Hello everyone! Hope you're all well.
This time I'm trying my hand at Doctor Who. This is a typical watching the series fic but I am doing some of the Timeless Child arc first (I don't necessarily like it but I do want to see some of the companion's reactions to it) and then moving on to more random episodes.
The characters all come from after the last time we saw them, bar Jack, the Thirteenth Doctor, Graham, Yaz and Ryan who come from after the Timeless Child but before Revolution of the Daleks.
Also I am messing around with the Doctor's past/canon because we all know it is wibbly wobbly anyway - so just go with it.
I'm going to try and upload every week on a Sunday (work load permitting) - this week I give you two chapters though so we can actually get everything started.
So thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think!
Robyn
134 days. 134 days stuck in a small grey cell with no company but her own thoughts. The Doctor was going mad lying flat on the floor staring at the ceiling as if it held all the universe's answers. She had given up on escape attempts mostly after the first 57 failed. She had no sonic, no TARDIS and no friends to help her. No one even knew she was alive let alone let alone in prison so she had no hope of anyone coming to help her break free from this boring jail cell.
Her thoughts were driving her more and more insane every day. Going in circles. Replaying all her greatest hits, the worst moments of her existence. And those were only the memories that she could remember. She had been trying so hard not to think about that because it meant acknowledging that she didn't know herself. If Gallifrey had been built on the back of the Timeless Child (her, she tried not to remember that part) and Gallifrey's history was billions of years old. How old did that make her? How many lives did she not remember? Nope, trying not to think about that. Many thoughts were preferable to that seemingly bottomless abyss of doom. Like punching the stupid smirk of the Master's stupid face the next time that she saw him. She knew she would see him again, he always escaped death (he had to).
Her vision went white. Blinking quickly, she jerked up rubbing her eyes. Nope, it wasn't her eyes. A glowing white sphere, which could only be described as a portal, hovered above her. Humming, as it spun hypnotically.
"What are you?" She whispered to herself. Pulling herself slowly to her feet she almost stumbled back to the floor, her legs numb from lying down for so long. How long had she been lying down trying to drown out her thoughts? 11 days, 13 hours, 28 minutes and 6 seconds. Too long.
Reaching up as if to poke it with her hand she hesitated just before touching the light. "Well, what is the worst that can happen? If I stay here any longer, I am going to go more insane than a purple Kinalyion on a roof playing the flute. By the way did I ever tell you guys about that time ..." She looked to her sides. "Right, in prison on my own. Welp, here we go." She stared up at the mass of shining white light and poked it. Her eleventh self, Bowtie, had been right, the best strategy with the unknown was to poke it with a stick, or in case of a lack of sticks (as was the case here) her hand. At her touch the light started swirling faster and fell down consuming her. Her eyes widened before everything went black.
When she next came to, the first thing she noticed was how soft the floor was. After having spent 134 days in a cold, hard stone cell a carpeted floor was a change. A nice one. A nice purple, soft one. Well, whoever had kidnapped her had a sense of style at least. (She was decidedly not thinking about how purple was the Master's colour for their last couple of regenerations. She was decidedly not thinking about the Master full stop, especially not Missy). Pushing off the floor with weak arms she forced herself to sit up and stretch her sore legs while she took in her surroundings. Where was she?
The room was small and bland. Not much bigger than a large cupboard. Cream walls, nice purple carpet, no furniture and no window. There was, however, a door. Taking a breath to steady herself she stood up slowly leaning against a wall for a minute. When did standing get so hard? Was the room supposed to be spinning? Probably not. She really wished she had her sonic so she could try and get some understanding of where she was before she inevitably found trouble. Well (almost) anything was better than lying in her cell alone.
She shuffled towards the door. Was that voices she could hear? Leaning against the door she put her ear to the wood. Definitely voices. Voices that seemed familiar. Where did she know those voices from? Her eyes widened with a sharp breath. But that was impossible!
That was when the door decided to give in, opening and causing her to fall out of her small cupboard-like room back onto the floor. She wasn't having a good day. No, not a good existence at this point. The sound of the door swinging open and her falling face first onto the ground stopped the voices. Pushing herself onto her elbows and rolling over into a sitting position (for like the second? Third? Never mind) time that hour (day? Who knows how long she had been unconscious), she looked up into the new room.
For a start it was significantly bigger than the cupboard she had fallen out of. It had the same dark purple carpet and cream walls but in the middle of the room was a collection of Tardis blue chairs, sofas, beanbags and pillows all facing a large screen. It looked like some kind of home cinema. More importantly, however, was the people standing in the room. They had clearly been arguing but had stopped to look at her as she collapsed out of the cupboard.
She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Clearly, she was hallucinating as most of these people couldn't be here. It was impossible. Closing her eyes tight and then opening them didn't get rid of them. Just as she was about to try something else, she didn't know what yet, she noticed a hand on her arm. It was gentle, not harsh, so friendly? She hoped so at least. Maybe not a hallucination – the touch felt too real. Dazedly she looked to the owner of the hand.
"You alright there, cockle?" It was Graham. Caring, supportive Graham. Caring, supportive Graham that should be safe at home on Earth not in her possibly-not-hallucination-visions. He smiled down at her with such a soft grandfatherly smile that made her stomach turn, what had she done to deserve that look?
"Graham?" She managed to croak out, her voice sore from disuse. Everything in her head was screaming at her to curl into a ball and wait for the visions to disappear. It would be less painful that way. She pushed that instinct to the side to focus on Graham and not falling on her face again as he helped her back up onto her feet.
"You okay? You look a bit dizzy mate." Ryan. She blinked at him slowly trying to figure out what was going on. "How are we here? How are you here? Where is here anyway?"
"I don't think she is ready to answer any of our questions yet, Ryan." Yaz. It was her fam, all three of them. "I don't think we have ever seen you this quiet. Are you okay?"
She ignored Ryan's mumble about Yaz getting to ask questions in favour of turning to blink at Yaz. Shaking her head, she forced herself to actually register what was going on and answer. "I'm fine. Yeah, fine. King, wait no, queen of fine me. Yeah. What happened?"
"No clue, cockle. We were all at home and then a white light kind of swallowed us? Woke up in this room with all these people. Only recognised that Jack fellow. Do you know them? Some of them seem to know each other. They've been talking for a while, well arguing is probably the better word for it. No one seems to have any idea what is going on, but your name keeps coming up." Graham led her over to sit in the nearest sofa while the other two followed. She looked at the others in the room. Ghosts. That's what they were. They were all talking and trying very hard not to watch her and her fam.
"Yeah, same thing happened to me. No idea where we are, hopefully not anywhere bad." She ignored the last question she wasn't ready to answer that one yet.
"Where have you been by the way? It's been over two months, we thought you were dead." Yaz stood in front of her, blocking the others from her roaming eyes. Her stance, crossed arms and stubborn, was grounding and the Doctor forced her eyes to meet Yaz's.
"The man from the boundary, Ko Sharmus came back and pressed the button. The Cyber Masters killed him. I managed to get away. I was going to come back to you, I swear." She started at Yaz before glancing at Graham and Ryan on either side of her, hoping they would see she was being honest (for once in her very long existence. How long?). "The Judoon got me. I've been in jail for the last while. I'm so sorry for everything, mainly the Cybermen, you shouldn't have been in that position. I'm so glad you're all safe."
That was when the others in the room decided to interfere. "Erm, like sorry to interrupt and all that, but did you say Cybermen? Like silver robot things?" It was Bill. Curious, young Bill who hadn't deserved any of what she got. Who should have been at home writing essays and studying, just living her life, instead of being shot and converted into a Cyberman.
"Yeah, you know them?" Ryan was the one that answered, moving to join Yaz standing in front of her, hiding her from everyone else in the room. "Do all of you know about them? Who are you all?"
"Well, hello there. Good to see you again Silver Fox and friends. I'm Captain Jack Harkness, as many of you know, lovey to see so many beautiful faces. I'm gonna assume that we all know the Doctor; as the people I know here all do and that's most of the people in this room, plus the way we've all been talking it sounds likely. You three are the latest companions or you were the last time I saw you, but I don't know the beauty behind you. Another companion?" How Jack managed to fit so much flirting into his speech was a mystery. She was also surprised at his obliviousness. He was usually a bit sharper than that and she knew her fam had told him that she was now female. He really didn't have any excuse for being so dumb, barring the whole no-idea-where-they-were-trapped-in-a-strange-room situation. However, she really wasn't ready to speak up, so was very thankful when another voice spoke instead, distracting Jack from his last question.
"I'm Professor River Song. Pleasure to meet you handsome, I've heard lots about you. I've heard lots about many of the people in this room actually if I'm right about your identities. I think it is safe to say we all know the Doctor but maybe we should do introductions before we figure a way out of here. Seeing as some of us know each other and others don't." River. She didn't even have to see her to know exactly what she looked like. Grinning wildly and flirting with Jack. Those two would make a disastrous pair, she had had nightmares about those two meeting. Between the guns and the flirting, they would probably destroy a few planets together and plenty of hearts. At least River speaking up meant that she didn't have to reveal herself yet. Plus, it was making her hallucination idea even weaker an argument, surely her mind wasn't cruel enough to make this scenario up.
"Professor? Of what, if you don't mind me asking beautiful?" Jack in his natural habitat. Of course, he hadn't changed a bit. She wasn't sure how to feel about him flirting with her wife, her stomach was doing summersaults but maybe that was from everything else going on.
"Archaeology, handsome. We can talk a bit later when we aren't trapped in a mysterious room for an unknown reason. I'd like to get to know you better for certain, I've heard some fantastic stories." The Doctor wasn't sure what to do with those mental images. She decided glaring at the carpet was the best way to focus. Was this real? It sounded real but it couldn't be.
"River's right. I mean about the introductions anyway. It's probably best to know who everyone is before we end up running for our lives as is typical when the Doctor is involved. I'm Amy Pond –. "
"Williams."
"Pond. And this is my husband Rory. River is our daughter. Complicated don't ask." Amelia Pond, her sweet little fairy-tale Amelia Pond and Rory the Roman. The girl and boy who waited.
"Yeah, not going to ask. I'm Bill and this egg is Nardole."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Martha Smith nee Jones, this is my husband Mickey." Dr Martha Jones and Mickey the idiot. Her past was really coming back to haunt her wasn't it.
"Erm, I'm Rose Tyler. It's good to see you guys again. Martha, Mickey you two got married? I'm so happy for you." Rose. Oh Rassilon, Rose. She should be on a parallel world, whoever had brought them here had some serious power. If this was real anyway, which she still wasn't convinced about.
"I'm Donna Temple-Noble and I want to know where we are! I remember everything now. God, I remember everything. How is that possible? Where is that bloody Spaceman anyway? I need to have words with him." Donna sounding the same as always. Shouting her problems into submission. Amazing and bold. Ready to scream at the universe if necessary.
"It's nice to meet you all. I've heard a lot about some of you. I'm Clara. Clara Oswald. It's good to meet you in person Nina." Her impossible girl, who she had forgotten. Memories really were important (and didn't that make her possible lack of memories all the more painful and infuriating).
"Nina, wait Souffle Girl? Oswin? Weren't you a dalek?"
"Hello, complicated. It was me but it also wasn't. Like I said complicated." Stars, was there anyone else. She hoped not. She didn't think she could handle anyone else.
Graham stood to join Ryan and Yaz. "Well, I'm Graham, this is my grandson Ryan and our friend Yaz. This is -." She grabbed his arm and shook her head desperately at Graham. She didn't want them to know yet.
"So which Doctor did you guys travel with?" Clara was the one to throw out a question to break up the awkward silence that followed Graham's abrupt stop.
"Which Doctor? What do you mean which Doctor?" Yaz asked, glancing bemused back at the Doctor. All she could do was smile sadly and nod back at the others. They would answer. She wasn't ready yet. She didn't know what to say to most of the people in this room apart from enough apologies to drown in. She had spent a lot of time alone in that small cell and all she had were her memories. She'd had plenty of time to reflect on how she failed all of them. And she had failed them all in some way. She always did.
"You must be new dear. The Doctor has a way of cheating death so to say. He changes his face in a process called regeneration. His whole-body changes with a vaguely different personality but he's ultimately the same person. I met Pinstripes on a couple of occasions, which was what he referred to as his tenth incarnation, but I mainly knew the next two – Chinny and Eyebrows." River. If she had met River in her tenth face to her view than maybe, just maybe, she was after the library. Hope swelled in her chest and her hearts were in her mouth.
"Jack and I travelled with his ninth one, Ears, and Mickey knew him too. We were with him, Mickey and I, I mean, when he regenerated into Pinstripes and we all travelled at varying times with him too." Rose decided to speak. Even if this turned out to be a huge dream it was nice to hear her – maybe imaginary – voice again. It had been so long. So long since she had seen many of the people in the room.
"Donna and I also travelled with Pinstripes at different times, although we met on a couple of occasions." Martha piped up for her and Donna. "Plus, we met Rose, Mickey (obviously) and Jack during the whole planets in the sky mess." Rassilon, that had been a day, seeing so many of her companions together and then having to say goodbye to them all. It had left her even more lonely than normal and had led to so many mistakes.
This time it was Amy that spoke. "From those descriptions and from what River has said I think we knew the one she called Chinny. If you're talking about the clumsy moron who wore bow ties, tweed and occasionally a fez when we weren't able to destroy it fast enough."
"Yeah, I heard a bit about both of you. The Ponds. Chinny was eleven. I travelled with him after you and then was there when he regenerated into his twelfth face – Eyebrows." Clara added, despite not being able to see her, the Doctor could tell she was nodding.
"If Eyebrows you mean tall, grey haired Scotsman. Kind of grandfatherly but a bit grumpy at times then that is the one Nardole and I know." Bill spoke from somewhere to her left, her voice laced in confusion and curiosity.
Another awkward silence. The weight of everyone's eyes were on her and the fam. They glanced back at her unsure what to say. She smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring manner but probably looked more like a pained grimace from the worry in their eyes. She couldn't avoid it any further, not without difficulty. She was as ready as she could be. She had to be. She wasn't.
She stood up on aching limbs and gently pushed between Ryan and Yaz who glanced at her in worry. She nodded and tried another smile. This one was clearly a bit better as they let her past. "They travel with me. Hi. I'm after Eyebrows by the way. Nice to see you all again although I wish it was under better circumstances. Oh well, we'll be out of this in a jiffy I'm sure. Hmn, not sure if I like that." She tried a full (fake) smile and put as much joy and bounce into her voice as she could manage but like before she didn't think it worked.
Stunned silence greeted her. She looked around the room at her past friends and family, taking them in but too afraid to meet anyone's eyes. "Well, I like this new body sweetie. Definitely an upgrade." She glanced sharply at River who smiled softly at her, moving closer as if to touch her.
She was beaten to the punch by Jack. He had charged forward and pulled her into a tight hug. She was smaller than him by a few inches now - curse her short legs – and he used that to his advantage. Lifting her up and spinning her around, her coat flying out behind her like a cape. A small laugh escaped her before she could help herself. When she was placed, gently, back on the floor a pair of lips met hers in a kiss before she could react. Then he pulled back, holding her shoulders and smiling at her. "Beautiful as always Doc. I should have known. Your newest friends mentioned you had changed."
"Stop it. You don't change Jack, do you?" This felt too real to be a dream. If it was, a cruel, cruel dream, she was going to enjoy it while she could. Rassilon, she had missed them. She always missed them.
She was surprised when she was hit with another body hugging her. Bill had rushed from the other side of the room and practically tackled her into a tight hug. "It's you right Doctor? Please tell me it's you. You looked so dead the last time I saw you but I didn't want to believe it!"
"Yeah, it's me Bill. What happened? I don't really remember much between the explosion and waking in the TARDIS, but I met a thing that told me some stuff but I didn't know what to believe." She relaxed out of the hug, putting her hands onto Bill's shoulders and taking her in. Happy to see her not as a Cyberman again. Testimony Bill had claimed Heather had saved her but she hadn't been sure she had wanted to get her hopes up at the time. Nardole stood next to Bill offering silent support to the pair, a grin on his face. It was good to have the pair of them back again.
"You blew yourself up you idiot. I found you lying in the forest with all the Cybermen dead and then Heather found me. She made me like her and we brought you back to the TARDIS. I've been travelling with her." Bill grinned up her, glad to see the Doctor alive. Then she pulled the Doctor back into a hug. "You stupid old man! Don't you dare do that to me again!"
"I'm so sorry Bill, I should have never taken you anywhere near that ship and I was an idiot to hope Missy had changed. I'm so sorry." The Doctor held Bill tight against her as if she could protect her from the rest of the world. They both pulled back at the same time, smiling.
"You know what I said about liking girls and people closer to my age, that was not a hint. I would say I missed out but I loved my space grandad." Bill grinned widely, nodding to someone behind the Doctor before moving swiftly out the way with a smirk.
She spun around to find Clara behind her. Puppy-like eyes wide and a soft smile on her face. "Do you remember-." The Doctor dived at her, tugging her into a hug. Clara laughed, putting her arms around the Doctor. "I'm guessing that's a yes. I've missed you too, you idiot. What's with all the hugs? I know you didn't like them as Eyebrows." She reluctantly pulled herself away from the hug, a wide smile on her face. "I think this is a special occasion, don't you?" Rassilon, she had missed Clara and Bill. Clara smiled knowingly before gesturing towards the other side of the room.
The Doctor edged nervously towards where Donna, Mickey, Martha and Rose were standing awkwardly watching the exchanges. She froze awkwardly in front of them, unsure what to do or to say. "Look at you Spaceman, speechless for once. Come here you idiot." Donna broke first, pulling her into a tight hug, so tight she thought she would have to use her respiratory bypass. "And don't think we won't be having words about the whole memory thing. I understand but it doesn't mean I'm happy about it. Though I have to say this is an upgrade from Mr Skinny."
"She's right. You're looking good Doctor." Martha smiled from next to Mickey, hands joined between them. Mickey nodded, grinning as he added; "Hey Boss."
"I could say the same about all of you. I'm glad you're all safe." She smiled happily at them, meaning every word.
"Doctor." Rose leapt forward, grabbing her and hugging her tightly for a couple of minutes. Before she stepped sharply back. "I've missed you and I'm so happy to see you again. But, from what the others have said, you've regenerated another three times since I last saw you which means you've died three times!" Her eyes burned angry and worried, for a minute the Doctor thought she was going to be slapped but Rose pulled her back into a tight hug.
"It's okay Rose. I'm fine, I always am." She ignored the disbelieving scoffs she received from everyone. "Just tell me, are you happy? On that other world I mean, with your parents and - you know." She couldn't finish the sentence.
"No, you're rarely fine. But yes, I am. Really am happy I mean, but that doesn't mean I can't miss you or Mickey. Talking of which." Rose moved away from the Doctor with a last grin, shifting towards Martha and Mickey. "I know I've already said it but I really do mean it. I'm so happy you too are together-." The Doctor decided that was the best time to move away from the conversation, moving towards the last people she had to greet properly.
"Well, I'm not going to hug first." Amy announced, arms crossed. So very Scottish and angry. The stare off lasted for only a minute before they both surged forward, giggling, into a hug.
"My Raggedy Man. Look at you, still no sense of fashion." Amy pulling her husband into the hug with them. River stood at the side smiling but letting them reunite. "My Ponds, it's so good to see you two again." She moved half way out of the hug, keeping her arms around both of them. Going up onto her toes to gently lay a kiss on their foreheads. She pushed down the annoyance of being smaller than them both, too happy to just be holding them again. Amy pulled away grinning wildly and shoved her away.
She stumbled, surprised, but was caught in strong familiar arms. She shifted her head, desperate to properly see her saviour. "River." Her wife smiled softly helping her stand steady then pulling her into a gentle kiss that the Doctor found herself chasing as River pulled back. "Hello sweetie. I'm guessing it has been a while for you." Her breath caught in her throat, she couldn't move or say anything just stared into her wife's eyes. "Oh sweetie, you need to breath." She nodded still unable to speak. Everything was over whelming, there was so many people here that she thought she would never see again. People she had mourned and cried over. This couldn't be a hallucination. It just couldn't. It was too cruel a thought.
That's when a new voice joined the conversation drawing everyone's attention. It was a lady, a familiar one. Dressed in a fancy laced blue dress, dark hair pulled messily out of her face. A smile prominent on her face. "Sexy?" It was Amy that voiced her thoughts.
"Sexy?" Someone, maybe Martha, asked in the background. She wasn't paying attention, too busy staring at her. River had backed away slightly, but remained close standing at her side, ready for action.
"The TARDIS, she got put into a body for a while. Long story involving a sentient TARDIS eating asteroid." Rory answered the question with a wave of his hand. They were all too used to this weirdness to question that any more clearly, bar a comment on the name from Jack.
"Hello my thief. Don't worry, it was me that brought you all here. You're safe."
"But what -?" She tried desperately to articulate a question, any one of the thousands flooding her mind as she moved to stand right in front of the TARDIS. The TARDIS took her face gently into her hands and smiled softly, leaning down to put their foreheads together for a minute before moving back slightly, hands still on her face.
"You need your friends and family. And they deserve to understand and they need to understand to help you. Your whole world has been shaken, your mental image of who you are has been cracked. I want to help before it becomes broken, my dear thief. You helped me when you stole me all those years ago, let me help you my thief." She pulled back further moving to face the others in the room, but she kept a steadying hand on the Doctor.
"I'm going to show you some of the Doctor's adventures. Important moments such as when she met you all and her regenerations since she first met Rose in her ninth, plus some nice adventures. So that you can understand and help each other. She has just found out some information that was hidden from her for a long time. Help her, she needs you and you may even enjoy yourselves. You are safe here; everything will be provided. The first episodes will be background to this secret she uncovered and after that it will be a bit more random. When you talk, the video will pause and resume when you stop." She looked pleadingly at everyone who nodded with varying degrees of certainty. "Oh, also there is one more guest for now. Don't worry he won't be able to hurt any of you, but he needs to understand arguably more than any of you and they need each other more than you know." With that final statement she smiled softly at the Doctor before disappearing.
Then a humanoid shape fell from a swirling white portal on the roof to land with a hard thump on the floor. With a groan the shape rolled over and pulled itself up onto its feet. "Well, that wasn't pleasant, and before you say anything that infernal machine already explained everything to me. I promise I won't try and kill any of your pets for now." The Master dusted imaginary dirt off his coat. He turned to the Doctor with one of his signature wicked smirks and a wink. "My dear Doctor, looking a bit rough. Having trouble with the truth?"
She took a quick step backwards and tried desperately to decide if it was worth hitting him (again). Of course, he wasn't dead. Death never stuck when it came to him. She hated the fact that she was at least a little relieved to see him again.
"Master." She managed to grit out, aware what the word would cause. For a second - she could have sworn his smirk turned softer, more like a smile. Then the outrage of her friends caught her attention.
"The Master? But he's dead. You burnt his body. Doctor!?" It was Martha that spoke, Marth that had suffered so much at his hands in the Year that Never Was.
"Wait, Missy regenerated again? I thought you said she left with herself? Himself? The other one – Razor!" Bill rocked on her feet, ready to move out of the way of danger.
"He's never been one for staying dead. Yes, Bill this is the regeneration after Missy. Martha I've met him a few times since you last saw him. I'm sorry Martha, so sorry. For everything and I know that sounds hollow and pathetic but I mean it. I never treated you right when you travelled with me and for that I'm sorry. You were and are amazing, you have achieved so much and were always so ready to help everyone. I swear to you he won't hurt you or anyone else here, if the TARDIS says he can't he won't. Trust her, not him or even me. Trust the TARDIS."
She moved closer to Martha, reaching out a hand towards her but not quite touching her. She looked up into her eyes for the first time since arriving, begging and pleading for her to believe her. When she received a small smile and nod, she gave one back. She shifted, taking a minute to plead with Jack, Clara and Bill – the ones that had been most affected by the Master. She got a few hesitant smiles and nods back. Turning sharply back to the Master "And you, sit down and shut up." She pointed at him with a glare which only seemed to entertain him but he did as he was told and sat gracefully in a comfortable chair spaced slightly away from the others.
She watched him for a few minutes to ascertain his intentions before believing he would stay where he was. She turned back to everyone else, a large grin on her face that likely came out more as a grimace. "Well, everyone let's sit down and watch then. It doesn't look like we will be getting out of this any other way."
Everyone nodded slowly before moving to sit down. Rose and Jack took the sofa furthest to the left of the big screen. Donna, Mickey and Martha took the one next to them on the left side of the middle. Then Amy, Rory and River settled on the next one on the right middle. Bill, Nardole and Clara each took a beanbag spaced in front of the sofas. The Doctor and her fam took the last sofa, furthest to the right. The Master remained in his armchair to the right of the Doctor. She glanced at him, of course he would end up next to her, she didn't trust him anywhere else.
"Ready? Well, here we go."