

"I'm sorry if she's disturbing you, Marco, I really am. She can be really rude and disrespectful sometimes. I apologise if she's caused you hassle, she knows better than to be down here during meetings anyways." He suddenly faced me once again. "What are you doing down here actually?"

"I got hungry. And I didn't cause him hassle. We were just talking." I snarled.

"Except I know first-hand that you're a bare faced liar so you can't really expect me to believe that you were just talking, can you?"

My mouth opened to start an argument with him but Marco jumped in before I had the chance to actually get disrespectful.

Marco chuckled. "Don't worry, Charles. We actually were just talking." He trained his eyes back on me. "I must say, your daughter is very intelligent. Talking with her has, dare I say, made my day."

My Dad's eyebrows raised in shock and disbelief. "Well, I never thought that those words would ever be used to describe my child but nevertheless, let's get back to the den, Marco. We have much to discuss."

"Will I see you later?" Marco asked. "If you're lucky." I said before my Father rudely pulled him away.

I let out a soft sigh to myself as I watched him disappear back into the den but I smiled once I saw that just as he was about to close the door behind him, he pulled it back just a tiny bit and left it slightly open.

For some reason, the previous hunger I had was suddenly quenched. I didn't know whether it was because of Marco and the intensity of his presence or if it was because of the non-stop lingering reminder in my head about the video being out.

My guess was that it was a bit of both but more so the latter.

So I grabbed my glass of water and my phone from the island and made my way back upstairs. But not before I peered into the den once more to catch a glimpse of Marco.

As if he could sense me, his eyes met mine whilst he was mid-conversation and I saw the corners of his lips struggle to fight the urge to smile at me. Shaking my head, I moved on and went back to my room.

I settled down on my bed, on top of the covers, and contemplated whether or not I should turn my phone back on or not.

I knew that no good would come of it but I turned it on anyways.

I shouldn't have.

The messages were getting more vile and more disgusting as I read on. I did receive a few messages from people defending me and telling me how brave they thought I was for coming out with my story and how I was an inspiration.

Reading those sent a wave of guilt over me because I was the furthest thing from an inspiration. It made me feel ashamed because I wasn't actually brave enough to come out with my story. It was released without my knowledge or consent.

But there were few of those, the majority of the messages I was receiving were death threats and people telling me that I was asking for it.

There were people using my sexual history as justification for what Jack did. Those were the worst ones.

So what, if I had been a pure and clean virgin when Jack assaulted me, then it would be valid? What a load of horseshit. My sexual history had absolutely nothing to do with what happened to me.

Society, specifically men, have this misogynistic idea that all women should be pure and untouched. But not to the point of "teasing". If you're sexually active then you're a slut and you're disgusting. But if you don't then you're a prude and you're boring.

It's a double-edged sword. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I ended up slapping my phone face down on my bed in frustration. I opened one of the drawers of my bedside table and reached into it to find cigarettes. I rustled through it for a little bit before I finally managed to pull out a pack.

I dug through the drawer some more to see if I could find a lighter but I was unsuccessful. "Fuck." I cursed in annoyance. I peeled myself up from my bed and walked across my room into my closet.

Once I stepped into my closet, I dug through every pocket of every jacket I owned in search of a lighter but still, I found nothing. I quickly moved on and began to search in the pockets of all my pants. And it was in the back pocket of an old pair of jeans that I found my Spider-Man lighter.

Caleb got it for me. It was the first nice thing that he ever actually did for me that he didn't benefit from.

It was before any of that Jack stuff and one of the only times where he showed me any indication that he actually paid attention to me.

"I don't wanna go home." I groaned as I lay in Caleb's arms. I placed a hand lightly onto his stomach and nuzzled my head further into the warmth of his chest.

I heard him laugh softly as he trailed his finger up and down the spine of my bare back. He then used his arm to pull me in closer than I already was, as if he would die if separated from me for even a moment.

I liked when he got intimate like this. Which certainly wasn't often. He was doing it while sober too, which made it especially rare.

"I wish we could stay like this forever, L. Just me and you. We could be without our shitty parents. Without your friends and mine. Ethan especially. Just me and you forever. Until the end of time."

This time it was my turn to laugh. "I think we'd kill each other, Caleb."

"Then so be it. What better way to go if not by your hand?" He chuckled at this and I laughed again before taking a minute to imagine a life with Caleb forever.

"What if people aren't meant to be together forever? I mean isn't that why 50 percent of marriages end in divorce?"

"I don't know. I mean I really fucking hate people and the very thought of spending my life with just one person makes me sick to my stomach. But I don't know, if it was with you then maybe it wouldn't be so bad."

My eyebrows raised and I fought hard to conceal my joy. "Really?" I asked, whilst listening to his heart beat.

He shrugged, dismissing the question. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it."

He then went quiet and I wondered if he had fallen asleep but then he spoke up again, this time in a soft whisper.

"I do think I'd like to spend a forever with you though."

"I think I'd like to spend a forever with you, too."

"That scares me to even say out loud." He admitted. "Does it scare you?"

Without missing a beat, I said, "More than anything."

It was definitely post-sex endorphins that were flowing through me to give me the confidence to admit that to him but it was nice to finally have an honest moment with Caleb. One without any lying, cheating or scheming.

"I got you something." He suddenly said before sitting up abruptly and digging through his bedside table.

He then pulled out a lighter and I sat up to take a proper look at it. I held the duvet to my chest with one hand so he placed the lighter in my other hand. It was a blue Spider-Man lighter and my heart lurched.

"Well I noticed that you only smoke when you're stressed. Like when I piss you off, or when Ethan makes you sad or when things are shit with your parents. So when you ever decide to smoke while under stress, you'll think of Spider-Man and you won't feel so shit anymore."

"Caleb.."

He shrugged sheepishly. "I know, I know. It's a bit stupid but I saw it in the Drugstore and I thought of you because I know how you really like Spider-Man and all those other superheroes."

Tears welled in my eyes and Caleb's own eyes widened. "It was dumb, wasn't it? I knew it. Here, just forget about it." He went to take back the lighter to put it back in the drawer but I pulled my hand back and shook my head.

"I don't get many presents, like at all. So I'm not used to getting things like this. And I didn't think that you even remembered that about me. Or even paid attention."

He scratched the back of his head. "Of course I pay attention. And it's not that big of a deal. It's just a stupid lighter." He paused before looking at me. "But do you like it?"

"I love it, Caleb. Really."

I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. When I pulled back, his cheeks were surprisingly blushing red and I chuckled before curling up close to him and taking another look at the lighter.

"I'll keep it forever." I told him. "That way, if you and I don't get our forever then at least I'll have this as a reminder."

"I think I'd like that."

The memory itself sent an ache straight to my heart. My stomach even churned because just the thought of him and I brought an odd mixture of longing and disgust to my body. Despite these feelings, I grabbed the lighter and made my way to my bay window.

I sat down and pulled my legs up close to my chest and I opened my window before taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

I took a drag and blew the smoke back out through the window when I looked down at the lighter and caught myself about to smile at the thought of Spider-Man. I stopped myself quickly once I realised that I proved Caleb's theory to be correct.

To be honest, I didn't really know why I had kept the lighter. Especially after all Caleb had done to me. I guess it really did serve as a reminder of what we could've had. But even back then, deep down I knew that Caleb and I never stood a chance.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't even noticed the presence of my friends in my house until they walked right through my bedroom door.

"Jesus." Olivia groaned. "This house is a fucking maze."

I slowly exhaled the smoke from my lips and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I'm sorry but did we have plans that I forgot about or something?"

"Well we didn't think that you'd wanna be alone right now. But we can go if you want." Marceline explained and I didn't say anything. Instead, I pressed the cigarette to my lips and let myself take a second to decide whether I wanted them to stay or not.

My expression remained neutral and all four of them stood there waiting for my answer.

I didn't mind that they were here, in fact I was grateful. I just would have appreciated a text or a call in advance. There was something about people showing up to my bedroom unannounced that slightly annoyed me.

I hated being caught off guard so when they randomly just popped up to my room, it made me feel vulnerable in some weird way.

"You guys could have texted me before you came."

"We thought that you wouldn't have seen it because of the amount of notifications that you're probably getting." Olivia insisted.

"You could have called." I pointed out.

"We'll go if you want." Lena offered and I shook my head before shrugging it off. "Don't be silly. It's not that big of a deal." I pressed my cigarette against the outside window sill and I watched it extinguish. I left it there and turned back to face the girls.

"Are you sure?" Davina asked and I nodded. "Yeah, it's whatever. You just caught me by surprise, that's all."

Lena looked as though she felt bad for showing up unannounced. "Look we can just go-"

I chuckled. "It's okay. Really."

I plonked back down on my bed and it wasn't long before Lena was laying down right beside me. And not a moment later, the rest three girls all joined us in different positions on my bed.

"So who let you guys up?" I questioned, hoping that it wasn't my Dad. "Your housekeeper." Marceline answered. "She's really sweet."

Olivia, who lay at the end of the bed audibly groaned. "God, I'd kill to have a housekeeper." Davina nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it. I swear I could stay in this house for the rest of my life."

I shrugged. "It's whatever really."

"So did you guys have fun at the party last night? Before the what happened obviously." Lena asked.

"It was okay. I got no action so that sucked." Davina grumbled and Marceline began to smile at that. "Lucky for me, I can't say the same."

I immediately turned my head to look at Lena, remembering when Lena told Nate and I that she had sex with Andrew and Nate told us that he hooked up with Marceline right after.

Lena looked visibly upset so I took her hand in mine and planted a small kiss on it for reassurance. The action brought a small smile to her face and she curled up closer to me.

"Who did you hook up with?" Olivia asked, intrigued. Marceline was grinning from ear to ear. "Andrew."

Davina's eyes nearly popped out from her sockets. "Andrew? As in Andrew Johnson?" Marceline nodded but Davina was still struggling with the thought. "Andrew as in Brandon and Nate's friend? That Andrew?"

Marceline rolled her eyes. "Well what other Andrew do we know?"

"How the hell did that happen?"

Marceline then explained exactly how Andrew lured her in using the exact line he used on Lena. But of course, Marceline didn't know that.

Once Marceline began to start talking about the "chemistry" between her and Andrew, I knew I had to step in to save Lena from the emotional torture. I sat up and coughed while Marceline was mid-sentence. "Does anybody want a pizza? I've been starving for ages now."

"I'm down for a pizza." Lena said. "But I didn't bring any money."

I shrugged. "I got it. Don't worry."

Once I ordered the pizzas, I looked to where my purse lay on the edge of the bay window and groaned at how far it was. "Olivia, will you go get my purse?"

"You're literally so lazy." She grumbled as she stood up nonetheless to go grab my purse from the window. As she picked up my purse, something else seemed to have caught her eye.

She turned back around to face us and held up the Spider-Man lighter. "This is so cute. Where'd you get this?"

I scratched the back of my neck and shrugged. "Someone gave it to me awhile ago." She cocked her head to the side in intrigue and started to walk towards me with both the lighter and my purse in hand. "Who's someone?"

I took my purse from her hands and took the lighter too. I reached over and opened my drawer before quickly dumping the lighter inside and closing it, out of sight. "Caleb." They all fell quiet at his name. "But that was ages ago."

Olivia looked at me hesitantly. "Do you still miss him?"

"Who?"

"Caleb."

I thought of the blonde boy who, after all these years, was still under my skin. But even just thinking about him overwhelmed me. So instead of actually answering, I chuckled awkwardly. "Well this got serious pretty quickly."

"You don't have to answer." Olivia said as she sat back down. "It was a silly question anyways."

"But how are you doing about the video, Luna? Really." Marceline asked, her face solemn. Davina's face turned pale at the mention of the video. "The video. It was sickening. I could barely watch."

She began to shake her head. She looked disgusted. "Jack Prentice.. he's a monster."

"Seriously." Olivia agreed. "And if I feel awful after watching that video, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. And for it to be posted publicly too."

Lena sighed, exasperated. "God, Luna. I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"I don't know how you can get up every morning and walk past him every day as if he didn't do what he did. You get to watch people praise him while you suffer silently with a smile on your face. I swear you have more strength in your pinkie than the rest of us do in all our bodies combined."

I didn't want to tell her that getting up in the morning was by far the hardest part of my day. And that most mornings, I didn't think I'd let myself live long enough to see first period.

I didn't consider myself strong. I was just great at lying and pretending.

Which was something I had learned when I got involved with Ethan Henderson.

"It is what it is." I said vaguely, not wanting to go into detail.

I watched them all exchange wary glances between each other before finally acknowledging the fact that I was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation topic and that I didn't want to talk about it any more than I was already thinking about it.

25 minutes later, the doorbell rang while Marceline was still talking about Andrew. "That's probably the pizza. I'll go get it."

I hadn't even properly stepped out from the crowded bed when Lena jumped up quickly. "I'll go with you." She exclaimed and I shot her a weird look as I made my way to the door.

Once we stepped out from my bedroom door, Lena finally let out a big groan. "If I have to hear about all the ways Andrew uses his tongue, one more time, I'm going to throw myself out of your bedroom window."

I let out a laugh as we reached the stairs. "You know, I didn't even know that you really liked Andrew until last night."

She sighed. "I don't even think I really like him that much so I don't know why I'm so irritated. I think I'm just tired of being played by stupid high school boys. God, I hate men."

"You should go for women instead. I'd be first in line to welcome you to the other team." I winked at her teasingly and her eyes widened. I had only been joking but Lena's face flushed such a harsh shade of red that I couldn't stop myself from laughing at her priceless reaction.

We reached the bottom of the staircase and I opened the front door. The delivery guy handed me the two boxes of pizza after I handed him the money. He quickly took a pen from his pocket and scribbled down something on the twenty I gave him. He placed the twenty on top of the pizza boxes and smiled. "It's on the house." He said before starting to walk away.

"What the hell?" Lena voiced her thoughts, confused. She picked up the twenty from the boxes on my arms and turned it over.

Written in black pen was a ten digit number. I rolled my eyes before handing the boxes to Lena and taking the twenty.

I quickly jogged out to his car which was at the gate, waiting for it to open. I knocked on his window and he rolled it down. I held up the money. "I think you forgot something."

A smirk played on his lips, as if proud of the action. "Keep it. Call me if you ever find yourself bored or alone in this big house of yours."

"It's not my thing."

A scoff escaped his lips and he looked me up and down. "I know your type. A hook-up is always your thing."

"It's not the hook-up that's not my thing. Clichés aren't my thing. And you my friend, are a walking cliché. The desperate pizza delivery guy and the girl who's alone in the big house by herself? It's fucking corny." I tossed the twenty into the window of his car. "So thanks, but no thanks."

Once I got back into the house, I took back the pizzas from Lena's hands. "Must be nice having every guy want you." She chuckled, seemingly amused.

"Yeah I just love having every guy assume that I owe them sex."

"You know what I mean."

I did know what she meant. I just wished she understood what I meant.

Hours had passed and the girls were already long gone as were my father's guests who had left not too long ago.

So as I was laying on my bed, cigarette in hand, contemplating anything and everything, I was ripped from my thoughts when I thought I heard something coming from outside. I had dismissed it as the groundskeeper cleaning up outside but it was something of a completely different sort.

What lurked outside of my house was not nearly as innocent.

My head snapped towards my window after hearing a branch break and soon enough my window slid up before a 6 foot 2 boy stumbled into my room.

I paused mid drag as Nate shook some leaves out of his hair and onto my floor, panting heavily. "You need to cut down that fucking tree."

My lip curved up into a half smile at Nate's messiness. "Duly noted. Thanks." Neither of us said anything. Instead we both stared at each other in a strange silence.

He exhaled. "So-"

"What are you doing here Nate?"

He scratched the back of his neck, unsure of how to answer. "I don't know. I was just driving and I sort of ended up here accidentally."

"You accidentally climbed through my window?"

"Yeah something like that." I raised an eyebrow. "I can leave though. If you want me to."

He turned to go back out through the window but I was quick to stop him. "No. Don't go." Nate's presence was different. He was comforting in his own weird way. He didn't expect anything from me. Not a friendship, not a relationship, not sex. I could be whoever I wanted because we owed each other nothing. I liked that.

Nate removed his jacket and placed it on my bed before taking a seat across the room. "I didn't know you smoked." He pointed out as he placed his phone on the desk in front of him.

I gave a tight smile. "I don't."

I didn't have to explain any further because the look on his face told me that he understood exactly what I meant. I took notice of the lack of judgment in his eyes. This comforted me.

Nate took the time at my desk to start snooping around my desk and found my sketch papers. He picked one up and scanned it with his eyes. "These are actually pretty good." He looked through more. "And these are of clothes you wanna make?"

"That's the plan. But they're only just rough sketches I did when I was bored. They're not that great."

Nate raised an eyebrow. "Don't downplay your work. You're good at art. Own it."

I said nothing as I was unsure of how to take the complement. Nate still hadn't peeled his eyes away from the papers. "My mother would love these. She would love you actually, you're a lot alike in a way. I should introduce you sometime."

I grinned. "Aw you want me to meet your Mother? At least put a ring on it before you introduce me, Nathaniel. Gosh." I rolled my eyes dramatically, my voice dripped with sarcasm.

He scowled. "Shut up. You know that's not what I meant."

I smiled cheekily. I took a drag from my cigarette and blew it out before climbing out from my bed and making my way over to where Nate sat on the chair.

I stood by him and was instantly hit by his scent of peppermint and aftershave. I watched Nate flick through another page and was met with a detailed drawing of a naked woman. His eyes widened. "Oh."

I laughed and more smoke came out from my mouth unintentionally. Nate flicked through more and more pages of women in the nude. "You sure do draw a lot of naked girls."

"You're looking at these drawings from a sexualised point of view. There's nothing more beautiful in the world than the female body. I mean come on, they literally give life to humans. That's fucking powerful if you ask me."

Nate took in everything I was saying as he looked at the drawings. "I mean it's almost funny. The one thing that literally creates life is the one thing that men use and abuse the most. I swear they have some nerve."

Nate's expression on my drawings remained neutral so I assumed that he didn't care about anything I was talking about.

"I don't expect you to understand them, Nathaniel. You're probably only seeing a pair of tits and a vagina." I went to grab them with my free hand but he pulled his arm back so the drawings were out of my reach.

"No." He stopped me. "I think they're perfect."

I nodded sarcastically. "I'm sure you do."

A deep chuckle escaped Nate's lips. "Can you ever take a complement?" I scowled and he had his eyebrows raised, as if waiting for something.

"Thanks." I grumbled as a smile fell over his lips.

Nate took the cigarette from my hand without warning and took a drag. I turned around, leaving him there on the chair and walked back to my bed.

"Brandon didn't mean what he said you know." Nate began and I audibly groaned.

"I don't care if he meant it. He still said it, didn't he?"

Nate shrugged, exhaling smoke from his lips. "That's fair but he was angry. He thought there was something going on between you and I for some reason."

"And what if there was? He's not my boyfriend. If I wanted to date you I damn well have a right to."

"Bu-" Nate was stopped by the sound of knocking on my door. "Luna." I immediately recognised the gruff, emotionless voice as my Father's.

"Just a second!" Nate's eyes widened in panic and he jumped up from his seat. He quickly opened the window to extinguish the cigarette. He frantically moved around my room, unsure of where to go.

"Hide in the closet." I hissed. "Quick!" Nate dashed into my closet and carefully the doors behind him. "Come in." I said to my Dad who was still waiting outside of the door.

He stepped into my room and gave it a look over. It had been awhile since he'd been here and I was curious to know why he had chosen to make this unexpected visit.

His expression was unreadable as he stuck his hands in the pockets of his jet black suit. His blonde hair was slightly dishevelled. He looked tired. Or conflicted. If I had to guess, I would say he was probably both.

  "Just out of curiosity, Luna, what exactly did you and Marco speak about?"

"Marco? Oh yeah. Marco." My heart was racing a mile a minute, causing me to be unable to think properly. I was panicked about Nate still being in the closet and about why my Father was currently standing in my room. Part of me was worried that he saw the video but it seemed that that wasn't the case yet.

I was trying to remember if I had said anything inappropriate to Marco that he could've possibly snitched about to my Father. I knew it was unlikely because Marco didn't really seem like the snitching type but it was certainly a possibility.

But if anything, it was Marco making advances towards me, not so much the other way around.

"So what did you guys talk about?"

"Oh nothing really. It was mostly just small chitchat." My Father nodded, as if not believing me. "Did he say anything to you? Marco, I mean." I asked.

"He didn't say much, no. He did seem quite taken with you though. I don't know why I was surprised by that. You do have a way with words sometimes, I'll give you that."

I didn't say anything because I was too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for him to start an argument or reprimand me something. He was too calm. Way too calm.

"So are you sure you guys only had small chitchat?" I nodded, scared of what he might say next. "Because I'd been trying to get Marco in on a deal for almost 8 months now but after one conversation with you he's suddenly all in."

I let out an awkward laugh. "Well I don't know what to tell you, Dad."

His body angled towards the door, hands still in pockets. "Well whatever it was," He hesitated. "good job."

I couldn't stop the small gasp that left my throat. Or the tears that almost started to well up in my eyes.

I didn't truly understand how much I had wanted validation from my Father until he said that. It was such a little sentence but held so much power. Coming from him especially.

He walked towards the door, about to leave when he double backed and came back in my room. "About your Mom.." And I knew. The only reason he was being decent towards me was because he wanted information on my Mother.

"What about Marina?"

He ran a hand through his blonde hair frustratedly, a sign of his drunkenness. He pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he hated to ask whatever it was that he had to ask me.

"Your Mom," He sighed. "Is she still with uh, what's his name? Paul? Patrick?"

"Pete?"

"Yeah, him." He paused. "So is she?"

I nodded. "Yeah Dad. She is."

"And she's, you know, happy?"

"I don't know. The way I see it, she's miserable. She's always been miserable. At least ever since I came along anyways. But I think that has more to do with her dislike of me more than her relationship with Pete."

"And does she, you know, does she ask about me?"

I squirmed, feeling uncomfortable with all his questions. "No Dad, she doesn't ask about you."

He nodded, as if he had been dreading the answer. "Yeah, I figured." He mumbled and started to walk away before turning around once more. "Luna?"

"Hm?"

"Stop smoking in your goddamn room."

"Fine."

He gestured to the jacket on my bed. "And you can tell whoever he is to get out of your closet now."

My face flushed red as he closed the door behind him finally. Leaving me with my embarrassment.

Nate immediately came bursting out of the closet laughing and I groaned frustratedly. He came over and stood in front of my bed, still laughing. I grabbed his jacket and threw it at him but it did nothing more than fuel his laughter.

"You're such a dumbass. Now my Dad thinks I'm having sex in my room." Nate's laughter died down but a grin still resided on his face. "I'm sorry. Next time I'll be more discreet when hiding in your closet. "

"Yeah you would wanna be sorry."  I grumbled, looking away from Nate because his smile was way too contagious for my liking.

Once the laughter and smiles had subsided, a sudden silence settled upon us and the air in the room became heavy.

Nate stood by the window in an odd manner. Something about his energy shifted but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.

"You're feeling sorry for me, aren't you?"

He shook his head. "No. You don't need pity. I at least know you well enough to know that."

"So what is it?"

Another silence passed.

"Why are you here, Nate?"

"You tried to kill yourself. After Blair's party."

My jaw tensed, having not seen that coming. "Who told you that?" He shook his head. "Doesn't matter who. You still tried to."

"So?"

"So that was after Jack did what he did. And with the video being released.."

I scoffed. "What, you're scared I'm gonna try again?" He was silent. I let out a dry chuckle. "Please Nate, when I try to kill myself again, I promise you that it's not gonna be that predictable."

"When you try to kill yourself?"

"If." I rushed quickly to correct myself. "If I try to kill myself again."

He looked irritated, like he couldn't believe how easy it was for me to say stuff like that. I don't know what he expected though. It wasn't as if I was going to say that I wouldn't kill myself when it was all I thought about most days.

I sat up with my legs pulled to my chest and gave a half smile, trying to make light of the situation. "Why so serious, Nathaniel?"

He strolled over towards my bed and laid down on it on his back. His arm was placed under his head and I looked down at his long frame which took up a lot of space on my bed.

"Suicide isn't a solution."

I exhaled and laid back on my bed next to him as we both stared mindlessly at my ceiling. "Isn't it though? We're all dying anyways. I at least want to go on my own terms."

"Well what if I don't want you to die?"

I yawned, my eyes feeling heavy. "I'm afraid this isn't about you."

I shut my eyes with the idea of letting them rest but sleep seemed to overshadow that. "You'd miss me though, wouldn't you?" I said lightly.

He scoffed jokingly. "Hardly. Why would I?"

"Because you're actually starting to like me now." I murmured sleepily.

I didn't know whether or not my mind was playing tricks on me but I could've sworn that Nate had whispered the words, "probably a little too much", as I drifted to sleep.

***

When I awoke, I couldn't even see the brightness of the sun shining through my curtains because my head lay buried against Nate's chest.

He laid on his back while my head, along with my hand, was planted on his chest. He had an arm draped around my waist protectively, pulling me in further.

Nate's scent in my nose filled me with warmth. He smelled of peppermint and aftershave. I had always assumed that being this close to Nate would be awkward and uncomfortable but I somehow found myself wanting to stay like this for as long as humanly possible.

But I couldn't because now I was awake and it would only be a matter of seconds before Nate was too. I used my hand on his chest to shake him lightly because there was no way that I could even leave the bed with how tight his arm was around my waist.

"Nate." I whispered but he remained still. I began to try pry his fingers from my waist one by one and my eyes widened when I heard a throaty laugh. I snapped my head back to see Nate with his eyes now wide open.

"You're trying to escape from me now? You've hurt my feelings, Princess." I scowled before slapping his now loose hand away from my waist and rolling away from him to stand up.

"Shut up."

"I think I prefer you better when you're asleep. At least then you're mute and not running your big mouth."

I gave him a tight smile as I walked over to my desk and took his jacket from my chair. "You've overstayed your welcome, Nathaniel. So get out."

"Not much of a morning person, huh?" Just as he said that, I threw his jacket at him and he caught it swiftly. "Get out, Nate. I have to get ready for school and you need to leave before my Dad hears you. Or Madison sees you. God knows she'll go crazy if she found out that you stayed the night and she didn't get the chance to seduce you."

Nate's cheeky grin widened. "So I take it she's single then?"

I pointed at the window. "Out. Now."

He put his hands up in defence and stood up from bed. He strolled over to the window. "Alright, alright. This was fun. We should do this again."

"Absolutely not. In fact, last night did not happen. This was the first and the last time we will ever sleep together."

He smirked. "The way you were cuddling me said otherwise, Princess. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you enjoyed sleeping with me." I smiled tightly before tucking a piece of my hair behind my ears. "Well it's a good thing you know better, isn't it?"

"Fine. You can pretend for as long as you deem fit. But sooner or later, you're gonna be begging to have me in your bed and it won't be as innocent."

"Goodbye, Nate."

Nate pulled open the window and swung one leg over. He turned to face me and his grin had been wiped clean off his face. "Are you gonna be okay coming into school today?"

"I'll be fine."

"Really Luna, because I'm not gonna lie, after our conversation last night, leaving you alone kinda scares the shit out of me."

I couldn't handle a conversation this heavy so early in the morning so I didn't know what else to do but laugh. "Don't worry, Nate. I'm not gonna kill myself."

"Or harm yourself?"

"Or harm myself."

He looked sceptical, as if he didn't believe a single word I said. And he was right to, because harming myself was exactly what I did that same day.

"I swear, I'm fine. Now go, get out of here before someone catches you."

"See you later?"

"Yeah, probably." And so I watched as Nate finally climbed out of my window, grab onto a tree for support before jumping down and landing safely on the ground.

After Nate left I immediately took a shower. It had officially been a day since the video had been released and I knew that my Dad and all my family members had already seen the video.

It was a good thing that Blair had fled because I would not have been to blame for what would've happened to her if I saw her face. I didn't care why she did it anymore, or why she cut out half of the video. I didn't care for her reasons. All that mattered was that she did it, and I wanted to kill her for it.

I thought the shower would help calm my feelings but when I got out, my entire being still burned. It burned with anger, embarrassment, hate, shame. It burned so much that I almost wanted to claw at my body until my very skin began to peel.

That was the thing about emotional pain. There wasn't a specific place it hurt so there wasn't anywhere to pinpoint the pain.

I didn't even have time to think about what I would do once I got to school or what I would say to people because I was too focused on getting out of the house quick enough to avoid contact with anyone. Specifically Stacey and my Dad.

I was conflicted when I walked into my closet because the only thing I wanted to wear was an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Anything to cover the body that my whole town has now seen. But I didn't want people to think that I was shying away from what happened. I couldn't decide whether to cover up completely or to dress the way I usually dressed which was always sort of revealing.

I decided to go in between and wear a pair of blue ripped jeans with a light blue off-the-shoulder sweater. I ran a brush through my dark hair and quickly shoved my shoes on before grabbing my bag and phone and leaving my room.

I had just grabbed my keys from the table at the front door when I heard footsteps coming towards me. I didn't even let myself find out who it was because I immediately dashed out of the house and out to my car.

I couldn't even bring myself to listen to music on the way to school like I did every morning because of the vomit that I could feel at the back of my throat. My stomach churned like never before and it felt as if I would throw up at the slightest press on my tummy.

I don't think I've ever felt nerves like the ones I felt on that car journey to school. The video being released still hadn't properly resonated with me. I kept hoping that any moment now my eyes would shoot open and a feeling of relief and comfort would settle in my stomach at all of this being a dream. Except I never woke up. This was my very own waking nightmare.

Walking into school felt as if I was walking in slow motion. The noisy hustle and bustle of the halls stilled and quieted once I stepped foot inside.

My breath hitched in my throat at the sudden quietness but I knew that I could either shy away from the attention and walk right back out or hold my head up high and accept what happened to me with pride.

Not being one to back away from anything, I chose the latter of course. I straightened my posture before I walked down the hallway, ignoring absolutely everybody. The whispers felt like little spiders crawling up my body and seeping into my ears but I refused to let them turn this back onto me and make it seem as if I had actually done anything wrong.

I tried not to pay attention to the things people were saying but some thing's my ears just caught on their own.

"God, she looks so unfazed. What a psychopath."

"I didn't think she'd even show up today. Or for the next month at least."

"Respect to her for even being able to get up in the morning after all the shit people were talking about her online last night."

"Look at her. There's no way she didn't set him up."

I had successfully made it to my locker where Lena and Olivia waited for me. "Hey L, how you holding up?" Lena gave a small smile as I opened my locker. "I'm fine." I nodded.

"If you want to skip at any point during the day just say the word and we'll go." Olivia offered.

"Thanks 'Liv, but I think I'll manage. It's not the first time I've had a scandal and it most definitely won't be the last. I swear every time I hit them with something, someone always hits me back ten times harder."

"Well Luna you did expose Alex Henderson for being a paedophile, Amelia for supposedly having his child and that Amelia and Lydia killed Stella Romano. All of which you have not gotten into especially since I've been dying to know what the fuck happened."

I looked at Olivia as if she was crazy. "Will you shut the hell up?" I hissed. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry, okay? You just haven't explained anything that you said at the party. When you make statements like that, it's sort of necessary for you to give a backstory."

"You weren't even supposed to hear all that, Olivia. You just happened to be there. And I'm not gonna explain anything until the time is right. Then, and only then, will the truth come to light."

"Fine. Whatever."

I sighed. "Do you guys know if, you know, Jack-"

Lena shook her head. "No, he's not at school. Neither is Amelia." I let out a breath of relief. The last thing I needed was to see his face seeing as none of this would've ever happened if he had just understood that no meant no.

"Good. The last time I saw him was when we were all in the living room at the party and I'd like to leave it that way for as long as possible. What about you guys? Have you seen him since?"

"No the last time I saw him was the same time as you."

Olivia nodded. "Same." Lena turned her head and gave Olivia a confused look. "But you told me that you talked to Jack when you forgot your phone and had to go back." My head snapped towards Olivia who had just been caught in a lie.

"I-I mean I passed him. I didn't talk to him though." She quickly rushed to explain. And just like that, I didn't trust her.

But I didn't have the time, nor energy, to question why Olivia would lie about talking to Jack. I had decided that it was an issue that could be dealt with later.

I closed my locker door shut and turned around to see Caleb at his locker across the hall with some of his football friends. Caleb turned around and made dead eye contact with me. I was taken aback by the state of his face.

Caleb's eye, which he could barely open, was purple and swollen, his lip also bruised and busted. His cheekbone had also seemed to double it's normal size.

My head immediately snapped towards Nate's locker. Nate looked back at me and I darted my eyes from Caleb and back to him once again. Nate shut his locker and quickly walked away, ignoring the question I was so obviously asking with my eyes.

But he didn't need to say anything. His silence spoke volumes. A rush of warmth made it's way to my heart and I swear my eyes nearly watered at, if my predictions were correct, what Nate had done for me.

The day had gone by as slow as ever and it wasn't without difficulty. I had been harassed multiple times by several members of the football team. Steven Moore knocked my biology book out of my hands and called me a skank. I then threw said book at him and it hit against the back of his head. He got pissed and looked as if he were about to hurt me before his friends pulled him away.

It was bad but it wasn't intolerable because I stuck up for myself each and every time. But even my teachers couldn't even look me in the eyes. That was probably one of the worst parts.

So finally, the day had ended and I walked out of school and to my car where I would have to drive to my first day of my new job.

Except at my car, waiting for me was Nate.

"Hey." I said softly and he nodded at me. "I just came to see how you were holding up."

"I'm fine, Nate. I told you this before."

"I'm sure you are." Nate wasn't laughing or telling his usual dirty jokes. He actually seemed a bit cold and distant actually and I wondered if anything happened to put him in this mood but he had even seemed to be this way when I saw him at his locker that morning.

We both stood there and said nothing until I took a step closer to him. He looked down at me and gave me a weird look, as if he didn't understand what was going on.

Then, much to both our surprises, I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around Nate's neck. "I know what you did to Caleb, Nate. And I know why you did it." I whispered in his ear. "I didn't need you to do it but thanks."

Nate was so taken aback by the hug that he just let his arms linger my his side in shock. I pulled away and let myself drop back onto my two feet.

I gave him a sort of half-smile. "I'll catch you later, Nate."

He nodded as I turned around and opened my car. "Cool."

He stood there, still in a slight bit of shock and watched as I pulled out of the parking lot and drove away from the school.

If I'm being honest, I was just as shocked as he was. I didn't think I'd ever actually be that affectionate with him. I don't know what came over me but the thing that really surprised me was how normal and comforting it felt. It almost felt, dare I say, right.

But I didn't let myself think it. I didn't let myself think about his good deed for a second longer because Nate was still Nate. A football player. And that's who he'll always be.

Instead of thinking about Nate and the things he had almost made me feel, an even more vomit-inducing thought came to mind. I thought about the job that I was currently on my way to. I thought about how my new boss had already seen the video and she could possibly fire me for it.

I doubt Elizabeth would want the girl who's at the centre of the town's current scandal, working at her company. She'd probably apologise for it being an inconvenience and let me go as nicely as possible.

That's what I expected walking into the building. What I didn't expect was for Elizabeth to greet me with a giant smile on her face.

I had been speaking to the secretary at the front desk when Elizabeth came out with a huge smile on her face, indicating that she was happy to see me.

She wore a black pantsuit with matching black heels. Her brown hair came down in long waves down her back and her electric blue eyes shone brightly at me. The woman was only 42 and still looked as beautiful as ever. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have a small crush on her.

"Luna!" She beamed brightly. "I'm so happy to see you!" I gave her a warm smile and held my hand out for her to shake it but she dismissed the formal greeting and pulled me into a tight hug.

I was taken aback by the sudden affection, not expecting her to be so touchy especially since she was a good bit taller than I was. Elizabeth had been a model when she was young so it was expected that she was 5'11.

"I'm so excited for you to start working here Luna, really. You'll get the hang of everything in no time." I almost wanted to ask her if she was sure about that because I had been expecting her to fire me quickly and quietly. But she didn't.

Instead, I followed along. "I'm excited to work here. I feel like I'll really learn a lot from you, Ms Williams."

Elizabeth let out a great laugh before scoffing. "Ms Williams? Oh Luna honey, call me Liz." A smile was brought to my face at how warm and welcoming she was. "Okay.. Liz."

She nodded, satisfied. "Come, let me show you around."

She took me to the elevator where it took us up onto the main floor. The entire floor was clustered and loud. There were people everywhere doing all sorts of things. One section of the floor were models being fitted for clothes. Another side were people answering the phones. The whole place was chaotic.

Elizabeth saw how taken aback I was by the loudness of the floor and laughed. "It's hectic, I know. But soon you'll fit right in and be one of us."

That last sentence brought a feeling of comfort and excitement into my body. This was the job that would set me on my path of freedom from this town. Once I was finished from this job at the end of the year, I'd have enough money to go to college and forget everyone and everything about this town and I'd never look back. Not for one second.

So I let Elizabeth show me around because I found solace at the thought that this job was the beginning of my future.

After Elizabeth had showed me around, she brought me to my desk which was directly beside her office since I would be with her constantly.

"I really do think you'll do great here, Luna. I have a good feeling about you. And I mean finally, I have someone who can help me with designs and models when I get "designer's block", if that's even a thing. I can just tell that you have an eye for these sorts of things."

I had my mouth opened to reply to her when the presence of two girls across from us interrupted me. The two girls were pointing and sniggering at me and it wouldn't take a genius to know that it was because of the video.

Elizabeth seemed to know it too because her warm blue eyes suddenly turned icy at the sight of their gossiping. The anger in her eyes looked like something I had seen before but I couldn't quite place what it was.

"Tell us the joke." She said, her voice stone cold. The girls paused and their faces paled. "I'm sorry, Ms?" One of them stuttered out.

"Since something seems to be so funny between you two, I wanna know the joke. So go on. Make me laugh."

"I'm sorry Ms but I don't understand." She says, her voice shaking with fear.

"Did I stutter or are you just incompetent?" The whole office fell quiet. They were all probably scared that saying anything would add fuel to the fire that was Elizabeth's wrath. Which was something I could relate to because even I was scared.

The girls said nothing. "I suggest you get back to work before you both find yourselves out of a job." The two girls scrambled to get back to work but Elizabeth had changed her mind already.

"Actually," She began. "pack your stuff and get out. The very sight of you two will make me angry and I don't plan on going home to my family in a bad mood. You're done. Both of you."

"Bu-" One of the girls tried to argue but the glare she received from Elizabeth was enough to shut her up and accept her fate.

The whole office watched the two girls as they packed up their belongings and did the walk of shame out of the building.

Once they were gone, Elizabeth clapped her hands together and smiled, suddenly back to her cheery self. "Alright everyone, back to work!"

She turned back to me. "Come Luna, let's talk in my office."

She opened the door to her office and let me step inside first before she closed the door behind us. "Luna, I just feel that I need to tell you that I have seen the video."

I swallowed with nerves, although I had already seen this coming. I said nothing, letting her continue.

"I've seen it and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you that I believe you. I need to know that you know that there's at least one person by your side."

"You do?"

This was the first of what would be many times since meeting Elizabeth that I wished she was my mother instead of Marina. I knew that my own mother would tell me that I only want attention but Elizabeth took it upon herself to tell me that she believed me.

I'm a firm believer in never wanting what you can't have, especially since Ethan. But right now, I longed more than anything for her to be the mother that I never had.

She took my two hands in hers. "Yes Luna, I do. I know that there is no way in hell that you set that boy up. I know for a fact that he came into that room with the purpose of taking what he wanted from you. Whether you liked it or not. Now that boy was born evil, it's in his blood. Trust me, I am more than familiar with the Prentice's.

"This is a man's world, Luna. Where they take and take and take, but no more. Most people would have fired you after an incident like that but not me. That boy has taken enough from you and I'll be damned if he takes your future too."

Elizabeth made me feel like I could actually overcome this. It's a shame that that feeling didn't last though. "Thank you, Liz."

"Now I'll say one last thing on the matter, and I won't bring it up again unless you want to. Women like us have to deal with boys like Jack our whole lives. But you should find comfort in the fact that they'll always get what's coming to them. They always do. And that girl that walked into the room and left you, she'll get what's coming to her too. They all will."

Elizabeth gave me one last smile before she changed the conversation back to my job.

Ten minutes had passed and Elizabeth and I were still standing in her office. She was asking me my opinions on the models and on which of her recent pieces did I like best. She had pictures laid out on the desk of both the pieces and the models' headshots and she stood beside me as I flicked through them.

I was too focused on the images in front of me to even hear anybody walk in. I didn't realise there was somebody else in the room until I heard a male voice say, "Hey, Mom."

I knew that Elizabeth had at least one son because I met her when she was at a football game for her son. But when I looked up, the last person I ever expected to see was Nate goddamn Langford.

"Nate?"

"Luna?"

We both said in unison and it was clear that he was also shocked to see me looking over images in his mother's office just as I was to hear him stroll into my new boss' office and call her "Mom".

My finger pointed mindlessly over to Elizabeth. "Mom?" Elizabeth look intrigued and amused at the same time. "I take it you two know each other then?"

Nate shared the same amused look that his mother did except his had more of a cheeky undertone to it. "Yeah Mom, something like that."

Elizabeth seemed to sense something between us and gave an awkward laugh. "Luna, I don't remember you being one of the girls I've seen around the house." She paused to think. "Wait, do you happen to have a rose tattoo on the back of your neck?"

My eyes widened and what escaped from my lips was a mix between a scoff and an awkward laugh. "No Liz, that wasn't me. Nate and I, we're not- it's not like that."

Elizabeth looked guilty. "Luna honey, I am so sorry. I just assumed since Nate never has any female friends."

"No it's okay, Liz." I turned to face Nate, my eyebrows raised. "I take it you bring a lot of girls home, Nathaniel?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "God, don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Mom please, be quiet."

"Hey, trust me, I'm not one to judge."

"So you two aren't.." Elizabeth trailed off. We both shook our heads quickly and she sighed in relief. "Good. At least now I won't have to give the whole, "I'm sorry my son broke your heart", talk."

I crossed my arms over my chest, the amusement now on my face. "Oh Liz, I wouldn't even let Nate be in the position to break my heart. Besides, he could try but he'd fail. Miserably."

She winked at me. "Atta girl."

"Let me get this straight," Nate began "so you're gonna be working for my Mom?" I nodded and a sly smirk made it's way to his lips. "So that means that I'll be seeing you around the office?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Somehow I always do."

He let out a small laugh before he turned back to his mother. "You ready for lunch?" Elizabeth grabbed her bag from the floor. "More than ready. Luna, are you okay to clear up here?"

I nodded. "Of course." She reached out and squeezed my hand as a thanks. As she and Nate walked out of her office she asked him a question. "Also Nate, where the hell were you last night? You were gone all night."

Nate looked at me and gave me a knowing smirk. He paused before answering. "I was at Andrew's. I fell asleep there. I should've texted you, I'm sorry."

The smirk he gave me left a smile on my face long after they both left. As I cleared up, I couldn't help but think about how I really couldn't escape Nate goddamn Langford.

***

So finally, the day was over and I finally over and it was time to go home and face the music. I knew my Dad had seen the video and I knew that he would blame me. He would tell me that it was my own fault and that I humiliated him. I wasn't going to deceive myself by thinking he'd take my side. He's never defended me over anything before so why would this be any different.

As I parked my car in the driveway of my Dad's house, Lena began to ring me. "Yes?" I answered as I got out of the car.

"Jack Prentice is in hospital. He's been beaten to a pulp."

I stopped dead in my tracks as I tried to comprehend exactly what Lena had just said. "What?" I asked in disbelief. "He's been admitted to a hospital because someone's practically beaten him to death."

My heart race began to pick up in speed. "Well do they know who did it?"

My first thought was that it was Nate. His new hobby seemed to be beating up anyone who has even slightly done me wrong. But Nate was with his mother so he couldn't possibly have. Although he could've done it before he came to the office but he didn't show any signs of having nearly killed a boy. He had no fresh bruises or cuts and he didn't seemed stressed about anything.

"No. Someone found him lying on the side of the road choking on his own blood." I remained silent, unsure of how to think or feel. "This is great, Luna. This means that there's at least one stranger out there who believes that you deserve justice. You're happy, aren't you?"

I ignored her question. "Thanks for telling me, Lena. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

She quickly said goodbye to me and hung up, leaving me to gather my thoughts.

I know that I should've felt bad for Jack. That's what any decent girl would've felt. They would've felt that violence could never make up for the trauma they already faced. And That's completely understandable except for the fact that I was not a decent girl. And if Jack Prentice would spend the next few weeks writhing in agony, feeling only a fraction of the pain I felt emotionally then I would be completely okay with that.

I wanted him to burn for what he did and if this was the closest I'd get then I'd gladly take it.

Besides, I was more interested in who actually did the beating. My guess was that it was someone I didn't know. A stranger wanting to help the world out by getting rid of the scum. The only person in my life that I could've guessed was Nate and he already had an alibi.

I thought of this right as I walked up the driveway and stepped into the house. Right up until I bumped into Mildred in the hallway of my Dad's house.

She looked at me differently than she usually did. She looked at me with pity in her eyes. This made me sick to my stomach.

"Eh Luna, your father has requested that you see him in his study once you return home." I nodded. "Thanks, Mildred." I took off in the direction of his study, already feeling nauseous when Mildred called my name.

"Luna?" I turned around and gave her my full attention and her mouth opened before it very quickly closed again. "Never mind. You can go on." I wondered if this is how it would be for now; everyone walking on eggshells around me.

I nodded once more, a wave of sadness and exhaustion hitting me before turning back around and heading to my Dad's study.

I was so exhausted physically and mentally that I didn't even bother to knock, I just walked straight in without a second thought.

The last thing I had ever expected to see was my Father standing behind his desk with completely busted knuckles and blood all over his half opened button up shirt. He had a lot of blood on his face and his tie was draped loosely around his neck. There were even specks of blood in his blonde hair.

Without even having to think about it, I knew.

It was him.

I was so taken aback by the sight that I froze in my spot. My Father froze in his place too, as if not expecting to see me. "Goddammit, Luna. What the hell are you doing in here?"

"M-Mildred said you wanted to see me once I got home."

He rolled his eyes and audibly groaned. "I told her to specifically call you in once I said I was ready. I swear I think about firing her everyday."

I walked further into the study and closed the door behind me lightly. I didn't wait for him to say anything and immediately went to take a seat in front of his desk. I couldn't bear to even look at his hands with how busted they were. His knuckles on both hands had all been split open and there was blood literally everywhere.

I watched him pick up the glass of whiskey on his desk and throw it back in his throat to help cope with the pain. I could tell it wasn't his first shot and it most definitely wasn't going to be his last.

I looked down at the desk so as not to look at how nasty his hands were. "You've seen it." I said quietly.

From the corner of my eye, I could see him nod. "I've seen it." His voice wasn't hard and reprimanding as I had thought it would've been. It was the complete opposite actually. It was calm and soft. With not a hint of anger in it.

He poured himself another glass of whiskey and downed it in less than half a second.

I jumped straight to the point. I knew what my Father had done would cause consequences with his work and I wondered why he would ever make that sacrifice for me. "What about Jacks dad?" I asked, my voice low.

Somehow we were both on the same page. "Our working together is now something of the past."

I felt the tears start to form in my eyes but they hadn't properly appeared.

I swallowed. "And Jack?"

"I've made certain that he won't ever get the chance to touch you against your will ever again. I swear it Luna."

There was a silence that fell between us and it was my Father that broke it. "Anything else you wanna ask me?"

I shook my head. "No, nothing more." I stood up from the chair and walked towards the door. I paused before turning back around to face my Dad.

"Why would you do this for me?"

"You're my child and you're an Adams. Anybody who harms you, harms me." Another silence fell upon us until he cleared his throat. "Let me tell you one last thing; if I had had it my way, which I didn't, that boy would've been taken away in a body bag and not a stretcher."

The tears that welled in my eyes created a painful knot in my throat and caused my entire face to burn with heat. I swallowed back the tears and I nodded. I wanted more than anything to burst into tears and run straight into his arms. I wanted him to hold me until the sun set and not let go until it came back up. I wanted him to hold me the way a father should hold his only daughter.

But that's not how it worked with us. It's not how it's ever worked and it's not how it will continue to work. And what he did for me tonight was the greatest thing he's ever done and never in a million years would I think that he'd be capable of protecting me.

I could feel my eyes turn bloodshot with how hard I was forcing back tears. I couldn't bear to stay there any longer or I really would've cried right there and then.

"Goodnight, Dad." I said before I walked right out of his study, closing the door after me to leave him to deal with himself.

All my life I had always thought that my father hated me. And while I was still sure he didn't like me, he had shown me that he didn't hate me. And that was something that I had been waiting for my whole life. It was just sad that it took me getting assaulted for him to show it.

The thoughts of this managed to bring me comfort as I walked through the hallway, walked up the stairs and down towards my room.

It wasn't until I had closed the door behind me that I was back alone, left with my thoughts and emotions. There was no Nate or Lena to help comfort me this time.

And once again, I was trapped under Jack Prentice pleading for help like a butterfly in a cage.

I was in agony. Complete and utter agony. The emotional pain Jack Prentice had caused me was enough to make me wish death on him a thousand times and over. And the fact that he would never truly understand the depths of his actions did nothing other than add fuel to my fire.

I wished death on Blair too. I wished death on her because none of this would've ever happened if she didn't steal the only thing I had control of left. She stole my story when it was the reason that it even happened in the first place.

I hated her. I hated Jack. And I especially hated Caleb for inflicting further damage on me.

So I sat in bed, absorbing all the emotional trauma and pain that I had to endure. Especially from this day alone.

Then, I remembered an old friend. Someone who was there for me during all the times of heartbreak and sadness. Someone who I knew wasn't good for me but helped to pinpoint the pain to one particular place. Someone who would always be there when things got bad.

So I reached into my bedside table and dug around it for a little bit before pulling out my little razor blade.

It wasn't until I was on my third line that I realised that nothing had changed and I still felt as bad as I did before I started. Except just with blood on my t-shirt and bedsheets.

And so I sighed because just like everyone and everything else in my life; my old friend had disappointed me.

How typical.

***
Thank you for reading x

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and l am so so sorry for the horrendous long wait. I went through a bit of a slump :(

If you struggle with any of the issues brought up in this chapter please talk to someone you trust or even me if you feel comfortable. My messages are open always!

What do you think about Luna's dad and what he did for her?
What are your thoughts on Caleb and the flashbacks Luna had of him?
What do you think Jack is going to do to Luna when he gets out of hospital?
Any further predictions?

I absolutely adore every single one of you that has stuck around this long and put up with my shitty updating schedule. I appreciate every read, every comment and every vote.

You guys are amazing!

Again, thank you for reading, make sure you vote and comment!

See you soon xo

Toni Mahfud as Marco <3