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Now situated in a cheerful café, the same one Renjun and YangYang had visited not so long ago, the pair had found comfort after a whirlwind of a start to this 'date'.
"What's your family like?" Chenle enquired softly as he took delicate sips from his baby marshmallow infested hot chocolate. His sweet tooth was now evident, and quite cute as well. "You don't have to open up to me, obviously.....I was just curious."
"Mhm, it's fine. Like you, I'm from China originally. Mum wasn't married when she got pregnant with me, so my dad took that lame excuse and used it to run off into the sunset without us. We moved to Korea when I was about ten, to start over I guess. We've moved houses a bunch of times 'cause nothing ever feels right. We treat the world like it's me and her against it....My family of two is all I've ever known."
"Wow, I didn't expect that from you. I mean....you're sort of rich, you've got attitude, and you're seemingly against romance. I thought you were just spoiled, to be honest."
"Yeah, I've been told similar thoughts before..."
Chenle smiled warmly as he cupped his mug contentedly. Renjun was so soft when left with some personal space. If there was one thing the younger was good at, it was reading a room. It was easy to adjust to others when he opened his eyes to their comforts and dislikes. "So....how did your mother react to you being gay? Wait, that's a bit personal-"
"Disappointed."
The purplette tensed up, grip tightening on the ceramic utensil now that he felt he'd struck a nerve. "Oh..."
"She was disappointed, but not in the way you'd think," Renjun continued, staring into his black coffee wistfully as he recited his tale. "She has a very low tolerance for men, probably because of Dad. I suppose she always raised me to the best of her abilities to treat everyone right and to stick by justice and to do the right thing. When I was a teenager, I worked out that she didn't want me screwing a girl and leaving that person with a problem."
"But you wouldn't, it seems."
"God, never. Even if I was straight, I'd never even dream of it. But when I told her I was attracted to guys, she suddenly got worried that I'd be treated the way she was. That all men are liars and I'd be left in a horrible little ditch of confusing feelings and pain."
The taller sighed, taking another sip of his drink before placing the mug down on the varnished, wooden table. "Look, from experience I think she's right. I've been beaten down a lot in my few years of life, and I'm a hopeless romantic who trusts in others too much. I've fallen for many....God, I've fallen hard for a lot of assholes. I know why she'd worry about you."
"But you're okay. You've got five boyfriends who, even though I'm skeptical about them, seem genuine and good for you. My mum would literally scream if she watched me come home with multiple men to introduce as my partners. I think I'll stick with being single."
"Aaaw, Renjun that isn't fair. I know she's trying to protect you, but you can't let bitterness blind your happiness. Not all men are liars and hurtful. There are amazing guys out there who want the best for those they care about. Like my boys and me!"
The older chuckled fondly, partaking from the sharp coffee and letting it slide down his throat to heat his core. Crushes and the alike were fun and all, and they certainly made life worth living at times....but relationships meant commitment. And if Huang Renjun was going to commit to someone, it'd be one person. At least then his mother wouldn't have a heart attack and he'd be able to manage his life without struggles.
"Chenle, I've sort of noticed what you've all started doing. Courting me, I mean. A 'potential' is someone who'd work well with the relationship you've all got, isn't it?"
"So you've figured it out."
"Please understand when I say that I can't go along with it. I'm not polyamorous like you."
"Well I'm not, actually. I'm a transvestite who likes men, and I can technically only fall for one person at a time. I fell for Jaemin, believe it or not, and he and Mark are the only two polyamorous members of the relationship. Now, we all love each other, don't get me wrong. I've learned to fall for the others and it gets easier, I promise. Jisung was a lot of hard work since he's as straight as a traffic light and fell for me when I was dressed up."
"O-Oh wow....That's not what I expected."
"I know, right? Jeno also fell for Jaemin, and he was really opposed to sharing him. Donghyuck didn't like me at first, he didn't really like Jeno either. We've all been through our own complications here and there, and we're the survivors of a lot of potentials. There have been many boys who've come and gone."
Renjun's eyes were wide, and he wasn't even aware of it. He'd heard things like this a few times, but having it spelled out for him in black and white just made everything so much clearer. A part of him was a bit torn at the fact that he was simply one man out of a supposedly large collection to cross their paths. He wasn't particularly special, and if he denied them for long enough, he'd be added to the 'failed' list. Of course, that's really what he wanted, so it shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did.
"Chenle, what did your family think when you started crossdressing? What did the other boys say when they found out?"
"Well, my parents are the reason I'm like this, if that comes as any sort of shock. My mother wanted a baby girl so badly, and she struggles to have kids. When she finally conceived, she and my dad prayed in temples every night for me to be a female. Obviously, when I was born, there was a great deal of disappointment. I wasn't that baby girl they'd dreamt of....that they'd bought everything for. So they thought they could cover it up...."
"Lele...."
"They dressed me as a girl. They told the whole world I was a girl, too. They forced me into pink, they made me play with dolls and wear frills. Jesus, when I started getting older and my shape wasn't curvy, they suggested binding my waist."
The blonde's chest tightened since he couldn't really find what to say. He'd heard of lots of people dressing in the opposite gender's clothes as a lifestyle and as a choice....but this? Was Chenle even happy? "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise, Junnie. It's not your fault I wasn't born correctly."
"Damn it, it's not your fault either! You weren't born 'incorrectly' either, okay?! They're just selfish!"
"Shhhh, I know," he leaned forward, sliding his palm over Renjun's cheek and gliding his thumb over his cheekbone. "It wasn't so bad though, don't worry. Obviously when puberty hit, my shape was impossible to ignore. I couldn't wear shorts without my clear masculine assets showing, my jaw structure developed to be quite boyish, and my voice is a little too deep to be that of a girl's. So I broke away."
"You said 'no'?"
"Sort of. Crossdressing is a part of me now, and I'm comfortable being a lady on my own terms. I've grown up adoring feminine things, and that's just who I am now. There's no need to pity me when I firmly drew the line against a sex change, and I moved to Korea for some freedom. I'm glad I did."
"The boys...."
"They love me. God knows it's hard to get along with me a lot of the time, but they do, and I appreciate them so much." He sat back, looking towards the window of the café and sighing deeply. "I know you like men. But I think I like you. If reverting to my male attire is what it takes to have your attention, I'll do that."
"Chenle, it's not about that."
"Then why? Please don't use your mother's opinion as an excuse to push us away."
But the taller had a point. The fear of disappointing his only parent was stronger than his desire to find love. Chenle was very attractive, very sweet when he wanted to be, and extremely understanding. He was Chinese, which was a bonus, and he made Renjun feel comfortable.
Had he not already had five boyfriends, he'd have ticked almost all of the silly boxes in Renjun's list of ideal types. The crossdressing wasn't a deal-breaker, but it was certainly food for thought.
Actually, why was he considering any of this at all?
Damn it, he didn't need a boyfriend right now.
"The day is wasting away," the shorter eventually muttered, leaving his now cold coffee to rest in the centre of the table and sitting back quietly. "We should get some more shopping done before sunset."
"Renjun," the younger suddenly gushed in Chinese, "I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable."
"It's okay. You haven't. I'm just being silly."
The purplette tilted his head curiously, standing up and grabbing his jacket before getting ready to pay for everything. "Would you watch the sunset with me?"
"Huh?"
"Let's go. I know an amazing spot."
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