"And she was saying exactly what I was thinking!" Eloise exclaimed, as she walked alongside Penelope. "Oh my god, I was so relieved when she pulled me away from Carrington, she literally saved me from a night of torture."
"What was her name again? Mabel?" Penelope asked.
"Yes. Mabel Hawthorne."
"That's odd. I've never heard that name before."
"Me neither. She must be new to the square. But Penelope, you have to meet her. I'm sure you two would get along great"
"Mhm," Penelope muttered.
Eloise had been talking about this 'Mabel' for the past twenty minutes, and Penelope had tuned out 5 minutes in.
Well at least she wasn't talking about Whistledown, Penelope sighed with relief as they reached the front door of the Bridgerton house.
Penelope stood in front of the door anxiously, as if something horrible waited inside for her, though she had been in their home countless times.
It had been the first time since she had left the house since her father died, and she'd forgotten what it felt like to be around people again.
She knew if she went inside, they would ask about father, and those were questions she wasn't ready to answer.
Not yet, anyway.
Her shoulders relaxed when she realized that at least Colin wouldn't be there. He was still in Greece.
She knew that if he was home and he asked her how she was doing, she would have instantly broken down and cried in his arms.
He had a way for words like that. A way where one felt seen and understood.
And he had a place in her heart just like that as well.
In these last few weeks, Penelope pondered back and forth about her feelings towards Colin.
She loved him, but she knew she just had to move on.
He was never going to reciprocate her feelings and Penelope was exhausted of walking on eggshells around him.
She also knew that she should've never had fallen in love with her best friend's brother in the first place.
So moving on was certainly a necessity.
"Is everything okay?" Eloise asked, noticing Penelope had stopped walking.
"Yes," Pen responded with a deep breath as she stepped inside the house.
It's going to be okay
she thought,
well, she hoped it would be.
~~~~~~~
Luckily for Penelope, the Bridgerton house wasn't as full as it used to be.
Less people to talk to meant less questions to answer to.
She sat in the drawing room, snacking quietly on cookies as Eloise was sprawled on the couch beside her.
Gregory and Hyacinth were running throughout the house, chasing each other.
Anthony and Benedict were out riding their horses according to their mother, "well at least that's what they told me," she chuckled.
"How are you Penelope?," Violet asked, brows furrowed with worry.
"I'm-"
But before she could answer, Eloise piped in, "Mama, I told you. Don't ask her that, she's already answered that question hundreds of times in the past few weeks."
"It's fine," Penelope responded, still grateful to Eloise for trying to make the situation less uncomfortable.
"I've been feeling better lately. It's not as bad as it was weeks ago."
That was Penelope's go-to answer.
Enough information to know she was sad (which she was), and enough to know she was better (which she wasn't, really).
But it was enough for people to not ask a follow-up question.
As always Violet understood, only nodding with a small smile in response.
"You have been feeling better, haven't you?" Eloise said, looking up from her book. "I mean, my company definitely helps, doesn't it?," she said with a wink, making Penelope laugh.
"Yes, your company is much appreciated," Pen answered in the same musing tone.
"Well I'm glad to see her company is enjoyed somewhere. God knows I won't be able to say the same," Violet muttered quietly.
"Hey!," Eloise retorted. "That's not my fault! You drag me to the modiste and practically force me to practice the pianoforte. How am I not supposed to be anything but irritating, mother?"
Violet only sighed knowing full well there was no point in countering Eloise, as she was determined to always have the last word.
She was proven right barely seconds after, as Eloise continued to rant "I mean, what do you expect? That I'm the type of girl that's going to be happy in a frilly dress going to thousands of balls? - "No offence Pen," she quickly added at the end.
Penelope shook her head and smiled; seeing Eloise and her mother argue made things seem a bit more normal.
"Mother, at least be grateful I'm the one who stayed home." Eloise grumbled. "Only god knows how troublesome it would be for you if Anthony or Colin were the ones who stayed home all the time"
"Is that what you really think sister? I would've thought that you missed me?" Penelope heard a voice say at the door, and she prayed it wasn't who she thought it was.
But it was.
Before she even saw who walked in the room, she knew. She would recognize that sweet voice anywhere.
"Colin!!," his mother shouted as she jumped up to embrace him.
"What are you doing here?? I didn't think you were going to be home for another few weeks," Eloise exclaimed as she hugged Colin as well.
"Well, I was... but I missed home too much," he said, giving his mother a quick peck on the cheek.
He's going to see me. He's going to see me.
Penelope panicked as Colin hugged his mother and sister.
Well how was he not going to see me? I'm literally standing right there. It's not like I could make a run for it now.
Well maybe she could leave quickly if she ran this instant. Before Colin even saw her.
But it was too late.
He looked at her, and walked towards her smiling.
To her surprise, he pulled her into a hug, holding her tight.
Penelope was, well she was shook, not expecting him to be so .... bold and informal.
It took her several seconds before she wrapped her arms around him too.
Colin pulled from the hug, but kept his arms around her. "How are you, Pen?," he asked softly.
The question she had answered a million times, she suddenly could not right now.
Why not?
Well Penelope knew why.
Because this time, it was Colin Bridgerton asking her.
She stared back at his deep blue eyes, and in that moment, all Penelope wanted to do was to cry in his arms.
But that was the one thing she told herself she would never do.
"I'm okay, a bit better now," she said breathlessly, truly surprised at herself that she managed to get the words out.
"I'm glad to hear that. I'm only sorry I wasn't able to attend the funeral."
"Yes, speaking of your travels," Eloise chimed in. "What are you doing here?"
"Travelling was amazing. Truly, ... but I couldn't stay away for too long. There were too many things back home that I found myself longing for," he said faintly.
Penelope swore that he glanced at her for a second when he said that.
But maybe it was her mind playing tricks.
But what if it wasn't?
Did Colin miss her?
Penelope could barely think about that when she realized that Colin was actually home.
He was going to be home from now on.
Not weeks from now, like Penelope expected.
How would she deal with him being here?
Was I already over him? she asked herself.
However that question was shortly answered, as Penelope looked back at him. Staring at his beautiful blue eyes, and his boyish, charming smile that always made her smile too.
I'm still in love with you, Colin Bridgerton
~~~~~~~
A/N :
oh damn
what's gonna happen now?
anyways i hope y'all enjoy the new chapter
i relate to pen so much that i love writing about her
please vote & comment so i know im not fucking this up 😂 and i hope y'all are having a great time
& to the people who added this to their reading list 🥺🥺 thank u
yours truly,
violet
19/01/21