The hallways had already emptied out almost entirely, leaving Nessa with a bit more solidarity in his actions. If the pathways hadn't been so open, he wouldn't have had a clue as to where he was headed. He would have had to ask for directions again.
However, that hadn't been the case, and after wandering down two wrong halls, he finally found himself in the right wing. Spotting the same old door as he had taken note of the last time he was there, Nessa let out a triumphant breath. He was relieved to not have to give up entirely, which was unfortunately not an uncommon occurrence for him.
When he stepped inside, he was met with the vague smell of dust and yellow paper. He liked that smell a lot though, it reminded him of his old school, and the library that had been there. But that one was more used than this one, which always seemed to be nearly empty. Save for a few regulars and the kids who had detention.
The librarian glanced his way, but didn't bother to greet him. He assumed that she simply didn't care, and was probably tired of having to watch over the empty room everyday. Nessa simply ignored her and pressed on. If he recalled correctly, the new books section was straight down the center of the library, against the back wall. But of course, he wasn't sure at all if that was true or not, and he started to wonder if he was going to have to search everywhere for it or—
Nope. There stood just a few paces in front of him, offering a cursory glance over all of the books, stood a very tall Ian. His black hair seemed to have been freshly cropped, just as it always had, and he wore the same sort of outfit that screamed academic perfection. Grey slacks and a black sweater over a white button up.
Nessa took notice of the fact that Ian did not seem very vigilant. Though he was very tall, and appeared fit, he didn't seem to have any awareness for his surroundings. That was what made it so easy for Nessa to sneak up on him. Unlike Venice, who had been ready to kill Nessa before he even made his presence known.
It gave him enough time to take a look at the book that Ian had plucked off of the shelf and was now inspecting more thoroughly. It was titled Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo. Nessa hadn't read that one, but he had read the Six of Crows duology. Since he really liked those books, he assumed that that one was good as well.
"She's a good author." Nessa said, and Ian dropped the book as he jumped.
There was an awkward pause in which Ian just stared dumbfounded, trying to gather his thoughts as he processed how silent Nessa must have been. Ian didn't even have a clue that someone else was right there, staring at him. Or maybe he hadn't been? He didn't know, since he hadn't been paying attention enough to.
He felt his face warm up, and in that brief moment, he was grateful for his dark skin. It wouldn't be very easy to tell that he was blushing. Doing his best to collect himself, he leaned down and picked the book up. The dust jacket was slick in his hands, but he tried to pretend as though it wouldn't be so easy to drop it a second time.
Oh, how he did not like the way Nessa made him so flustered. The last person to do that had been Emily, and even that was different. She made him want to tilt his nose up to the sky and offer the word a smirk. Because someone as badass as her had been his, and no one else's. However, Nessa made him want to drink hot chocolate on a comfortable carpet while wearing an oversized sweater.
But not because he was his, simply because he was that damn attractive. And mysterious. Ian had spent the last few days thinking about what it was that drew him in so much, and he was sure that there was no way other people hadn't been as entranced by him, to which he concluded had to do with that slight edge he reflected.
People love the unknown, and that look Nessa always had was very unknown. He peered at the world as though he was starving, and no matter how much he ate, he would never be full.
"Curiosity, especially intellectual inquisitiveness, is what separates the truly alive from those who are merely going through the motions."
—Tom Robbins
Ian wasn't really sure what made him think of that quote, but it happened to pop up in the back of his mind. Nessa was certainly going through the motions based off of how utterly inquisitive he always seemed. He had liked Emily because she didn't care about anything. Not the world, not the man, not anyone or anything. But he was fairly sure that Nessa made him flustered for the opposite reason. Because he cared about everything. The world, the man, anyone and anything.
"Um, yeah." He scratched the back of his neck, turning the book over in his palm. "I read—"
"Six of Crows." The last part had been spoken in unison. Ian wasn't sure what he was expecting, especially given the fact that it was such a popular novel that most avid readers had thoroughly enjoyed. His favorite character had been Jesper.
"That's why I picked it up." Ian shrugged, trying to use the action as a way to let off some of his anxiety. Nessa was at least six inches shorter and he wore pale blue dungarees, for Christ's sake. There was no reason for him to feel so nervous.
"Figured. Get back to me on whether or not that's good." He smiled a wonderfully pleasant smile, before casually sliding his hands into his pockets.
With a start, Ian suddenly crouched down and opened up his backpack—which had been propped up against the shelf by his feet. His hands fumbled around until they latched onto what he had been looking for. He held the book out for Nessa to grab. "I finished this one by the way. It was definitely worth it."
"Thanks." With that one word, his smile went from a polite and soft one, to a pleased grin. Holy shit. It somehow made him even more beautiful. Ian thought he might be nauseous.
He had always been an arrogant and relatively narcissistic person, which made anyone more attractive than himself untrustworthy. Even more so when he didn't know what to think of them. Yet, in that moment, he only felt more enticed by it.
"I read The Darkest Part of the Forest." This time, it was Nessa's turn to reach into his satchel and pull out a book of his own. He held onto it with a particular fondness. Though, Ian could have only been making that part up. "I loved it! My favorite character was Severin."
A sudden wave of relief that Ian hadn't even known he had been waiting for washed over him. If Nessa knew his name, then he must have read it. "He was my favorite too."
"Thank you for recommending it, I love reading books like those." Though Ian wasn't entirely sure what that meant, he simply smiled in response.
"Cool, I'm glad you liked it." There was an awkward silence that made Ian regret his choice of words. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck while glancing around. A short and stout boy with obnoxiously square glasses was giving them a look as he walked passed.
"The fuck do you want?" Ian growled, glaring at him. The boy practically shit his pants, quickly looking away as he scurried off.
"Are you always like that?" Nessa suddenly asked. Ian felt his face heat up once more when he remembered that Nessa was watching.
A guilty expression took over his face as he shrugged. "Pretty much."
When the boy took one last glance their way before turning the corner, Ian gave him another look that said he was going to die any second if he didn't get a move on. He disappeared from view and Ian once more relaxed.
"Do you have any friends?" That question had not been one Ian was expecting. He flinched.
"Um... maybe one?" He flinched again at his own uncertainty. Could he even classify Kiwi as a friend? They hardly even spoke, but he was the only one who still stuck around after the breakup. He was kind like that, so he figured that Kiwi probably just assumed everyone he spoke to was his friend.
"You shouldn't scowl so often, you have a very kind face when you're not." Nessa said it as though it was a perfectly normal statement. However, Ian did not take it in such a way. His mind was racing over what that even meant?
A kind face? Was that a good thing? Ian was very narcissistic about his appearance, knowing damn well that he was attractive. Was that was Nessa meant? Why did he even care so much?!
"I'm just going to pretend like I know what that means." He furrowed his brow and tried to study Nessa's expression, noticing the way Nessa seemed to crumble for only a moment, before regaining his composure. Ian wanted desperately to understand what that meant.
"Anyway." He suddenly said, smiling almost blankly as he turned back to the books. "Do you have a favorite book?"
Trying to bring his thoughts back to reality, Ian wracked his brain for an answer. But his brain couldn't seem to come up with one. "Give me a moment to decide. Do you?"
A suddenly excited grin splayed out on his perfect face as he responded without hesitation, "Alice in Wonderland."
Ian couldn't help but snort. "How childish."
Nessa didn't even seem to react. "Have you decided yet?"
There was a pause in which Ian pursed his lips. Then finally, he shrugged and said, "Dante's Inferno."
"How adult." Nessa replied, and Ian couldn't help but accept the challenge. After all, he had been a dick. That initial fire of excitement seemed to have fallen into a light ember.
"I suppose."
Sometimes he really wondered why he had to do that—make what was once a lighthearted conversation into an awkward exchange. All it ever took was one rude comment, and then everything was ruined. That was how he managed to keep an unfortunate distance from the universe around him. It was ironic to say the least, that he had such a passion for knowledge and yet he couldn't seem to stop destroying everything around him.
Maybe this exchange wasn't that bad, but other memories couldn't help but resurface as he thought about all of his flaws. No matter how many times Ian tried to keep himself from disrupting a calm pond, he simply couldn't stop kicking up sand.
"I need to get going." Nessa's voice startled Ian for a moment, before he found himself nodding guiltily. He couldn't help but feel like this was his fault.
"Sure, I should probably go too." As the words left his mouth, he realized that he hadn't actually picked out a new book yet. Then his thoughts wandered back to Ninth House, and he concluded that that book was simply going to have to do.
Already starting to walk off, Nessa didn't say a word. Ian wanted to try to salvage the experience, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was his comment that disrupted the peace, or something more that he didn't understand.
Watching silently as Nessa disappeared towards the front desk, Ian leaned his head back against the bookshelf. What was this boy doing to him? It was starting to piss him off. If he just kept his walls up and stopped letting others in, then the problems would stop arising. There would never be another Emily situation. He couldn't take another one of those. Hell, he couldn't even take the first one.
But the way Nessa's smile was so utterly intoxicating, it felt like being put under a spell, which sounded so cheesy, but was very true. A scoff slipped from his throat as he thought about how stupid he sounded. He didn't even know Nessa, and they had hardly even spoken. There was just some odd factor to the boy that he didn't understand. Something otherworldly to the way he carried himself. It drew people in.
When Ian refocused on his surroundings, he found that same boy from earlier facing the bookshelf, but was gazing his way curiously. Ian mustered up his best scowl and hissed, "The fuck did I tell you?" When the boy only stared in shock, Ian added. "You want to die?"
He quickly got the memo, turning and running off again. Ian rolled his eyes at how pathetic that poor kid was. He was probably pissing himself, thinking that Ian's moment of vulnerability meant that he was truly harmless. And maybe to some degree he was, at least he wouldn't actually hurt someone like that. Not unless he truly knew them, because that was when he could never stop himself.
Ian pushed away from the bookcase, tossing his bag over his shoulder as he began to walk. However, before he went to check out his new book, he stopped in the theatre section of the library. Feeling stupid, he quickly found Romeo and Juliet. Of course Ian had already read the play, several times at that—but there was an annoying nagging voice telling him to read it again, though he wasn't sure why.
As he approached the front desk, a sudden pestering thought similar to a buzzing fly started to annoy him. Love at first sight. That was why he wanted to reread the play so bad. He swallowed down the need to scream, and handed the two books to the librarian with a hidden red face.