MY FINGERS rummaging through the last drawer of Daniel's closet was the only sound in our bedroom. Occasionally, I'd whip my head around, afraid someone might catch me sneaking, Daniel won't be home any time soon.
Beads of sweat gathered around my forehead, despite having done this several times before, this was something I'd hate if Daniel would do, but here I was, doing the one thing I absolutely loathed.
I was scared with the idea of him becoming even more distrustful rather than having to use another lame excuse to cover the mess I'd been doing behind his back.
Beneath abandoned notepads, business cards and photo albums, an extra credit card lay, untouched for two months til' then. I shouldn't be doing this, but my bank account had emptied out.
Plus, I didn't have the energy to ask for extra amount of allowance from Daniel because he'd done more than enough for me. He'd question why and where and how much I was spending abundant lately, and ask me questions I hadn't figured out legit answers to.
"Babe, I'm home."
As soon as I heard light footfalls from the living room, I froze in my tracks, before telling myself to take a deep breath. He was supposed to be on night duty.
I didn't have time to hide the card and slam the drawer shut, because he was already leaning against the door, his arms folded with confusion swimming in his eyes.
I didn't blame him for being suspicious. The card he assumed he'd lost five months ago was between my fingers in perfect condition.
"I decided to dust a few things," I said.
"It's not Sunday yet."
"Why not?" I shrugged. "And I found the card you lost in the drawer, you know, when I was cleaning the drawer."
Lying wasn't my best ability, but I was learning to master it, since I'd known honesty wasn't always the best policy when it comes to surviving life. Without some lies sugar-coating my imperfections, I wouldn't have made out of my old life. I wouldn't be living with Daniel in a comfortable place.
"How was your day?" I changed the subject, carefully tucking the card between the pages of a red album.
"It was busy as usual."
He trudged closer to hug me and kiss the top of my head. "I missed you so much. Matt is letting me off tonight and taking my place. He said I need a break and mend things with you. So, I'm wondering if you wanna go out a bit."
I nodded almost immediately, scared he'd figure me out. It was an upgrade he didn't ask me further questions.
Matt was his best mate since high school. He never had me feeling unwelcome in his presence. But he made sure I knew he wasn't my biggest fan. It's safe to say we were okay. Matt knew about me more than he needed to.
He knew a few things which could change the way Daniel see me and veer the course of our relationship. Matt's never promised he wouldn't tell Daniel anything, so it was best to stay on his good terms.
Therefore, I looked down, feeling too guilty to look into his eyes and admit I had been trying to think of possible places he'd kept his money all day long. Like a good reader he was, he'd effortlessly unveil all the emotions I'd tried to bury, had I not avoided eye contact.
"Wanna join me for a quick shower?"
It'd be anything but a quick shower if I actually joined in, and we'd end up fucking each other's brains out instead of spending the evening to sort things like two civil adults.
"No, I'll just change into something."
I chose to wear a summer short dress and a pair of slippers, put some light makeup on, since it was hard to predict where he'd take me, considering he enjoyed both fine dining and simple night walks. And it always depended on his mood.
When Daniel stepped out of the shower, I was reminded I was lucky to be this hot piece of man's girlfriend.
He had shapes of roses tattooed underneath his abdomen and down to the area covered with the towel. I couldn't help but wonder if Dominic had any. I shouldn't had been thinking of that annoying prick. But the dirty side of my mind wanted to know.
Pushing aside my irrelevant thoughts, I focused on Daniel instead. He cared about me more than everyone from my past combined. He was supportive, cool, affectionate, and handsome. He had blonde hair, a killer smile, and a body that got me all worked up. I loved him.
When we got on the road, his free hand held mine while he was driving. He told me how his day went and asked how I was feeling.
So far, we hadn't verbally abused each other, so it was definitely a start.
The street lights illuminated the side of his face, his eyes softened and worry evident on his pretty face. He wasn't a man of many words. I wondered what was running through his head. Was he still thinking about the card? Or had he already regretted taking me out?
The rest of the car ride passed in a comfortable silence. No words needed to be said and I eased in my seat, starting to forget I'd been under stress. Hopefully, tonight wouldn't be a disaster after all.
We pulled up at a nice, cozy-looking diner which was bustling like a beehive with couples and families. The place was popular due to its well-decorated space, dim-lit area and delicious food. It was no surprise to see the private booths were the most occupied out of all seats. Emily, head-waitress and our acquaintance, waved us across from the bar before making her way to us.
"Hey, welcome back."
As if she knew what was on our minds, her mouth turned into a sly smile, before leading us to a booth in the farthest corner possible. Daniel slipped out a chunk of tips onto the table, sending Emily a polite smile. She needed not ask us what we wanted to order, she tucked the money in her blouse and spinned on her heels, leaving the two of us alone. She knew exactly what we wanted and would return half an hour later with a tray, because we were regular customers who made some unusual noises.
Anything could happen at a booth— anything that involved taking my skirt off and Daniel's fingers driving me off to familiar edges. Thank, god, the music blasting loud through the speakers did much help to cover our unholy sounds.
The tension was thick and we needed to talk first, instead of using sex to get over things.
"I'm sorry about last night," Daniel spoke after a while.
He wasn't a foreigner with the sorry word but he'd never thrown it around for an easy way.
"It's okay. I shouldn't have ignored you like that. I understand it's hard for you to trust me again. But believe me when I say you're the only man I'm in love with."
His fingers brushed mine before holding them tight.
"I love you so much that I'm afraid of losing you someday. Promise me you won't ever leave me. Tell me if something's bothering you. You know, we can always work things out."
He'd been authentic and open about his feelings. I loved everything about him, especially, his emotional side. If only I could treat him the way he deserved to be.
"I swear on my heart I won't leave someone like you." I smiled, liking the feel of his fingers entwined with mine.
His hands encircled my waist, his lips edging closer to mine. I let myself melt into his manly scent, tugging at his shiny strands. One kiss led to another, and he was close to getting rid of my underwear when someone interrupted our moment.
"Hey, Daniel. I didn’t expect to find you here."
A girl stood just beside us.
It was hard to detect her features, but I noticed that long, curly hair that ran down the dapper brunette's waist and her ungodly curvy hips.
Suddenly, I felt small, unattractive even.
Kiara slid next to Daniel, instead of taking the opposite seat, like it wasn't a big deal. I was sure she saw me, yet, she even pretended to not notice me.
"Hi, Kia," Daniel replied, surprised and his tone chipper.
Why did he seem so elated seeing her? Of course, they were best friends. No need to be jealous. I reminded myself.
"I'm actually feeling so disrespected right now. My date stood me up. I'd never felt so worthless in my entire life." Kiara sobbed, shaking her head dismissively.
"It's okay. You'll be fine. He's an asshole and he doesn't deserve you,"
She latched onto Daniel's shirt and laid her head against his chest, sobbing even more.
"I can't—it's so sad. I wanna cry my lungs out."
Don't forget to cry your botox out too.
I held back the urge to add a nasty remark. Kiara irritated me so much, the sight of her pricked my skin. She was such a drama queen and Daniel wouldn't even push her away. But I couldn't blame him. Knowing Daniel, he'd do his best to comfort even a homeless dog, no less his best friend.
Kiara ceased crying, then, with her body poised like an actress, she grabbed a tissue from her purse, dabbing her face to make sure she hadn't smudged her concrete makeup.
I was upset, horny, angry and insecure. They shared a bond I'd never experienced with him and I hated how Kiara easily made him chuckle and got him so engrossed into their conversation that he seemed to have forgotten I was in the same booth, sitting beside him with anger bubbling inside my chest.
Honestly, I couldn't recall seeing him this happy with me. If only he'd feel enthusiastic fucking me as half as talking with Kiara, I wouldn't have a couple of sex toys stored in my closet for my sexually frustrated pussy.
I hated to admit, but Kiara was smart, determined and hell bent sexy. She was a bitch and had a good job hiding it all under her 'best friend' facade.
"Sara, your hair looks dry. You probably need to fix it. Just a friendly reminder." Kiara smiled at me, before easing into Daniel's arms again.
"Did I fucking ask for your irrelevant opinion? Sure, think whatever you want about my fucking hair. Well, honey, unlike you, I don't go hair shopping."
Kiara's eyes widened and I figured I'd struck a nerve or two, because Daniel looked at me for the first time in a while, his eyes disapproving, mouthing 'I'll deal with you later'. I couldn't help it. I didn't want to beat around the bush and pretend I could tolerate her. Everything about her made me want to pull my hair out.
Food arrived some moments later and Daniel returned his undivided attention back to his dearest Kiara.
It was as if I didn't even exist.
Anger seared through my brain and I took a long breath, telling myself to not slice her eyeballs out and concentrated on the pasta plate.
This was supposed to be our date. But, apparently, it’d become Kiara Therapy Session.
I stabbed the potatoes with my fork, imagining it was Kiara’s fucking face. My eyes darted between them. Her fingers touching his shoulder and him smiling like a teenage boy. I couldn’t bear it.
Not looking back, I stormed out of the booth, afraid I might explode.
I needed fresh air to think. To stop myself from possible murder attempts. I leaned against his SUV car, my head too heated to form a thought. I was furious.
I knew Daniel followed me out when I heard him let out a sigh and stand close to me, hands in pockets.
He was supposed to pull me close and tell me I wasn't being petty and that he loved me.
"Seriously, Sara, what's wrong with you?"
The words pouring out of his mouth didn't surprise me one bit. Disbelieved, I scoffed, a lump started to form in my throat.
"What's wrong with me, huh? I don't know why you're wasting your time with me if you want her that much." I grinded my teeth.
"I was just comforting her as a good friend. She's been through a lot lately. The least you could do was being nice to her instead of being a rude, ignorant person."
"I'm really done being nice to her. She's insufferable." I rolled my eyes.
"Says you." He snorted, not missing a beat.
I looked up in hope of finding a trace of lie in his eyes. But his unfaltering gaze confirmed my doubt. He actually meant it.
My vision turned blurry as my emotions betrayed me. I'd be foolish to say the phrase 'let's break up'. He'd been my longest term boyfriend and I couldn't be courageous enough to say I was done with him for good.
"Go fuck her, okay? I don't care anymore."
He let out a grunt, before placing a kiss with enough pressure to let me know he was mad.
I should’ve pushed him away, given him a piece of my mind and called Tina to come pick me up. But I didn’t. Instead, I pulled him close and returned the gesture, letting myself melt in him. We kissed til' we had to pause and take panting breaths.
"I'm sorry. We're always fighting and I know it's my fault. You don’t have to worry. She means nothing more than a friend to me."
His words reassured me, and in a moment of weakness, I believed we could work on our dwindling chemistry.
I'd never thought I'd be emotionally invested in this relationship. I had a neat dating streak. No feelings. No attachments. No hard good bye's.
Daniel was only supposed to be just a dude who supported me financially, and I was scared because, deep down, I knew he meant more than an easy pass to life, despite my better judgement.
My phone rang, bringing me out of my trance. I was certain L was calling me.
The sheer horror must've shown on my face, since Daniel eyed me in suspicion.
"Pick it up," he demanded, as if he knew I was hiding something from him.
My hands trembled with my heart constricting. I couldn't bring myself to pick up. If I did, everything would turn into a mess. I pondered over whether or not should I accept the call. One wrong decision would easily destroy the life I'd sacrificed so much to live in a split second, and my secrets would be out.
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early update cuz why not? :-)