december 1944
"so there's nothing new, then?" riddle said between clenched teeth, not bothering to hide his anger.
"actually," lestrange said with a proud lilt to his voice. "i found something that may be of interest."
nott rolled his eyes in annoyance at his friends' theatrics. "out with it."
"i've made an interesting connection. alessandria goldenberg, remember? the woman she mailed the letter to?" they nodded, urging him to go on. "well, i found out who she is. she works for the american wizarding government. says she works for department of magical law enforcement, but her official position is classified."
so many parts of this assignment were clearly hastily thrown together. for one, they hadn't bothered to change her name, nor give her a new appearance. they also had sporadic meeting times, meaning they expected consistent information, but gave her no outlet to communicate it. usually she got a secure line for when she had to transport information, like a scrying mirror, but this time, they had given her nothing. they expected the ignorance of the students would cover for it. for a mission this sloppy, it should've been less than a week; something for her to slip in and out quickly an quietly. instead, she was here for an indefinite amount of time, with an identity that would crumble under the slightest bit of investigation. lazy.
"so," malfoy snorted. "the two people we know she has contact with outside of school both work secret government jobs?"
"well didn't her parents work for macusa?"
nott picked at the buttons on his shirt, avoiding looking up to speak. "but was that a lie?"
"well," lestrange said apprehensively. "i actually thought of that. i had two copies of the personnel manual, one from 1941 and another from 1943. in 1941, there's a patricia edwards, auror, and owen edwards, department of magical law enforcement, but they aren't listed in 1943."
"when did her parents die?" rosier asked.
nott answered. "she never said specifically."
"but even still, they weren't in the obituary section either. they just disappeared without a trace." lestrange finished; sufficiently adding more unknowns onto the pile they already had.
there was an prolonged silence where a few of the puzzle pieces slipped into place, but several more spots opened up. it seemed like every time they learned anything about her, there were more questions left to be answered. one step forward, two steps back.
riddle sighed. "well soon, i'll have almost all the wards down on her room. i think next week we'll need to create a diversion so i can take down the final one, and then we can look for answers in there." it took him much more time and effort to break the enchantments on her room than he would like to have admitted.
and just like that, the energy in the room shifted. he paused at all their apprehensive reactions. he narrowed his eyes and they all averted their gazes. "something the matter?"
rosier cleared his throat. "and if she catches you, then what? she'll never be near us again."
"then i suggest you make sure she doesn't find out." riddle warned.
"and what if she does? what if that's the last straw?"
riddle narrowed his eyes and turned them to a sneer. "there are other women, rosier."
rosier was offended by the insinuation, but bit his tongue, knowing anything he'd say would instantly add fuel to the fire. instead, malfoy, being as argumentative as he is, jumps in.
"don't act like-"
"like what, malfoy?" he hissed the last word as a warning.
he quickly adjusted his tone, sensing his friends' short temper. "like you don't care. she's your challenge, remember? you care about what happens to her, because if you sever all the connections to her, you won't be able to solve your little mystery."
"she's insignificant and unextraordinary." he lied both to himself and his friends. it was a weak lie too; why would he be so hellbent on figuring her out if she was insignificant? "if this fails, then i'll find another way." i always do.
"do you often snog unextraordinary people?" the moment it slipped out of lestrange's lips, he wish he hadn't said it. the murderous glint in riddle's eyes was enough to dispel any sense of confidence lestrange had in his argument. riddle took note that none of the others seemed to be surprised about the confession; he was sure they'd try to bring it up again another time.
riddle didn't deny it. the terrified look on lestrange's face must have been enough for riddle, because he chose not to even acknowledge the statement. "tell me, how do you think she'd react if i told her that you're all stalking her? or that we're all snooping through her private life? of how you actively know i'm breaking through her wards, but haven't said anything about it?"
"no need for the threats, riddle. you insinuating that we'd betray you is fucking insulting." rosier snarled. good. never betray me.
"it wasn't a threat. it was a reminder that none of you are any more innocent than i, and if you want to talk about morality then remind yourself that there is just as much blood on your hands as there is mine."
which hands were dirtier? the hand that did the crime, the hand that poured gasoline over the evidence, or the hand that lit the match?
•••
on facet of the boys' friendship is that no matter what was being argued over, they'd always easily bounce back. if they weren't arguing in the moment, there would be entirely civil conversation. this lack of hostility and well practiced manners made for an abhorrently boring breakfast the next morning, the only dull bit of excitement being the upcoming quidditch match today. that was, until headmaster dippet stood to make an announcement.
"students! two quick announcements, please." he said, using a voice projecting spell. the hall quieted at once and he beamed as he continued. "as you all know the christmas holidays are quickly approaching-"
they were. and sicaria still had no plan to get into the malfoy party. perhaps they'd invite her if she wallowed in her loneliness enough.
"-so our staff would like to remind you to start making the appropriate arrangements, depending on whether or not you choose to stay."
she stabbed at her plate with her fork; half listening, half thinking. if all these elite, purebloods and acolytes were to be in attendance, then surely there would be security measures-
"next, as you have undoubtedly motived, events in the world have been quite unpleasant recently-"
she snorted to herself. that's an understatement. both the wizarding world and muggle worlds were in shambles, leaving messes all over the globe, with no end in sight.
"-and i know that the effects of such chaos have taken a toll on morale. we hate to see our students carrying around the frustrations that unavoidably come with the oppressive hand of war-"
hm.
"-so to distract from this despair for an evening, and in the spirit of christmas and companionship, hogwarts will be hosting a yuletide ball!"
oh god. her head snapped up quickly, a look of horror on her face, amongst her friends who only looked mildly irritated. a chorus of squeals of excitement and groans of disinterest echoed throughout the hall. lestrange gave an amused snort.
"unfortunately, this is only open to students 4th year and up, but there will be events the afternoon prior, only open to third years and younger."
already, there were stolen glances in her direction. a dance could be fun, but not if she had to endure two weeks of attempted courtship prior. she looked back at her plate, determined not to make eye contact with anyone.
"it is to be held on the evening before your departure. the night of december 22. more details will be given as the date approaches."
she can feel the stares, and shuts her eyes for a second, hoping this is all some big dream. apparently, many of the boys trying to court her had shared ideas.
"that is all for now. eat up!"
she sighed languidly as all the attention left dippet, and her friends turned back toward their table.
"oh brilliant. another bloody event to look forward to," rosier said sarcastically.
riddle shook his head at his friend. "you know you don't have to go."
"of course i do," he responded. "i have a reputation to uphold."
malfoy seemed to sense her quietness and grinned maliciously. "oh don't look so down, edwards!"
"i'm sure your endless line of suitors will ensure you are accompanied," riddle said, taking pleasure in her humiliation. his grin only widened at her glare. he didn't need legilimency to see the mortification stirring beneath them. "i dare say, it's a large catalogue to choose from, no?"
he did not want her to go with any of them.
they were a bunch of groveling, pathetic, self-embarrassing morons. idiots, all of them, pining after a girl who was clearly unresponsive and unreciprocating. they were dumber than her, and wouldn't be able to keep up with her banter the way he did. would they be able to set her alight with just a touch, the way he did? no, he didn't think so. riddle was unapologetically happy to see the speed and ferocity at which she rejected them all in the previous weeks. the level of blasé disinterest she showed was unintentionally cruel, and he reveled in it.
no, none of those fools deserve even a moment of her company.
"oh look, here comes one now," nott said, and her head snapped up immediately, a look of desperate exasperation present.
the dread was palpable. it wasn't as though he liked hurting their feelings (she kept telling herself), only that because she constantly had to, she was desensitized to the feeling. she couldn't help but feel a small amount of pride when they stormed off more angry than sad, because that meant that their ego was hurt more than any true emotions.
they laughed. all five of them. why are they laughing? she realized, and then she was both angry and embarrassed. there was no one coming (for now, thank god) but the pointed stares and glances from across the hall that she pretended not to notice ensured that it would happen soon enough. lestrange was just messing with her.
"fuck you." she hissed.
he intentionally touched her hand as he reached for his glass on the table. she disguised her shiver by picking up her fork and shoving the food around her plate.
"don't be prissy," malfoy goaded. "just say yes to the first one who asks, then the rest will back off."
she snorted derisively. no they wouldn't.
nott vocalized this. "don't give her false hope. they seem to have made her a competition."
"not in on the little game, are you?" she hoped her tone was more scathing than resigned.
"why would we be? we're already winning." riddle asserted.
she scowled because it was true.
"macnair looks almost ready to burst a blood vessel." rosier quipped.
she sighed, and ran her finger across her ring. "i'll have to become a recluse, won't i? simply never be seen outside of class until it's over."
all signs of amusement dropped from riddle so suddenly that it felt like the air around them was vacuumed out. no, no, no. he hadn't finished the wards yet; he needed to find a way to keep her away from there as often as he could get away with.
"brilliant idea," lestrange said. "you plan to starve to death over embarrassment?"
"wouldn't most women just sit back and enjoy the attention?"
"have you met many women, abraxas?" she hissed. she was going to continue to chastise him, but at that moment, she saw three boys stand from their tables. a hufflepuff girl had just said yes to a boy who just asked her, and this seemed to start the tip of the dominoes. they all glared each other down as they all made a path, unmistakably in her direction. "oh god." she whispered.
malfoy laughed even harder, tears almost springing from his eyes. he spilled a bit of pumpkin juice over the front of his quidditch robes. she stood abruptly, and grabbed her bag, walking as fast as she could out of the hall, without it looking like a full on sprint. she ignored the voices calling her back to the hall.
sicaria didn't make it very far though, because only a few moments after she exited the hall, a hand reached out and grabbed her bicep. she turned around at the contact and her irritation became full fledged anger at the boy who was holding her.
"take your hand off me or i'll break your arm." she said, before snatching her arm away.
"forgive me," the boy said, clasping his hands together. "allow me to introduce myself, properly. i'm alexei leonov."
this is the same boy who had instigated the fight in the bar when she was last in hogsmeade. she noted that he was also wearing quidditch robes, bright scarlet with the number 23 on them.
"lovely," she scathed, not bothering to hide the disdain in her voice. "now, if you'll excuse me."
but he took a step closer. "please don't. i wanted to speak with you."
"i don't particularly care what you have to say."
he smiled at her, as if it was a joke. "i insist. it'll only take a moment."
she sighed and he took another step toward her. she didn't move back, only crossing her arms over her chest. her wand was in her hand and fought the urge to use legilimency on him.
he took her silence as a reason to continue. "i wanted to apologize for my behavior in hogsmeade this weekend. i was intoxicated and ignorant, but i took no part in those vile comments the others made about you. i'm a gentleman, and i'd never say such things in the presence of a lady as beautiful as yourself."
liar.
she fought back a sneer. "fantastic. is that all?"
he kept inching closer and closer and she finally needed to step back. "i also wondered if you'd let me make it up to you."
she blinked, and he reached toward her again. she took a large step back, uncrossing her arms to let her wand hand by her side. "no need. also, you're invading my space."
either he didn't get the hint, or he thought the proximity would somehow help his cause. "no, no i insist. i wondered if you'd like to accompany me to the yuletide ball."
he flashed a smile at her, his teeth bared in a way that felt more daring than charming, like he got off on her saying 'no'.
"how kind of you, but i decline." she spun her wand in her fingers at her side as he continued to close in on her. sicaria wasn't stupid. maybe he thought she was pretty and that he wouldn't mind going to the ball with her, but that was not why he asked. she hadn't forgotten the fact that his friends had tried to place a bet with her as the prize, and on the day of the aforementioned quidditch match, he'd asked her out again. this was more of a power play than anything. he thought, for some reason, that he'd be able to persuade her and make fools out of rosier, lestrange, and malfoy if she willingly agreed to go with him.
it was smart, but transparent.
his bright smile was not displaced. "is there a reason why? most women would have jumped at the chance to have an offer this early." her eyebrow twitched upward slightly at the subtle manipulation. not only was he telling her that he had other options, but he was also trying to threaten her with the unthinkable embarrassment of going to a dance alone.
"i don't owe you a reason, do i? is 'no' not a sufficient answer?"
he tilted his head thoughtfully and then shook it his dark hair shifting over his eyes. "not when that isn't the answer i want to hear."
calm down. he's goading you. her expression was one of disgust at the sick insinuation, and his eyes lit up with glee. her wand barely moved up an inch, a curse on the tip of her tongue, before adonis rounded the corner.
"ah, edwards! there you are." rosier said, as if he hadn't known where she was. "i need to speak to you."
"not now, snake. we're in the middle of a conversation." leonov said.
"and if i heard correctly, she told you to fuck off. i think your conversation is done." rosier sneered.
leonov seemed to think for a moment before scowling and glancing at his watch. he ignored rosier, and instead turned back to sicaria. "we'll finish our talk later, miss edwards."
"we won't. pleasure meeting you leonov, now run along." she said shooing him with her hand. he only smiled wider and bowed as he turned and left.
she rolled her eyes and turned back to rosier who was eyeing her with an expression she could not decipher.
"are you alright?"
she gave a small smile. "no worse than usual. you needed to speak to me?"
"is there anyone you plan on going to the dance with?"
"i haven't given it a thought, but i doubt a name will come to mind."
he nodded and hesitated before speaking. "then i have a proposition for you."
her smile dropped. "oh don't look like that. we're friends, edwards. that's all."
"okay then what's the proposition."
"would you like to go to the ball with me?" he smirked at her, immediate reaction.
"oh for christ's sake," she started
"let me elaborate," he said, crossing his hands behind his back. sicaria noticed that was one of his habits. "we're friends, we're seen together often. people are going to ask you up until the day of the dance unless you have a date."
"we've already established that they're still going to ask."
"yes but once you have a 'legitimate' excuse, they'll back down. in theory."
she mulled it over in her head, trying to think of every possible implication of this scenario.
"what's in it for you?" she asked, tone accusatory.
he looked jokingly offended. "is the accompaniment of a beautiful witch not payment in itself?"
she scowled at him. "don't flirt with me. a real answer, will you?"
sigh. "if you just disappear for two weeks, when will we ever see you? also, it makes it look like you're hiding and i'm certain you don't want that."
"i'll find out the real reason eventually."
there's no doubt in my mind that you will. "is that a yes then?"
"a reluctant one."
he smiled at her, and then pulled her into a short hug, a gesture that he'd never done before. he released her, but kept his arm over her shoulder, in a manner that she had many times seen him do to malfoy. "plus, all the witches who hate you will be fawning over me afterward. a revenge type thing, yeah?"
she scowled as she walked with him back in the direction of the common room even though he needed to be out on the quidditch pitch soon. "you're an absolute whore, do you know that?"
a laugh and a grin fell gracefully over his face. "i wear that title proudly. will you be attending the match today?"
"i have nothing better to do."
•••
turns out that watching quidditch and not playing was unbelievably boring. the students of the school were excited about the matches because of the emotions that ran deep when rooting for their house, but since sicaria felt to connection to slytherin, she just wanted to see rosier, lestrange, and malfoy do well.
she sat in the same spot she did at the first match she attended, one in the farthest back row of the stands, where no one could see her unless they were specifically looking for her.
it was boring, only for a while though, because not long after the match started, riddle made his way into the stands, saying small 'hello's to the people he passed and declining offers to sit with others. the moment he neared her row, his gentlemanly expression dropped and became the one sicaria was most used to; passive irritation.
she did not acknowledge nor meet his eye when he sat down next to her. their shoulders almost touched.
for a moment, she stared at the game, watching rosier dodge a bludger that seemed to be aimed illegally high. she humored herself with the idea that riddle would not speak to her, but she knew that was too good to be true.
"do you still require my assistance with your potion?"
she inhaled the cold winter air as she evaluated his question. was he goading her? or asking a genuine question.
"unfortunately." the crowed cheered as lestrange saved a goal that leonov had sent his way.
he hummed and exhaled shortly, something vaguely resembling a laugh. he edged closer to her.
"where's thomas?" she asked, hoping to break the silent tension between them. the sound of the announcer talking to the crowd was dull in her ears and the rowdy spectators went entirely unnoticed.
"library, i assume." he said, staring out at the quidditch pitch, but not particularly watching the game. "he's a student aide for madam glinda."
her anger at their last meeting was boiling over, accompanied by the general anger she always seemed to have when he was around. how dare he disturb her solitude, when she was so completely content by herself? how dare he come here, just to ask and answer one question, and then force an awkward silence upon her? how dare he make her body betray her mind?
fuck this.
her rage only mounted and mounted in the silence until she suddenly stood, preparing to leave the match and just go do something in the castle. anything to get away from the cloud of anger riddle seemed to carry around with him. however, before she could even take a step, he clasped his cold, yet searing, fingers around her wrist.
"don't."
"why?" she asked, making no move to pry his fingers off of her wrist.
his lack of control. whether or not he was getting information out of it, he loved seeing her succumb to his touch. maybe he just loved touching her. either way, it was intoxicating.
he stood up, and at the same moment, the crowd cheered as one of the slytherin chasers scored. neither of them knew who; neither of them were paying attention to the match anymore.
this was dangerous. he was starting to chase that feeling, with no true reasoning behind it. the worst part was that he didn't search for an answer, he chose to just let himself indulge in the sensation. he was not usually one to do things without purpose.
the fact that he didn't care only made him more furious with himself.
his other hand went up and held the side of her neck while his thumb brushed her cheek. she blinked several times, staring directly into the dark eyes that seemed to be conflicting with hers. he was trying to communicate with his eyes, but for once, she couldn't read him.
he leaned in slightly and she pulled back, not far enough that his hand moved from its position. she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. calm down. "are you doing this to try to get into my head again?"
he does not laugh. "i'll spare you this time." fool me once...
think rationally. "are you lying?"
"i haven't decided yet." his eyes darted across her face lingering over her lips before returning to her eyes. he stared at her as if he was begging her to push him away. "may i?" please say no, say no. deny me, say no.
bad things happen whe-
but she gave a short nod before she could even finish the thought and he closed the distance. no one was looking; for, all eyes were on the slytherins who had just caught the snitch.
this kiss was entirely different from the first. his lips burned against her, the way that his fingers always did when he brushed against her skin. the first kiss had been for a goal, but this one was unapologetically passionate. where the first one was planted on her with no time to react; this time he gave her plenty of time to think and build anticipation.
she was drowning or flying or dying. something was happening. she was spiraling out, losing control of her mind as she kissed him back, letting him dominate and guide her. she was freezing and burning at the same time. everything was out of order, out of control. out of her control.
he bit her bottom lip and she opened her mouth. the way his tongue explored her; it was not experimental, but it was the farthest thing from practiced. she had never seen him talk about, or even show interest in another woman, but he could not possibly be this good with no experience.
her mind reeled with questions and answers. what is he doing? what am i doing? why am i kissing him?
because you want to.
then why is he kissing me?
because he wants to.
her mind went blissfully blank.
he leaned further into the kiss, shifting his hand so that his fingers were pulling the back of her neck into him, and his thumb was rubbing along her cheek and earlobe. her head was tilted up onto his mouth, and her hand dragged through his hair.
it was overwhelmingly intimate, but not even slightly romantic.
she was okay with that. she understood it.
he pulled away slowly, and they opened their eyes. he exhaled, and she could see the breath float through the cold air. he removed his hand from her face and used her wrist to guide her back down so she was sitting. the moment they returned to their original position in the stands, he stopped touching her completely, even putting more distance between them.
it was okay. she understood it.
"i've always thought quidditch was a moronic sport." he spoke with his usual tone, as though absolutely nothing had happened. "i've never particularly enjoyed watching them all these years."
she gaped at him for a second before clearing her throat. actually, she understood nothing. just say something. anything. "do you believe everything that you don't enjoy is beneath you?"
"not intrinsically, but generally yes."
she didn't know what to say about it, or how he was acting as thought nothing had happened. she looked down at the quidditch pitch, following his line of eyesight, and saw rosier and malfoy looking directly at them. the way they smirked let her know that they had definitely seen. malfoy was tapping lestrange on the shoulder, while he obliviously continued to talk to the third chaser on the slytherin team. embarrassment crept up her neck, but riddle seemed to be unphased.
riddle had never seemed like a person fueled by compulsion and urge, but in that moment he had acted on impulse. she could tell. actually she couldn't. there was absolutely nothing she could infer about him from their kiss. calling it a kiss felt like an understatement almost; what they did felt so much more intimate than a kiss.
he told himself that it was one time, to get it out of his system.
but he had gotten a taste, and now all he wanted was more.