redamancy (n.)
a love returned in full; when you love someone who loves you an equal amount
* * *
VALENTINE'S Day was usually a day I hated, but this year, I was looking forward to it. My mom made fun of the dopey smile on my face all day, but I didn't care. I finally had a reason to be happy on Valentine's Day and the boy I was in love with was taking me out on a date—my first date.
At seven on the dot, I saw Eli's Jeep pull into my driveway. I rushed out of my room, prepared to sneak out the backdoor.
My plan was foiled as the doorbell rang. Stupid, fucking, Elliot.
I froze in my spot at the top of the stairs, mentally cursing Eli out for not waiting in the car. He even promised to text me when he got here. That way, I could sneak out unnoticed and avoid being harassed. So much for that...
There wouldn't be the need to sneak out if my mom didn't have Uncle Ricky and Aunt Kelli over. Since it was her first Valentine's Day post-divorce, they decided to come over and keep her company. I thought it was ironic, but a sweet gesture nonetheless. Aunt Kelli and Uncle Ricky didn't know that my mom spent Valentine's Day alone every year.
Well, not totally alone; we would curl up on the couch and eat ice cream, but that didn't count as a Valentine's Day date. In fact, I couldn't even remember a year when my parents went out on the holiday. February fourteenth was just a regular old day when we lived in Chicago.
"Must be the pizza," Uncle Ricky mused. I cringed and braced myself as his feet marched toward the door. "Eli? What are you doing here?"
"Eli's here?" Aunt Kelli whisper-yelled to my mom.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I listened to them squeal and run to the door.
"Mr. Hanson. Hey," Eli's voice echoed through the house. "I'm here for Charlotte. Is she upstairs?"
"C-Charlotte?"
"Um, yeah. You know, your niece?"
"Eli, honey, come on in!" my mom exclaimed as she made her way to the door.
"We didn't know you were taking Charlotte out. What are you guys doing? Hanging out or..." Aunt Kelli asked, doing a bad job trying to disguise her prying. "Michelle, did you know she was going out tonight?"
"No, but I suspected she had something going on."
"It's a last-minute thing, so she probably didn't get the chance to tell you," he lied. I almost blew my cover and ran downstairs to give him a big kiss for the quick save. "Is she upstairs? I can go wait for her."
"Come wait in the kitchen," my mom said in her no-room-for-arguing tone.
After counting to twenty, I slowly made my way downstairs and entered the kitchen. I pretended to be surprised as I found Eli at our kitchen table, looking like a deer in headlights as he faced a brutal interrogation.
"Where are you going with my daughter?"
"What are your intentions with my niece?"
"I gotta ask, are you dating Char now?"
"Are you two being safe? Do you need any protection?"
His panicked grey eyes flew to me as I walked in. "Help me," he mouthed.
"Charlotte, your boyfriend is here!" my mom sang, finally noticing my presence. "Why didn't you tell us?"
Gee, I wonder. Maybe because I saw this coming from a mile away?
"We're not together," Eli piped up. "It's just a date."
His correction fell on deaf ears, despite my vehement nod of confirmation. What a surprise.
"You should have told us you two got together!" she continued. "Maura's going to be upset when she learns that she was the last to find out. Let's at least take some pictures for her. Char, go get your camera. Hurry up."
"There's nothing to 'find out.' We're just two people going out on a day that happens to be Valentine's Day," I said firmly. "It's a date, and we're not dating."
"Wha—"
"This was a lot of fun, really, but Eli and I should get going."
Eli eagerly sprung up from his seat and clung to my hand. I dragged him the hell out of there before they could give us the talk. Now that would be the definition of a good time.
"Have fun!" Uncle Ricky exclaimed, following us to the door. "But not too much fun! Don't do anything we wouldn't do, but don't forget to live a little."
"Remember to use protection! Do you—" Aunt Kelli said as I slammed the door in their nosy faces.
"I'm sorry," I groaned, slumping against the door as a hot flush crept onto my cheeks. "How embarrassing. I didn't mean for that to happen. I'd like to apologize on their behalf for whatever else they said."
"No, it's my fault," he chuckled as we made our way to his car. "Now I see why you wanted to sneak out. I should've texted."
I sighed, "Yep."
"Well, happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart. I lo- I'm glad you're, uh, going out with me." He opened the passenger seat door for me and bowed.
I blushed as I slid into the car. "Happy Valentine's Day. I'm glad we're going out, too."
"Me too," he said, staring at me, eyes swirling with emotion. He shook himself out of his trance and hopped in the driver's seat.
"What are we doing? You never told me," I remarked, clicking my seatbelt.
"We're getting food."
"Food sounds good. What kind of food?"
"Food," he responded, turning up the radio and backing down my driveway.
"Very funny," I deadpanned. "Now, where are we going?"
"Patience is a virtue."
"Not when I'm hungry," I quipped. "Where. Are. We. Going?"
"You'll see."
"Mo's? La Casa del Sabor? Johnson's? Evviva La Ciccia?"
Smirking, he hummed along to the music.
"You're annoying," I groaned, glaring at him and slouching in my seat.
"I know," he grinned and switched the music station to an awful mumble rap song.
"Your music taste is awful, too. I can't believe you like this trash."
"Is today insult Eli day? First your mom, aunt, and uncle, and now you? The Hansons are on a roll today."
"That's whatcha get for surprising me. You know better."
"No, you know better. You know that I'm not telling you until we get there, so stop asking. Plus, I love surprising you 'cause you're all cute when you're angry."
"Shut up."
"I thought you wanted me to tell you where we're going? That involves talking—the opposite of shutting up."
"By all means, continue."
"Okay, so I love making you angry 'cause that little half-smirk slash glare shows up on your face. It's like you secretly find me amusing, but don't want to admit it. But, yeah, I know I'm funny, so you can tell me... Anyway, it's just so cute when you get mad. Except for when you hit me, like you're probably thinking of right now.
"N—"
"Don't deny it, sweetheart. I know you better than that. Plus, you're a shit liar... Where was I? Oh right, just remember that I'm driving, and it wouldn't be smart to hit your driver. Your right hook is awful. Same with your slaps. I have no desire to be beaten up tonight."
"Are you done?"
"Yep," he said as we turned the corner into La Casa del Sabor's parking lot.
"Mexican?"
"Of course. I'm making good on my promise."
"What promise?"
"Oh, right, you don't remember," he teased as we got out of the car. "You were craving tacos after your surgery."
"I love tacos."
"I know. You told me that you—"
"Hate Taco Bell, too?" I finished.
"Yep," he grinned, holding the door open for me.
I sighed. "Of course I did. I'm starting to wonder what I didn't tell you."
Due to Eli's reservations, we got to skip the hour-long wait and were promptly seated at a table. When the waiter came around, Eli ordered us nachos and a platter of tacos to share.
"How was your day?" he asked, dipping a chip into the queso.
"Pretty average," I said. "Did some homework and hung out with my mom. She, uh, saw something my father posted on Facebook and it kinda upset her." Apparently, she re-downloaded Facebook behind my back, even though I told her to quit the app altogether. The first post that showed up in her timeline today was a childish post my father made about freedom from a terrible marriage. He also posted a tasteless mini-essay about how much he loved his fiancée. I wanted to fly back to Chicago to kill him for it, but I would have missed my date.
"That sucks. Is she okay now?"
"Yeah, she's fine. She feels bad for ruining Uncle Ricky and Aunt Kelli's night, but she's fine." I dipped a chip into the salsa. "How was your day? Did your parents harass you about our date?"
"They don't know I'm gone," he admitted. "Jacob and I were supposed to stay home and babysit Mads, but I paid them off to keep quiet."
"And you trust them? Especially Mads?"
He shrugged, taking a sip of his soda. "Sort of. I'm prepared to face the consequences if they snitch—Mads probably will. But if you bribe her with Oreos, she sings like a canary."
"Sounds like someone else I know."
"Hey, don't blame me, blame the amazing Oreos," he raised his hands in mock surrender. "Anyways, I doubt my mom will be mad when she finds out I took you out. Sometimes I think she likes you more than me."
"And your dad? He seems to hate me," I snorted.
"He doesn't hate you," he replied hastily. "He's just... weary of you. And also worried that you'll distract me from football. Which you totally aren't, by the way. He'll come around soon enough."
I hoped so. It'd be very difficult to be part of Eli's life if his parents hated me.
* * *
After a long dinner and talking for hours, Eli brought me to Old Haven Beach so we could stargaze. It was cold and breezy outside, but I didn't care; the euphoria I was feeling from our amazing dinner was enough to keep me warm and keep my spirits high.
"It's beautiful tonight," I breathed.
The supermoon and cloudless sky added to our absolutely perfect night. Each and every star in the night sky was visible, and they were twinkling like diamonds. The ginormous moon illuminated everything in sight, acting as a silvery spotlight on the sea.
"Not as beautiful as you."
"Oh, stop. That's not true."
"Yes."
"N—"
"Charlotte, just take the compliment."
My cheeks grew hot. "Thank you, Elliot."
"You're welcome. Now come sit." He patted the spot on the blanket next to him. "Date one was a success, if I do say so myself."
"Date one? Who said we're going on another date?" I asked jokingly, sitting down to face the moonlit water.
"Me," was his simple reply.
"Really?" I hummed, getting flashbacks of that October night at Delaney's house—the first time I had a real conversation with Eli.
"Yes. I'm taking you on as many dates as there are stars in the sky," he replied after a minute or so.
"Don't you kinda have to ask first?" I teased. "I mean, this was only my first date, but I'm pretty sure that's how it works."
"I'm not asking."
"Hmm. Interesting tactic. What exactly is your endgame?"
"You," he said without hesitation, body shifting as his grey eyes searched mine. He bit his lip and swallowed thickly, seemingly debating something. "Can we talk about something for a minute? I, uh, have something I have to get off my chest."
"Sure. What's up?" I rearranged my legs criss-cross applesauce style so I could face him.
"I just wanna preface this by letting you know that I'm being completely serious; it's not a joke or anything. I promise that nobody put me up to this."
I nodded, encouraging him to continue.
He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sick of beating around the bush and pretending there isn't something going on between us." He paused for a few seconds, letting it sink in. "Char, I am so fucking in love with you, and I think—scratch that, I know—that you feel the same. Can we just... stop with the bullshit? I want you, need you, to be my girlfriend," his tone turned pleading. "Do you love me too? Yes or no? And I'm not taking 'I don't know' as an answer. You either love me or you don't."
I sat there, frozen in shock, happy tears slowly leaking out of my eyes. I didn't think this night could get any more perfect, and there he goes, skyrocketing my happiness to the moon and telling me the words I had been dying to hear since Christmas.
Visibly deflating, he took my silence as a rejection and continued, "Hey, there's no need to feel bad about this. It's been eating at me for a while, and I had to get it out into the universe. If you want to, we can just pretend this didn't happen." He reached over and grabbed ahold of my hand. "I can take you home and I'll try my hardest to deal with my feelings. We can still be friends. I promise—pinky promise—it doesn't matter that you don't feel the same way. I'll take whatever I can—"
A gut-wrenching sob escaped my mouth.
"Shit, now you're crying," Eli muttered, voice cracking as he buried his face in his hands. "Please don't cry. I really don't want to be the reason you're crying."
Maybe my vision was too blurry, but I thought I saw him wipe tears away, too.
"Happy tears," I croaked, finally finding my voice. "Happy. I'm happy. So fucking happy."
"What?"
"You're wrong, I do love you," I sobbed. "I love everything about you."
His frown literally flipped upside down. "You do?"
I nodded emphatically. "I do."
Confusion took over his face. "Then why are you crying?"
"I don't know," I wept, another sob involuntarily escaping my mouth. "I just- I just love you so much and I didn't—" hiccup "—think you felt the same way."
"Char, I mean this in the nicest way, but you're so stupid. How could I not love you? You're so beautiful, and kind, and sarcastic, and so goddamn stubborn. It's impossible to not love you. Everything revolves around you. You're my whole world."
"And you're my moon," I shakily laughed, wiping the snot from my nose. He was my light in the darkness, my constant in life, my reminder that good things are out there. "Fuck, I am so sorry to ruin the moment. You were being so cute and sweet, and I just had to fuck it up and start crying."
"No, don't feel bad," he cooed, rubbing my back.
"You're just so... perfect," I sniffled. "You confess your love, and I start ugly crying in response."
"Beautifully crying," he corrected. "You always look beautiful. Even without makeup and when you're wearing those old ketchups-stained sweatpants you think are ugly. You could wear a paper bag and I'd still be so fucking attracted to you."
A ghost of a smile took over my face.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked softly. "You look so beautiful in the moonlight."
Instead of responding, I connected our lips.
His lips parted in surprise. Once the initial shock wore off, he took control of the kiss. His tongue gently swept the seam of my lips, asking for entry.
I instinctively parted them, allowing his tongue in.
I felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to his firm body. Under the silvery glow of the moon, his tongue expertly caressed my own as my hands searched his chest and tangled in his mussed hair.
There weren't any sparks or fireworks (like they say in the movies), but there was a tangible and intimate connection between us. I could truly feel the love and warmth we shared as our tongues danced. The kiss was much more than the physical act of pressing our lips together—so much more.
Breathing heavily, we pulled apart, and I rested my head on his shoulder. He kept one arm around me, and the other toyed with the ends of my hair.
"I gotta ask, are you my girlfriend now?" he breathed.
"Of course, dummy," I said. "No more being afraid, and no more running."
"Eh, that's not enough for me." He extended his pinky finger. "Can you give me a pinky promise?"
"I pinky promise."
As we twisted our fingers together, he pulled me in for another searing kiss.
"Best. Valentine's Day. Ever," he exhaled, tugging me to sit facing him in his lap. "I was right, wasn't I? Nothing could top this."
"Mhmm."
He pressed his lips to my forehead and left slobbery kisses on every inch of my face. And when I say every inch, I mean every inch. Not even my eyelids and eyebrows were spared.
"I just had a thought," I said, running my fingers through his silky hair.
"You don't say," he murmured, kissing the corner of my mouth.
I pulled away to keep him from getting distracted. "Our anniversary can't be on Valentine's Day. We need our own day, so I'm breaking up with you for," I checked the time, "fifteen minutes. Ask me out later."
"You're being serious?" he whined, seeking out my lips.
"Deadly." I turned around in his lap, refusing his kisses.
"I finally fall in love, and the girl in question breaks my heart minutes after I ask her out," he said in mock hurt. "I don't know if I'll ever find love again."
"Glad you got rid of her cause she sounds like a shitty person," I chuckled. "Just think, thirteen more minutes until you can get a new one."
"Hmm, I wonder how I can pass the time," he breathed into my neck before abruptly flipping me over like a pancake.
Before I could cheekily respond, he started leaving a trail of kisses down to my collarbone.
* * *
A/N: Thanks for reading chapter 36! We finally got to what y'all have been waiting for! Don't forget to vote and comment. I'm so proud of how this chapter turned out! 💚
QOTC: What do you think about the book so far? Has it dragged on too much? Did it take way too long for them to get together? (We're about 80k words in lol) Are there any parts/scenes you wish I would have written more/less about? Do you like the dynamic between E&C and the rest of the group?
I'm starting a new book (not a sequel to this one yet), so any feedback is greatly appreciated!