CHAPTER 65: Tsuen Imperfections
I stared out into the snow, the window was closed against my desire to step out and cherish the cold the way I knew how...shattering my bones, but my heart desired the ice-cold teeth biting and nipping at my toes. All while my mind runs marathons on the revelation of Kenji's involvement with the institute and Forthright's death. I could not make sense of either. the murder of Forthright shouldn't have penetrated me so, let alone made me mourn him, even a little.
I couldn't deny nor confirm whether I feel he meant well in the way he handled things with me. The way he handled those cases and my own involvement, he scared me to the point where I believed he was the killer.
I never had the time to speak with Forthright about what he found, why he did what he did, and acted the way he did around me. His love cannot have been so strong as to do what he did. The way he tried to protect me is what creeped me out more. Edmund lied, but his love for me isn't that of a lie. I can see that clearly as he turned me from the conflicting reflection of my pale and concerned face from the window and turned me up towards him. Our height difference made it difficult for him to lean his forehead so easily against mine, so he wasted no time lifting me to wrap my legs around his torso.
I curl my fingers around his neck, "This is too much at once." I whisper to him, swallowing.
"Which is why I want you to talk to me." He murmurs in earnest.
I close my eyes, "I just don't know what to think anymore. What Kenji did...and Forthright. I should have spoken with him. I just... I hated the way I felt around him." I whisper in defeat.
He stiffens, "Felt?" He whispers with a masked expression.
I lean back and scale his silver eyes, "Fear, Edmund. I masked it for so long, but I was terrified of him. I thought he was trying to take advantage of me, I despised how he looked at me, I gutted ever being in his presence, and I hated that I couldn't stand on my own when I shouldn't have leaned on you so much to keep Forthright away. I'm not saying I'm not thankful that you were there when I felt sick to my stomach just looking at him. I wanted a strength that was built on independence....sole independence." I whisper, confessing what I've held in for almost ten months.
His masked expression fades into something else, "You were...afraid of him?"
I lean my arms on his broad shoulders as he mindlessly stops his swaying, holding one arm underneath me and the other smoothing against the small of my back; I close my eyes, "I thought he hurt Bella, Stella, Corinne...even Charlize...and I thought he was going to do the same to me, Edmund. Did you sense he was too forward with me during those compulsory sessions on the first day you showed me around? Too open, too charming?" I ask him, trailing my eyes past his sharp nose and towards those eyes that swirl dangerous thoughts back to when we made love by my fireplace back at the academy, such a predatory mane yet a gentle caress and a claim in his mind.
He squeezes his eyes shut, "He acted pedophilic, and that's what triggered..." He trails off, taking a deep breath and softly swaying us with me still flushed to his chest and in his arms. It was lulling me to sleep even during such a serious conversation.
He sighs in defeat, "I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. The signs were there, but I wasn't seeing them, and I should have." He whispers.
I hold him tighter, "That's not what I am getting at, Edmund. You were there for me as you are now. As you said, we-as a couple-were merely hitting an obstacle in our relationship that we have overcome. Though...I do ask that you tone down your possessive tendencies." I giggle as he quirks a raised eyebrow, pausing in his swaying.
He looks up and laughs, "I thought you liked such possessive qualities of mine? It certainly turns you into a minx in the bedroom, lemon." He chuckles, staring down at me knowingly as I gape up at him.
"I do not, you delusional lunatic." I gasp out.
He sways us once again, "I can't believe you haven't noticed," He murmurs to himself before smiling down at me, "You like it when I'm more domineering in bed." He nudges his nose and taps mine before sliding the tip horizontally against me, nuzzling me like a giant lion.
I bite my smile, "You get all predatory and masculine. What girl wouldn't like that?" I say, rolling my eyes.
He pulls my lip from my torturous teeth, tsk-ing, and tut-ing. His thumb draws an admiring and mesmerizing pattern against the plum skin, the pad of his finger not only placing its print on my skin, a hidden claim, but he looks as though he was painting his colour on my lips too, "Believe me when I say that predatory doesn't even begin to describe what I feel when we're one," He breathes out.
I shiver, smiling softly, "So damn hot when you say stuff like that." I whisper, almost mewling at the sight of him. He chuckles delicately, cupping my cheek in his hand and tightening his grip under me with the other. I hold him exponentially close. I breathe him in, the same fresh garden and forestry waterfall scent that crashes through me like waves on a pedestal, rolling with never-ending speed. I bathed in him with no restriction and no judgment.
He tilts my head gently and flutters his full lips against mine. My heart thunders and my arms weaken when he closes the distance completely and passionately molds his lips to mine. I was breathless before, but now I was in danger of fainting in his arms. He slides his fingers in my hair, pulling back just one breath away from my lips, "We haven't spoken about Kenji." He whispers.
I raise an eyebrow, "Is it strange that you're the one bringing him up right when we're getting into a pretty heated moment?" I giggle, surprised.
He groans, "You're right; I'm turning into you." He says, raising an eyebrow, acting surprised. His silver eyes grow mirthful as he stares down at me indecipherably.
I tap the back of his head, "Edmund." I merely say his name.
He sighs and takes a slow seat on the bed, legs leaning off the side with me snuggled on his lap and my legs still around his torso. I slide my hands down his deliciously chiseled chest. I look into his eyes while his hands slide up and down my waist, "Did you know he'd gone to the institute?" I whisper solemnly.
He shook his head, "I would have never guessed either. They were built on discipline and punishment of the worst kind, and yet he left without a scratch. I suspect someone in the Matrix gave Hideyoshi the suggestion of going to the institute because they're a family close to yours. The headmistress plucks information from you and uses pain to do it, punishment-to do it. She may have used it on him." He whispers the possibility.
My heart clamps shut.
"You mean...she could have asked him for information on my family?" I whisper, eyes penetrating the space between his pecs.
"It's a possibility." He says, his hands smooth a longing hold against my ribs.
I close my eyes, "The pain he must have gone through...and...Mira's miscarriage." I whisper in slow shock.
Edmund rubs my back, "I know this will sound overbearing and possessive of me, but lemon-I don't want him anywhere near you if that has the strong possibility of harming you in ways he may not be able to stop. I don't know what kind of drug he was hooked on, but mistaking his mother in their home...that's messed up." He murmurs delicately. He stares into my eyes, attempting to read my thoughts in my expressions.
I close my eyes against his shoulder, running my wedding finger down the plum and protruding muscle that taunt and lure me in so tremendously, "I know, Edmund. I'm just...still trying to process it." I breathe out.
He holds the back of my head and massages my neck, "I don't recall seeing him at the institute. I knew different sections of the academy were more secluded than others. The ring is one of them and a section for highly respected or important children with extensive families. His-Kenji's-must have been one of them. He may not have been punished as much as I." He whispers against my ear, sitting up on the mattress with me standing in-between his legs, my chemise reaches my thighs as his hands slide to my hips, and he kisses the silk covering my navel.
I run my fingers through his hair. He leans his forehead against my abdomen, pulling me closer with his arms wrapped tightly around the backs of my thighs. I close my eyes, "I saw how Kenji was looking at you when he explained what he did. To his mother." He murmurs.
I purse my lips, still running my fingernails down his scalp. He shivers once, surprising me, but he continues, "He may be in love with you-God knows I would have easily done the same had we met as children and in different circumstances from my childhood-it seems the only probable calming mechanism for him...is you." He whispers, leaning back to look up at me.
I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head as I cup his cheeks in cold hands, smoothing my thumbs along his sharp cheekbones, prominent and enlightening, "And yet, I have my hands full with you, fiancé." I say girlishly. He bites his smile as he nudges his head towards the fireplace.
I roll my eyes, "Seriously?"
He plays with the silk hem of my chemise.
"Edmund, we're not exactly in our room, or even a private hotel room," I say, unsure.
He stands slowly, his chiseled chest over twice the width of mine slides up mine as he reaches behind me and slowly unzips my chemise while delving his head into my neck and pressing soft, flutter in kisses against the skin there. I sigh in defeat, placing a hand on his chest when the telephone on the bedside table begins to ring.
Edmund's chest rumbles, "I'll go get everything ready." He murmurs, low and steady as he presses one long kiss against my lips. Before I could respond, he's walking towards the door, locking it, and moving a couple of couches...he's that determined.
I roll my eyes at his antics, gliding my fingers around the phone and answering the call, "Hello, Melanie speaking." I answer, trying not to sound breathless as shuffles echo behind me, along with the crackling from the fireplace.
It's static before she speaks, "Getting cozy with your fiancé, are you? Have you figured out how much more he hides about how many people your man has killed? I thought you'd have figured that out right about now. Don't speak, Melanie. I don't want your boy toy spooked when I give you this information." Charlize whispers, sultrily, as if she truly enjoys sounding like she's right next to me, a silver breath behind my shoulder with a sharp tongue knife.
I clench my jaw, and she continues, "I won't risk your mother getting into the cross-fire when the time comes. I sent Thea on a long trip against Moscow and now Shanghai, where she's now enjoying her time in Paris, while I have eyes on your Uncle Ivan and poor little brother, Mathias. He looks so much like Marvin. It's rather entertaining." She giggles with a witch-like giggle.
I stiffen when the sound of curtains closing, and I slowly turn towards Edmund, who holds a finger to his lips as he leans down, his silver eyes penetrating my amethyst ones as he presses the speaker button. Her voice enters our air, "You look eerily ethereal in that chemise of yours, by the way. So very lively for someone who should be close to dead. Those guards had only one job to do and couldn't have even done that, Melanie. Though, as I was saying...what else is there to know about your handsome wrestler?" She says, chuckling now.
Edmund only stares at me; he grabs the phone from my hands and soundlessly places it on the table. Using his phone, he records it as she continues, "He's sent Sampson and his men to kill Claudius Borne and infiltrate the matrix, but what your lover doesn't know is that I am the Cordial Matrix, just like Winston was before I graduated after ruining Oswald's reputation and the rest of him. Oswald killed his mother, dear when he tried finding your Edmund. I have files upon files of his childhood-something I'm sure you're dying to see." She taunts slowly. I blink painfully.
"You'll come to the main blossom fields where your parents had their first date, in London city by eleven in the evening, in three days. If you fail...your little brother will feel what it's like to get a rusty metal bullet embedded in his skin, and let me warn you...I don't miss, bitch." She spits before hanging up.
I close my eyes.
Edmund grabs his phone and speed dials a number, "Rodgers, I need you to go to the Myer's residence in London immediately. I've sent you a tracer recording. Her name is Charlize Celestial. She may go by Charlize Northern. She's set a target for Mathias Myers. I need you to send a protection unit to his location. Send me word when you're there, thanks." He says, ending the call.
I trail my eyes up to his. He clenches his jaw, "I know what you're thinking...that is not an option." He says strictly.
I swallow, "How did you know something was wrong on the phone?" I whisper. He slides his phone down on the mattress and steps toward me. He zips my chemise back up, running his knuckles smoothly down my bare left arm.
"We need to inform your family. Rodgers and many more of my guards will be stationed at the Myer's residence in exactly one hour." He explains, grabbing one of my coats and pulling it over me quickly. He gestures. I wait for a second as he steps out, telling me he'll get my mother.
The loud thud on the deck makes me glance towards it.
I freeze at the sight of him.
He softly knocks on the door, "Please, Melanie. I promise I won't hurt you." He says through the door, muffled and sounding strained. I look at him, sighing in defeat, and grabbing my furry coat, I unlock the door slowly.
We sit opposite each other.
I stare into his eyes, "Why didn't you tell me any of this, Kenji?" I whisper to him, looking into his disheveled and hunched-over form. He fidgets, stretching and straining his fingers. His eyes dart down before they dart back up.
"I struggled for so long. Every time you flew over, I was happy. It's why I always insisted you'd stay with me. I was a wreck in secondary and high school. Bullied for merely stepping in class with braces and glasses on, not to mention I was the kid with acne all over his face, I looked like I had chickenpox for months. It didn't stop, and it just got worse. I drifted off from Dad when work got heavy, and he fought with Mom often about it." He murmurs, hands clasped together. I heard the springs of my mattress move inside. I could practically sense him behind the curtains.
Edmund stayed near but surprisingly didn't pound fists into Kenji's face.
"Some rumors were going around the school, a certain new drug supply, I can't remember the name, but it was the kind I could easily use to feel brand new, to change. It relieved my acne, my teeth were straightened, and I only needed the prescribed glasses when reading. I changed." He sighs in defeat, leaning forward and grunting under his breath.
"My mood swings grew worse after a couple of months. It was an addictive illusion that made me feel better. I stopped doubting myself. I could sleep without the stress of more panic attacks my Mom hid from my Dad. My nightmares became vivid. I felt violent. I lashed out in school, and the anxiety grew far worse than ever. I thought someone had broken into the house, both Mom and Dad were supposed to be out, and none of our guards were stationed in the kitchen at the time. I hit my Mother, Melanie, and I don't even remember it. The next day, Dad sent me to the Fitzgerald institute." He whispers, holding his head in his hands.
"The institute, it kept me isolated in a room. They used some sort of hypnotizing mechanism on me for a couple of months before returning home. I don't remember that part of my life, I just know it broke my family." He murmurs in defeat, traipsing his eyes to mine.
I swallow, "You never talked...or even mentioned this to me?" I whisper.
He gulps, "Every man you look at, Melanie...wants to be the best version of a gentleman in your eyes for every second he lives. I knew Edmund before. He was a killer, a machine of death and blood and pain. I saw him once at the institute. He's completely different because you changed him, just like I did. I understand how he thinks and acts. He is so protective over you and powerful enough to stop those guards in seconds because your life was in danger. That's why. I didn't want you to see my worst." He leans forward, staring at me in a penetrating manner.
I lean further back, feeling empty almost.
He sighs in defeat, "I just wanted to explain it to you before you leave, and know that I'd never hurt you, Melanie. I wouldn't dare lay an unwanted hand on you. I'd rather throw myself off a cliff." He says to me, leaping back over onto his balcony. A pair of dark trousers move into my line of vision, and a pair of arms lowers around me, silver eyes lower to my amethyst ones.
He leans close, "You should not be out in the cold too long." His lips move, and tender words leave them, but his grip around me as he lifts me from my seat and his shoulders hunch around me shows me more as he leads me inside and closes the sliding doors. It was barely eleven in the evening, yet he had my bag packed and ready to leave for tomorrow, where we would return to London.
Edmund snuggles me into his chest, lying on top of him as he moves horizontally against the bed. I play with his left hand while his right one trails along my navel on the chemise's silk after he removed my large coat. I run my fingers over his knuckles, memorizing and watching as he complies, "I spoke to your parents about the phone call," He says against my hair as I lift my knees and keep my feet flat against his lower legs. His shoulders hunch around mine as he locks the side of his head against mine.
I curl into him so easily, "What did they say?" I whisper in the quietest of voices. He holds his arm around me tighter, I tilt my head to the side, nuzzling his shaven cheek. He grips my hips tighter when I do. Loving the affection.
"They've sent an old friend to help? Do you know who that means?" He says, sidetracked as he trails kisses along my exposed jawline. I shake my head in a daze, closing my eyes as I turn towards him, my chest flush with his, heat rolling from him in waves.
My lips find his, "What else did they say?" I mumble against him. He cups my cheek and slams his lips against mine, a movement I should have gotten used to by now, but I most certainly wasn't when I fall to the side as he rolls over me, unable to hold his weight. He furrows his eyebrows against my forehead, pulling back for a second.
"Your Mom...she believes Charlize is planning something to lure you in," He says to me, grabbing my bottom lip between his two full, tainted pink lips and molding them together like a fixed puzzle, connecting us and sculpturing us both to fit so well, I was attuned to his every movement, "-she wants to speak more of the guards....fuck this." He says, pulling me up in a fast momentum.
Bubbles surround me.
He wanted a shared bath. We hadn't wasted time stripping and cuddling under the red hot water with vanilla essence filter in the air and supple swollen lips entangled and red. Dark red.
My hands were flattened on his pecs. The word heat couldn't even describe him right now as he holds the back of my head and slides his lips down mine. I couldn't stop the smile as he connected our foreheads, lounging into me. I traipse my fingers along his shoulder, "You didn't interfere?" I speak softly, adoring the taut skin I feel tense and relaxed at my touch.
His hand against my lower back begins massaging me, "I listened." He says gently.
I nod, his forehead still against mine, "You're beginning to trust that I know how to handle myself in such situations?" I wonder curiously as I straddle him. He leans back against the tub; the low-lit candles aren't close enough as he leans his head back, sighing against the pillow.
"I already trust you. It is Kenji who I do not trust, and for a good reason." He explains, giving me a certain look, confirming his words with a mere facial expression. He intertwined our hands in the water, moving his hands so his knuckle could skim my abdomen. He smiles softly, flattening his palm as he sits up. His cheeks are flushed, a few pitch-black strands topple over his forehead. His angular jaw smoothens.
"I like Desmond...or even Charleston if we were to have a male firstborn. I never thought about children. Even when we first started dating, lemon, I hadn't thought about it. Now, I know I want that. My little Adeline, god knows she'd have your eyes." He chuckles lightly, sliding his hands against my hips.
I felt...overwhelmed in an ice lake of frozen freshwater.
He stares at only that particular spot, "'My little lemon'-that's what I would nickname her as, I'd probably spoil her rotten, the boys as well. Becoming a father didn't mature independently, no matter how much I wished I could deny Oswald to be my biological father. I see our estate, messy with new toys, so many even thrown in the garden. Driving our kids to school-Melanie, I know it's too soon, but I want to ensure. I want to see if what I'm picturing is something you see yourself as in the future too?" He asks me,
I was...struck, truly, irrevocably stilled at his words.
I cup his cheeks, "You've...thought about names?" I whisper, shocked.
His smile reaches his eyes, and he almost looks sheepish as he confesses, "...I've already bought a couple of cribs too."
I slap him on the forehead, "Are you giving birth to all these babies?" I ask him.
"I'll change every single one of their nappies?" He negotiates.
I purse my lips, "Seriously?"
He nods with the widest smile I've seen on him, "Are you ovulating right now?" He asks me, sitting up and sounding very eager.
I fold my arms, "Two more years."
He blinks, and the smile drops, "...excuse me?"