"Looser !"
"Trash !"
"pathetic !"
"Weak !"
"Waste of time !"
Those words. It hurts. Why do I feel this way ? It's normal for me to be unappreciated, right ? I dunno anymore. No one seems to care for my feelings or my wellbeing. Not even her. She never liked me ever since I came to her nor when we first met. Yet I still protect her, tried to befriend her but non of those efforts fruited any results. The only thing I got was a "Get lost" note from her.
I sigh, reminincing the times where things are normal for me back in the day where I would just play games and sleep late. Now it's different. Very different. I have so called training and mentors. Damn them all ! They're called mentors but they never mentored me how to be better. All they say is "Keep training and improve yourself if you want to stay" but HOW ??? Non of them gave me some kind of tip nor motivation ! Only one person ever did but he's dead now. May he rest in peace.
I punched the walls, the doors, anything that's solid hard just to release my tension. Only resulted in broken knuckles. Like any of them cared at all anyways. Hedgehog, heh. He's now titled SuperAgent along with the girl that I fell for. I now think of that falling for the yellow girl is a mistake, biggest mistake I've ever made. Worse than helping Nikki, worse than secretly following the mentors on a mission and worse than actually joining this stupid organization !
Those are only the few reasons why I want to do that. To jump into the unknown where no one will find me ever again. What ? What about my dad ? He's dead, HE'S FUCKING DEAD !!!! He died on a failed mission where the so called SuperAgent duos are supposed to save him. Ever since that failed mission, I never wanted to be part of that organization filled with arrogant show-offs. All they do is show off and belittle the weak. Like how they keep insulting me just because I couldn't past a training simulation. This is why I hate them. I first thought that everyone in there were awesome but to my disappointment they are just people who cared fot themselves without thinking how other's feel. They made fun of me for getting IRIS confisticated after Mission: Neo. If only I can just prove to them that I am not weak, which of course is a mere fantasy of mine. Now I am just waiting for the right moment to leave this school without that arrogant girl dragging me into the Academy.
I sighed again, school's finally over and I'm now on my way to the outside of the city where I can just finally..... Rest in peace.
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All the notes ended with a clarification of the writer implying suicidal thoughts. The chinese boy found the notes in his friend's table where he used to be. The chinese boy felt pity and sorrow for the lost of his bestfriend that he wish he could have helped by giving motivation or emotional support. Now it's too late to regret all that. Now he needs to keep on living for him.
For his sorrowful friend.
His friend, Ali