My hand is trembling as I sit again in front of the mirror, at the dresser. As usual, Paul is next to me. But now, I'm not in my house nor Ella's studio.
Right now, I'm in the fucking dressing room of the hotel where my wedding will be taking place.
Yes, today, this morning, I will be married to Lucas Klein. I can't believe how time has flown so fast.
Today, I'm a bride.
I'm wearing a long white wedding gown that has a deep V cut at the back. A beautiful lace pattern fully covers my arms and the sides of the dress, stopping at my waist, while the rest of the gown is just clean white down to the ground.
My hair is styled in a braided bridal updo.
"You look stunning. Gorgeous. Breathtaking," Paul can't stop complimenting me since he finished putting on my make-up, which he made natural and elegant. "Wait until Luke sees you. I wouldn't blame him if he's too speechless to utter the vow."
But Paul's words don't make me feel any better. In fact, it makes me feel even more nervous. Will I really exchange vows with that man today?
I know that our marriage is a contract between us, but it doesn't mean that I haven't forgotten how sacred the word is.
Marriage. It's supposed to happen between two lovers who are willing to promise each other their lives. Not us. Not like this. Clearly, I think of it as a joke, and I'm going to take a vow of something that I don't mean. In front of the priest. In front of the world.
Thankfully, our wedding will not be aired live, but parts of it will definitely be aired in a few days on national television.
This is crazy. I don't even have any family to go through this with me now.
Someone knocks on the door, which is then opened, revealing Peter.
"Cassie, it's about time. Are you ready?" He approaches me but then frowns when he sees my condition.
I keep fidgeting. Peter and Paul look at each other, sharing a worried look.
"Did you see Morgan?" I ask, my voice shaking.
Why the hell am I even asking about her? Most likely, she won't come. Not when I used this marriage to kick her out of her job.
Peter shakes his head sadly, signaling that the answer is negative. I know it, but still, that fact makes tears form in my eyes.
Yes, I wanted to kick her out of my career so that she could stop exploiting me. But I didn't mean to kick her out of my life. In fact, I did that because I wanted her back in my life.
Suddenly, her words echo back in my ears, "I didn't love your father when I married him."
My breath catches in my throat, and I swallow the lump in it. Will I only repeat what she has done?
I'm no different from her. I'm just the same. I'm about to marry a man that I don't love. This is the start of something very wrong.
I choke, "I can't do this." I look at Paul and Peter in horror, and the expression on their faces after they hear my words is even worse.
They look bloody frightened.
"Cassie, darlin'." Paul's voice is pleading.
He steps closer to me, but I abruptly get up from the dresser bench and pace around, panicky.
"No," I stutter. "I can't do this. I won't do this."
God, what am I doing? All the guests must have arrived by now, and I'll be the nation's biggest joke if I cancel this wedding, which is supposed to be the biggest event this year.
But I can't do it.
Even if I do walk down that aisle, my legs will shake so hard—I'll collapse and embarrass myself. People will laugh at me nonstop—it will be aired on CNN. Oh, gosh.
"Cassie..." The colors on Peter's face drain as the sight of me about to cancel my own wedding strikes him like thunder in the middle of bright daylight.
The poor guy has been coordinating with the organizers to prepare the most phenomenal wedding this year, only to find that the bride is about to run away.
I clench my fists tight at my sides, my vision starting to get blurry with tears. Paul approaches me, while I catch sight of Peter abruptly calling someone.
"Cassie," Paul says, holding my shoulders firmly. "You can do this. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be okay. This is the best decision you've made to make everything better. To save everything you've been working hard for. To save yourself."
From Morgan.
Yes, I know that I'm doing this to survive. It's just human nature to do so. But then, how can Paul say so when he was also against this wedding in the first place?
Someone else steps into the room, making me snap my head toward them. Oscar is now standing by the door. He flashes a smile but then freezes when he sees me and the mess we're all in.
I'm still shaking. "I can't." Letting out a shaky breath, I shake my head in denial. "I don't even think that I can walk down the aisle." My legs feel so weak, like they're about to collapse anytime soon.
Oscar approaches me with a concerned look. "You don't have to walk down the aisle alone. I'll be by your side."
His words touch my heart. The plan was to walk down the aisle alone because Dad's gone and Morgan wasn't going to come, and I haven't thought of anyone else.
But then, even though Oscar isn't a father figure to me, he's someone dear to me. He's been with me through the ups and downs of my life, guiding me along the way.
Honestly, I couldn't have asked for someone better, and I appreciate his effort to support me during this difficult time. Now, I regret underestimating the weight of my decision to get married. It isn't until right at this moment that I become paranoid.
Another movement from the door startles me, and my eyes widen in shock. Now I know why Peter suddenly called someone.
Luke is standing there, anger radiating from his body. There's a split second when he seems starstruck as he stares at me, but then he strides toward me, his jaw tight.
Wait. What is he doing here? Aren't the groom and bride not supposed to see each other before the wedding starts?
But of course, which groom wouldn't if he just heard that his bride was going to run away from him?
Oh, shit.
I'm in big, big trouble.