Chanyeol: Can we talk? Please?
You had been rereading that message for nearly 7 hours now. At first, you were surprised he texted you, and then you were annoyed. You were so beyond over the drama. You just had to decide if that meant you were over Chanyeol also. Never responding to the text, you were surprised when another two pop in an hour later.
Chanyeol: I know I keep fucking up, and that maybe I don't deserve you in my life but let me explain everything to you.
Chanyeol: If you're willing to hear me out... Meet me at the park in an hour. I'll wait for you.
You glance up at the clock after you read the last message. 7:05 P.M. Was this going to be it? Were you finally going to get down to the bottom of this? Or were you going to make up for a couple of days and then have some more bullshit happen? You really didn't think you could be tugged along anymore.
You sat on the couch and thought about what you would even say to him if you saw him. You also debated for a long time if you would even go. When you next glance up at the clock, it was already 8:15 P.M. Over an hour had passed. Was he there waiting for you like he said he'd be? After arguing with yourself, you decide to go and hear him out. Throwing on a hoodie, you head for the door, wondering to yourself just how long he'd be willing to wait for you.
By the time you got to the park, it was 8:28 P.M. A half an hour later than he said. You took note of the fact that it was slightly chilly and wished you had grabbed something warmer than a hoodie. You almost felt bad for making him wait. Almost.
When you finally find him, he's sitting on a swing, rocking it slightly. You look at his back for a moment before finally heading over to him. He must've heard you approaching because his head snaps toward you before you reach him. He stands up when you get closer to him.
"Y/N, you came..." He says in amazement. "I mean, thanks for coming."
You nod and sit down on the swing that was next to his. Chanyeol sat back down as well, and you took this opportunity to look at him. He was wearing a black hoodie and pants, with a cap on his head. You noted that his eyes were bloodshot and puffy like he had been crying. You also noticed the tip of his nose was red from the cold.
"I am so sorry for putting you through all of this bullshit... For basically everything that has happened since I went on tour. I wish I could go back in time and change... well, everything." He looks down at his hands that were nervously twitching in his lap. "Daeun told me everything... I'm so sorry for blaming it all on you. I should've realized it was me."
"Well, it was kind of both of us." You finally speak.
He smiles sadly. "It wasn't you, Y/N. It was really all me."
You stare at him, waiting for him to continue. When he notices you're not going to say anything, he sighs.
"She knew I had feelings for you, even before that night on the balcony. I guess she's known for a while, but hearing it out loud is what helped her make a decision."
"Wait, why would she think that before the night on the balcony?"
"Little things I did, I guess. That night at the bar, when we both kind of ignored her. When we were hanging out in my dorm room, and she walked in. The countless times she caught me attempting to type a text good enough to send to you. I don't know... Apparently, there were a lot of things."
That tidbit of information surprises you. You had no clue about the unsent texts, but you also hadn't realized how all these things combined would look. In hindsight, it would appear that more was going on between the two of you than either of you would ever admit to her.
"But that night on the balcony, you said you loved her more..." Your eyes start to burn as the unwanted memory pops back into your head.
"I lied."
You nearly give yourself whiplash when you turn towards him before whispering, "You what?"
He finally turns toward you. "I lied to you. I never loved Daeun more than you."
Your heart was beating triple time in your chest. He said it plain as day, with zero hesitation. "Chanyeol, what are you saying to me?"
"I only told you that because I didn't want to admit to myself what I really wanted. That I was in love with you still, and not in love with my girlfriend. That I had spent the past few months with the wrong girl, and that I played with both of your hearts."
Not believing what you were hearing, you almost ask him to repeat himself. Your heart was beating so loud that it was causing a whooshing sound in your ears, and you were almost sure that he could hear it.
You quietly ask, "Why?"
"I knew I couldn't be with you after what happened while I was on tour. I'm not a good enough guy for you... but you were all I could think about. No matter how much I threw myself into music and shows, you were always at the forefront of my mind..." He pauses like he was getting lost back in those memories before taking a deep breath and continuing.
"When I met Daeun, she quieted those thoughts. I had to move on from you for my own sanity, and I did like Daeun. She was funny and smart, but as soon as I got you back in my life, that all went to hell. You were all I wanted, but I was already with Daeun. I felt so guilty for wanting someone besides my girlfriend, so I tried to make it up to her any way I could."
"By telling me to stay away from you?" You quietly ask.
He nods. "That and all the other shit. When she broke up with me, I didn't want to admit that everything was my fault. That I'm such a fuck up, and I can't make anyone happy."
As he spoke, a tear slid down his cheek. When you saw that, you felt your heart break into millions of little pieces.
"Chanyeol, you are not a fuck up. Yes, you made some mistakes and some incredibly stupid decisions, but you are not a fuck up." You turn his face towards you. "Do you hear me, Chanyeol?"
As more tears slide down his face, he whispers, "I am so sorry..."
You pull him into a hug. "It's okay, Chan. I forgive you... Please quit beating yourself up."
The two of you stayed wrapped up in each other's arms. Both of you ignoring the weather as it became colder and neither of you willing to move for a long time.
-2 days later-
Wanting to escape all the drama, you decided to host a dinner and movie night with all of your friends. You wanted and needed everyone to reconnect. There were too many arguments and hurtful words thrown at each other over the past few months, and you just wanted to rebuild the bond you all had.
You planned on cooking a nice dinner, and by cooking, you meant ordering most of it from a restaurant. However, when you told the boys about your idea, Kyungsoo and Minseok immediately invited themselves over to help. Apparently, they really were keeping track of your kitchen fires. You told them countless times you didn't need any help, but they showed up an hour early anyway. It was like they didn't believe you.
"You are NOT kicking me out of my own kitchen, Kyungsoo!" You shout at the younger man.
"Fine, but at least sit off to the side or something." He tries to push you over to the edge of the kitchen. You stare at him in disbelief, and he sighs. "Okay, okay. Will you put the stuff from the restaurant in the oven so it doesn't get cold?"
Confused, you ask, "Do I turn it on?"
Kyungsoo looks at you exasperatedly. "No, you don't turn it on! The containers will melt."
Fighting the urge to whip him with the towel you spotted on the counter, you put the containers in the oven. Secretly, you were super happy they had come over early to help. You had been slightly worried you'd mess something up, but they didn't need to know that.
"Sooo... Y/N...." You look over at Minseok, who was staring at you intensely. "You and Chanyeol, huh?"
"No... There was no 'me and Chanyeol'. Not really... well, kind of, but... never mind."
"Come on! I'm like your older brother! I've known you since you were a geeky little teenager. Tell me...."
You stare at him with mock outrage. "Excuse you! I was not a geeky teenager! Besides, there's nothing really to tell." You meet his eyes and notice him giving you an amused stare. "Okay. I liked Chanyeol, and he liked me, but we were never together."
Both of the boys stay silent until Minseok says, "Continue. I know there's more."
"Really... we just used to make out and - "
"Stop. Please, stop. My ears are going to start bleeding." Kyungsoo says from your right.
Rolling your eyes, you say, "I wasn't going to talk about that! I just... I loved him. Love him."
The boys stare at you with wide eyes. You watch as Kyungsoo drops the spoon he was using to stir the rice into the bowl.
Minseok slowly turns toward him. "Did you know about this?" Kyungsoo stays silent, shaking his head no. "Since when? For how long? Who all knows?"
Minseok kept bombarding you with questions, so you tell them about all the stuff they had been apparently oblivious to over the years. After you tell them everything, you can see that they are slightly sad they were never told about your feelings. This was confirmed when Kyungsoo's voice deepened, signaling he wasn't joking around any longer.
"You could've told us, Y/N."
"I know, but I technically didn't tell anyone. They all figured it out on their own."
"Remember when we used to be close? When you actually liked and talked to us? When we meant something to you?" Minseok dramatically says while putting his hand to his chest, feigning hurt.
Kyungsoo sighs and looks up at the ceiling like he was asking for patience to deal with Minseok acting extra.
A while later, after everyone showed up and ate dinner, the alcohol was pulled out, and the movie was turned into background noise. Everything had been going really well. Chanyeol had been sitting next to you, and the two of you had been having a really good time, laughing nonstop.
The more and more everyone drank, the more obnoxious they became, which was completely normal for them, except for one. Baekhyun had been getting quieter and quieter, which was completely out of character for him.
You knew something was wrong, so you quickly get up and go sit next to him. "Hey, why are you so quiet?"
"Just not in a party mood." He replies quietly, not looking at you.
Wondering if it was because of the kiss, you start to ask him, "Baek - "
He interrupts you. "I see you and Chanyeol have made up. That's good, Y/N, really good."
You watch as he takes a giant gulp of his drink. His words and actions were confusing you. "Baek, are you okay?"
Finally getting him to look at you, he turns toward you and smiles. "Yeah, sorry, just in a mood. Go and talk to Chanyeol. He looks lost by himself."
You glance over at Chanyeol, who was talking to Minseok before turning back and searching Baekhyun's face. "Chanyeol looks fine to me..."
"Really, Y/N, I'm not in much of a mood to entertain people right now."
You slowly nod and say okay. Deciding to give Baekhyun his space, you went back over to the other guys, who were talking about girls from their trainee days.
"Do you guys remember Jisoo?" Jongdae asks the group.
Yixing remembered her, which surprised you a little. "Oh yeah, whatever happened to her?"
"I don't know, but did you know Jongin kissed her?"
You whip your head to the left to look at Jongin, seeing that his eyes were nearly bulging out of his head as he stares at Jongdae in shock. Jia, who was sitting to his left, slowly turns her head toward him, trying to decide if she was going to be mad at him.
"That was like 7 years ago! Why are you bringing her up now?!" Jongin shouts at the older man.
Jongdae smirks at him. "No reason."
You quietly laugh to yourself and shake your head. Jongdae was such a little shit sometimes.
Jongin attempts to get the attention off him, so Jia wouldn't be mad at him any longer. "Yeah, well what about Sehun?? He kissed her sister."
Jongdae chokes on his drink. "He what?! How come I didn't know about this?!
Sehun, who had been minding his own business, yells at Jongin. "Yah! No one was supposed to know about it!"
"Sorry. If I go down, you're coming with me." Jongin says as he shrugs his shoulders.
Sehun, not to be outdone, takes it a step further. "Okay then, I guess I'll point out that Baekhyun kissed that trainee that idolized Taeyeon." Now it was your turn to choke on your drink.
"Minah? When did you do that?!" Junmyeon asks, surprised.
Baekhyun completely ignores everyone and acts like he never heard a thing.
"He just doesn't want to own up to it." Sehun laughs as he looks over at Baekhyun to see if he can get a rise out of him.
Baekhyun turns his head to stare at the youngest member before nodding. "Yeah, I kissed her. Just like I kissed Y/N."
The room goes completely silent, and it takes a moment for you to process what you had just heard. You could physically feel Chanyeol go shock still next to you, but that wasn't something you could focus on at the moment.
Everyone starts looking between you and Baekhyun, but you can only stare at him. Your heart was beating extremely fast, and you thought you were going to cry. Everything was finally going well! What the fuck was he thinking?
You see the moment when Baekhyun realizes he messed up. He looks up at Chanyeol, his face changing to one of horror. "Wait. That's not what I meant!"
You look over to your right to see Chanyeol standing up from the couch while glaring at Baekhyun.
"Chanyeol, let me explain. It was an accident." He stands up from his seat. "It was me, not her."
Before anyone could move, Chanyeol had gotten across the room and punched Baekhyun in the face. Everyone quickly sprang into action after that, a couple of the boys grabbing each man to stop them from escalating the fight.
You go over to Chanyeol and grab his hand to get his attention. "Chanyeol - ".
He rips his hand from yours, not even looking your way. You felt helpless as he pulled out of the arms of the other boys and walked out of your door.
"Chanyeol, wait!" You stare at the door, not believing this was happening.
When you turn back around, you notice everyone looking at you and Baekhyun for an explanation.
"What did you do?" Junmyeon breaks the silence.
Baekhyun immediately answers him. Not letting you take the blame in any way, shape, or form. "It was me. I kissed her the other day."
"Why?" Minseok asks quietly.
Baekhyun sighs, prodding at the new cut on his lip. "Chanyeol was right. I like her, but she doesn't like me back. I thought if I kissed her, maybe she could move on from him, but I was wrong. This is completely on me, not her."
"Well, why the hell did you bring it up?" Sehun angrily asks, pissed off that they were falling right back into the same bullshit routine.
Baekhyun was quiet for a moment. "I guess I was just bitter... I'm upset that she doesn't feel the same way, but I didn't mean to blurt it out. I really have no idea what I was thinking..."
Junmyeon sighs. "Well, you're gonna have fun explaining that to Chanyeol." He sits back down on the couch and drops his head into his hands. "This is a mess."
"I'm sorry, hyung. I'm sorry to everyone..." Baekhyun turns to look at you with tears in his eyes. You grab his hand and begin to take him towards the bathroom.
"Let's go get you cleaned up."
"I'm really sorry..."
"I know, Baek."