CHAPTER SEVENTEEN...
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time a little girl was searching for the stars. She resided in permanent darkness, in a nebula of pain, a shell --no, a cage-- where there was no escape. She lived behind these bars, waiting, watching, hoping that someday the sky would align and she would be set free. She prayed --to no one in particular, just some unseeing force-- that one day she might grow wings and fly from the confines of her head and her heart. She wished to be free of the voices, she wished to gain control of the shadows that haunted her mind. She wanted to be free of the devil that stood outside her door.
That day --the day she would be set free-- seemed to slip farther and farther out of her grasp as the years waned on.
When she was ten a man took her from her home, killing her parents and winning the young girl for himself. He experimented on her, tortured her, cut scars into her skin that wouldn't ever fade. She would never forget the long nights spent crying into her pillow, the days where dark circles brimmed her eyes and she was left sitting in a drab room with a man sitting across from her. The days where all he would do was sit beside her and cup her cheek and tell her of his grand plans, then remove her energy with his palm and smile as she cried out. He would always smile at her screams.
Oh, how she hated that sickly sweet smile.
Yet, all of these memories, all of this pain, all the anger, slowly began to release. Her fear began to dwindle the moment a dark haired man stepped onto a boat and helped her jump off the side. It fell to ruin when she went to a facility where she would be safe and found a group of friends --no, family-- that she could call home. The recollections became just that, remnants of the past, unburdened yet unrelenting. She gained control after years of fighting with herself, of battling the darkness within her. She found family, she found friends, she found guardians and the closest thing she could get to a normal life.
When I thought I would see Sebastian Shaw again, I imagined him on the ground, knees touching the floor with his hands raised above his head. He would be pleading for mercy, begging for me to show an ounce of compassion. In my greedy fantasies, I would turn away from him, denying everything, and watch as he was pulled away to forever rot in a cell.
When I imagined speaking with my captor once again, I pictured a stark white room and a sheet of plexiglass between us, ears to a phone. I would sit in my chair, looking into his blazing eyes, and smile. I would grin, my mouth stretching wide, and I would laugh. Staccato beats of my trill voice would ring out across the room, and he would stiffen and lash out in anger, but he could not touch me. Those hands would never graze my cheek again. Never grasp my neck so hard I would sport bruises the next day. His hands would never push a strand of hair from my tear-stained cheeks, and he would never whisper his plans into my ears, telling me stories as if it would calm me down.
When I imagined coming face to face with Sebastian Shaw once again, he would either be in handcuffs, led away from the group dejected, having lost everything, or he would be dead. For a few blissful moments, for a few golden days, I was lost in those delusions, lost in the stars above, lost in the daydream that he would never hurt me again.
But nothing lasts forever.
I was wrong. About everything. The next time I saw Shaw he wasn't defeated. He wasn't dead. He wasn't raising his hands to the sky, pleading with us to have mercy on him and everything he'd done.
No. That was not what happened.
I look down, my head bobbing to the side, exhaustion and shadows gripping the side of my vision.
A man holds me close to him, arms wrapping around my shoulders and one hand pressing into the side of my neck. His mouth is inches from my ear, and I feel something metal push up against my head.
It's him. He's the one holding me, taking away my powers with his own, and there is nothing I can do about it. This was not what I imagined. This was not what I hoped. Those stars I looked for are gone, hidden behind clouds of ebony and despair.
"Hello Leena." he says again. His breath is hot on my skin, and a tremor runs through my body. Tears are already running down my cheeks. I look back up. Erik is on the other side of the room, his back turned away from us. He's looking around, most likely communicating with Charles.
He has no idea that Shaw is here. Erik has no idea that he has caught me once again. No, no please no, I think. Shaw's grip tightens. No no no no no no. I look up towards Erik as Shaw keeps me close to him. He still hasn't turned around. I can't move. I can't breathe. I thought I could be strong, I thought I could face him again without breaking down.
But I didn't expect him to hold me. I didn't think he would ever touch me again.
Shaw lifts his head upwards. "Erik." he says, voice booming and lined with an emotion I can't understand. My powers are draining from my flesh into his hands. I recall Moira saying he was becoming some kind of nuclear weapon. Any moment, he could explode, and I'll be in the line of fire. White hot flames race along my bones from his hand on my neck.
Erik slowly turns his head, eyes crazed and panicked. That anxiety only increases when he sees me.
"Get away from her." Erik says, his voice so low I can barely make it out. Shaw shakes his head and pulls both of us into a strange room. Blue lights emit from the center, and mirrors, dozens of mirrors line the walls. Reflections of Shaw's cool calm and my panicked face glare down on us. Erik takes a step forwards, his features twisting into something I can't bear to look at.
"What a pleasant surprise." Shaw says. I whimper.
Faintly, like a distance bell ringing in a faraway church, a man is speaking. Leena-- Lee- What's goin-- Erik? Shaw takes more energy from me, black swirling around his fingers.
Erik steps into the strange mirrored room, and closes the door behind him. "Let her go." That same whispered tone.
"So good to see you again." Shaw says, ignoring Erik's pleas. I look at him, and Erik stares back, his jaw tightening. I can't move. My knees give way beneath me but Shaw keeps me upright.
"Let. Her. Go." Erik growls, and he takes a step closer.
Shaw laughs. "Do you hear that Leena?" His mouth is so close to my ear.
Erik doesn't say anything, he only steps closer. Shaw's grip loosens, but not before he plants two fingers on my cheek. Something hot and putrid bubbles underneath my skin, and I cry out in pain as the energy pulses through my body. It feels as if a thousand knives, hot at the tip, are digging into my flesh.
Shaw sighs. "Have it your way." He flings me forward, energy from his hands making me soar through the air. I land on the ground on the other side of the room, my back slamming into the wall. My legs have lost all feeling, my stomach is on fire, and my head feels like it weighs a hundred pounds. I try to look up, but whatever Shaw did is too powerful, and I slump back down.
Erik stands in front of me, his arms hanging at his sides. He looks back at me, face stricken, but when he sees me, he does not come over. Instead, his brows constrict and his eyes flash. He turns back towards Shaw, who is looking over at me with a smirk on his lips.
A strange metal helmet rests on his head, cold and made of some sort of metal. "Don't worry," Shaw says. "I'll have her back with me soon enough."
Erik takes frantic steps towards Shaw and stops in front of the older man. "No." he says, low enough that I almost wonder if I imagine him speaking it.
"May I ask you something?" Shaw says. "Why are you on their side?" A thousand Erik's and Shaw's reflect along the walls, distorted, but I can see Erik's face change. His mouth goes slack, and his eyes glisten in the ethereal light.
Then there is me, a girl who did little to try and fight, but who can't seem to get up and try again. I told myself I would get back up. When my powers changed from cold to warm, I pledged that I would not let Shaw hurt me again. I would fight and I would stand with the rest of the group.
Now look where it got me.
Get up, get up, get up! I think, screaming at myself. I move an arm that was underneath my head to shift onto my elbow. I prop myself up, straining against the pain and agony it brings me. That movement is enough to cause another round of pain to send itself coursing through my body. I grit my teeth but make no sound. Shaw isn't looking at me anymore, he's focused solely on Erik, another one of his experiments, another child he lied to for so many years.
"Why fight for a doomed race who will hunt us down as soon they realize their reign is coming to an end?" Shaw continues. Erik doesn't move for a second, his face contorting.
Then he reaches up and punches Shaw across the face. Shaw leans to the side, and for a split second, his face is split into two halves. The image distorts in the mirror, but I'm sure of what I saw. When he looks back at Erik, it becomes three, then they all sew back together to become his own face once again. I've seen his hands split before, I've watched him grow three arms to help contain energy, but I've never seen it happen to his own face.
However much energy Shaw has consumed, it's far larger than anything he's done before. Erik staggers back, bewildered, and not for the first time I remember that Erik didn't know Shaw was a mutant until I told him after we were saved from the yacht.
My entire life Shaw has been this all powerful devil in disguise, a man with far greater abilities than I could ever hope to possess, much less control. To Erik, Shaw was just the man who killed his mother and tortured him in his youth.
"I'm sorry for what happened in the camps." Shaw whispers. Erik's face falls, sweat glistening on his forehead. I try to stand up, try to move. I need to go to him. I need to protect him from Shaw. But all I can do is watch as Erik Lehnsherr falls apart in front of me.
"I truly am." Shaw continues. Erik doesn't even move as Shaw reaches up and taps his forehead. A wave of energy runs through Shaw's arm, sending Erik flying hard into the wall. The glass shatters behind him, leaving a small crack. Erik lands on the ground, his forehead spotting with blood. He looks over at me, and begins to crawl, but before he can reach me, Shaw yanks me up and grabs onto my waist. I'm too tired that I can't even move, but I move my hands up to pull away from him. Shaw is too strong.
"But everything I did." Shaw looks down at me. "I did for you." He's not talking to just Erik now, he's talking to both of us. That makes it so much worse. Erik tries to get up, cracking his jaw, eyes flitting between Shaw and me.
"To unlock your power," Shaw makes us take a step forward. "To make you embrace it." Erik reaches out a hand towards me, and I try to raise my own, but before I can, Shaw places his fingers underneath Erik's chin. Erik is flown again to the other side, shattering the glass completely.
"No!!" I scream, trying to break free. My voice is hoarse, like it hasn't been used in years. But I am able to speak again, and I try to yell out. "Let go of me!!!"
"Quiet, Leena." Shaw says, but another voice fills my head. Leena! Leena, if you can hear me you have to keep breaking the glass! I can start to see Shaw, if I can see him fully, I will be able to control his mind. Charles' voice overpowers Shaw's.
My head snaps up, newfound vitality running along my veins. It's not enough to break away from Shaw, but it's enough to clear my head. The pain throbbing in my body subsides enough for me to gain an awareness of my surroundings.
"You've come a long way from bending gates." Shaw tells Erik. "I'm so proud of you." I squirm and push against Shaw, my teeth grinding against my jaw. I'm screaming. It's working, Charles tells me. I need to get to Erik, but how can I break free of Shaw if all he does is take my powers away?
Erik stands up, slipping over his feet.
There is more to your power than you know, Leena. Charles' voice is a distant echo in the chaos that rains down around me. I freeze, pondering his words. More to my power? My power is the dark energy, and Shaw is able to absorb it before I even have a chance.
Not all of it. I stiffen, my mind whirring, bones shattering within my body at the pain Shaw has inflicted. Not all of it. Then it dawns, as clear as crystal, one of the final pieces to the puzzle, the reason I could never get away from Shaw before.
I used to think he could always take away my power because I controlled dark energy, but there is another side to my ability, a side he won't be able to touch, something I've disregarded these past few weeks. Emotion. If I want to manipulate someone else's emotions, then the dark energy will appear, but what if I could try and change someone's emotions without calling the shadows? What if all this time, I've had the choice to use the dark energy or not? I am an Empath, a manipulator of emotions, someone who feels too much too often. Emotions and energy are different, I've just been lumping them together because of my mutation.
I close my eyes, pushing away the shadows Shaw has taken from me as they try to reach for their creator. My hands curl into fists. Not this time, I tell the darkness, and surprisingly, it listens. The shadows retreat into the depths of my mind, and the energy Shaw has taken hides away as I reach into his own head. Past the metal helmet, I reach into his mind, into his heart, a place I never wanted to go before. I reach at his emotions, an imperceptible assassin as Shaw is focused on Erik.
I wait, a predator ready to pounce, and when Shaw finally looks down at me for a split second, I make the kill.
I twist the emotions in Shaw's mind, keeping the energy at bay. One pull, one stab, and all Shaw can feel is pain. He grunts, hands dropping to his side as his head clouds over, confused at the sudden change in his emotions.
This is my chance. I leap away from Shaw, landing in Erik's outstretched hands. He pulls me behind him, and I sag against the wall, my spirit drained. It turns out that keeping half of my ability at bay takes a toll on the rest of the body. I feel as if I'm suspended in warm water, the lull of sleep tugging at me from all sides.
Erik staggers upright, keeping one hand in front of me. He raises his other hand and pulls. Metal beams crash through the walls of the submarine, colliding with Shaw's body. Erik pulls more and more, flecks of steel raining down upon us. I hold onto Erik's hand as he finishes, Shaw encased in a cage of iron. I smirk. I know what it feels like, and I hope now Shaw does too.
My smile falters as the man levels his gaze with us again. "You're just starting to scratch the surface." He says, voice calm. I shrink back. Shaw slowly begins to walk forward, and his pure strength is enough to move the metal beams out of his way, like commoners bowing down to their king. Erik puts up his arms, straining against Shaw's power. I place a hand on his shoulder, spreading power across his body, trying to help him. Sweat blossoms on my tear-stained cheeks.
"Think how much farther we could go," Shaw says. "Together." On the last word, Shaw pushes a heavy metal beam against Erik. My knees give way beneath me, and I sink to the floor. I'm small enough to crawl away.
I could do it, I could make a run for it, breaking through the barriers, getting away from him. Shaw sees my eyes flicker, and all hope of escaping is lost. He reaches down and tugs me by the collar. I scream and kick, but it's no use. He pulls me close and then pins me against the wall beside Erik. The force of it rattles my teeth. Shaw keeps one hand on the beam, keeping Erik locked and the other around my neck. I cry out and Shaw releases me.
Barely, so that only I can hear, he whispers. "I'll get to you soon enough." He turns back to Erik, and I sink down. Shaw moves over slightly and puts his head close to Erik's face. I've never seen Erik look so lost. He struggles and pants, his eyes glistening.
I know how that feels. I know what it's like to be so helpless in front of Shaw.
"I don't want to hurt you, Erik." Shaw says. "I want to help you." If I wasn't in such a breathless frenzy, I would have snorted. "This is our time. Our age. We are the future of the human race."
"No," I whisper, my breath like a feather on the wind. Shaw looks over towards me and let's go of Erik. I close my eyes, tears lining my eyelids.
"This world could be ours." He states. "Do you remember when I told you that, Leena?" He moves away from Erik, the metal beam still holding the man in place. I try to crawl away but Shaw grabs me roughly by the arm and tugs me up. He pushes me against the glass, just as he did Erik, and places a tender hand on my cheek. I writhe and jolt away, but nothing works. I can't escape.
"It was you and me, Leena," Shaw says slowly. "We could take on the world. You were the anomaly. The reason everything fell into place. Your power was unmatched, and it was mine." I gulp. "I made you who you are today, just as I did Erik. For years, I had you to keep everything together. You are my weapon, my virtue, you are like a daughter to me."
"No." I choke out. "I am not your daughter."
"Oh, but you are." Shaw says. "You have been ever since you were a small little child. I remember those days well, you were so tiny, so helpless, yet so powerful." Shaw laughs, a dry, hollow sound. "You are mine, Leena, you always have been, and when this day is over, we will bring forth the rise of mutants, and you will be by my side."
I turn away, looking at nothing and everything all at once. The world spins, and my skin prickles from where Shaw holds me. I can't breathe, I can't move, I'm trapped, my wings cut off, everything is dark and distorted and painful.
I'm lost.
I look up at Shaw, look into the eyes of the man I hate with every fiber of my being. The man who brought me so much pain, so much agony. The man who sees me as a daughter in a twisted, poisonous way. A weapon, that's what I am to him. A weapon so fragile, so damaged, and so easily malleable that he thinks I am not my own, but I am his.
I look into those deadly eyes, where false concern and righteousness swirl through his pupils. Then I see it, the other light, the second realization I've been missing. It's so clear I almost gasp.
I crane my neck and lean closer to him, so that Sebastian Shaw and only Sebastian Shaw can hear me. If he wants me to be a weapon, then I'll be a weapon.
"Everything you did, to both me and Erik, made us who we are today. Made us the weapons we are today." I take a deep breath. "You ruined me. Tortured me. Stripped me down until I was only flesh and bone and the power you sought to gain. For so long I sat in my cage and imagined the day you would die. I hated you more than anything else in the world." Shaw's smile falters.
"And for so many years I thought I was exactly what you imagined me to be. Weak, damaged, fragile. I wasn't in control, I thought you were. All those nights spent screaming for you to stop, all those days you took me places and made me kill, I thought I was just a thing. I was a prisoner, and I didn't even try to escape, not really."
Determination flares in my bones, and I stand straighter, my knees growing stronger, my hands curling into fists.
"I'm not that little girl anymore. I'm not your weapon. And I'm not your prisoner." I push up against him, and Shaw takes a step back. "No more experiments. No more nightmares. No more days wasted thinking about what you did to me. I'm not that lost little bird, and I'm not yours." I peer over my shoulder, and now my mouth really does smile. "So no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, I am not going to let you win anymore. You're not taking me with you. You're not bringing the war upon mankind. You're never going to taste victory."
Shaw staggers back another step, and I move to stand in front of Erik, who let's the beam fall easily away from him. Erik stands beside me, and I place my hand into his. Shaw quickly tries to recover, putting on a mask of indifference. He still thinks he can beat us.
"Because you may be our creator." I say."but we are weapons. And weapons always defeat the creator."
The strip of wire Erik slowly had inching towards Shaw pounces, pulling the helmet off his head. Shaw takes one last look at me, his eyes going wide, then turns to try and grab it.
"Now, Charles!" Erik yells. Shaw freezes. His entire body stiffens as if all of his joints have locked up. He is still reaching for the helmet, but his fingers never touch the object. Charles has blocked all his movements.
I take a deep breath and let go of Erik's hand, slowly walking around the frozen Shaw to come face to face with him. He's not looking at me, but I can still feel the burning gaze of his eyes lingering on my face.
Erik comes up beside me.
"What do we do now?" I ask, but from the shake of Erik's hands and cold stare of his eyes, I already know the answer, and I find that I don't care.
"Sorry Charles." Erik says, and the helmet swerves into his palm.
Erik, please, Charles is speaking to both of us, be the better man, you have it in you, Erik don't! As Erik places the helmet over his head, I place walls of shadows along my mind, cutting off Charles' voice.
After everything that's happened, I can't let Shaw hurt anyone else. Even if this breaks me, even if I have to live with the guilt for a rest of my life, I don't care. I just want to be able to sleep without thinking about where he is or how close he might be to finding me again.
I have to let Erik do this.
"It's not that I don't trust you." Erik tells Charles, and the helmet rests fully upon his crown of hair.
I take a deep breath. Erik walks forward, still gripping my hand. He looks at Shaw. "If you're in there, I'd like you to know that I agree with every word you said." My breath hitches, and I look towards him. No, I think, he's lying.
"We are the future." he says. I drop my hand.
Leena -- don't let him -- please! Charles' voice distorts against my walls, but I find myself hesitating. Erik looks back at me, and his face softens.
"But, unfortunately," Erik walks toward me, then turns to Shaw. "You've hurt the people I love." Erik places a comforting hand on my shoulder and stares into my eyes. "Will you let me do this, Leena?"
I look back at Shaw. After everything I've said, everything I told him, I hesitate. I was so sure only moments ago, ready to watch this man die, but now, after hearing what Erik said, I can't help but falter. Is this really how I want it to end? After everything Shaw has done to me, do I want to watch him die instead of bringing him to justice?
This is justice, I think, he can never hurt anyone again. I give my head a slight shake, trying to sort out my thoughts. Erik, to his credit, doesn't say anything.
After what feels like an eternity, I come to a conclusion. I look up at Erik, my gaze steadfast and determined.
"Do it." I say, my voice barely a whisper.
Erik nods and spins back to Shaw. He opens his palm and a strange silver coin floats upwards. "This is what we're going to do." I turn away. I might be letting him die, but I can't watch. I told myself only days ago I could never deal with murder, and now here I am, letting Erik kill the man I hate. I can't look away for long, and turn back around.
"I'm going to count to three." Erik continues. "And I'm going to move the coin." The coin lifts out of his hand. "One." It starts to glide across the room.
Please---Leena--stop him. I gulp and close the walls tighter.
"Two." The coin closes in on Shaw's head, and I hold my breath. "Three." The coin enters Shaw's head. It pushes it's way through his skin and skull, retreating farther and farther until I can't see it anymore. I don't know why, but a tear slips down my cheek.
There is an awful squishing noise, and a bloodied coin falls to the ground behind him, spinning and spinning until it finally comes to a complete stop.
Shaw falls limply to the ground, his body giving way under him. I'm close enough that when he drops, the tip of his fingers graze my shoe. I let out a gasp, air trying to push it's way through my lungs.
I drop to my knees.
He's dead.
Sebastian Shaw is dead.
AUTHOR'S NOTE...
It happened. He is dead. I'm crying.
This was the most emotional chapter I've written so far. I hope I did his death justice, because it was very satisfying to write.
That's it, I am emotionally drained now... I hope you liked this chapter!
Love, Mal