"How are you still cold?" Sam asks, his voice holding a tinge of humor as I lean a bit closer to him, my arm brushing his. He doesn't mind. Better me brushing up against him than the dozens of other people in the building.
"I just am," I reply over the chatter, people laughing, some still eating the sweets some of us spent all day in the kitchen making, and some still exchanging gifts. "People keep opening the door to head back to the dorms. Lets all the warm air out."
"Poor darling," He teases, and I glare at him. It only clauses him to grin wider. "Hey, now, don't make such a sour face on Christmas."
I shake my head but drop the glare. "I hope my present is really good, because now you have to make up for being mean to me."
He rolls his eyes at my dramatics. "I told you, I left it in the coms shack. I'll give it to you once we get back, and to get back to me you won't let me open my gift until we get back anyway."
For emphasis he holds up his gift, all wrapped in pink paper since trying to find Christmas themed wrapping paper has proven quite hard in the apocalypse. I can see Sam is trying to test the weight out, noticing how it isn't stiff. I'm sure he knows it's a book, or something close to it, but he doesn't know what the contents of it could possibly be. I have to bite back my grin, internally squealing at the thought of his reaction when he does get to open it.
"It'll be worth the wait, I promise."
My words bring a soft smile to his lips, but his eyes quickly focus on something different. I turn my head to see what he's staring at, and smile as Sarah and Adora both walk over to us, their hands both grasping onto the toy each of them got for Christmas. The two-year-olds both look at us expectantly, and I hold out my hand to pick up whichever one gets to me first. Surprisingly, it's Sarah.
I cock a brow, glancing over at Sam who looks surprised and amused, but he quickly picks up Adora and sets her onto his lap. She seems very content to sit with him, shaking her doll which is a knock-off version of Barbie.
"She's very pretty," Sam replies when she holds up the doll as if to show it off. I pick up Sarah, who does the same. Her doll is a bit like Adora's, although instead of blonde, her doll has black hair.
There was a lot of gift giving this year. I was able to get Phineas some new clothes. Lord knows he needed a better jacket than the one he had, and Milo got some really good running shoes and some art stuff, and a calculator, because he wanted that for some reason. I'm unsure why since he's pretty good at doing math in his head, but who am I to question his hobbies. At least he's getting more hobbies besides just running, even if that hobby has something to do with math.
I found some movies and gave them to Peter. They all had happy endings, and I thought he might need something to keep himself entertained since he'll be traveling back and forth and will have to spend some nights in Banktown, meaning he won't be able to be up at three in the morning talking to me and Tom.
I still haven't given Tom and Jody their presents yet. I was able to find Jody some really nice shampoo and conditioner. I think she'll like it. Because she's grown her hair out, it's back to blonde instead of that horrible box dye black. Now she can actually focus on getting it back to its normal state again now that she's cut off all the dead dyed bits.
I was able to find some books from the same store I found Sam's, although Tom's are more of cool historical facts and languages, just tidbits of things that he likes to grasp onto. It's hard to get someone like him gifts. Not that he wouldn't be appreciative, but as his friend I want to get him something he'd actually, truly like, and it's hard when it comes to someone like Tom.
I wince when I feel a sharp tug on my scalp and look down to see Sarah holding a lock of my hair in her small hand. She looks upset that I'm not paying her any attention. She tugs sharply on my hair again, and I hiss.
"Ow, hey." I gently grab her hand to get her to let go of my hair, and she does, although her cheeks are puffed out in frustration. "We don't pull hair."
"No, we don't," Sam agrees with a frown. "One of the nursery workers told me and Paula the other day that she's been pulling some of the other children's hair. It's weird. She's normally so sweet."
"Terrible two's, my love."
"I didn't realize she'd start with that as soon as she turned two."
I shrug. "Adora started hers at one and a half."
At the sound of her name, Adora's brown eyes snap over to me. With her red hair up in pigtails and her cute little green dress, she could almost convince me that she's a little angel. If I wasn't her mother, that is.
"Yes, I'm talking about you, you little meanie."
She giggles at my words, but then looks back her doll, mumbling the word "meanie" to it as she pulls on its arms. I turn my attention to Sarah, since I don't want her to start pulling on my hair again, but she's already lost interest in trying to gain my attention, instead going back to playing with her doll.
"Hey."
I hum, looking over at Sam. He's got a soft smile on his face when I look up at him.
"I love you," He says unexpectedly, but the words are welcome nonetheless. A smile pulls at my lips.
"I love you too."
"Are you having a good Christmas?" There is a bit of hesitance in his voice, and I nod.
"Yeah. I mean, I've spent most of today in the kitchens, but it's Christmas-the celebration of Jesus being born. Even if your gift only manages to be subpar, the holiday won't lose its meaning."
A scoff leaves Sam's lips at my slight jab. "Yeah, well, my gift isn't going to be subpar. You're going to love it and probably give me a hundred kisses before bed tonight-"
"I do that anyway."
"-And I know the holiday is something to celebrate, I just... want today to be a good day. I don't want you spacing out and thinking about..."
"I'm not," I reply. "But I appreciate your concern."
"Who's concerned?"
I jump slightly at the new voice, sending a sheepish smile to Paula and Maxine as they peer down at us. Maxine is wearing slightly wedged shoes that make her seem even taller than normal, but her soft smile makes it that she's not so intimidating, despite her question. I suppose it would only be a matter of time before they came to get their daughter.
"It's nothing," Sam replies with a shrug. He tips his head to the side when he sees the light jacket Paula has on. "Aren't you cold?"
Seeing how he was just teasing me for being cold, I know he's asking to change the subject. Smart.
"I told her to get a thicker jacket," Maxine says, nudging Paula with her elbow. She just shrugs.
"It's warm enough in here and it's only a short walk to the dorms. I'll be fine."
"You have to remember that you can get sick now."
Her lips purse. "I've been human for quite a while now. I know just as well that I can become ill, but I'm fine. No need to cause a fuss."
Maxine doesn't look very happy about that reply, but instead of saying anything she turns her attention to the girl in my arms. As soon as she holds her arms out to Sarah, the little girl leans toward her, and I let Maxine take her from me. She's been a bit clingier to her and Paula because of what happened two days ago. I have tried to do the same with my children, but Adora likes being held when she feels like it, and any other time she'll kick and scream for me to put her down and give her space.
And unfortunately, Milo and Phineas are far too smart to just see my sudden interest into spending more time with them and not question it. When we first got here Milo practically stared into my soul, wondering why I was so keen on training with him yesterday, even though I was extremely sore from my previous mission. I suppose I could have told him about just how close I got to death that day, but he knows I get close to death all the time so he would have tried to find out why this time was different. Plus I didn't want to talk about Veronica, not when he's doing so well and has new friends.
Maxine and I have only told certain people about what happened, for our sake and also Peter's.
The people in Abel are usually kind and understanding, but when scary things happen, they start to talk... and stare. Those who don't run only hear about the outside horrors, never getting used to them.
"Callista?"
There's a loud snap in front of my face, and I flinch harshly, my eyes snapping up to the owner of the hand who decided to snap her fingers in front of my face. My jaw clenches, but I don't say anything.
"Sorry," Maxine says, shifting to place Sarah on her hip. "You were zoning out on us."
I clear my throat. "Sorry." I stand, my legs feeling stiff from sitting down for so long. I grab a small basket that had been by my feet. "I still have some gifts to give out. I'll be right back."
My words feel a bit more forced than normal, as does my smile, but I turn on my heel and walk away before they can say anything, heading over to Tom and Jody who are happily enjoying some warm drinks with a few other runners. Most of them I know but don't talk to that much anymore, so I don't bother giving any greetings to them.
"Merry Christmas," I say, thrusting out the basket to Jody and Tom. They seem surprised, which honestly hurts a bit. Did they not think I wouldn't give them a gift? All thoughts of shock seem to fly out the window when Jody gasps loudly and snatches the basket from my hand.
"Where did you get this?" She exclaims, and I blink.
"I... just found it." I give a half shrug. "Well, I mean, I broke into a few hair salons and found them. I don't really know how great Eufora is, but the bottle was pretty and it said 'nourishing' on it, and I know you were trying to take care of your hair since you were growing it out so you could be blonde again-"
"I always wanted to try this brand before the apocalypse. And it's supposed to last for a really long time. It's perfect for the apocalypse." She grins widely at me, and I rub my arms sheepishly.
"I'm glad you like it." I turn to Tom, who's pulled out one of the books in the basket. "I hope you like your gifts too. I... wasn't completely sure what to get you, even though I asked."
"Oh, no, these are great," He replies, a small, appreciative smile on his face that makes me feel overwhelmingly relieved. He reaches into the basket and pulls out a small vial of cream. "What's this?"
"Oh, that's not really a Christmas gift, but I put it in there since I was going to give it to you anyway. It's for your fingers."
He cocks a brow. "My fingers?"
"Yeah. You told me yesterday you jammed them while playing volleyball, remember? When I used to play before the apocalypse, my coach would have us put those on our fingers when we jammed them in games. The creams supposed to be for arthritis pain, but it works great for this too."
He looks amused at this. "Jammed fingers isn't that big of a deal. I've been through a lot worse."
My smile becomes strained. "W-well, so have I, but it's better to try to relieve the little pains if we can rather than do nothing at all."
That's a bit rich, coming from me, since all I ever seem to say is 'I've been through worse', but I usually only say that for me, not everyone else. I've already got one friend that is hurting, and I can't do anything about it. Why is Tom trying to make it two?
An awkward silence falls onto us, and I can still feel the eyes of some of the other runners. I think I hear one whisper something about me. I don't hear if it's good or bad or not.
"Well, I uh, I suppose I'll just uh, let you enjoy your gifts," I say, taking a step back. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," They both reply, and I can feel their stares even as I turn around and head back to Sam. He's still talking to Maxine and Paula, but a few more people have joined the group. Runner Seventeen is there, along with Ashlynn from the kitchens and Amber, the operator who sometimes takes over when Sam's on rest break.
When I reach Sam, I lean down whisper in his ear, and he glances at me a bit curiously.
"I'm feeling kind of tired. I think I'm going to go back to the coms shack."
"I'll go with you," He replies immediately, but I shake my head.
"It's okay. You can stay and talk. I don't wanna take you away from-"
"It's fine." His voice is calm but firm as he stands. He tilts his head towards Adora, who's in his arms. "We need to get her to bed anyway. We can take her to the children's dorms and then get back to the coms shack." He leans in, a very confident smirk on his face. "And we still have to give each other our gifts, and you will not take away my satisfaction of getting to see your reaction when I give you yours."
•
I'm shivering when we finally make it back to the coms shack, and I rush to turn on our small heater before shedding my coat that is wet with snow. After I hang it up, I practically jump into the bed, grabbing the blanket and wrapping myself into it like a cocoon.
"You know you're going to have to free your arms to open your gift," Sam muses as he sheds his own coat.
"You open yours first. You didn't leave it at the party, did you?"
He holds it up for me to see. "As if I'd leave this."
"Well, go on then. Open it."
"Are you sure you want me to open mine first?" He takes a seat beside me, and I nod, scooting closer to him. I stretch out my arm so I can throw the blanket around his shoulders.
"Yes. Do it. Open it."
His clear laugh rings through the room, the sound mixed with the sight of his eyes closed and cheeks flushed from the cold leaving me breathless for a moment.
"Alright, alright." He starts gently removing the paper, not tearing into it since we have to save all wrapping paper nowadays. "With how much you seem to be hyping this up, you act as if it's-"
He stops short, his hands freezing in their movements for a brief moment. Only half of the wrapping paper has been removed, but it's enough to see the brown leather of the book and the gold engravings of "HOLY BIBLE" on it. In a flash he tears off the rest of the paper, eyes wide when he reads his name engraved at the bottom to show that it's his.
"I'm actually proud of myself for that. Made your name all pretty in cursive on the first try," I say, and there's a beat of silence before he speaks again.
"You got me a Bible."
"Yeah, I just... I don't mind sharing mine, but I thought you might want your own, ya know? And it's a study Bible, like mine, so there's notes at the bottom of the pages that explain things about certain passages, and it's the same version as mine so..." I trail off, shifting a bit nervously. "You... you like it, right?"
"Like it?" He repeats. "This is-it's-it's amazing!"
His laughter hits the air again as he sets the Bible beside him on the bed and pulls me into his arms, pressing warm kisses on the side of my face and causing me to squeal in laughter. When he pulls away, he has a large smile on his face.
"When did you get this? And you had my name engraved?"
I shrug. "While Peter doesn't have the best relationship with God, he was willing to distract you so Nicole could sneak into the coms shack and guide me to the nearest bookstore to get a Bible for you and some books for Tom. She made me get her a Bible as well. The store had tools to engrave names into leather books. I hope you like the gold coloring."
"Of course, I do!"
I giggle. "The only difference between yours and mine is this one has your name on it, is brown instead of black, and yours is in larger print."
"Larger print?" He repeats, tipping his head to the side, and I nod.
"Yep, since you don't like to wear your glasses," I nudge him and send him a glare that lacks heat, and he chuckles, "I thought that it might be less of a strain for your eyes if the print was bigger. You're welcome."
He leans in and kisses my forehead. "Thank you. And now, for your present."
He stands, and I watch curiously as he heads into the side room and comes back with a cardboard box, a fairly large one at that.
"What's that?" I ask, and he grins almost wickedly.
"Open it and see."
I stand up, letting the blanket fall onto the bed. I kneel down and start tearing at the tape on the box. "Why didn't you wrap it?"
"Didn't feel like it. Plus the box is blank so not wrapping it wouldn't reveal what's inside."
"True." After the tape is pulled off, I open the box, pulling out a dark blue blanket. "It's so pretty."
"You haven't pulled it all the way out yet."
I raise a brow, but he gives no explanation, so I continue to pull the blanket out. It's big enough to cover the whole bed, I think, although I notice there's parts of it that feels... stiff? I don't mention it to Sam, since I don't want him to think I dislike the gift, because I don't. The fabric itself is much softer than the main blanket we sleep with, and it's not worn or ripped, and the ends aren't frayed from too many washes.
"What-" I pause when I hear something hard smack against the inside of the cardboard box, and I pull the rest of the blanket out. There's something attached to it. "Is this a cord?"
Sam nods, bouncing slightly like an excited child. "Yep."
"I don't..." I pause, my mind connecting the dots when I notice the small buttons on a box attached to the cord. "Is this an electric blanket?"
Sam nods enthusiastically. "Yep."
My jaw drops in surprise. A second later I squeal and practically fling myself at him, much to his surprise and happiness. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
He has the cockiest grin I've ever seen him wear. "I take it that you also like your gift?"
"Yes! Best gift I've gotten this year! I'll never be cold again."
"Dramatic much?" He teases, and I roll my eyes. "Just don't set it on high and burn it out, okay? Also I don't want to feel like I'm burning alive."
"I won't," I say quickly. "I just-you are the absolute best!"
I lean in and kiss him, my hand cupping the side of his face. It's not really a proper kiss, since I can't stop smiling like an idiot. I'm still smiling when I pull away. "Thank you so much."
"I'd like to think this was the best apocalyptic Christmas yet."
I grin as I stand, picking up the blanket. I pick up Sam's Bible and hand it to him before throwing my blanket onto the bed. "It's up there, for sure. It's our first Christmas as a married couple, and I didn't die right before it, and I'm here for Christmas this year, since I missed Christmas and New Years that year I was mind controlled. So I mean, this year's been pretty good."
Sam grimaces. "I hate being reminded about that year. I don't think I could have celebrated if I'd wanted to. I was too worried about you. One of my saddest Christmases, honestly."
"I think my worst Christmas was at Mullins."
"Oh?" He asks in interest. "I always thought holidays at the A.M.T.B. would be the worst."
We both take a seat on the bed. "Usually they were, but at Mullins... It was the Christmas before I was sent to Abel. I... I'd worked really hard on getting a gift for Anna. She was the closest thing I had to a friend there. I'd done a few trades with some of the other runners to get her a nice pair of gloves for Christmas, but when I went to her dorm, she wasn't there. And she wasn't there when I went to the coms building either. Her desk was clear, everything gone.
"I found her brother, Josh, and asked him where she might be. He was upset, and-"
"He told you she left, didn't he?" He asks, his voice soft and sad.
I nod. "He didn't tell me where, just that she'd been relocated. I don't think he knew. I don't think he would have let it happen if he knew what they were going to do to her... I hate that he had to find out the way he did, with us exposing the Ministry and everything they've done."
"Did he ever try to contact you?"
I shake my head. "No. He didn't trust me. I didn't want to make things worse by trying to talk to him about Anna. But that Christmas, I was so upset that she'd left without even hinting about it. She didn't even say goodbye. I was so angry I threw the gloves away, which was stupid, since they were nice gloves and I could have used them, but I wasn't thinking rationally."
"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry." He reaches up and pushes a hair away from my face, and I grab his hand as he rests it against my cheek.
"It's okay. It wasn't Anna's fault, and I know that now. I just wish she hadn't died the way she did."
He nods, but still wraps an arm around me and pulls me close, and I lay my head on his shoulder. There are a few moments of quiet that passes between us.
"Thank you for the blanket," I whisper.
"Thank you for getting me my own Bible."
"I'm glad you like it. I like making you happy."
"Good to know," He replies, leaning against me, practically flopping us both onto the bed. "You want to know what would make me happy right now?"
"Hmm?"
"Us plugging up this blanket and then reading from my new Bible and then talking for a bit before we go to bed."
I crane my neck to look back at him. "I like that way you think."
"I know you do." He kisses my temple. "Even though you call me a dork."
"That's because you are one."
"And you're a Smart Alec."
I laugh. "I've never denied that."
"I know." He stands so he can plug in the blanket, and I giddily get under, practically shaking from excitement. Sam notices, of course. "I wonder how many brownie points I've earned from this gift."
"All of them. You've earned all the brownie points."
He snorts and grabs his Bible before climbing into bed with me. "I hope you know I'm going to remember that."
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. "You know, I'm kind of planning on it."
•
I silently curse myself for this.
Why am I doing this? I could be inside where it's warm, with Sam, with all my blankets.
I curse myself again for asking a question I already know the answer to. If I didn't do this, if I didn't at least check, then the guilt would eat me alive.
I don't plan on being out here too late, just enough to make sure they're okay, if they come out tonight.
I half hope they don't. I'd rather stand outside in the snow alone for an hour than know that they felt bad enough to come out here tonight on Christmas.
But my hopes are crushed when I see a figure leaning against one of the sheds, cigarette in hand. It's hard to see who it is in the shadows, but I have a guess. Though he doesn't look at me, his voice is calm when he speaks, suggesting he knew I was here before I came close to seeing him.
"Couldn't sleep?" He asks, and I blink in surprise.
"Oh, Tom."
"Thought it was Peter out here tonight?"
"I... yes. Well-"
"Because of what happened with you and Dr. Meyers at the sewage plant with Veronica?"
I stiffen. "How did you-"
"We both know how well Peter is at keeping secrets," He says, finally looking at me. The face he wears is neutral. "You know because of this he's going to be at Banktown even more."
I sigh, my gloved hands coming up to wipe my nose. "I know. He doesn't want to be around Abel, not when he's afraid of turning into... that."
"Are you?" He asks, and my eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"Am I what?"
"Are you afraid of turning into that?"
I look ahead and cross my arms. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to."
A low hum leaves his lips as he takes another drag of his cigarette. "I'm assuming that's why you were talking to Colonel Sage after he rescued you."
My head snaps over to him. "Wha-I didn't tell Peter about that. How would you-"
"Maxine. She said you asked to talk about him and didn't tell her what you talked about after meeting with him," He replies. "I know this is supposed to remain on the down-low for the sake of not scaring everyone, but the people you've entrusted with this information aren't the best secret keepers, you know."
I groan. "Ugh, fine, yes. I talked to Colonel Sage. What about it?"
"Well, you're very prideful-"
"Excuse me?" I ask in offense, and he deadpans.
"Let me finish. You're very prideful when it comes to asking for help. You don't like asking help for yourself, but you're more willing to do it when it comes to helping your friends."
"Okay?"
"So I thought there could only be two reasons for you to ask to speak to Sage the way you did, when you did. You either were going to ask him how to break this to Peter, or... you were going to ask him for help in trying to reverse your immortality."
I stare at him in shock. "I-"
"I wouldn't try to deny it. I know you a lot better than you think I do. Every time I tried to get you to go to Dr. Meyers or Dr. Cohen you refused because you didn't want them knowing the truth because you were afraid they would look at you differently. Sage doesn't see you any different because the two of you aren't friends. I know you've been trying to find some way to stop this. You hate it-"
"Of course I hate it," I snap. "I mean, immortality doesn't protect me from the zombies, it doesn't protect me from my main enemy. I don't know what would happen to me if a V-Type bit me, since unlike Peter I can't even survive a regular zom bite. I hate knowing that Van Ark succeeded in putting me through his experiments.
"I hate being something so powerful, being immortal, being a part of the freaking Feive Project, and yet I can barely protect my home or the people I care about." I sigh, close my eyes, and rub my temples. "I asked Sage for help and gave him information that I got from Veronica about Van Ark's experiments. I also told him about the nanites that was used on the zombie hand and how it reacted to that, so if he created something similar, he would keep that in mind. I don't think whatever caused that to happen is in me or Peter, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. He's already got some of his people working on something."
"Are you scheduled for a trial?"
I nod. "January 5th. They're going to take my blood and test the nanites on it first and give me something that they think will weaken my immunity so my body won't try to destroy the nanites before it can actually stop the cell regeneration."
"Do you think it will work?"
I shrug. "I don't know, but I've got to try. Peter is immortal and if he gets bitten-well, we've seen what happens. The same thing may happen to me if I get bitten. I have to try."
Tom looks ahead, his brow scrunching in thought. He finally nods. "I'll go with you. It might make things look less suspicious. We both know Jane will read the mission log, and since I'm assuming, she doesn't know you're-"
"She doesn't."
"Then she'll become suspicious if you stay there longer than the time it takes to make a trade and Peter tells her you weren't visiting with him. If someone else is there, I can talk with Peter while you get your testing done."
I blink, speechless over his offer. It takes me a good minute to find the words again. "Oh. I... Thank you, Tom."
He nods again. "While I do think you shouldn't be hiding this from Abel, I understand why. If I can't get you to tell the truth, then I can at least help you with getting some aspect of the job done. Once you're mortal, then you'll tell the others and give Peter his cure."
"That's the plan."
He takes another drag of his cigarette, smoke leaving his lips as he speaks. "I just hope it goes as smoothly as you plan."
A/N: Here you go, guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please be sure to vote and comment! Thank you and have a blessed day!