So here we are
I’m over here
and you’re over there
you’re looking absolutely beautiful today, as always; tell me, did you know that? Were you aware at just how beautiful you appear to the world? Or that you ARE my world?
Does anyone else see the way that the sunlight catches your hair, or notice that spark in your eye that catches fire every time you talk about what you love most?
Do they smile at that small skip in your step or laugh at the sheer boldness behind your words?
Perhaps they do…
Perhaps they do see the way the wind plays with your hair, and know that the birds sing just for you to hear.
But do they hear that small shift in your voice from time to time?
Do they see the sadness in your eyes even when you’re smiling?
Do they notice when your act cracks,
when your smile falls,
when the tears bud but never fall,
when you’re mask falls for just one small moment,
do they see that?
Even if they do, they don’t say a word.
They leave you to fight off your demons on your own.
“You’re beautiful” “your life is great”
“There’s no reason for you to be sad”
But you don’t see it
how could you?
No one can ever see how they look in the rest of the world’s eyes.
Everyone has insecurities of their own
But yet they still don’t understand how you don’t know
so whenever a comment slips out,
any small phrase showing how insecure and vulnerable you are
they drown you in compliments
or think you're seeking them out.
They’ll yell at you about the cuts on your wrists and thighs and stomach,
or coax you by claiming they understand how you feel
You think you can never win.
But that’s why I wrote this for you.
I wanted to show you that I can see you
I can really see you.
Your flaws and insecurities
Your beauty and passion
all of that together are you
It doesn’t matter if you can never see yourself the way I see you
Because I’ll never see myself the way you see me
we can give and take, together
we can help each other through
and even though this may be difficult for you to hear…
I love you.
I always will
that won’t change
No matter how much you push me away
I’ll always be here for you
the way you’ll always be in my mind.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel the same
it won't change my willingness to be here for you
I’ll let you cry on my shoulder
scream into the wind
rant about whatever
whenever you need
But I won’t try and tell you that I know how you feel
because I don’t
I may have had the same things happen to me
but that still doesn’t mean that I feel the same way about them.
But I’m still only writing
None of this to ever be spoken to you
I’ll say goodbye in my head as I watch you walk away.
From my place across the room
though it may as well be across the galaxy
Because no matter how broken you may see yourself
I will still never be able to come close to your scattered pieces
So goodbye again, my love
I only hope to see you again tomorrow
please make it that long
Give me one more chance to show you my love
to save you from your demons
I know I should stand
run over and stop you
hand you this wrinkled paper and tell you to read it
but I can’t…
My feet won't move
I can’t lift my body
….
I see you turn away from the crowd
I see your smile fall to a soft frown
I want to call out to you but my voice catches in my throat
You look over and catch my eyes
I can’t bring myself to look away.
soft pink touches your cheeks
before you smile and quickly look away.
And that’s how you remind me
No matter how far above me you seem
one of shards from your broken soul
has fallen right into my heart
You glance back only to find me still captivated by your light
is this a dream?
or are you actually walking towards me?
My stomach clenched and my throat runs dry
my face feeling like it could burn the sun
“Hi”
“Hey”
“what are you writing?”
“poetry”
“I love poetry; you should let me read your work sometime”
“Okay” I look from my wrinkled paper back into her shimmering eyes
“do you write?”
she nods
a stray hair falls from behind her ear, but she doesn’t fix it
instead she sits down across from me
“I don’t usually let anyone read it though”
I nod solemnly and look back down at my paper
“but, you’re not anyone”
I laugh lightly
“neither are you”
I push my paper across the table
her eyes flick downwards as she picks it up
her finger curl around the sides
and she begins to
read