Chapter forty-one; The cigarette therapy
▴ ◃ ▾ ▹
The halls in the night were dark and cold and every little sound bounced off the walls. Jasmine decided against going to the kitchens as she spent every night there for the past couple of times. Every night she sat at the counter with hot cocoa in her hands and waited. She didn't bake as there was no one there to enjoy it with her, she just sat and watched the dark part of the kitchens. Remus never once showed up. She was stressed, she was losing sleep because of it, she didn't listen to classes because she was usually daydreaming and she could in no way concentrate. She couldn't even message him as he was in possession of the parchment and he didn't send her anything since. The source of the problem was clear, but the solution was nowhere to be seen.
There was a thumping sound that echoed through the halls and it made Jasmine stop walking. She hugged her torso to keep a bit warm as she turned her body around and inspected the source of the sound. Nothing was coming closer to her, which meant she avoided Filch entirely. She furrowed her eyebrows and slowly turned around again. Then she was met with a figure of another person. She screamed very loudly not expecting anything.
''Fuck you, Sirius!'' Jasmine shouted and put a hand over her fast-beating heart. She narrowed her eyes at a cackling Sirius in front of her, who found that it was fairly easy to scare Jasmine.
''Nah I'm good, Robyn already did that,'' Sirius replied before more chuckles escaped him.
Jasmine needed a few moments to get what he meant with the joke. Right after she groaned and practically refrained from hitting her forehead at the stupid joke. Once Sirius' laughter died, Jasmine thought took a more confusing turn.
''How did you know I was here?'' She asked raising her eyebrows at the Gryffindor who then took his place next to her as they walked further down the hall.
Hogwarts was enormous, with many halls and many secret passageways. There was a very low chance of running into each other at the same time of the night at the same place.
''I heard your footsteps a bit away and came to check.'' Sirius shrugged nonchalantly.
Jasmine furrowed her eyebrows even more. It sounded like an excuse because she was certain she walked silently through the halls at night. She perfected that skill a long time ago. Unbeknownst to her, a folded parchment was sticking out of Sirius' back pocket of his jeans. She decided to drop the subject and they fell into a comfortable silence. She had her head turned away looking out the giant windows at the dark sky.
''Smoke?'' Sirius asked.
Jasmine looked at him only to see a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and he was offering her an open pack. She scrunched up her nose and lightly shook her head, declining the idea. ''Since when do you smoke?'' She asked as Sirius lit his cigarette up with a lighter. She watched him puff out the cloud of smoke with a curious expression.
''Only when I'm really stressed or something,'' Sirius answered vaguely.
Jasmine nodded and looked away from him. His answer only produced questions in her mind of what could make Sirius be so stressed currently. The fact that he was out of bed was another factor, which meant he couldn't sleep due to his excessive thinking, something he and Jasmine shared. She thought back at their last encounter and let out a sigh.
''I'm sorry for yelling at you the last time.'' She apologised, feeling guilty for being so mean towards him.
Sirius looked sideways at her with a small smile tugging at his lips. He took another pull at his cigarette. ''It's fine really. I know you didn't mean it.''
Jasmine was a bit surprised by his reply but she smiled at him nonetheless. He started to notice how certain situations bring different reactions out of Jasmine. The ones she can't control, because it's like a burst of emotion and she gives herself no time to think before saying something. Sirius has yelled at his friends out of frustration too, not because they were annoying but because for example he just received a letter from his family. So when he said he knew why Jasmine acted as she did, he was telling the truth.
''I like your shirt.'' Sirius gestured to Jasmine.
She looked down at the t-shirt under her cardigan and smiled at the Fleetwood Mac logo. ''Robyn gave it to me as a gift. I like their songs but I can't listen to them at home. Pureblood house means no stereo.'' She smiled at the same time and shrugged.
When they walked through the main ground, particularly the part where it opened up to the courtyard they continued talking about different bands and songs their friends got them to listen to. Sirius put out the cigarette and immediately lighted a new one, which Jasmine noticed but didn't comment on it. She looked out again at the very clear night sky. Her eyes followed the patterns of stars, searching for any constellation, which she sadly didn't know any off. Her hours at Astronomy were wasted just as they were in any other class.
Then they stepped into the light of the moon, which was bright upon the sky and Jasmine's mind again deterred from the conversation. Although Sirius was a great person to talk to when you wanted your mind off of certain things, he was also great for the deep talk. Her eyes stayed on the moon that was slowly becoming smaller. The atmosphere was silent as they ran out of things to talk about but it only gave Jasmine an idea to finally talk to someone about Remus.
She would be lying if she said she never thought of telling Sirius everything, how she likes his best friend and how they kissed because she was sure Sirius wouldn't tell a soul. But she chose not to as anything could eventually turn against them and Jasmine would lose Remus. In that moment she decided she at least has to know something about Remus being a werewolf.
''Is Remus alright?'' She blurted before she could properly phrase the question in her head.
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Jasmine but kept silent. Jasmine saw a small smirk was starting to appear on his lips and she quickly spoke further before Sirius could start with the teasing.
''He is sick a lot, injured too. I'm just curious if he's alright because of all the times he visits the Hospital Wing.'' Jasmine hoped her rambling didn't give her away on anything.
Sirius kept pulling on the cigarette as he thought how to go about the situation. He opted for an excuse since he vowed to never tell anyone Remus' secret. Or his own for that matter. ''You know how it is with us, we're reckless someone's bound to end up in there. And Remus also oftentimes goes home, because his mum is sick and-''
''Sirius.'' Jasmine interrupted Sirius' little speech. At first, he didn't hear her and he continued speaking so she had to repeat his name louder this time until he stopped. He looked at her with confusion written all over his face. Jasmine took a deep breath and couldn't believe what she's going to say.
''I know.'' She only let out but it made Sirius even more confused so she continued. ''I know that Remus is a werewolf.'' She said very quietly.
Sirius stopped walking making Jasmine stop as well. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish on land as he stared at her with wide eyes. His first reaction wanted to be to laugh it off and ask her if she's crazy. But the look on her face when she said he knew it was true and there was no point in hiding it.
''How do you know?'' He asked with a quiet and very curious voice.
Now it was Jasmine's time to lie as of course she had to keep quiet about Remus actually telling her. She looked away from Sirius' eyes. ''I mean it started to make sense. He disappears every full moon, he turns up injured, you guys make up a million excuses for it.''
Sirius stared at her dumbfounded. There was no appropriate reaction for it and he was completely surprised that Jasmine knew and figured it out. Jasmine mustered up and looked at him only to be met with his stupid expression. She sighed and regretted mentioning it as he was acting like she just spoke in a different language. She kept quiet for another few moments before she couldn't take it anymore.
''Give me that.'' She uttered out and stole Sirius' cigarette from him.
She put it on her lips before breathing in. She lasted a couple of seconds before a coughing fit hit her and Sirius took the cig away from her. She shook her head with a screwed up face asking herself how he could do that so often without coughing his lungs up. Sirius sighed and gestured for them to keep walking.
''To answer your initial question, Remus is alright. We take care of him during his transformations.'' He spoke calmly, watching his step carefully.
Jasmine scrunched up her eyebrows in confusion as she watched Sirius. ''Don't Werewolves have a tendency to attack humans and also-'' She couldn't bring herself to finish the question.
Sirius nodded, understanding what she meant by it. He had no choice but to tell her, it seemed fair as well, she knew so much already. ''Wormtail, Prongs and I transform into Animagi. That way Remus can't hurt us and we can easily keep him in line. It still doesn't stop him from hurting himself though.'' Sirius shrugged.
Jasmine widened her eyes. They were not seventeen so she was asking herself how in the world they could become Animagi. She didn't know how to feel that she was finding these things out like this. It would at least make her talk with Remus a lot easier. A small smile tugged eventually at her lips thinking Remus' friends were always there for him and went to that extent even to become illegal Animagi for him.
''What's yours?'' Jasmine asked suddenly, turning the conversation a bit to the lighter side.
Sirius raised his head and looked at her with a small smile appreciating she took the new information so well. ''I'm a black dog.'' He said half-proud of himself.
Jasmine squinted her eyes a little in thought as dots started connecting in her head. ''Padfoot, Moony...'' She said aloud and slowly.
Sirius nodded at her and let out an airy chuckle. Suddenly the nicknames made a lot more sense, but she was still confused as to why they kept on insisting to call each other like that. Sirius went on with explaining James' and Peter's Animagi and then he talked about how they became one. Jasmine listened with interest and neither knew how much time they had been walking around the halls and just talking. Jasmine already imagined how good of a nap she's going to have the next day during Transfiguration as she'll get too little sleep once returning back to her dorm. She checked her watch and almost laughed at the early hour. She stopped making Sirius stop walking as well and look at her curiously.
''We should probably go back to bed.'' Jasmine chuckled and pointed at her watch.
Sirius nodded agreeing, a yawn escaping him as well. ''Thank you, for always listening,'' Sirius said just before Jasmine was about to turn around.
At first, she looked at him as if he was crazy but then she realised he was being, well, serious. ''Of course.'' She smiled lightly. ''Thank you as well for being there for me you know.'' She said sheepishly.
Sirius nodded as they shared mutual appreciation. They parted ways after saying goodnight and they slept with much calmer thoughts. These walks and talks really appeared therapeutic to both of them.
▴ ◃ ▾ ▹