"Is everything ok Y/N?"
The boy who was currently shedding tears turned towards the door to see it open as Chaeyeon was looking at him in worry.
"I-I'm fine don't worry about me." You said while wiping your tears and faking a smile.
"Still trying to lie..."
She then walked into your room and sat beside you while looking at what your hands were holding.
"Wait a minute isn't that..."
"Hey Chaeyeon I'm really fine now u don't have to-"
"Was he your friend?"Chaeyeon interrupted as she pointed at the picture.
"W-what?"
"He's Kim Sungwoon isn't he? The boy in the picture that you're holding now."
As much as you wanted to hold your emotions to not let anyone else except your members know about his past u couldn't do it as your tears started flowing down again.
"It.... it was my fault that he..... he died. I should have stayed with him till the very end~" You said as you silently cried.
You then felt an embrace from Chaeyeon as she patted your head.
"It's alright Y/N. Let it all out."
"I-I'm such a coward. I shouldn't have just ran away from my responsibility as a friend~"
The mother of IZ*ONE slowly raised your head while wiping his tears as she looked at you in disapproval.
"Don't bring yourself down like that Y/N. I'm sure no matter what happened between the two of u, he wouldn't want u to still think about it. And if u want anyone to talk to I'm here alright?" Chaeyeon said.
Time skip
"I guess he's been hurting all these time.." She said.
After crying your eyes out, You had fallen asleep however as she was still concerned about you so Chaeyeon decided to stay with you for a bit longer.
"Silly boy, u should have just told us about this when we first met then u wouldn't have to bear all of this in your heart anymore." She whispered.
....
....
"I guess he's asleep now."
Thinking that the boy had finally fallen asleep, she was about to walk out of his room until she felt a touch on her hand as she turned around.
"Stay with me tonight.......please. I-I don't wanna be alone." You said as you held her hands tighter.
However Chaeyeon had taken it as another way as she started blushing at the boy's request.
"B-but-"
"Please.... I-I need someone to be with me right now." You said while almost crying again.
"Alright i'll stay." She said before finally staying with the boy.
As you had finally fallen asleep with her by your side, Chaeyeon was also starting to get tired bit by bit however she couldn't risk sleeping beside a fellow idol not to mention her current manager.
"It should be fine if I leave him now..." Chaeyeon mumbled as she stared at u.
Though younger, the amount of trauma u went through was more than what she had experienced.
"I wonder if I should tell the rest about this...."
The next day
"Hmm.... what time is it?"
You checked your alarm after waking up only to shout in surprise after realising the current time.
"Oh my god! The girls are gonna be late for their schedule!"
You were about to burst out of his door until the door opened.
"Oh you're up already Y/N?" Chaeyeon asked.
"Oh gosh I'm so sorry Chaeyeon, it's already so late." The boy said making her confused.
"Did u thought we have a schedule today? We're resting today u know right?"
That sentence made you realise that you was indeed still in a state of confusion as u sighed.
"He's still traumatised.."
"Hey Y/N, about last night. Do u want me to tell the others about it? I'm sure if the girls know about-"
"No. Don't tell them. I want no sympathy from any of u." U warned her making her shocked due to the change in attitude.
"But-"
"No buts! Tell them and I'll leave immediately." U said as he walked out of the door while leaving her in confusion.
'Y/N...."
"Oh hey Y/N, you're up. We just ordered breakfast wanna join us?" Yena asked.
However instead of replying u just ignored her or any of the girls and just immediately walked out of their dorm which confused them.
"What's with him these days?" Wonyoung asked.
"I don't know but Chaeyeon must know something since she went to woke him up." Eunbi said.
And Eunbi was right, just as u left the dorm Chaeyeon came down with a frown on her face.
"Did something happen between the two of you Chaeyeon?" Sakura asked.
Meanwhile
'Damn it i got mad at them again...'
U knew it was wrong of you to take your anger out on the girls but everything that they did always reminded u of the mistake u did in the past.
And if Chaeyeon had told them what u did the girls would start avoiding u u thought.
U were still deep in your thoughts until u saw a familiar looking car that stopped by the side of the road which was opened by the person u didn't want to see the most.
Anger started taking over u as u clenched your fist and glared at the person as he started walking to u.
"It's been a while Y/N."
"Why are u here? I said I don't want to see u again."
"I haven't seen my son in a while can't i visit him once in a while."
Yup the person was your father and u hated him more than anyone in the world.
Flashback
When u were just a kid, your father was hardly at home since he was so busy as a renowned actor and the CEO of a entertainment company that Sungwoon was under in the entertainment industry and so u always stayed with your mum.
Naturally u started growing distant from your father and didn't really spoke to him.
Then one day, your mum fell so sick all of a sudden that even the doctors didn't know what had happened to her.
But the worst part was your father didn't even visit your mum once.
That was until your mum passed away one day only did he finally rushed to the hospital.
"GET OUT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE U EVER AGAIN! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!"
And to make things worse when u got home that day, you had seen him with another woman in your house making u utterly disappointed in him.
Flashback over
"Don't u dare call yourself my father after what u did that day."
"Sigh I know you're a idol now Y/N and I'm happy for you but now I'm just trying to make things right."
U couldn't believe what u had just heard.
Your father who had basically abandoned u and did nothing to help Sungwoon when the scandal broke out is now trying to make things right with you.
"I'm not interested so just get out of my life. Don't ever appear in front of me again." U warned the man before walking away.
" I wonder what Y/N is doing now..." Dino said.
"Yeah.... and our comeback is coming soon. I wonder if he's been practicing." Added Hoshi.
Just as the atmosphere became silent between your members one of them suddenly stood up.
"I've got somewhere I need to be for a while I'll see u guys later." Seungkwan said before leaving the practice room and making the guys wondering.
Somewhere near Han River
"So u lashed out at them again huh."
"I didn't mean to Hyung. Really I didn't but that incident should only be known between me and u guys and it was only in that moment I faltered and told Chaeyeon about that..."
"And when she suggested telling the girls about it, I just lost it."
"So u don't want them to know about it and why?"
....
....
"If they knew what I had done when my best friend was in trouble they would surely despise me and hate me for it. Even till now I still get flashbacks about it... I hate myself for being so weak back then." Your hands were shaking at this point.
While Seungkwan was normally the comedian in your group in this kind of situations when his members were in some kind of problem, he would surely not hesitate to listen to them.
"Listen Y/N u might have done something wrong in the past but who has not right? Maybe if u just try opening up to them u might not feel as suffocated as u are right now."
"And your friend would definitely not want to see u in such a state right now. Right now whether u want to open up to them is your choice but I would still encourage u to do so." Seungkwan said before leaving.
'What should i even do now....'
Timeskip
Currently standing in front of the girls dorm u were afraid that they would berate u for lashing out at Chaeyeon.
'I'm gonna have to apologise to her later'
Taking a deep breath u opened the door only to see no one in the living room.
"Where did they go?"
As u wondered where the girls went u walked up to your room only to be surprised when u opened your door.
"Y/N we need to talk."