~Birthday~
LANI POV
August second Kilos birthday
We were in LA for Kilo's birthday. He's out right now doing business. But we were going to dinner. The last few weeks have been the same. We just acted like a couple. Had sex and did a couple's shit. We never got to talk since I fell down the stairs. He hasn't brung it up either. But tonight I will. We haven't said I love you yet or anything like that. I really don't know what to feel. He's been gone working. Having emergencies with the mafia. He told me he'd start taking time off to spend with me.
I also have been feeling sick lately. Madison said I could be pregnant but I doubt that. She had a couple of pregnancy tests since she and Riccardo are together. They have been dating for weeks now. Ever since we left LA she says they started sneaking around. She kept it a secret because she figured I would be mad. She's my bestie I'm happy she's with him.
"I'm scared," I told her. I can't bring a baby into this world and I'm only eighteen. Yes, I want a family but Kilo has become more involved in this mafia business than he ever has before. Imagine bringing a baby into that. I barely know what Kilo does. I don't want my son/ daughter involved in that.
"Girl don't be scared it's a chance you're not," she said trying to calm me down. I don't think I'm ready. And how would Kilo feel about this? I mean would he be mad or happy. I know one thing. I don't believe in abortion and if I'm pregnant and he doesn't like it well I'm leaving. I know that's harsh but no. Abortion is not an option for me.
I took the test and we waited. Gosh, this is killing me. My legs were shaking and I was getting" sweaty. Madison picks it up and smiles. "Girl your preggy," she says, and my heartaches.
I should be happy right. I mean part of me is but then the other part of me is worrying. I was getting out of breath. Fuck. I could be putting stress on the baby thinking like this. I drank some water and calmed down.
"I will tell him tonight," I say to her and she was so happy.
I lay down on the couch. Gosh, I'm eighteen and pregnant. Who would have thought? We only had sex when he had a condom and or when I wasn't ovulating. So what went wrong. Did he get the days wrong? Or maybe he was trying to get me pregnant.
I rub my belly. If it's a girl I will name it Alicia Alexandra Paris-Valentino. Alexandra was Kilos's mother's name. Aria was his little sister's name and I also love it. If it's a boy it would probably be a junior. But I don't want my kids in the mafia. That shouldn't even be a conversation.
"What do pregnant people even eat?" I ask Madi
"I don't know," she says
"I know I can't eat seafood"
"That's a bummer," she says laughing.
It is I love sushi.
I lay down and fall asleep.
"Girl wake up you have a dinner date with your hubby," Maidson says shaking me and I get up.
"This baby got me sleepy," I say and she laughs.
"That baby needs to eat," she says helping me stand up. Sometimes I still had back problems and I have a doctor's appointment in two days.
I walk upstairs carefully and grab a dress. Soon I won't be able to fit in these clothes. Kilo picked out a dress for me. A blue long mermaid dress. Gosh, he picks out the most beautiful things.
The dress surprisingly fit and I was happy to see Kilo. He comes and picks me.
"Baby you look beautiful," he says kissing me on the cheek.
"Thanks," I said.
We arrive at the restaurant and sit down.
I looked at the menu and it was mostly seafood. Shit. I could tell him now and we could go somewhere else. Or I could just order something else.
"What do you want babe?" he aks
"Ummm, I'll have a chicken salad supreme with um."
"Is there something wrong?" he asks concerned.
"No no, I just don't want any seafood"
he laughs "What are you pregnant?"
I laugh. I wanted to say yes. But I couldn't the words wouldn't come out my mouth. I was scared of his reaction I was too damn scared to say it
"I'll have some garlic bread"
"We can go somewhere else if you like?"
"NO no it's your birthday babe," I say smiling at him. Gosh, he is so sweet. Just say it. Just spit it out and make it quick. I was shaking under the table and I couldn't stop. Gosh, I don't know when the last time I was this scared to fucking says two words.
"I-" he looks at me and I smile.
"So I know before I got into that accident you wanted to talk"
KILO POV
"Yea," I said looking at her. She was hiding something. I could tell. She was shaking and not making eye contact with me. I don't understand why she was so nervous and shaky.
"I just wanted to lay out all the cards," I say referring to who I am and what I really do.
"Ok," she says.
"I don't want you to see me as some bad person," I say looking at her.
"I don't," she says looking concerned.
I am a bad person. I admit that but she can't see that. I don't want her thinking I just kill people and I do some kind of bad shit.
"I don't just kill people," I said and she finally looks at me.
"Only people who deserve it like Jones"
"You- you killed Jones," she says and I nod my head. He kidnapped her I had too. I had no choice but to make him pay. It was around the time I started to develop these feelings for Kehlani id dint know what he was doing.
"Ohh, she says in a low voice.
"So you don't kill innocent people?" She asks nervously
"No baby."
She sighs in relief and I do too.
"What else does the mafia do?" she aks
"Well we make money and help our country?"
"How do you make money?" she said asking scared.
"We take on hits and-" before Ic ould finished she gasped.
"You're a hitman?"
"No," I say looking at her crazy. She sighs in relief. "And like I said only people who deserve it"
"Ok so your guys kill only bad people," she asks
"Yes only bad people," I say to her again
"It doesn't seem so bad."
"It's not you could meet everyone one day," I say.
"Yea," she said shyly
We headed home and went right to sleep.
LANI POV
Today was the day of my doctor's appointment. I was still having back problems and I needed to know what was wrong. They are taking blood tests and X-rays. Gosh, I just hope they don't bring up the pregnancy. I still haven't told Kilo. I only found out a couple of days ago.
I tried to tell Kilo I could go to the doctors by myself but he wouldn't listen. He thinks I'm hurt seriously because I have been sleeping a lot.
We arrive at the doctor's office and she takes my blood and does X-rays on my back.
"Well Mrs.Valentino you have a small back strain and I recommend sleeping on your back" she says.
I never sleep on my back and I can't now because I'm pregnant. "What do you mean sleep on my back," I say annoyed.
"Oh right congratulations, your around five weeks pregnant," she says. I tried to stop her but she didn't catch on.
Kilo looks at me pissed. "Suprise," I say nervously. Fuck. I should have told him.
"What the hell Kehlani," he says pissed.
"I'm sorry I tried to tell you at dinner but I was too scared"
"Scared of what?" he said yelling
"Stop yelling at me," I say now getting mad.
"There's nothing to be scared of," he said shaking his head.
"Yes, there is," I said walking up to him.
"What?" he looks at me confused
"Your don of the Italian mafia did you forget that?" I said raising my voice.
"So," he says clueless.
"I won't bring my daughter or son into that kind of life," I say looking at him crazy.
"What are you asking me Kehlani?" he says with hurt in his eyes.
"Nothing, I just don't want my kids involved in that mafia life."
"You know the rules babe," he says with an angry tone
"What rules?" I asked confused.
"That baby is also my offspring it will be the next generation of-" he said but I cut him off.
"Are you crazy Kilo? I will not bring my children into that lifestyle," I yell at him.
"I don't give a fuck," he says and My heart snapped.
Tears formed in my eyes and this is exactly what I feared. Him wanting our kids to be in the mafia. Him wanting to bring a child into that kind of world. The mafia is way more than he explained the other day he just didn't want to scare me.
"No no no this baby will not be involved," I say crying.
"He/she will and even if I didn't want the child to be involved it doesn't have a choice"
"What?" I say as I stop crying.
"I didn't make the rules baby," he says and I cry again.
"Well change them" I yell at him.
"I can't," he says.
This is why I was so so scared and why I couldn't tell him. I knew this was coming. I knew this would happen. The Mafia is his life of course his kids would have to be involved.
I grab my purse. I was not dealing with this shit today. I should have kept him home.
I try to walk out but he roughly grabs me. I take a deep breath.
"Kehlani there's nothing I can do,"
"Right. Your the don and your telling me there's nothing you can do, even if there isn't you want this," I said snatching my arm back."You ask me what I wanted, that you would have it my way" I said sniffing. "I don't want my kids involved that's all I ask,"
"Wait Kehlani," he grabs my arms and pulls me into him. "I'm -I'm in love with you," he says out of nowhere struggling to get his words out.
He what? No Kilo is not capable of love. I don't understand how he was capable of liking me. He has to be fucking playing right now? Right?
I wasn't even sure if I loved him back. Kilo always does something to fuck up. He really just told me he wants our kids to be in the mafia and now he's telling me he loves me.
His grip on my arm was tight. "You're hurting me," I say looking at him. He lets go. "If you love me you would understand how I fucking feel right now," I say backing up.
"You want kids in the mafia you go marry somebody else," I say walking away.
"Kehlani," I hear him call my name and I stop. I turn around and he walked up to me.
"I'm sorry your right," he says actually agreeing with me for the first time.
"I'll see what I can do," he says hugging me. I was relieved. Gosh, he better see what he can do. Bringing a child into that is not ok. Not one bit.