When you went away,
thought I'd never be the same
Would the nightmare ever end?
If I could do it again I wouldn't change a thing 'cause it's made me who I am
gravity
~ atc
⋅⋆∘✯∘⋆⋅
The question caught Jeongguk off guard. He turned around to study the brunette's expression. "What?"
"How in love are you with me?"
Taehyung's shoulders bunched in, brows knitted together and Jeongguk decided now might be a really good time to clear away his doubts and welcome him to a brand new sky.
"I'm so in love with you, Kim Taehyung," The ravenette declared with his entire chest, "I don't know why you'd even ask that."
"Cause," Taehyung breathed, dipping his fingers along the ravenette's collarbones and up to his neck, weaving fingers into his nape, "what happens after this?"
"What happens after what?"
"After we leave camp and go home."
Jeongguk leaned into his touch. "You're my home."
"You know what I mean, Jeongguk."
"And you know what I mean," The ravenette replied, placing his hand over Taehyung's chest and letting the rhythm of his heartbeat guide him, "I found home in a person, not a place. I could be anywhere in the world and I'd still want to be home."
The brunette gulped, his heartbeat accelerating at the vehemence of Jeongguk's words.
"I don't like the idea of long-distance, Tae." A deep frown curved into Jeongguk's mouth. "But I'm willing to try— for me, for you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What if— what if we fall out of love?"
There was bittersweetness that reflected in Jeongguk's pretty irises. "Then we fall out of love."
Taehyung deflated, but the ravenette held him upright.
"But right now, at this moment, this is what I want." He nodded, not a hint of uncertainty on his features. "Whatever happens tomorrow happens. But if this is what we want now, why not go for it?"
Taehyung exhaled, pretty eyelashes batting at the ravenette as he patted his lap. "Come closer, Bambi, so I can kiss you properly."
"So you're willing to try as well?" Jeongguk asked, straddling the brunette and brushing their lips together like flint and steel creating a spark.
"Yeah. We wanna make good things last, right?" Taehyung chuckled, mumbling sentences against the ravenette's lips and engulfing his cheek with a large palm, "And you are the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"Am I?" The boy on his lap grinned, nose scrunching. "You sap."
Taehyung prevented any more sly comments by pressing his lips firmly against Jeongguk's and intertwining their fingers. The intimacy pulled on the ravenette's heartstrings, as always. He had a secret love for kissing in the dark, where all you could hear was choruses of breathes and hammering of heartbeats.
At some point they weren't even kissing. They merely pressed their foreheads together and kept their eyes closed, soaking in each other's presence. Every once in a while a small giggle would sound, followed by a caress of a cheek, but the serenity of the moment always drew them back to the quiet comfort in each other's embrace.
The rest of their nights ended like this, two souls wrapped in silence and blankets, murmuring affirmations of love and gratitude and commitment that exceeded time and space.
Most of the time Jeongguk fell asleep first, huddled up in the brunette's arms, safe and sound. Taehyung never skipped the opportunity to look over him, gently stroking his raven hair and cooing over his pouty lips until he too slipped into dreamland.
Their shared dreams swirled around pretty fantasies and bursts of joy. Their unconscious finally found peace.
This was their story, blurring the lines with nothing but love and trust. Every dream sprinkled in stardust and every fear washed from shore. They weren't perfect and they didn't strive to be. By losing they gained each other. By gaining each other they lost the weight of the world on the backs.
Taehyung stood at the edge of the road, snapping a twig under his feet and treasuring each breeze that came his way. He tried cramming every little detail into his mind, praying he'd never forget the summer that was slipping through his fingers like grains of sand.
"Taehyung," Jeongguk called as his father loaded up the car.
The brunette whipped around instantaneously and took a step backward when a rolled-up piece of paper poked his tummy.
"You're not allowed to read it yet," Jeongguk instructed.
"What is— You wrote something to me?"
"Yeah." The ravenette grinned widely at his reaction.
Taehyung took it from him, noticing the way it was tied up so nicely with string he recognized from the Children's Center craft room. "Fuck I could've written something back to you if—"
"You're terrible at writing, Tae."
"That's mean."
Jeongguk giggled, grasping the brunette's hands and kissing his cheek. "You're better at saying sweet stuff. Verbalization."
"Ha ha." Taehyung drew out every syllable to emphasize his sarcasm. "When can I read it?"
"Next time I see you."
"And when's that?"
"I'll let you know."
Taehyung took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm not ready to leave you, Bambi."
"Fuck, c'mere."
Jeongguk got on his tiptoes and threw his arms around the brunette's neck. Taehyung reacted immediately, snaking his arms around the small of his back and clinging onto him for life.
"Jeongguk!"
The ravenette glanced up reluctantly but smiled wide when he saw who it was. "Hi, auntie."
Taehyung let go of the ravenette so EunKyung could have a piece of her nephew.
"How was camp? Did it do you and your dad any good as your therapist said?" She asked in that shrill voice of hers.
"It did us good," Junseo answered, closing in on the group, "The car is loaded. We're going home, Jeongguk."
The ravenette marched back up to Taehyung, grabbing his shoulders and leaving one last kiss on his lips. Pink dusted over the brunette's cheeks, feeling Junseo and EunKyung's eyes on them.
"Call me as soon as you're back in LA," Taehyung requested in a hushed tone, "Okay, Bambi?"
"I will, Tae."
Pain trampled over his chest as he watched the ravenette leave with his aunt, waving back at him with a plastered smile. It was like watching his life walk away.
Taehyung's face fell grim, unable to suppress the lump in his throat. He was about to raise his fingers to his lips, feeling what was left of Jeongguk's kiss when he realized Junseo was still there, standing next to him.
"I owe you an apology," The man said, hands thrust into pockets, "for treating you the way I did."
Taehyung gave him a fleeting, pained smile. "Will Jeongguk be back next year?"
"Possibly. There's no stopping my son at this point." Junseo chuckled. "He gets what he wants." He stretched out a hand for the brunette to shake. "Thank you for being there for him when I failed to."
"He deserves the world," Taehyung found himself saying, clasping his hand.
When the Jeon family left, Taehyung turned in search of his brother, wanting someone to fill the hole that was punched through his chest.
What he found, however, sent him reeling backward.
His brother was kissing a certain blue-haired person, eyes shut— holy shit he was kissing someone!
Taehyung felt a sudden burst of pride and warmth, stepping away from the doorway before they could notice him spying.
Seokjin deserved to enjoy his love life as much as anyone else. He deserved to be kissed and to be touched without the past leashing onto him like chains. He deserved to kiss and touch someone without regret. And he was doing just that.
Taehyung heard an unrecognizable voice and realized it was Seokjin's partner.
"Was that okay?" Namjoon asked cautiously.
Then Seokjin. "Yeah... Yeah, I'm okay. I focused on you. Just you."
Not wanting to disturb their little moment, Taehyung crept away and into his own room. He stared at the messy sheets on his bed, lurking with memories of the ravenette, and he laid down, arms spread and looking up at the ceiling.
He could only dream of Jeongguk coming back.
__________
i'm so proud of jin :)
i wrote these two chapters with Mono in mind. Joon's mixtape is so underrated it hurts me. Mono is like a painful yet beautiful cycle of life. an experience of loving and hating, losing and gaining and doing it all over again. the juxtaposition the lyrics, the crescendo and build-up that ends with Forever Rain. literally i fall in love with it every time i listen to it. one of my fav albums. there's a reason why my username is named after his song moonchild lmao.
:]
epilogue is next and i don't think i'm ready to write it fck. i'm not ready for this to end.
i wanted to ask if there is anything in particular that you guys are looking forward to. there will be closure to more characters in the epilogue that i have already planned but i'm curious— what do you hope for as the ending to this book? or what is something you're interested to see?
for example:
tae died in the fire. the end. roll credits.
HAHA
but yeah, i can't change the ending to your preference, obviously, but i wanna read what y'all think and maybe even toy with bonus chapters and fake deleted scenes.
i love you. thank you for staying with me till the (near) end. i hope you're well. how are you?
lots of virtual hugs
- hay hay u u i don't like your girlfriend