A/N: Date night Pt1
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EZRA ▪︎ POV
I stared down at my laptop, cupping a mug of coffee in my hands to keep them warm. I felt the tension in my face as I stared hard at the financial report on the screen, my brain making mental calculations, risk and benefit analysis and of course, moral evaluations. I told myself repeatedly that I couldn't be emotional while I did this, and of course it would be stupid if I didn't ask for a second and third objective opinion, but right now, I let my brain work over the facts.
I scrolled through the accounting books, then the annual reports over the last six years. I compared them, double checked them, went back and forth between files and feedback over the period from our business executives. My chest was tight, my eyes focused and I was completely lost to my persona as a business man as I got swept up in the task at hand. In the end, I slumped back, letting out a tense breath of air.
It could work. We could do it.
If I was going to divorce Renee, I had decided that I needed to cut all unnecessary ties to her aside from Ollie, and right now, the biggest connection between us was the partnership between Evan and I's company and her father's. It was a huge decision, one I couldn't make by myself and would have to take to the board of directors, but it was something I could certainly look into as one of the owners so that I was ready when it was time to make my case.
I couldn't use my divorce as an excuse to make such a big decision, but the facts were there. Over the past two years, the direct benefits from the partnership were minimal and as we were the larger firm, my father in law's company was benefiting more out of our exposure and size, than we were from them. There was nothing their firm was giving us that we weren't already doing or doing better. It was like we were powering through and leaving gifts behind for them along the way. The 'partnership' was not at all equal - it never had been.
I realised as I looked over the accounts, that my father's decision was based purely on his friendship with Renee's father and our marriage. It was networking and crowd pleasing, not smart business strategy at all. Well, I was hoping to change that. There was the legal side breaking out of a contract would lead to, but I could take care of that when the time came. Right now, my options were to buy out the company and do a complete takeover, or just break the contract all together.
I was leaning towards the former. It was brutal, but what business wasn't? It took out the competition and we could expand our direct workforce, while also cutting out the bureaucracy that came with consulting in a partnership. Our business had the investment funds to do so and I believed the benefits would outweigh the risks in the long term. The only problem would be that Renee's dad would loose ownership of his company and their higher ups would be out of a job to mine.
But... in the end it would always be my business over theirs and... I could finally get rid of the connection that got me in this mess with Renee in the first place. They manipulated me for the money and all these years, they'd been winning, but I finally felt like I could take back control. I smiled, closing the laptop screen, feeling a little less caged in.
This move would be a big fuck you to my parents and hers and some sick part of me looked forward to seeing their shocked faces when they finally found out about this. I couldn't allow them to string me along anymore. I had to fight back.
Tonight I had my date with Jae and I was looking forward to seeing him after the long second half to the week I'd had. Sometimes, I found it a little bit intimidating how much I thought about him during the days and nights we were apart. His upbeat personality, his smile, his touch, his everything. I wanted to be around him more and more and that sort of longing was admittedly scary.
Was I falling for him too quickly? Was I getting too comfortable? When I thought back to how swiftly I had jumped into things with Renee and how badly that had gone, moving so quickly now with Jae was terrifying. I was almost anticipating something going wrong. I was waiting for him to turn around and call me naive for falling in love with him. I was waiting for him to betray me.
Jae wouldn't do that - at least I believed in him enough to trust that he really was a good person who wouldn't intentionally hurt me. But there was still the engraved fear that I was being used or taken advantage of, or... the love wasn't mutual. Was I really ready for heart break round two? Was I ready to drag Ollie into the cross fire once more?
I thought back to how much my little boy had spoken and laughed the day he met Jae. My shy baby had come right out of his shell after only an hour of coaxing. He'd been so freaking adorable toddling around in his little outfit, mumbling happily to himself as he excitedly played with his new medical kit. And hearing him voice what he was thinking so much more that day had me close to tears because it was so rare. Jae had brought out a side to Ollie that was almost always hidden away.
I remembered Jae making an effort to interact with Ollie and make him laugh in any way he could. He would pretend to faint and roll off the couch without any regard for any real injuries while calling out dramatically to a giggling Ollie that he needed help. Ollie had been right on over, squealing uncontrollably as he knocked Jae on the forehead with his stethoscope
Jae would jerk and I'd snort a laugh because it had to hurt, but he'd remain in character, un-responsive until Ollie got close enough. Then he'd sweep Ollie up in his arms and tickle him with a shout that he was all better. Ollie probably had more fun in one day with Jae, then he'd had all year and that was saying something since Evan was normally the only other person who could get Ollie to interact with him. Uncle Evan was bound to be pissed he had new competition in the Ollie entertainment department. The thought made me smile.
... But that was exactly the problem. I was sitting here swooning over seeing Jae with my son, as though we were all going to one day be the happiest family in the world and it would make me the most content man ever to see Jae taking care of my kid. Ollie loved him and would call him dad and...
What if things didn't get that far? What if this was too dangerous to risk? What if... he hurt Ollie and I before I knew what was happening.
I rubbed my palm down my face, frowning at the dark direction my thoughts had taken. I was over reacting, being too pessimistic, but I couldn't help the underlying urge I had to protect myself and my child.
In that moment, the kitchen door swung open and the quick pitter patter of small feet dashing across the tiles filled the air. I held my hands out expectantly, leaning down from where I sat on the breakfast stool at the island, just in time for Ollie to jump into my arms. He was scrambling, kicking his legs frantically as he climbed my body.
I raised an eyebrow in confusion as I lifted him to my chest. Why was he.... ah.
"Ollie! You're not escaping this time!" Renee came storming in right behind him, scowling at our son who had buried his face against my chest, refusing to look at her. "I ran the bath ten minutes ago, it's going to get cold. Ezra, will you take that damn thing off him!"
Ollie shook his head, burying deeper as he fisted his Doc McStuffins outfit. He had been refusing to take it off since the day Jae gifted it too him and by now, it was stained with food and needed a good wash.Ollie was also grubby and couldn't avoid a bath any longer - the wipes just weren't cutting it anymore.
I pulled the toddler back and tilted his head up, his green eyes were wide and pleading, staring right into my soul. No, damn it, don't look at me like that. I sucked in a deep breath and put on a stern face. "It's time to take it off, sweetheart. Have a bath, I'll wash your doc costume and then you can wear it again another day."
Ollie let out a whimper of protest and then the tears came flooding out. I swore under my breath, quickly working to strip him naked since it was clear he planned on crying this one out. I gently pulled the top up and over his head and then pulled the leggings down his short legs while he continued to wail in betrayal. Then I pressed a kiss to his pink cheek, ruffled his curly hair and passed him back to his mother.
Instead of thanking me, Renee sighed disapprovingly, shaking her head. "This is the first time he's ever behaved like a brat. You need to stop spoiling him, and you can put that outfit in the bin while you're at it," she mumbled with a huff, leaving the room briskly.
I'd been hearing the same thing since Wednesday. Instead of acknowledging the fact that our son had found something he was passionate about - being a doctor and healing people - she was more concerned about the fact that the Doc McStuffins outfit was for girls.
Apparently, she would never forgive me if Ollie turned out to be a lover of men, like his cheating scum of a father. Because of course little boys who liked girly things always turned out to have any sexuality other than straight which was just... unacceptable! I rolled my eyes at her ignorance, standing to dump the rest of my now cool coffee in the sink.
Then I turned and put Ollie's costume in the washing machine because there was no way I was throwing it in the bin. If she did so herself while I was gone, I would simply buy him another one. She wouldn't be able to break him down like she'd done to me, no way.
For the rest of the day, I finished off work and had a very long phone conversation with Evan that somehow ended up changing from business talk to love talk. He called me stupid when I confessed my worries about my relationship with Jae and where it would go. 'Heartbreak happens, you gotta take the risk, because you could be giving up something beautiful before even giving it a chance'.
He said it poetically and with a matter of fact tone that made me slump with longing because that was the brave way to go about things. I wanted Jae, I wanted him to be my light after I escaped from this darkness and well... I wasn't ready to give up on things just yet. Evan managed to convince me to go after this because he was right. I could never be sure how things would turn out but I couldn't give up on Jae.
Evan also threatened to beat me up if I bailed and took the easy way out. Then, he proceeded to casually fill me in about his newest love conquest, Jeremiah who also happened to be one of Jae's friends and work colleagues. I didn't know if it was messy to be so connected with our men, but I was happy for him regardless.
I told Jae that I would pick him up at eight, so I got ready an hour early, showering, shaving and dressing in a long sleeve black shirt, dark blue denim jeans and my white sneakers since this was more of a casual date. I felt my heart begin to pound a little bit faster with excitement as time moved along. I'd missed Jae and I couldn't wait to see him again. He was like my happy drug at the end of a rough week, the only time I could really let go.
Forty minutes later and I was outside of Jae's apartment door, knocking on the the wood with my fist. The door swung open a little too quickly, revealing the cute fact that he must have been eagerly waiting somewhere nearby. The easy smile on my face faded the moment he appeared however, and my throat went dry.
Jae grinned, cocking his hip and twiddling his fingers at me. "Good evening, Mister CEO."
My eyes looked him up and down as a shock wave of appreciation hit me. It should have been impossible to look a combination of both cute and down right sexy at the same time, but Jae was currently making it work. The deadly concoction was scrambling my brain and I had to swallow hard to get my voice working again.
"Hi," I rasped, unable to stop lust from making my voice deeper. I felt flustered as I rubbed the back of my hot neck. "You ready to go?"
Jae tilted his head, his black hair flopping to one side. It was pushed back off his face with a thin, silver head band, displaying his handsome face. Those dark, hooded eyes were glistening and he had a freshly shaven square jaw. I noticed the small hoops in his ears, maybe five or six on each that ran from the lobe, all the way up to the helix.
An oversized, grey sweater with a cute looking polar bear face on the front made him look adorable as it drowned his torso and arms. But the silver chains around his neck completely contradicted the item of clothing.
When he pulled back his sweater paws to reveal black painted nails, I felt the uncontrollable rush of blood through my body run south to my awakening erection. There was just something so sinfully arousing about seeing him wearing nail polish that I didn't know I liked until now.
Jae's legs were tightly hugged in ripped, black skinny jeans and he also wore white sneakers. The man stepped forward, and boldly cupped my erection, still smiling that sexy, cheeky smile as he pushed himself right up against me. I wrapped my arms around his back with a low curse against his ear.
"You better let go baby, or we're not leaving for this date," I warned him, trailing my lips from his ear and across his smooth jaw. Jae simply giggled like a teenager, tilting his head pliantly for me.
"I have no complaints. I've missed you," he hummed, removing his hand and instead trailing his palm up my stomach to rest it in the centre of my chest. I pecked the side of his mouth, before gripping his chin and tilting his head back for a long awaited deep kiss.
His lips were soft and willing, kissing me back with heat and force. He tasted like strawberry sweets, as though he'd been chewing gummies not too long ago. I groaned into his mouth, letting go of his chin to tug on his hair. Why did he have to taste so good? And why was I stupid enough to think I could ever give up on this?
When my chest began to tighten from lack of air, I slowed the kiss and eventually broke it, swiping my tongue along his damp bottom lip. Jae moaned deeply, before blinking open his eyes and peering up at me. I smiled, taking his hand and interlacing our fingers.
"You missed me, or you're horny? Which one is is?" I teased and he gave my chest a light smack.
"Both, big head. Let's go, before I let you pull my pants down and do me in the hall way. I don't want Patty from next door calling the cops on us for indecent exposure," he chuckled, stepping out of his door frame and closing the door behind him. Jae locked it with one hand and then shoved his keys in his back pocket.
I laughed, holding his warm hand tightly as we made our way towards the elevator. "Are we walking or driving?"
"Mmmm, driving. Can I drive your car?! I promise I won't kill us, plus, I've never driven a Range Rover! Let me pretend I can afford car insurance and petrol for one day?," he spun around, giving me puppy eyes as the elevator lowered us to the ground floor.
I raised one eyebrow in apprehension, scanning his face. "Do you even have your license?"
"Yup, I got it a while ago but I remember everything, I swear!" He shrugged one shoulder, playfully swinging our linked arms. "Please! Please let me drive your cool car for ten minutes!"
I tilted my head, before slowly handing over my car keys. I couldn't say no when he was looking at me like that, and well, I did have insurance. If he was a shitty driver then I could just switch with him before anyone got hurt.
"Fuck yeah!" Jae skipped the rest of the way over to my car and happily bounced into the driver's seat. I shook my head, trailing a lot less enthusiastically over to the passenger side door and sliding inside.
"Awe," Jae was fiddling with the rear view mirror. "Ollie's car seat is too cute. How is he doing?"
I smiled, securing my seatbelt as I answered. "He's fine. I've started potty training and that's been... interesting." I confided the fact without thinking, before clenching my fist and internally smacking myself. He doesn't want to hear about my kid learning to use the toilet while we're on a date.
I was about to apologise, but Jae was already speaking, his tone light as he turned on the engine and easily pulled the SUV out of the parking space and onto the road. He wasn't lying when he said he could drive and I relaxed, trying to stop myself from staring at him too much because he looked really sexy behind the wheel of my car, especially because of those nails.
"You know kids these days have singing potties right? How insane is that?" Jae snorted, his eyes focused on the road. I laughed, because it truly was insane.
While searching for a potty for Ollie, I had come across many types, such as a Mickey mouse one that clapped when you flushed it, to a singing potty that played music while the baby pooped. So fucking weird. I'd just bought one of the simple, plastic ones and it worked for the most part.
"Ollie's not really sure about it. He likes his pull ups," I admitted, remembering the way he'd looked at the potty as though it was going to eat him if he sat on it. I managed to convince him to use it once and I had to hold his hand the entire time.
"Well... babies live like royalty so I'm not surprised," Jae laughed. "Do you think you'll want more kids one day?"
"I've never really thought about it. I'm still kind of getting the hang of having one, but I think maybe a lot later on I would," I thought out loud, suddenly imagining a miniature Jae running around my legs in circles. "You?"
"After I go sky diving," Jae hummed, leaning forward and sticking his tongue out as he sped up on the highway. "Just in case I die."
I laughed, turning to stare at him. "Why would you die? Actually, why would you go in the first place if you think you're going to die?"
"I've always wanted to do it," he grinned, sparing me a quick glance. "It'll be like throwing a chicken off a roof. Throw a human out of a plane! Both, flightless, but both have dreams of flying! Haven't you ever wandered what it's like to freefall?"
I just blinked at him, a little baffled. A chicken? What did chickens have to do with sky diving? "Umm... no."
Jae simply snickered. "My balls are bigger than yours," he boasted, doing a wiggly dance in his seat.
"You're so childish," was my laughed response.
Ten minutes later and we were pulling into a retail park that held an arcade, bowling alley and a cinema as well as some fast food restaurants. Jae was apparently good at driving, but sucked at parking so, I parked the car while he stood off to the side like a cheerleader, praising me and clapping his hands way too loudly.
"I can't wait to thrash you at table hockey!" He grabbed my hand, tugging me excitedly into the arcade and I couldn't help the permanent grin plastered on my face as we entered.
It was really busy, as expected on a saturday night. There was chatter and loud music playing throughout the space and the lights from all of the games had neon glows flashing everywhere. I kept a tight hold on Jae's hand so that I didn't loose him in the crown. Not that there was a big chance in that happening, since we were both tall guys, but I liked the sense of security holding his hand gave me.
We took out a handful of coins from the machines at the entrance and Jae headed straight for a free hockey table. He was practically buzzing as he ushered me over to one side.
"I won't go easy on you, just because you're cute," I told him seriously, dropping some coins into the slot on the side of the table and he straighted up, lifting his chin in reply.
"Don't kid yourself, honey. Get ready to cry." Jae licked his lips, shoved his sleeves up his forearms and grabbed a striker, just as the buzzer sounded and the table lit up.
The puck was released and then we were both aggressively trying to slam it down the opposite end of the table. Jae was so fucking dramatic and I was laughing my ass off at each enraged outcry whenever I scored or he missed a shot. It became clear that I was a lot better than him at table hockey and after I won the first round, he won the next.
There was a lot of cheating involved on his end that I loved him enough not to call out. Such as purposely going out of his way to flash his ass at me whenever the puck flew off the table and he rushed to pick it up. His yelled 'oh my god look at that!' trick stopped working after his second decoy attempt. But that didn't stop him from shamelessly batting his eyelashes at me and running his pointer finger with that damn painted nail across his bottom lip, distracting me for a few seconds long enough for him to score.
By the fifth game, I beat Jay three to two and he was very unhappy with the results. I smirked, holding out my hand and beckoning him closer to me. He pouted, crossing his arms and looking away with a huff that made me snicker. "Don't be a salty loser darlin','' I teased him, moving closer since he stubbornly refused to come to me.
"I'm not salty. Come, I'll thrash you at shooting zombies. You know my great grandma was like a war lord," he finally gave me his hand, pulling me over to a shooting booth with plastic guns hooked up to a very noisy machine with zombies painted up the sides.
There were a couple of teenagers in the one beside us, but I didn't pay any mind to the guys and girls making noise, instead, focusing on Jae who was jabbing buttons with his tongue poking out in determination. "Do you see much of your family back in Korea?"
"Not really. I went for vacation once when I was like eleven and met my grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins. I'm not close with them, but I say hi when mom occasionally video calls. I guess that can't be helped," he admitted, picking up a gun.
"Does it bother you?" I asked softly, trying to wonder what it felt like to be in his position, away from your family. I knew first hand that family wasn't everything, but if they were genuine, then he might have missed out on some great relationships.
"It did at first. All of my other cousins know each other like best friends and well I was always the odd american kid. But I got over it and made some friends here in the states just like me. There might not be a lot of us here, but the korean immigrant community is strong. Plus, my mom made me do chores for other neighbours so, I have a lot of family fill ins," he grinned at me, shrugging his shoulders and making his over sized sweater bounce.
"That must be reassuring. I'm happy you found your place here, and I'm thankful to your parents because if they'd never brought you here, I wouldn't have met you," I admitted and he grinned, bumping me with his shoulder and passing me a gun.
"Aww, such a romantic," he chuckled, hopping up to sweetly kiss my cheek. "I'm still gonna kick your ass though."
I gave him a mock disapproving tut, shaking my head. "All this big talk, yet you lost the last game. Don't get your hopes up, baby."
Jae smacked me on the arm before jabbing the start button and focusing in on the game. While we played the overly graphic video game, shooting zombies in the head with unnecessary brain and blood splatter, I found myself watching Jae more than the screen.
He was definately competitive and there were a lot of small habits I was picking up on that made me fall for him even more. Like the way he switched to korean while cursing in a rant. The way he was a pouter whenever things didn't go his way and a definate screamer whenever things did. He was just bright and loud and fun. He was so different from anyone I'd ever been with.
I liked his different. I needed his different.
"Ha! You lost!" Jae placed the gun back in it's holder, turning to face me with a shit eating grin. "Now I know who's ass I have to save first if we do ever find ourselves facing the zombie apocalypse."
I hadn't even realised the game had ended. Jae was taking over my thoughts, even while I was with him. "I'll remember you said this. Don't complain when you end up having to drag my useless self all over America, fighting for the both of us to survive."
He snorted a laugh, easily slipping his hand into mine as we searched for another game to play. "I'll be your hero, babe. Don't you worry."
He was joking and talking in the context of zombies, but my heart definitely overlooked those facts and began to beat rapidly in my chest with excitement. 'I'll be your hero'. He didn't know the weight his words held and how he was already playing into that role right now. Maybe it was childish, or even naive and dangerous of me to be viewing him in such a way, but he was already saving me. He was making me want to fight for my life back and in that sense, he really was my hero.
"Ooh! Let's go dance!"
"I don't dance-"
"You do now old man! Get to it, I wanna see that booty shake!"
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