'' ᵃˡᵒⁿᵉ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ''
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On Tuesday, Sunoh chose to sit closer to the middle of the step. He was tensed as he waited for his classmate to come and join him, wondering what she would think and whether it was best for him to move back.
He felt like they had bonded yesterday after they took a moment to properly look at one another, but since they still hadn't exchanged a single word between them he began to wonder whether it was just his wishful thinking. He liked to think that they were closer now because they knew that both of them were in a similar emotional state to the other, but the more that he repeated this in his mind the less believable the idea became.
Was he overthinking? Was it all in his head? Was he really the only one that felt this way?
The truth was, as much as Sunoh wanted to be alone, he didn't want to be lonely. When they had made eye contact yesterday, Sunoh had felt that his classmate wanted the same thing as him, and in that moment he had thought that maybe they could be alone together. That way neither of them would be lonely anymore.
What seemed like a perfectly good idea before slowly began to make less sense over time. The longer that Sunoh sat by himself, the more he overthought. Inevitably, his mind wandered to his ex-girlfriend.
This is probably why Jojo broke up with me, he thought miserably. She probably got tired of me doing everything on my own without asking her first.
Before the Hwang boy could move back to his original spot at his end of the step, his classmate appeared in his field of vision. He froze, tensing up as she paused her ascension of the concrete staircase when she was only a couple of steps away.
Sunoh held his breath.
She knows—she's noticed—oh god, she's noticed—can the ground swallow me up now?
But he was panicking for nothing, as it turned out. The girl made no comments as she climbed up the last few stairs before perching down on the top-most step of the outdoor staircase.
Sunoh sat stiffly for a moment before risking a glance over at her. He noticed that she had mirrored him, still sitting at a distance away from him but now having moved closer to the middle of the step just as he had done.
The tension in his body melted away instantly.
It's okay, he thought as relief rushed through him, Everything's okay. She's fine with it—she doesn't mind. It's all okay.
The girl snuck a glance over at him while he was distracted by his thoughts, noticing the tension leaving his body as his posture relaxed. She relaxed, too.
Quickly looking away before he caught her staring at him, she decided to watch a group of friends skipping through the courtyard. As her attention left the boy sitting near her to focus on the girls of the group who were dancing for the boys, she found herself frowning. She envied their smiles. What she wouldn't give to be able to smile like that again ...
Sunoh glanced over at her again, then followed her line of sight to the group of friends laughing loudly about something in the courtyard. His lips curled into a scowl as he focused on the boys of the group who were watching the girls dance. He envied their laughter. What he wouldn't give to be able to laugh like that just one more time ...
Both of the heartbroken teens sighed, watching the happy group wistfully from their cold grey step.
─🌊─
When Sunoh climbed the stairs on Wednesday, he found the girl already waiting for him.
Is it just my imagination, or is she sitting closer to the middle today? he wondered as he sat down near her, leaving about half a metre of space between them.
He heard rustling and looked over to find her holding out a strawberry milk carton towards him. He looked up at her as he panicked internally, I don't have anything to offer in return—oh god—what do I do? Should I just accept it or—?
The girl stretched her hand out further towards him, gesturing for him to take the drink.
Ducking his head in a silent 'thank you ', Sunoh took the milk carton from her with one hand while the other discretely searched his pockets for something to repay her with. He found nothing, and cursed himself internally.
I probably seem so pathetic, he thought, making himself feel even worse. He stabbed the milk carton with his straw and proceeded to down the drink quickly out of frustration. I keep borrowing things from her and I never give anything back. She must think that I'm so selfish ...
The sound of a can opening caught his attention and Sunoh looked over as the girl put a straw into her ice coffee can before quietly sipping her drink. She glanced over at him when she felt a pair of eyes boring into her side-profile, catching him staring at her.
They blinked at one another, their gazes steady.
"I heard you liked it."
Sunoh's mind went blank as he continued to stare at the girl in silence. It was the first time that he had heard her speak, and her voice was nothing like he had imagined it to be. It was deeper and a little scratchy as though she hadn't used it in a while. He supposed she hadn't. After all, she had been silent the entire time that he had known her.
"Huh?" he managed to croak out, his own voice sounding just as worn out as hers.
The black-haired girl gestured to the strawberry milk carton in his hand with a nod of her head. "I heard you liked strawberry milk. Is that not true?"
Sunoh hesitated, looking down at the drink. Quietly, he said, "Jojo liked it, so naturally I ... "
"Oh. I see."
As tears welled up in his eyes, Sunoh lowered his head. His heart ached as memories of him and his ex-girlfriend flitted through his head once again, each one deepening the wound that hadn't even started healing yet.
"Tae-joon liked iced coffee."
Sunoh looked over at the girl again, his vision blurry from the tears that he was trying to keep at bay.
Once again, her face was like a mirror—her eyes were glassy and rimmed with red as she turned to stare back at him. Her bottom lip trembled and she took in a shaky breath, mirroring his desperate attempts to remain composed.
"Oh. Right ... " he trailed off, connecting the dots and realising that Tae-joon must be the person responsible for her current state the same way that Jojo was responsible for his.
Sunoh's body itched to move closer to her. He felt like he was breaking and he knew that she felt like that too—he could see it in her eyes. The need to hold her and pull her broken pieces back together just as he wished someone would do for him came crashing over him in one big tidal wave, overwhelming him as the first of her tears ran down her cheeks.
"Can I—?"
"Yes," she nodded quickly, understanding what he was going to say without him even finishing. Scooting closer towards him, she choked out, "Please—"
And so Sunoh didn't hesitate anymore, mirroring her action of moving closer so that he was sitting right beside her in the middle of the step.
They reached for one another at the same time, her arms wrapping around his back under his arms which he wrapped around her shoulders. She pressed her face into his chest and he rested his chin on top of her head. As he felt her clutch onto his blazer tightly, he rested one of his hands on the back of her head and threaded his fingers through her hair gently.
Clinging on to one another, the two broken souls cried their hearts out while trying to fix one another, pulling each other as close as possible and ignoring everyone and everything around them.
In that moment, nothing else mattered. Only them.
─🌊─
When the bell rang at the end of the lunch break, the girl sniffled and pulled away slightly to look up at him. "I don't want to go," she managed to say in between hiccups, her hands tightening their hold on his blazer.
"Then don't," Sunoh whispered back, momentarily untangling his fingers from her hair to gently brush her tears away with his fingertips. His voice broke as he pleaded, "Don't go."
A fresh wave of tears appeared in their eyes as they looked at one another. Each could see that the other was vulnerable, and each could feel that the other wouldn't have the heart to hurt them. With this revelation came a feeling of mutual trust.
"I'm Seo Nari," the girl whispered.
Equally quiet came the boy's reply, "I'm Hwang Sunoh."
Nari hid her face in Sunoh's chest again and he reached up to gently stroke the back of her head in a comforting manner. They sniffled quietly as they continued to hold one another, relishing in each other's warmth and the comfort it brought.
─🌊─
Nari didn't bother waiting until lunch to see Sunoh the following day. As soon as she spotted him walking towards the school entrance she rushed over to him, stopping in front of him and making him stop as well.
"Hi," she greeted him eagerly.
He was silent for a moment, blinking at her with mild surprise glinting in his usually empty eyes.
The Hwang boy's silence dragged on for a second too long. Nari took a step backwards and away from him, cursing at herself in her mind. Stupid, she thought as her throat closed up, You couldn't wait a couple of hours to go and see him? You were that desperate? This is why Tae-joon left you. This is why no one wants you. You're pathetic.
She hung her head and made a move to leave while mumbling over her shoulder, "I-I'm sorry—"
"No!" Sunoh exclaimed, grabbing her arm before she could run away and pulling her back towards him. He shook his head quickly as he rambled, "I didn't mean—I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking—I was just surprised to see you here now, I'm sorry."
Nari blinked up at him, shame filling her eyes. "I'm the one that's sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you, I should have waited—"
"No," Sunoh shook his head again as he let go of her arm, afraid that his grip was crushing her and she wasn't saying anything out of politeness. "I wasn't going to wait, so I'm glad that you had the same thought as me."
It took Nari a moment to understand his words. "You were going to find me? Now?"
Sunoh nodded. "You found me first, though."
Relief rushed through Nari and her tense posture relaxed a little. I wasn't being stupid, she shot back at the voice in her head. He feels the same—he wanted to see me too.
"Come on," Sunoh said after checking the time on his watch, "Roll call is about to start. Be my partner in lab class today?"
Nari nodded as the two began to walk side by side down the path leading to the school entrance, a comfortable silence settling between them.
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these two make me so happy but sad at the same time ;^;
also, did I listen to Bang Chan singing 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons on loop while writing this? um no I didn't what are you talking about 👀
more updates to come soon~~
please vote and comment!! thank you for reading!! ❤