I couldn't help myself, I truly couldn't.
As we sat around the table in the restaurant, my hazel gaze kept glancing towards him. God is this man ever handsome. However he must have felt my gaze on him, as he looked up, instantly locking his dark, almost black eyes with mine. Looking back down to the menu quickly, I used it to help hide my shy blush forming on my cheeks.
"Kioshi, with you now graduated from college, what will your plans be going forward?" His father, or rather my new father's deep voice spoke out breaking the silence.
I heard the sigh leave him, and I glanced up to see him merely shrug his shoulders. "We are here to celebrate both yours and Mrs Okita's marriage, we can talk about this later Father." Just hearing his voice made me shiver in my seat. It was just so deep and sexy, the complete opposite from my own.
His father gave off a soft 'tsk' sound, before his eyes went back to looking at the menu he held. Soon the waitress came over and took our orders, leaving me now with no menu to hide behind. "Akira, are you excited for being a senior this year?"
My face raised up, to see my new father's eyes on me now. "Oh, yes sir! I am very excited. I am hoping to once more graduate with top grades and marks again this year." Giving him a soft smile, I nervously push some of my hair from my face.
"Good for you son."
At Mr Tashiro's praise, I glanced towards Kioshi only to see him glaring at me. He made it very clear when he learned I was living in his room. He does not like me one bit. He hates having me around, not to mention his father calling me 'son'.
"After this year, my Akira will be able to get into any college he desires too." My mother hugged me from her seat beside me, causing me to smile shyly at her.
"Mom please..." I mumbled embarrassed about having all the attention now on me.
The waitress who took our orders, soon returned with a bottle of wine plus the iced tea that I ordered. She poured three glasses of wine for everyone else, before leaving the bottle and walking off towards another table.
"Sorry Akira, but you are only sixteen and still underage." I nodded to my new father, picking up my drink. "To my new beautiful darling wife, and our new expanding family."
Glancing over at my mom, she was smiling happily as she blushed softly. We all clinked our glasses together softly, before each sipping our drinks.
God this whole thing was so awkward to me.
The man I am secretly in love with, absolutely hates me. Not to mention we are now step brothers. Though I was fully aware from the very beginning, that a guy like him would never like someone like me. My girly name isn't the only thing girly about me, I am also quiet and not to mention shy. I can honestly say I hate being the center of attention. I would rather much sit somewhere quiet alone reading a book, that is me.
Then again, Kioshi has many girls throwing themselves at him. And he never says no to their advances. That is who he is. He will never settle down for a serious relationship. Not when he can sleep around freely, with way more girls then he should.
During the summer when he actually did visit us, he would make it very clear whose room his bedroom belonged to.
Some days, I would walk in on him either jerking himself off on his bed. Or with a girl doing that for him. Once I even entered him, not only with a girl, but with two girls at the same time. Each time this happens, I shut the door quickly as my heart only breaks and shatters more for this man who will never love me.
However, even knowing all of this I just can't bring myself to stop loving him.
My mom learned about me liking men awhile back, as I asked her if something was wrong with me. She said there wasn't, that I was perfectly normal even for liking the same gender. She never once got upset with me about this.
Mr Tashiro on the other hand, he hates the fact that I am gay. This is the one and only thing he hates about me. Besides that, he adores me fully. So I learned quickly that if he never sees me with a guy, then he would be ok with this. However this makes it harder on me, for loving his straight and only son.
Only one other knows about my crush, and that is how I plan to keep it. If Kioshi himself ever found out, I would die out of embarrassment.
Lost in my thoughts, I blinked my eyes seeing my meal being placed before me. "Oh thank you!" I looked towards the server and smiled softly.
This server was male, and very handsome at that too. He looked at me closely studying my appearance, before winking and walking off. My face instantly heated up, as I stared down at my meal.
This is one thing that I have come to realize very quickly, to other guys who are openly gay as well. Well I seem to catch their attention quite a bit.
This wasn't something I worked on doing though, it just happened. They are all taller, muscular men. But they all seem to have eyes on smaller males like myself. However I stay away from them, because there is one problem. They aren't him.
They aren't Kioshi Tashiro.
Sitting in my seat eating silently, except to speak up when asked a question. I really just wanted this evening to end and to go home. I figured Kioshi would stay elsewhere tonight, as I caught him glancing towards me, then to his father.
"Father, you asked what my plans were now."
"Yes. And what will they be?" Mr Tashiro asked, he was happy his son was finally wanting to discuss such a topic.
"I got accepted for a Teachers Assistant job this year." Kioshi went away to college to study being a teacher the moment he graduated high school. And lucky for him, now at the age of twenty three and fresh out of college he was one step closer to his dream job. "However the job will not pay too much, so I won't be able to afford an apartment on my own quite yet."
His father picked up his glass of wine and sipped it slowly. "Understandable, however this is a good stepping stone into the career of your choice. You are still young, so of course you won't be a full fledged teacher instantly. How much money do you require for an apartment in the city?"
A deep laugh escaped Kioshi's thin lips, making my heart skip a beat at the sound. "None actually. I got hired to work at the local high school here. So I was hoping to move back home for the time being."
My hazel eyes opened wide, as I looked up at him in shock. Did he just say the local high school? My high school? Clearly I heard him wrong, right?
"Well you are aware it is also Akira's room now too, so you will be sharing it with him."
Kioshi glanced towards me, giving me a soft smile. "Yes, I know that. But this way I can save up the money I earn, and put it towards my own place down the road." He looked back to his father and my mother.
"I will even help cook and clean, I don't mind helping around the house."
My mother smiled and nodded happily. "Kioshi darling, you know our home will always be your home. Besides, I think it would be nice for Akira to have a big brother around."
"Yes my thoughts exactly, this will give me and my new little brother some bonding time together." He smiled softly at them before glancing back towards me.
Oh he had our parents fooled. To them they all thought we got along. But I saw that deep glare in those almost black eyes of his, and it made me gulp nervously.
"S-sounds fun..." I whispered out weakly, with a tiny stutter. "May I be excused for a moment." Our parents nodded their heads, as I stood up leaving the table and walking through the restaurant heading towards the restroom.
I more so just needed an excuse to escape that look he gave me. Alone in the restroom, I stand at the counter and stare at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks were heated, as I washed my hands before leaving the area.
On my way out however, I felt a hand grasp at my arm. Looking up, my hazel eyes stared wide seeing the male server from earlier. Gulping nervously as he leaned in, his hot breath tickled my skin, as he whispered into my ear.
"How about you and I, go somewhere more private, beautiful?"
Before I knew it his body was pressed up against mine, as we were out of sight from guests in the hallway towards the restrooms. His grip tightened on my arm making me wince slightly, as I worked on pushing him away. Though being weak was my huge disadvantage. I could only pray that someone would walk by, notice how forcefully he held onto my arm, and would make him let go.
"Akira. You should return back to our table now."
Looking up as the deep voice of Kioshi hit my ears, it was as if he answered my unspoken prayer. The server who still held tightly onto my arm let go instantly, as I rubbed at it gently with my free hand.
Confused, I rushed back to my seat in my moment of freedom, and not long later Kioshi also sat back down across from me at the table.
"How about some dessert?" My mother smiled as my new father agreed happily when we finished our main dishes. "Sweetie, are you okay? Is there something wrong with your arm?"
"Huh?" I glanced down to see my pale skin now turning red, as I tugged down my sleeve further. "I'm f-fine." I always bruise so easily like a damn peach. Knowing full well, that by tonight I was sure his hand print would be showing on my pale skin. Nervously I pushed some of my shaggy soft hair behind my ear, as I felt how sore my arm felt already. Glancing up slowly, I froze as my eyes went wide.
The male server who grabbed me moments ago, walked past our table with a very evident black eye forming upon his face. My hazel eyes instantly went towards Kioshi, did he do that? But why would he?
"What?" He growled out deeply, as he looked up seeing me staring at him.
"N-nothing." I whispered and looked back down as we ordered dessert.
My mind was racing. Kioshi wouldn't have punched him, would he?
Looking up slightly, I saw Kioshi reach for his glass of wine. My heart pounded within my chest. His knuckles looked red, as if he just hit something, or rather someone.
Smiling shyly, I wondered if he did this for me. If maybe deep down, in some small way he did care for me. Even if it wasn't love, like how I feel for him. But perhaps he truly saw me as family now? As his true little brother, one that he needed to protect and keep safe.
...