She coughed and spluttered as she apparated into her living room. It had used up all of her energy and she was sure to collapse any second. The disapparition had disoriented her and she stumbled onto a coffee table, causing several candles to crash onto the floor.
The noise had alerted people in the kitchen and they all rushed to meet the intruder head on. Ast looked up to find four wands pointed right at her face, for a second she thought she had been caught. Only then when she realised who they were she relaxed.
Remus almost didn't recognise her. She was so small and pale. Her hair was matted and blood was clumped to her face and body. Her clothes were ripped and bruises were covering her entirety. She let out an almighty cough, causing blood to spew onto her hands. Remus had never seen Ast look so broken.
Lily was the first to reach her, followed by James. They each brought her up to her feet and asked what had happened. They directed her to a sofa and Sirius gave her a goblet of water. Remus stood in the same place, feeling helpless at the sight of her. He felt guilty, like it had been his fault she was kidnapped. If he had offered to go instead of her; none of this would've happened.
Once Ast had downed the whole goblet of water and taken a few breaths, she opened her mouth to talk. She explained what had happened; from the moment she was kidnapped to when she escaped. Everyone gasped when she described what they had done to her there.
Lily hugged her afterwards, offering to get her anything she needed.
"All I need, Lily," Ast said in a raspy voice. "Is a bath and a good nap."
Lily and James offered to run her bath so they disappeared upstairs. Sirius was sitting next to Ast, his eyes were surveilling every cut and bruise on her face.
With tears in her eyes, Ast turned to him. "I now know how horrible they were, your family."
His face broke as he held her closely to him. He wanted to know why it had to be her. Why didn't he volunteer to go in her place?
"You're home now, sweetheart." Sirius said, cupping her face in his hands.
Lily and James came back down, announcing that her bath was ready. Ast shakily stood up and held onto Remus as support as both of them made their way upstairs. He helped her undress and she sat in the warm water.
Remus inspected her body, there were far more cuts and bruises with her clothes off.
"What did they do to you?" He whispered.
"Horrible things," she breathed.
Remus cleaned her wounds for her while she sat in the bath, gazing at him the whole time. He washed the blood and dirt away from her skin while washing her hair to get rid of its greasiness.
Ast began crying, "I thought you wouldn't come."
Remus stopped washing her hair.
"What?" He asked.
"They were telling me you were never coming."
"I didn't know where to find you. You were gone from the face of the earth. Trust me, I searched everywhere."
"Do you hate me?"
He looked into her eyes in bewilderment. "How could I hate you?"
"Because of what I've put you through. And you could be in danger just because you're with me. And-"
Remus silenced her with a kiss.
"You're home now. You're safe. They won't hurt you as long as we're here to protect you. Now c'mon, you need rest."
Remus helped her dry off and change into pyjamas. Together, they walked to their bedroom and Ast laid in the bed. Remus crawled in next to her. She dozed off to sleep on his chest while he stroked her hair.
She was finally free.
*****
The rain pressed down on the window. Ast lifted her finger up and traced the droplets as they fell down. She still ached a bit, not as much as she used to. She hugged her knees close to her chest and rested her face on the cool window.
It had been a month since she escaped from that cellar. It crept into her dreams, pulling her back down into its darkness. The countless cruciatus curses had taken a toll on her body. It was too weak, too frail. She couldn't move the way she used to. It was a miracle that she wasn't dead. That would've been better anyway. She felt like a burden on everyone else. She couldn't even look after herself.
She didn't know why Remus still looked after her, she thought he hated her. That it was all her fault, she didn't listen to his warnings and she had to pay the price. They should've just left her there, to rot and be forgotten. She didn't talk much, it drained too much energy.
She remembered eating bread and water, she remembered the smell. She remembered the curses. The pain. But she couldn't remember what she did with herself during the time she was there.
Ben loved her, that was the whole reason why she was there in the first place. All because of some petty jealousy that nearly ended up with her getting killed.
Someone knocked on the door and opened it. Remus came in. She hadn't talked to him much, purely because of the guilt. She'd rather him leave her alone, with her intrusive thoughts.
"James and Lily have gone into hiding," he said.
Her head turned to fully face him, "oh,"
He came and sat down next to her on the windowsill. He looked tired, dark rings had formed under his eyes. She guessed she wasn't the only one with sleepless nights. She was beginning to lose her trust in him after what Voldemort said to her. His words stuck in her mind, manipulating her thoughts. Sometimes she wondered whether he was right, sometimes she completely hated everyone.
Her mind felt exposed, she felt like everyone read her thoughts. It was torture. Back in the cellar, sometimes she would merely think negatively of Voldemort or Ben and they'd crucio her.
"Asteria," Remus said, his voice was trying to sound comforting. "Are you alright, love?"
Love. The word burned a hole in her mind. Did he really love her? Or was everything just an act? What if everyone was just acting?
His eyes stared into hers, seeking answers. She gave him a mere shrug, she didn't want to talk about it. He held her hand and gave it a little pat.
"You know I'm always here for you right?" He says.
She nodded.
"And that I'll always love you?"
She nodded again. His face fell, as if expecting her to reply.
"I'm sorry," she said, "for everything I've caused-"
"Hey hey hey, don't start this again." Remus brought his hands to her cheeks and kissed her lips. "You've always helped me with my transformations, let me help you this once."
*****
Months had gone by, and Ast had gotten better. The nightmares still tormented her but by now it seemed like they were going to take permanent residence in her dreams. She didn't visit the Order much anymore, she just stayed at home and looked after Iris.
Something seemed off though, like she was waiting for the next disaster to strike. Peter had been acting weird. He still rarely attended meetings. What really confused her was why the Death Eaters didn't take Peter too, they just left him there, not even giving him a second glance. Ast had also been growing suspicious of Dumbledore but she couldn't quite place it. He always said that they could trust him, but whenever they did, something went wrong.
James and Lily had asked Ast to be their secret keeper, but she refused. The Death Easters would know it was her. For what she knew, Sirius was still the secret keeper.
"Happy Halloween!" Sirius said as she entered the kitchen.
"Happy Halloween, Pads," she greeted.
"What's wrong with my little Vix?" He asked, putting his arm around her.
"Do you feel like something's just going to go wrong? Like we've been building up to something horrible?"
"Yeah I have actually. Well, at least you're up from your nap, I've been meaning to go for a run."
"Pads, it's like nine p.m,"
"Who said you can't go for a run at night?"
"Well no one, but isn't it late?"
"It's never too late for a run princess, c'mon get your shoes on and meet me down here in five."
She groaned, "You sound like Prongs."
She headed back upstairs to change into her workout gear. Sirius had been forcing her to go outside on an hour-long run everyday. Apparently he wanted to get into shape and since Remus had managed to evade him he dragged Ast out to run or go to the muggle gym instead. Ast wasn't going to lie, she was seeing a difference. Working out wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. At least it took her mind off things.
She met Sirius downstairs and they headed off into the night. They started off on a slow pace then gradually went faster.
"Race you to the top of the street," he challenged.
"You're on, Black," she said.
They ran all the way up the street, it was a steep incline so they had to work twice as hard. Sirius beat her by only a few seconds. She gasped for air as she bent over, hands on her knees.
"Not bad," he said, lightly hitting her shoulder.
"Not so bad yourself," she panted.
She straightened up and looked around. It was a small town, everyone seemed to know each other. Their house was right on the outskirts so it was a bit of a trek if they needed to head into town. Ast didn't think that there were any other wizards there, they must've been the only ones. She took a look at her surroundings, the bright sign of 'Granger's Dentistry' was blazing into the night.
There were still some kids trick or treating, dressed up in costumes. Iris had gone out with the Weasleys to go trick or treating, she had gotten friendly with their son Charlie so Arthur had offered to take her with them. Ast spotted a few children dressed up as witches and wizards and she smiled to herself. A group of what looked like twelve year olds walked up to Ast and Sirius.
"Trick or treat," A boy dressed as a mummy said.
Sirius pretended to think, his wand was outstretched behind his back. "Let's see...Treat!"
He held out the sweets that had magically appeared and shoved them into the kids' bags. They stared at him in awe. One, however, was eyeing their attire.
"What's your costume supposed to be?" The kid asked.
"We're a witch and wizard," Ast said.
"You don't look like one."
"That's because we need to stay hidden," Ast explained.
"You're lying, my mummy told me magic doesn't exist."
"Did she now?"
At the same time, a frog had appeared inside the kid's sweet bag. The kid screamed and ran away. The others laughed.
"Thank you!" They said.
They walked off and Sirius turned to Ast.
"They've got a great pretzel stand down at the park,"
"I thought you wanted to keep fit," she teased.
"Well one couldn't hurt. Just a little treat in honour of the best time of year."
They walked down to the park and Ast bought each of them a pretzel. They sat down on one of the benches and devoured their pretzels as they watched the ducks swim in the lake.
"It's a shame Prongs and Flower couldn't come, Harry would've loved this." Sirius said, gazing out at the dark lake.
"This will blow over soon," Ast said, holding Sirius's hand.
He sighed. Ever since the Potters had gone into hiding, Sirius didn't know what to do with himself. It was as if he lost his other half. He busied himself with whatever he could in the order just like Ast and Remus. They were all praying for the war to be over soon.
"Where's Remus again?" He asked.
"He's on duty," she answered.
"Oh, he's not spending Halloween with you?"
"We're all busy Sirius, I don't have the time like I used to."
"But we might not have much time left."
"What do you mean?"
"Things are changing, you know it. What if this is the last time I see you?"
"We live together," she said, batting away his question. "I have to see you everyday."
Once they were done, they began walking back home. They walked past a group of people, they were wearing long cloaks and Ast couldn't help but wonder if they were wizards.
"-You-Know-Who is gone!" One of them excitedly said.
Sirius and Ast stopped dead in their tracks and turned to the group.
"What?" Ast asked.
"He's gone!" The person said again, shaking her hand with a broad smile plastered on their face. "All because of Harry Potter!"
Her heart dropped. "What do you mean?"
"Harry Potter is our hero! He's only a year old and he stopped Voldemort! What a shame that his parents lives had to be sacrificed though."
"WHAT?" Sirius yelled.
"James and Lily Potter, they died stopping him."
Sirius and Ast exchanged a defeated look before disapparating. They landed in their kitchen. Remus was sitting on the floor, tears falling down his face.
A few hours earlier
In the small town of Godric's Hollow, a family of three were resting at home. They seemed to be the only ones not enjoying the Halloween festivities. James took a sip of tea, the last of the trick or treaters had finally gone. Harry was finally in bed, it had been a hassle getting him to sleep.
"Do you think we should introduce Harry to the Weasleys?" Lily asked.
James looked at her in confusion, "what do you mean?"
"Well they've got a son, Ron I think his name is, he's the same age as Harry."
"Oh that would be a good idea, as long as Iris is far away from Harry."
Lily laughed at the memory of Iris reeking havoc with the Weasley children. She missed the Nott sisters, especially Ast. Lily was upset that she couldn't be there for Ast after her kidnapping. She was upset that she couldn't see anyone other than Peter. She still wished Sirius was their secret keeper, at least he was more fun.
The garden gate creaked open and Lily looked at James, fear taking over her face. No one knew where they lived, except for Peter and Bathilda, that must've meant...
James's face dawned in realisation as he looked out the window. "Lily, it's him! Take Harry and run! I'll hold him off!"
"But-" Lily began.
"There's no time! Just go!"
They ran out of the living room, Lily stopped at the foot of the stairs while he made his way to the front door. He didn't have his wand on him.
He turned to Lily with fear in his eyes, "I love you."
"I love you too."
James stood ready. He was willing to sacrifice himself, knowing that his wife and child were going to make it out alive. He was giving time for them to escape and be safe.
Lily ran up the stairs and into Harry's room. He was asleep and she had to wake him up. She heard the front door open, a blast, and then a body falling to the ground. She paused, James...
Lily heard footsteps walk up the stairs and it snapped her back into reality. She lifted Harry up and cradled him in her arms, it was too late to run.
"Harry. Harry, you are loved. You are so loved. Harry, Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Harry, be safe. Be strong." She whispered as she placed him back into his crib.
Tears were steaming down her face now. How dare he. How dare Peter betray them. How dare he let James get killed. She wished she never switched them. Sirius would have never done this. Nor would Ast. And now, her and her baby boy were going to get killed.
Voldemort came into the room.
"Please not Harry! Please not Harry!" Lily begged.
"Move over you silly girl!" He yelled, pointing his wand at Lily.
"No! Please not Harry!"
"I said move over!"
Lily protectively stood in front of Harry's crib. "No!"
His wand was still pointed at her, "Avada Kedavra!"
The last thing she saw was a green flash of light. It hit her and everything went black.
Present
Ast sank onto the floor next to Remus. "No, it... it can't be,"
He didn't reply.
James and Lily were dead.
James, the first person she talked to at Hogwarts. James, who always had a smile on his face. James, who always played pranks. James, who always looked after her. James, who always made sure that Remus was okay after a transformation. James, who always talked about Lily and Harry, who always talked about them with love.
Lily, the kindest person she had ever met. Lily, who would shut criticism down with just a simple look. Lily, who was one of the smartest in their year. Lily, who loved them like family. Lily, the one who was always the first to forgive. Lily, who always managed to know what was wrong without even asking.
Her best friends were gone. Her best friends who left their only son behind.
"Remus... What about Harry?" She asked.
He shrugged. "Dumbledore's got him."
Ast shook her head, stumbling as she stood up.
"No... No."
She disapparated and found herself at Privet Drive. She saw two figures towards the end of the street, so she made her way over to them. McGonagall and Dumbledore were standing in front of a lawn. McGonagall pulled her into a hug.
"I'm so sorry, Asteria. They were truly, very good people." She said, stroking Ast's face.
Ast pulled away and wiped her eyes. "Dumbledore, you can't leave him here."
"They're the only family he has left," he said.
"They won't love him!"
"I'm sorry Asteria,"
"I- I'm his godmother!"
"I'm quite aware of that."
McGonagall walked away from the two, towards a light in the distant sky that was seeming to grow bigger and bigger.
"So let me have him, Dumbledore." She said.
"He needs to be safe, it's what's best for him."
"I think what's best for you is for me to let me take care of my godson. You wouldn't want people knowing the real reason behind my kidnap now would you?"
Something flashed across Dumbledore's face. For the first time in a while, it was fear.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said.
"Oh I think you do, you sent those Death Eaters out to get me didn't you? You thought that maybe by giving me to Voldemort, the war would be on hold."
"You're- you're making things up."
"Don't underestimate me, Dumbledore. I know these little games you're playing. So I'll say it again, let me have Harry, or my story will be in the Daily Prophet tomorrow for everyone to see."
"Fine, Hagrid is on his way."
Ast smiled triumphantly. People always tended to underestimate her, never really knowing how capable she was. Oh how stunned they were whenever they found out.
A revving sound was heard and they both turned towards the source of the noise. The light was moving closer in the night sky. It came closer until it landed on the road next to them. Hagrid arrived, riding Sirius's motorbike.
"Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Asteria." Hagrid greeted solemnly.
"There's been a change of plans, Hagrid." Dumbledore said with much regret. "Asteria will be taking Harry."
"Oh how wonderful!" McGonagall said, unaware of the conversation that had previously happened.
Hagrid breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness, he'll be in good hands."
Hagrid passed a sleeping Harry over to Ast and she held him tight. Her heart broke when she saw him. She was going to do the best she could to give him a happy childhood.
When Ast arrived back at home. It was quiet but she could hear crashing sounds coming from the kitchen. She held Harry protectively and walked towards the kitchen door. Inside, Remus was smashing everything he could see and angry tears were streaming down his face. Sirius was nowhere to be seen.
"Where's Sirius?" Ast asked, shielding Harry's head from flying pieces of China and glass.
"Ma-mama," Harry called out, pulling her hair.
Remus looked at her in distress. "I- I don't know. He's gone."
The streets were mainly empty. Sirius knew exactly who he was looking for. He saw a short person tearing through the streets and Sirius failed him.
He cornered Peter, pushing him into an alleyway. Peter looked around helplessly.
"I trusted you! And you betrayed us!" Sirius yelled.
"What would you do? He threatened my life!" Peter said.
"I would've died!"
"I had to do it,"
Sirius noticed him pulling his wand out, so he do it too.
"You were behind Asteria's kidnapping too weren't you?" He demanded.
Peter didn't speak.
"Weren't you!" Sirius yelled.
"He wanted her gone, she was his biggest threat."
"Well he's gone now, your master is dead!"
He lifted his wand. "What do you want?"
"I want to kill you! That's what I want!"
The next thing Sirius knew, the wall exploded. There was debris everywhere and bodies were laying dead on the floor.
Peter was nowhere to be found.
*****
Ast could barely get out of bed the next day. The only thing that motivated her to was the knocking on the front door. She mindlessly stomped down the stairs to see who was there. She pulled the door open and a mop of red and brown greeted her.
She was pulled into a hug and muffled voices flew around her. The thing pulled back, revealing two people. Jade and Molly Weasley.
"Asteria, I'm so sorry," Molly said, gently patting her shoulder.
Ast shrugged. "I don't know what to do."
"We have some er... news." Jade said, biting her lip.
"Come in," Ast pushed the door open.
They followed her inside and sat on the sofa. Asteria looked at them expectantly. Molly pulled out a copy of the Daily Prophet. Sirius's face was on one of the pages.
Sirius Black, 21, has been sent to Azkaban prison for murder. Black, You-Know-Who's top man, has been sent to prison for the murder of thirteen people; twelve muggles and his bestfriend, Peter Pettigrew. Black was also the secret keeper of the Potter's which led to their betrayal and death. Black has been sent to a high security prison for life. He was-
Ast cast the paper to the side and digested the new information.
It couldn't be true. Sirius betraying his best friends, killing Peter and becoming a Death Eater? It just didn't make sense. She remembered his boggart being him with the dark mark, he was terrified of becoming one of them. Something wasn't right.
"He... He can't have," she mumbled.
Molly and Jade exchanged a glance.
"He must've, who else would've done it?" Molly asked.
Ast took a deep breath. She felt empty. James and Lily were gone and she was left with Harry. Peter was dead because of Sirius. She had lost almost everything in one night. Remus would be devastated at the news.
"Iris can stay with me until you and Remus recover," Molly offered.
"Could she?"
"Yes, she's a pleasure to have around."
"And I could look after Harry for a few days," Jade also offered.
"Thank you," was all Ast managed to say.
Tears started spewing out of her eyes without any warning. She had lost track of the amount of times she'd cried in the last 24 hours. Jade and Molly immediately rushed over and comforted her.
They should be celebrating, Voldemort was dead. But at a cost, a heavy cost. Oscar, her parents, Dorcas, Marlene, James, Lily and now Peter. None of them deserved to die. It should've been Ast, the one Voldemort was after all along. It should've been her and no one else would've had to die.
Jade and Molly left a while later, bringing Harry with them. Iris stayed the night at the Weasley's so she was already there. Ast waited until Remus was awake before breaking the news to him. He sat in silence, taking everything in.
Finally after minutes of painful silence, he said, "None of this would've happened if you agreed to become secret keeper."
His words hit her like a bullet.
"I didn't know that this would've happened." She said defensively.
"You told me yourself that you should've done it. You're the reason their gone."
"You're right."
He looked up at her, "No, I... I didn't mean it like that."
Ast bit back tears, "yeah you did."
She stood up but he grabbed her wrist. She pulled it free from his grasp.
"Ast, I'm sorry."
"I'm leaving for a while."
She pulled her coat on but Remus tried to stop her. She pushed him away and disapparated. Leaving him alone at home.
A/N: I'm so sorry.