january
octavia spent the most of her days at home. she took a break from school and had planned to redo her senior year when she returned to forks. she took up tutoring, volunteering for local schools and started a job at the diner nearby.
she kept herself busy but at night she was hurting. without the distractions, all she could think about was jacob. she left him countless of messages, constantly checking if he had replied but she hadn't heard from him since that night. she never spoke to the pack about him, so they never mentioned him either.
on january 14th, she sent him a long video of her wishing him a good birthday. in the video, she spoke about how she felt and that she was willing to try again, if he would just reply to her. she wanted to start from the beginning, as if they never met, as if it never happened. of course, there was no reply.
she started making these videos more often. once a week, she would record herself pouring her heart out to him and send them, hoping that he'd reply. she would talk about her day, how she was learning to ride motorbikes, how she couldn't bring herself near a pool anymore. then she would talk about that night.
"if i could jacob, i'd go back in time and i'd lay in your arms and you'd tell me that everything would be fine. you would run your hands through my hair and you'd whisper sweet things in my ear. you'd love me even with my flaws, and i'd love you and everything you bring." she fiddled with her fingers, "i want you jacob. i know it didn't work the first time but i'm willing to try again if you are. i'm willing to go through all that again if you want me to. jacob, i love you. i really do and it took me leaving to understand that i need you. please, if you want me too, please call me."
as always, there was no reply.
february
this was a rough month for octavia. she had a bit of a rebellious phase. she no longer felt sad, but angry. she was the one who had her heart broken so why was she the one who went crawling back?
she stopped sending videos but she would ring his number all the time, just to hear his voice again.
one day she woke up, angry and headed straight to the hair salon.
"just cut it." she told her regular stylist. she had her hair cut to shoulder length. this was a drastic change because normally her hair went down her back. when she was done, she looked at herself in the mirror. she needed more.
she sat back in the chair and said something to her stylist, who nodded and went in the back to go and get some equipment. she took a deep breath and smiled.
that night she went home, all giddy. she so happy with her decision and loved her new cut. she immediately rung leah.
"i've got a surprise." octavia giggled. she wasn't showing her face which got leah worried.
"don't tell me you got a face tattoo." she said sternly. octavia laughed again and put her head in the frame of the camera. leah gasped and looked closely, she squealed and said she loved it.
octavia stared at herself. not only did she get her hair cut but she got it dyed as well. it was now light brown with blonde highlights at her shoulders. this was a huge change from when she last saw leah.
"next time you're here, we're dying out hair together." leah smiled and she agreed, "by the way, sam and emily told me to tell you this. they're getting married on the 26th of june, so you better be there!"
octavia smiled widely. her brother and emily were madly in love so she was very excited for them, "i'll be back three weeks before the wedding." she grabbed her laptop, already looking for flights.
"and you'll stay?" leah asked.
"i will stay."