Chapter thirty-six; The perfect atmosphere
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Remus smiled at Jasmine right after she told him the name. His eyes flickered across her face as he had to try especially hard to get his thoughts straight in this situation.
''It's beautiful.'' He finally let out after a few moments of silence.
Jasmine's cheeks started gathering a rosy colour. She looked away briefly and then became extremely aware of how close they were standing. She cleared her throat awkwardly and completely looked away from his face. After she moved her arm, Remus finally released the hold on her and then stepped away to put some space in between them. Jasmine asked herself what was happening, why was she blushing so hard when Remus said those two simple words.
She looked around a little at what mess they made and couldn't help but chuckle at the situation. Remus pulled out his wand and cast a drying spell over both of them. Jasmine smiled at him in appreciation and then she moved to the sink to clean the rest of the mess. Because the floor was still covered with water she managed to slip on it and let out a yelp. Luckily it was right next to the counter and she quickly grabbed the top of it and held herself upright.
''Are you alright?'' Remus immediately asked after he heard a yelp. He stepped over to her and pressed a comforting hand on her back.
Jasmine chuckled nervously. ''Yeah, I'm fine.'' She turned back to the sink, Remus's hand dropping from her back.
She heard Remus shifting behind her but had no idea what he was doing. Then he leaned on the counter next to her still in very close proximity. ''Thank you for telling me.'' He said.
Jasmine closed the tap and dried off her hands. She furrowed her eyebrows as she turned sideways to look at him. ''Telling you what?'' She asked with confusion.
Her eyes travelled up from his smile to his green eyes as she in all honesty had no idea what he was on about.
''Everything. I know it's hard to talk about personal stuff.'' Remus replied, his voice in a very soft tone.
Jasmine smiled at him and thought in her head that he couldn't get sweeter than that. ''Well, you make it very easy to do so.'' She replied contently.
She watched his facial expression and she could swear she saw a slight blush on his cheeks but it was hard to tell because of the dim lighting. The air around them was warm and calm as they fell into a comfortable silence. Jasmine noticed how Remus' hair stuck up at odd places after he dried it. Her eyes observed the smallest of details on him, details that only stand out if you really pay attention.
For example how she couldn't imagine him without that beautiful scar that ran down on the side of his face and how she could see the emotion reflecting in his eyes. How his smile was always a bit crooked but it gave him personality, how his jaw tensed up whenever he was thinking or how he bit his lip when he didn't want to smile too much. Like he was doing right at that moment. Their faces were close, giving them so little space to observe each other but they still did.
Jasmine's brain had absolutely no time to register what was happening and even if she had time she couldn't know. It was like he put her in trance, unable to move, only watch and feel her heartbeat that was picking its rate with every second. She had only that much time to ask herself if he could hear the thumping of her heart due to the space practically evading from between them. By now it was pretty obvious to both of them. They felt something, something different for one another but at the same time, each refused to believe that the feelings were the same on both sides. That last fact didn't matter to them at the moment. They were in a bubble, nothing to disturb, no doubts, no regrets, no thoughts other than about each other. It was just Jasmine and Remus, standing very close.
It was like time went into slow motion as Remus moved his hands to cup Jasmine's face before he softly pressed his lips to hers. Jasmine took a couple of moments to realise that Remus was kissing her. This wasn't some innocent kiss on the cheek from a week before. This was a real kiss, Jasmine's first real kiss. Her brain overflowed with serotonin as her senses slowly kicked in and she returned the kiss. Her hands were awkwardly hanging by her side as she had no idea what do to with them. She could only feel Remus' hands on her face and his unbelievably soft lips on hers.
After he pulled away, but still kept a close distance between them, Jasmine's eyes fluttered open. Her pupils were dilated and her lips parted as she had to tilt her head slightly to be able to look at him. The height difference wasn't a lot, Jasmine wasn't the shortest of girls, but Remus was tall and he towered over her. The moment of both being in a sort of trance lasted longer in their minds than it did in real life. They stood completely still merely looking at each other without any other major reaction.
''You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that,'' Remus said, a smile breaking out on his features.
His thumb softly caressed her cheek. The corners of Jasmine's lips turned upwards as she bashfully looked away. This time Remus took his time to notice the details about her.
Her hair was always somehow pinned back so it wouldn't always be falling on her face when she smiled small dimples appeared on her cheeks that were usually covered in light blush. She quirked up her eyebrows in a cute way when she was confused or curious and he liked how she pursed her lips in a smug way before she was about to laugh about the joke.
Jasmine looked back at Remus the proximity still very close when she suddenly widened her eyes. As a reaction, she took a step backwards making Remus release the hold on her.
''What's wrong?'' Remus asked with confusion.
She looked happy a moment ago, why a sudden change in reaction? Did he do something wrong? A devastated expression fell on his face as he started to regret he kissed her at all. She clearly didn't like him. Jasmine turned away and put her hand up to her head, while her eyes were still wide as though she just realised something. She looked back at Remus to answer his question. Her mouth was opening and closing like she was a fish out of water.
''What are we doing? What is this?'' She asked a sort of panic laced in her voice.
Remus was beyond confused then. He surely believed she liked it and now she started freaking out. He wanted to clear his confusion when Jasmine turned sideways and started pacing. ''Wh-?''
''This can't be happening you know. I can't do this. I'm not allowed to. Why did we just kiss? Oh god, oh god, oh god. This is not good. He's going to find out somehow, I know it. Why did I ever think this was a good idea at the beginning?'' She suddenly stopped and clamped both her hands over her mouth and looked at Remus with fear.
She deeply regreted rambling like that and not thinking about his feelings. Remus was still standing by the counter, arms by his side and sad expression on his face as his eyes followed Jasmine's figure. They stood like that for a couple of moments, neither of them able to move.
Jasmine dropped her hands from her mouth and stepped forward to him. ''I'm sorry.'' She quickly apologised, her eyes sincere. ''I didn't mean to-''
''It's okay, you didn't I totally understand-''
''Remus no, you don't get it-''
''No, no it's fine, I shouldn't have kissed you, I know you don't feel the same.''
''That's not it, I liked the kiss.'' Jasmine in the process of them jumping into each other's sentences reached forwards and grabbed his hands holding firmly on to them.
The last sentence stopped Remus from arguing more and he only then realised she was holding his hands. Jasmine looked down at their connected hands as she tried to gather her thoughts and explain them without hurting his feelings this time.
''It's just-'' Words did not seem to be ready to come out of her.
Remus gave her a soft encouraging squeeze with his hands and offered her a smile, letting her know he's listening. Jasmine let out a sigh, looking away.
''Do you understand why I can't date anyone?'' She paused hoping he would nod, but Remus stayed still. ''Even if I did, William would find out, tell my father, he would literally kill me and the next thing I know I'll be engaged to some random bloke. It's inevitable. Even if I make myself believe for a short while that I'll have a future with someone I want, it's not going to happen, everything is already decided. So this is a no go from my side.'' Her eyebrows were creased and she looked sadly at Remus.
He looked like he was thinking, replaying her words and keeping her waiting full of worry. Jasmine wanted this more than anything, it was a first good thing that happened to her in forever. But her rational, and depressed mind didn't allow her to, she knew it would end up badly.
''Nothing has to change. We're hiding already anyway, so what difference would it actually be?'' Remus replied. He let go of her right hand reached up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Different thoughts were battling inside Jasmine's head, yes or no, what should she do. She was at a point believing that from now on there were two paths. Either she says yes and she has a secret relationship with Remus, blindly believing that they may have a future, or she says no and their friendship is over. It is no way they can go back to being just friends after this.
''But if we hide, what happens after school's over, what if-''
''Jasmine, you worry too much.'' Remus stopped her from another ramble. ''I might call Sirius so he'll give you a pep talk. You really think if he was able to escape from the most control freak, status-conscious family, and you can't?''
That shut Jasmine up immediately. Of course, she thought about that before, thought about escaping. She knew she would never be able to live with her dad and his torture. But she never felt brave enough to do anything so she rather stopped thinking about it. Then her mind flowed with imaginary situations. Being in a relationship with Remus, being happy and while she thought about it nothing really would change. Despite a few more intimate details about the relationship between them.
Subconsciously a smile appeared on her lips and she made Remus smile too. ''You're right.'' She said softly, looking into his eyes.
Then she looked away briefly and noticed the tray of biscuits still sitting on the top of the counter. A chuckle escaped her as she completely let go of Remus' hands and stepped over to it. She completely forgot to bake the biscuits as so much was happening with everything else.
As she put them in the oven, Remus spoke up. ''Jasmine?''
She hummed in answer, allowing him to continue his question. She turned around and saw Remus was watching something in the darker part of the kitchen.
''Isn't that your cat?'' He pointed at something. Jasmine joined him at his side and indeed Isla was rubbing her body on the edge of a cupboard, her green eyes wide open and watching the pair.
Jasmine furrowed her eyebrows as she went to pick her up. She did find her frequently roaming the castle at random times, but that was with all of the students' pets. Remus smiled down at Jasmine as he scratched behind Isla's ears, the moment falling back into the perfect comfortable atmosphere.
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Does anyone know where I got the line Remus said after they kissed? (just wondering if I have any fellow fans amongst my lovely readers)