Wattpad's Dirty Little Secrets

By altarviolence

1.3M 62.3K 19.3K

"OMG your work is so fugly." "Can that bitch even write?" "She wrote what?" "Oh gurl, hold me back." "Have yo... More

Let's have a rant shall we?
Unfanning people
Crazy authors on crack
Revenge is my best friend
Author notes
Brain dead
Authors who act like frigging bridezillas
Wattpad muders
Mouldy Cheese.
Is that my mate?
Fans
Wattpad stop cheating on me :(
Hackers and Karma
Girls Who Put Their Wet Dreams On Here
Wattpad, we need an intervention
Complainin bitches
Wattpad, please control your children
Vodka and Virgins
Oh hey there mr bad boy...
Lets talk about something
We've got juvies!
Mirror Mirror On the wall, who is the most famous of them all?
The Paris Hilton's of Wattpad
Books and Vote trading
Ugly Disaster
Diamond Sunglasses
Wattpad Covers
Drama Queens
Fans part two
Authors be like: OMG!
Authors be like: OMG (part two)
Authors be like OMG (part three)
Things I've learnt on Wattpad.
Authors be like "OMG make me a graphic!"
Authors be like: OMG (part four)
The Princes and Princesses of Wattpad
F.M.L.
OMG! He's so hot! -Babe, he's forty and you're ten...
Twelve year olds be like...
People be like "OMG! I'm leaving Wattpad."
#growupandshutup [grow up and shut up]
"OMG guys! I think I'm preggers!"
Let's Talk About Something (Part 2)
Grinches and Trolls On The Internet
I Hate Young Writers! I Hate Older Writers!
Plagarising idiots
Why Are You So Rude?!
R.I.P English Language
Boys, Boys, Boys!
The Saucy Secrets of The Cafe Club
Random Ramblings
Fans Part Three
Honey, Da Fuq is Up With Your Weave?
110% Done With Your Shit
My Kidnapper is so Hot!!
Shut Up
Wattpaders be like, "You don't know my life story!"
Wattpad, Sort Yourself Out Please
How Dare You Give Me A Harsh Critique?
You Need to Stop
Two Faced Wattpaders
Things I've learnt on Wattpad (Part 2)
Authors be Like "OMG Don't Judge Me!"
#Don't be that user
All The Small Things
Kids be Like: "OMG! I'm Suicidal!"
Wattpad in General
Public Service Announcement
Life Hacks: Private Messaging and Message Boards
Followers Be Like: "You're Such a Fugly Cow!"
Stop in The Name of Love!
Wattpad Erotic Writers Be Like: MY INNER SEX GODDESS!
Get Your Shit Together, Wattpad
Things I've Learned on Wattpad (part 3)
Plagiarisers and the 'S' word
Hold your 'fros and weaves

Bad Bad characters

28.3K 1.8K 1.2K
By altarviolence

1. Main characters, especially girls who say: 

My straightener isn't working today and my toast just got burnt.  

Life is crap.  

I've got the worst life in the world! My life is so bad!

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.  

You don't know what it means to have a bad life. You have a roof under your head, designer clothing, food on your table, and parents who take care of you and you're complaining about how bad your life is. Some people have nothing.  

They wear rags all day long, aren't protected from the elements, have no food and clean drinking water and no one who cares about their existence and you have everything so shut up.

2. Horrible character descriptions: 

My name is Lizard (ew) and I have long straight black hair, blue eyes that look like the ocean and I'm a hundred an sixty seven centimetres tall. I also have a voice like Britney Spears. My bra size is a 12D. As you can tell, I'm skinny and I have a body to die for. But I hate my boobs because they're big. I also have a fantastic butt. I'm wearing a pink and orange Chanel shirt and nice jeans to complete my designer shoes that cost over a thousand dollars. Did I also mention I am popular? But half the girls hate me because I'm so good looking.

Please. I don't want to know your character's entire profile in one paragraph. Geez! It's like a mental overload. If I was reading something like this, I don't care if your book is amazing, I'd go somewhere else and read another book.  

Ouch, I know, but amazing writers don't do that with their characters.

3. The overused characters 

Most books on this site use the same characters- white, hot, skinny, blonde or brunette with green/blue eyes. 

Ahem! What about black people, Asians, Indians and other racial groups.

4. Character stereotypes. 

The hot chick must be nice and skinny. The ugly one must be fat with acne and pimples. 

Sorry but I have friends who aren't sticks and they're frigging gorgeous. Literally.  

The hot male must have a six pack and be shirtless.  

*Gag*  

The nerd must wear geeky glasses and have a bad sense of fashion.  

*Eyeroll* 

Stop stereotyping characters.

4. Main Characters that are weak and pathetic (mostly female characters) and need the boys to rescue them. 

I know Twilight is a world hit, but don't bring characters like Bella to wattpad.  

Don't.

Sorry I took long to update :/ 

Merry Christmas people! I love you all!!

Xoxo 

Shaba

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

81.3K 3.2K 7
2 tom dylogii ,,Agony"
31.6K 666 77
In which Kim Saena is in a groupchat with a bunch of idiots Or In which Bangchan finds himself inside a groupchat with a bunch of delusional fans ~~★...
197K 710 24
its all in the title babes 😋